If CBS Evening News anchor Dan Rather were to fight 70s Kung-fu expert and counterculture icon Billy Jack
“I’ll fight you, Billy. But regardless of the outcome, I stand by my contention that embracing small lies in pursuit of larger Truths is both noble and necessary.”
“You know something? You’re absolutely right. Tell you what: instead of my kicking your ass six ways to Sunday, let’s you and me go somewhere for a soda or some french fries or something…”
29 Replies to “If CBS Evening News anchor Dan Rather were to fight 70s Kung-fu expert and counterculture icon Billy Jack”
Funny. I live in the town where Billy Jack was filmed. There are guys who still dress up like that, drive old Jeeps, and say stuff to tourists like “This is a sacred place” and “I’m part Apache”.
Billy Jack would so kick his lyin’ ass. Only after he took his boots off, though. That way he makes Rather wait for his ass-kickin’.
Billy Jack is a serious contender for the title of worst movie ever made, Jeff. If the female lead (I forget her name) were any stiffer, she’d be freakin’ dead. You’d think such a straight and obvious plotline would be short and sweet, but no; they stuffed enough pious homilies and peacenik superiority complex in there to put a DNC press flack to sleep. What an awful, pointless, silly piece of .. propaganda that was.
And after yesterday’s Shakespeare, I had such high hopes.
A critical examination of Billy Jack reveals a flawed movie on all levels- script, acting, direction etc.
However, the big fight scene was excellent. Hapkido legend Bong Soo Han was the stunt double for Tom…..Laughlin(?). You never saw Tom’s face until the end of the scene when he got his ass kicked. It was all filmed from behind.
Billy Jack the worst movie? I’m sorry but you are soooo out of it. You don’t know bad movies until you see Tom Laughlin’s masterpiece “The Master Gunfighter”. Laughlin is the black sheep of a spanish Californian family that just happens to carry a revolver and a samurai sword …
It made Billy Jack look like freakin’ Best Picture Oscar material.
Damn. I was hoping Billy Jack was going to tell Dan Rather, “I am going to take my right foot and kick you right there on the side of your face, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.” Followed by some inane hippie street theater, of course.
I was in a movie that could be the worst. Its called “The Beast Within” a horror flick, 1982 or 83. The main character is the progeny of a “unholy” union between his mom and a swamp monster.
Look at my pic and see the movie. See if you can find me. I don’t admit to the movies, they were all bad. The theatre…Dracula, Ann of a thousand days, Lion in Winter, Kiss me Kate, Charlie’s Aunt….those I am proud of.
Billy Jack? When I think of that movie, and think about how I’m going to remember it, and remember the humiliation of that sweet little girl… for the rest of my life… Well I just go ber-SERK!
In other news, the Valley People’s Select Committee on Intelligence has just issued its findings on the intelligence failures which led to last year’s attack on the Mountain People. Though the report does point to specific errors withing the VIA and other agencies, it found the ultimate cause was that, in the words of the comittee’s chairman, “those Mountain People were just too freakin’ dumb to live. I mean, when you go around calling something a ‘treasure’ naturally people are going to assume it’s a treasure. If they’d just come out and told us it was nothing but a goddamned rock with a slogan on it, they’d still be alive today. Stupid bastards.”
Guys and gals, if you’re looking for the worst Tom Laughlin movie, then you need to look at the “Billy Jack” prequel: “Born Losers.” Jane Russell co-stars and the title tells all.
Indeed,the Internet Movie Database lists Jane Russell as “Mrs. Shorn.” In my defense, I haven’t seen this movie since it came out in 1967. IMDB.COM also states that “BL” was banned in Sweden because of its violence.
Funny. I live in the town where Billy Jack was filmed. There are guys who still dress up like that, drive old Jeeps, and say stuff to tourists like “This is a sacred place” and “I’m part Apache”.
Do they try do become one with snakes? Please tell me they try to become one with snakes.
They do, but its not in the way you think.
Billy Jack would so kick his lyin’ ass. Only after he took his boots off, though. That way he makes Rather wait for his ass-kickin’.
