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Monday Night Football

The Broncos and Raiders have the late game, which means I put off tailgating today until after I downed a couple breakfast burritos.

That was four hours ago, though.

So.

Question: is it sad that I’m at home, alone, doing beer bongs with Miller Chill? Or is it more, you know — awesome…?

62 Replies to “Monday Night Football”

  1. I Callahan says:

    Awesome. Next question?

  2. cranky-d says:

    When the kid comes home, you’ll have all the makings of an afterschool special.

  3. Abe Froman says:

    If I did a beer bong it would exit my mouth as quickly as it entered.

  4. DarthLevin says:

    Dude. You can get Fat Tire where you live, and you’re doing Miller Chill??!?!!

    I once booked a two-hour layover in Denver on a flight from Columbus OH to Miami solely so I could get a couple Fat Tires.

  5. Jeff G. says:

    I’m not a Fat Tire fan.

    I’m a Guinness guy. So much so that all I have left in my fridge is Miller Chill.

  6. TaiChiWawa says:

    Sad or awesome? Dude, that’s like sick!

  7. A fine scotch says:

    DL,
    You don’t beer bong Fat Tire. (And my house is almost exactly 1/2 way between the New Belgium brewery and DIA, just sayin’…)

    Jeff,
    You don’t invite me? Don’t you love me anymore?!?!?

  8. Jeff G. says:

    It’s not you, afs. It’s my nakedness.

    I’m shy.

  9. Abe Froman says:

    You can get Fat Tire where you live, and you’re doing Miller Chill??!?!!

    I’m as much of a beer snob as the next guy, but for pounding you really can’t beat the big three evil brewers.

  10. A fine scotch says:

    You’re drunk and naked AND I’m not invited?!?! Now I know it’s personal.

  11. Jeff G. says:

    Okay, I lied.

    I’m tailgating the Republican debate tonight.

    I’ve gotta get my Huntsman on.

  12. I’m gonna say awesome. Tonight’s my only night home this week and I will be doing the pick-up, drop-off thing until 9. My flight’s at 6 so I have to leave here by 4, which means if I see any football I will pay for it. Oh, I will pay…

  13. serr8d says:

    It’s awesome, man! You’ll have plenty of time to do beer shots, especially if the Raiders win time of possession like they did last year. Pretty much they dominated the Broncs points-wise 98-37, thanks to McFadden.

    I’d like to see Tebow on the field, but isn’t he now 3rd string? He’s a fan favorite, I’ve heard. Not bad for a lousy God-botherer.

  14. LBascom says:

    AFS is right. Miller is the correct beer to pour in a bong. The good stuff you pour down your gullet.

  15. serr8d says:

    Loves me some Fat Tire. Thanks, Publix!

  16. Dana says:

    Yeah, well I live in the Real Time Zone (Eastern), and the damned game doesn’t come on until 2200, and, since I arise at 0500, the game will get missed. :(

    But allow me to remind you that my Oakland Raiders kicked the Ponies’ butts twice last year. :)

  17. bh says:

    It’s awesome because everything is awesome during football season.

  18. Squid says:

    I’m at home, alone, doing beer bongs with Miller Chill?

    How can you be alone when Mr. Chill is there doing beer bongs with you? And just who is this Miller fellow, anyway? A friend of the ‘Dillo? A sofa-cushion-pill induced hallucination?

  19. Carin says:

    GO LIONS!!!

    don’t break my heart again ….

  20. cranky-d says:

    I think Detroit is going to do well this year. The Vikings and the Chargers, however, will probably continue to disappoint me. So, go Packers!

    In five hours or so I’ll be at the bar, waiting for the first quarter to start, which also means free beer for that quarter. In the past the free beer meant something; now it’s more of a challenge just to see if I can get served or not, as I will likely be the oldest person there (college bar).

  21. geoffb says:

    Just stay away from the Bud Light Lime it might be recycled/reclaimed from Sacramento.

  22. Ernst Schreiber says:

    I think Detroit is going to do well this year. The Vikings and the Chargers, however, will probably continue to disappoint me. So, go Packers!

    Clearly you’re not native to the land of 10 thousand billion mosquitos. Suffering through the Vikings’s inevitable disappointments is character building —kinda like the long winters.

    Your reward for all that character is that approximately once a decade they almost fail to disappoint.

  23. Dana says:

    geoffb wrote:

    Just stay away from the Bud Light Lime it might be recycled/reclaimed from Sacramento.

    I have an e-mail friend who lives in Denver who absolutely despises a pony-tailed 60+ year old Berkeley lib who lives in the Pyrite State. I really annoyed her one day by pointing out that Burnie’s urine goes into the waste water treatment plant in Oakland, evaporates, becomes a cloud, crosses the Rockies, and rains into Denver’s reservoir, so she was actually drinking Burnie’s piss.

    Alas! for Jeff and his Rocky Mountain friends: they’re drinking Berkeley lib piss, too!

    Fortunately for us in the Keystone State, we drink the recycled urine of Red State Midwestern America.

  24. cranky-d says:

    I am from San Diego, Ernst. Yet, I’ve watched the Vikings every year since I moved here in Sept ’96, and I think after their many “almost rans” my character is built up enough.

  25. geoffb says:

    I’m in Michigan, ours comes from Chicago piss.

  26. Abe Froman says:

    The Vikings built up my character so thoroughly that I don’t need to follow them anymore.

  27. JD says:

    My Colts suck so bad the our new motto is “Suck for Luck”. When we go 1-15 we can get Andrew to apprentice behind 18 for 2-3 years.

    As bh said, everything is awesomer during football season. Except Jabba the Rex. He is still epic suck.

  28. Squid says:

    Your reward for all that character is that approximately once a decade they almost fail to disappoint.

    Our running joke during the perennial stadium debates is “Imagine if we had a proper outdoor stadium instead of the Dome. The Vikings could have lost nine or ten Super Bowls by now!”

  29. DarthLevin says:

    JD, you can’t have Andrew Luck. I have a feeling that Obama’s poll numbers are going to go so low the Dems will draft him for their nominee.

  30. Dana says:

    DarthLevin wrote:

    JD, you can’t have Andrew Luck. I have a feeling that Obama’s poll numbers are going to go so low the Dems will draft him for their nominee.

    Good luck with that!

    [ouch!]

    Look, the first draft choice already knows that he’s going to a lower, but no one deserves that bad a loser!

  31. LTC John says:

    I vote “awesome” as well. A pity it isn’t Wolf chili, however.

  32. JD says:

    Darth – that was just so not right and uncalled for. Can’t you leave me with a faint glimmer of hope in the midst of my misery?

  33. motionview says:

    Pilsner Urquell. Maker’s Mark. Stag’s Leap Cabernet. Fess Parker Pinot. Beyond Blue Dream.

    Wait, what was the question again?

  34. cranky-d says:

    JD has joined the rest of us with crappy football teams. Having a bad team is a burden, but we have broad shoulders, so we can carry it. Plus, those of us not from Ohio can remind ourselves that our team is probably not as perennially bad as the Browns. That makes the burden a little lighter.

    On the other hand, baseball is winding down, and the Twins are doing their best to be the worst team of all.

  35. LBascom says:

    “JD has joined the rest of us with crappy football teams. “

    I always measured crappy against whether you can beat the Lions.

    If they beat the Lions and fail to make the play-offs, they’re just sucky. Otherwise known as experiencing a building year.

    I predict an increase in crappy teams this year.

  36. geoffb says:

    Thanks Lee.

  37. JD says:

    The Lions are good this year. If their division was not so tough, I would say playoff good.

    We are just temporarily sucky.

  38. motionview says:

    Only eight days until reamde. Everyone as excited as I am?

  39. geoffb says:

    THANKYOU!!! motionview. Didn’t even know that was coming. Ordered.

  40. LTC John says:

    Yeah, I am pretty stoked up – just saw it was coming.

    Now if we could get that Goldstein feller to put finger to keyboard … I’d buy!

  41. bh says:

    NEWSFLASH: Tom Brady is a really, really, really good quarterback.

  42. ThomasD says:

    I had to Bing Miller Chill.

    Is this you being subtle about my measly contributions?

    I’ll endeavor to persevere.

  43. sdferr says:

    Pablo, what’s the deal with B. Spikes? Still leg issues or is it some other injury keeping him out?

  44. Pablo says:

    Hey, how about them Patriots?

    sdferr, as far as I know Spikes isn’t yet over his ankle problem. I’m on vacay in SD though, so what do I know?

  45. sdferr says:

    Heh. You know A. Hernandez is a keeper, I’d say at a guess. This, I’ve discovered is part of what’s wrong with the Cowpokes. They got nary a Florida kid on the roster.

  46. sdferr says:

    At the half:

    Denver YPP 5.3 . . . pts – 3
    Oakland YPP 3.8 . . . pts – 16

    This could turn in the second.

  47. Pablo says:

    Hernandez is the man. And I’d once again like to thank the Fish for Welker.

  48. Dana says:

    sdferr wrote:

    This could turn in the second.

    Not when they let the Raiders run the ball down their throats. I am pleased.

  49. serr8d says:

    As the Broncos’ offense stagnated in Monday night’s 23-20 loss to the Raiders, Denver fans began to chant for backup quarterback Tim Tebow. John Fox was not amused. According to the Denver Post, when Fox was asked in his post-game press conference if he considered making a change at quarterback, he ignored the question.

    TEBOW! PALIN!

    It’s the ones we can’t get that intrigue us the most, it seems.

  50. Dana says:

    The Raiders ran the ball for 190 yards; the Donkeys for 38. I’m not sure how Tim Tebow could help that, unless the fans wanted him in at linebacker.