Billy Jack is a serious contender for the title of worst movie ever made, Jeff. If the female lead (I forget her name) were any stiffer, she’d be freakin’ dead. You’d think such a straight and obvious plotline would be short and sweet, but no; they stuffed enough pious homilies and peacenik superiority complex in there to put a DNC press flack to sleep. What an awful, pointless, silly piece of .. propaganda that was.
And after yesterday’s Shakespeare, I had such high hopes.
Blasphemer.
Billy Jack wasn’t tall, but he was a man.
A critical examination of Billy Jack reveals a flawed movie on all levels- script, acting, direction etc.
However, the big fight scene was excellent. Hapkido legend Bong Soo Han was the stunt double for Tom…..Laughlin(?). You never saw Tom’s face until the end of the scene when he got his ass kicked. It was all filmed from behind.
Great double feature: Billy Jack and Walking Tall.
Then, if you need more, try White Lightning. Testosterone never squeezed into tighter pants.
Hard Times with Chuck Bronson always gets the juices flowing.
Ah…not the snakes. It’s the raven, man, the raven.
I never even heard of this movie. When was it?
Maybe Rather’s epitaph will be “One Tin Soldier Rides Away”
Nah, too good for him.
Billy Jack the worst movie? I’m sorry but you are soooo out of it. You don’t know bad movies until you see Tom Laughlin’s masterpiece “The Master Gunfighter”. Laughlin is the black sheep of a spanish Californian family that just happens to carry a revolver and a samurai sword …
It made Billy Jack look like freakin’ Best Picture Oscar material.
Damn. I was hoping Billy Jack was going to tell Dan Rather, “I am going to take my right foot and kick you right there on the side of your face, and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.” Followed by some inane hippie street theater, of course.
I was in a movie that could be the worst. Its called “The Beast Within” a horror flick, 1982 or 83. The main character is the progeny of a “unholy” union between his mom and a swamp monster.
Awesome awful flick, The Beast Within. You weren’t “Amanda,” were you?
Oh. And here: Billy Jack (1971).
Look at my pic and see the movie. See if you can find me. I don’t admit to the movies, they were all bad. The theatre…Dracula, Ann of a thousand days, Lion in Winter, Kiss me Kate, Charlie’s Aunt….those I am proud of.
Oh, but they were long ago in a galaxy far far away…….
Billy Jack? When I think of that movie, and think about how I’m going to remember it, and remember the humiliation of that sweet little girl… for the rest of my life… Well I just go ber-SERK!
Anybody see “The Trial of Billy Jack”?
Dude, I own the DVD box set.
In other news, the Valley People’s Select Committee on Intelligence has just issued its findings on the intelligence failures which led to last year’s attack on the Mountain People. Though the report does point to specific errors withing the VIA and other agencies, it found the ultimate cause was that, in the words of the comittee’s chairman, “those Mountain People were just too freakin’ dumb to live. I mean, when you go around calling something a ‘treasure’ naturally people are going to assume it’s a treasure. If they’d just come out and told us it was nothing but a goddamned rock with a slogan on it, they’d still be alive today. Stupid bastards.”
They always show Billy Jack but almost never show Born Losers and never, ever show The Trial of Billy Jack.
Who was the washed up, big-time actress in Born Losers? It’s been years since I’ve seen it.
Remember the brunette lead actress? Her acting was terrible but she was completely hot. Holy crap. I wish I could go back in time and pound her……..
Guys and gals, if you’re looking for the worst Tom Laughlin movie, then you need to look at the “Billy Jack” prequel: “Born Losers.” Jane Russell co-stars and the title tells all.
Jane Russell! Yes, yes, now I remember……
She must have been really hurtin` to take that part.
Actually, Jane Russell played Billy Jack’s mom in “Born Losers”!
Not quite, Van. Jane Russell played the drunk mother of a girl who is raped in Born Losers, I’m pretty sure.
Ding Ding Ding!!!
Jeff G. gets it.
I stand corrected.
Indeed,the Internet Movie Database lists Jane Russell as “Mrs. Shorn.” In my defense, I haven’t seen this movie since it came out in 1967. IMDB.COM also states that “BL” was banned in Sweden because of its violence.