  51. A fine scotch says:

    After having fought the traffic (they f’ing shut down COLFAX!) to witness that abortion, I wish I had been bonging Miller Chill since 6:30…

  52. A fine scotch says:

    The Broncos desperately need linemen, both offensive and defensive. They had no ability to control the line on either side. They realized it early and tried to shoot upfield. This Raiders’ coach has a couple of functioning brain cells, let them race upfield, and ran right through the area they vacated.

    And, if Champ Bailey weren’t such a sure tackler, the yardage totals could’ve been MUCH worse.

  53. Jeff G. says:

    Broncos fans are a joke. Broncos beat writers thrive on keeping the drama going — and fueling it unnecessarily.

    Once again, Orton had no running game and was under duress much of the night. Still, a 63-yard field goal was the difference in the game. Orton did commit a very costly fumble, but it was after what was a great fake, and with a receiver wide open as a result.

    The defense never got him the ball back after they closed to within 3.

    Of course, we were playing thin without DJ Williams at Will linebacker and without Thomas up front. But many of Oakland’s best runs came on quick traps and draw plays, or else McFadden getting the edge.

    On the plus side, they ran for 100 yards or so less than last time we played, and overall, there’s plenty to build on here. If the fans would just shut up and let the coaches and management decide who the best players are.

  54. A fine scotch says:

    I saw ESPN show clips of Bronco fans chanting for Tebow. What a fucking joke! It’s like you said above, the media is fuelining drama. I was AT the game and didn’t hear them, so it couldn’t have been a big contingent. The booing was audible but not widespread, at least before we left in the middle of the 4th.

    And, that fumble only happened because it was wet out there. I don’t know if the cameras showed it, but there was a LOT of rain. That loss was not on Orton. As I said above, their lines were awful.

  55. Dana says:

    Our esteemed host has been drinking!

    Orton did commit a very costly fumble, but it was after what was a great fake, and with a receiver wide open as a result.

    Other than that, Mrs Kennedy, how was Dallas?

  56. Dana says:

    Drinking heavily! :)

    On the plus side, they ran for 100 yards or so less than last time we played

    Is that how “Yeah, they kicked our candy asses, but not as bad as they kicked them the last time” translates in Denver? :)

  57. Jeff G. says:

    A 63-yard field goal, a missed 56-yard field goal, and a wet-ball fumble, were the differences between a win and a loss last night.

    If it makes you happy to believe you’re the baddest boy on the block, more power to you. I was actually heartened by what I saw last night, particularly after losing Dumervil early on and not having the starting Will linebacker and two of the starting DLs.

    Denver fans are morons. And as with everything else these days, the media and the preening ignorance of the majority of the population is ruining what was once enjoyable.

    What sucks is, I hurt both my arms and I haven’t been able to lift much recently, and that’s where I like to go when I need to clear my head and get away from the drooling and simpering humanity that surrounds me: there’s no politics to it, just me and my goals, and everything depends on my own dedication.

    I’m so bummed right now.

  58. Dana says:

    Our esteemed host wrote:

    If it makes you happy to believe you’re the baddest boy on the block, more power to you.

    We Raiders’ fans haven’t had a lot to cheer about for nine years now, so we’ve got a lot of missed gloating to catch up on!

  59. A fine scotch says:

    Jeff,

    Do NOT follow Dave Krieger on Twitter. I’m pretty sure his followers are exactly the “preening ignorance…of the population” you’re referring to. God, they’re shallow…

  60. Jeff G. says:

    I don’t, afs.

    In fact, I’m just going to watch the games. I’m through reading columns. I’ll follow injuries and transactions.

    For instance, I heard today that Dumervil, Moreno, Bailey, and Lloyd are all getting MRIs. So it may be that the season is already over anyway.

  61. Slartibartfast says:

    Not that anyone asked, but Tebow was hugely popular at Florida because he was bold where Chris Leak was timid, he was decisive where Leak was hesitant, and he was a born leader where Leak didn’t really relate to other people all that well. Plus, he had this amusing habit of running over the opposing team’s strong safeties. And sometimes, their linebackers.

    As a pro, he either makes it on his abilities, or not. It doesn’t matter how likeable he is. He is for damned sure not going to run over pro defenders like he did with some of the college dudes, unless he gains another 20lb or more of pure muscle.

    I personally like the guy. He’s admirable, affable, comfortable with himself; he’s got a fantastic work ethic. Not that I’m gay, or nothin’. But again, none of that really means he’ll be a good pro ballplayer at any position.

    No quarterback, though, no matter how talented, can make up for all deficiencies in the rest of the team.

  62. sdferr says:

    What Slart said. And at Florida he had an O-line most quarterbacks have never had.

    Plus, it’s hard to watch Tebow sit for years, but then it’s always hard to watch quarterbacks sit while they learn; the difference being Tebow has athletic talents most quarterbacks have never had, which talents only wane with time.

    Think Denver would take Romo in a straight up one for one trade?

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