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BREAKING: Obama speaks

Wants Congress to Pass the American Jobs Act bill. Right now.

I know this, because he’s said as much a dozen or so times.

What we’re witnessing here is the first postmodern, faculty-lounge Presidency taken to its inevitable and surreal end: a lazy imperialist President emerges from a weekend of NFL Sunday Ticket and demands Congress pass a bill that hasn’t yet been written, which he expects will be “fully paid for” for with money that hasn’t yet been printed, borrowed, or saved.

All that’s missing now is a stern, finger-wagging threat that, should Congress not act soon on his grand jobs plan, the President himself will simply go around them and sign an executive order demanding that millions of new jobs be created.

And he’ll get it done in time for a couple rounds of golf this weekend, too. Because that’s how it works. In theory, at least.

25 Replies to “BREAKING: Obama speaks”

  1. happyfeet says:

    maybe he’s autistic

  2. DarthLevin says:

    BREAKING: Obama Speaks

    BREAKING: Market falls 100 points/minute of Obamaspeak.

  3. Pablo says:

    Since when does Congress “just pass this bill”?

    Nigga, please.

  4. Pablo says:

    …President himself will simply go around them and sign an executive order demanding that millions of new jobs be created.

    Why doesn’t he just outlaw unemployment?

  5. geoffb says:

    A private sector example of the Obama-Krugman job created/saved method. The ones still running and not “creating/saving” jobs? Control group.

  6. sdferr says:

    Obamasomebody blabbling again? Funny, the bluejays are hollering in a big corvid hollerfest outside. Must be a hungry red-shoulder around. Unless it’s a deadly dangerkitty.

  7. Carin says:

    well, no wonder unemployment is still high. We haven’t passed it yet. HOnestly, WTF is wrong with those congressional republicans?

  8. DarthLevin says:

    1. Pass Bill

    2. ???

    3. Zero unemployment!

  9. JD says:

    We are well and truly fucked, as we are governed by a fucking idiot.

  10. Slartibartfast says:

    Bafflingly, the White House still appears not to have any actual Bill text to go through.

    Here is where you’d expect to find it, at a page called “American Jobs Act: Read All The Details”.

    The fact that the very first sentence on that page (“On Thursday September 8, President Obama presented the American Jobs Act in an address to Congress”) is an outright lie should help explain things.

  11. Squid says:

    The article geoffb links says that a beer truck overturned, but the photograph shows a truck full of Bud Light Lime. In similar fashion, my local paper described the Vikings as a professional football team.

    When will we be rid of this dishonest reporting?

  12. Slartibartfast says:

    Oh, and here‘s the sometimes-vigilant TPM talking about how today Obama sent the AJA (which was, admittedly, a kickass Steely Dan album) to Congress, without a link to the bill text, and without noting that there’s no bill text to link to.

    Or you could go to AmericanJobsAct.com and get pretty much the same overview-level stuff you’d find at whitehouse.gov.

    I’m sure that there’s a bill in there, somewhere. Obama’s only been tongue-lashing Congress to pass it for a few days, now.

  13. Mueller says:

    (In my best Ralph Cramden)
    A mere bag of shells my dear Norten.
    I want a boat with THREE propellers!!!

  14. geoffb says:

    Rush reported that Obama waved around a sheaf of paper at the presser saying he had the bill right there in his hand.

  15. Slartibartfast says:

    Rush reported that Obama waved around a sheaf of paper at the presser saying he had the bill right there in his hand.

    You know it cannot be the real thing unless it’s twice as thick as Atlas Shrugged.

  16. geoffb says:

    Wave a copy of “My Life” then?

  17. Slartibartfast says:

    Oh. See, you can see what utter horseshit that notion is. It’s at MOST 3/4″ thick.

  18. LBascom says:

    This just in: Bank of America to slash 30,000 workers.

  19. Stephanie says:

    According to ValJar Obama is personally writing the bill…

    Here’s to hoping they didn’t leave out the Elmer’s paste along with the crayons or we might have to endure President Biden.

  20. geoffb says:

    From Slart’s link:

    The new DNC ad campaign was to air beginning Monday in eight swing and early voting states, urging viewers to “Read it. Fight for it. … Pass the President’s Jobs Plan.”

    I thought that it was the common theme for the Democrats that ordinary folks could never actually be able to read legislation. Hell even Congressmen say they can’t, see Conyers, John.

  21. geoffb says:

    The White House detailed the specifics Monday on how the legislation would be paid for. It would rely on a series of tax hikes that have all previously been proposed by the White House and rejected by Republicans. They are:

    —$400 billion from limiting the itemized deductions for charitable contributions and other deductions that can be taken by individuals making over $200,000 a year and families making over $250,000;

    So making charities pay at least some of the $400 Large which hurts them but is okay as they compete with government largess handed out by well paid government union people anyways. – Win!

    —$40 billion from closing loopholes for oil and gas companies;

    Higher prices for energy – Win!

    —$18 billion from requiring fund managers to pay higher taxes on certain income;

    Higher expenses to have a 401K or IRA meaning even lower returns – Win!

    —$3 billion from changing the tax treatment of corporate jets.

    Lower profits, higher prices, lower efficiency in the private sector – Win!

    Got a real winner there, “Read it!, Fight for it! … Pass it!” Do it now for the children ….. who will have to pay for it.

  22. newrouter says:

    mittens takes on baracky’s union thugs. it has video of the giant rat too!

  23. DarthLevin says:

    geoffb – when Teh Won was waving around the stack of papers, did he claim there were exactly 57 Communists in the State Department? (not that he’d object, but…)

  24. pdbuttons says:

    mighty joe young was never as big as
    king kong but he was still a scary bastard

  25. Slartibartfast says:

    I think I’ve finally glimpsed the bill. 155 pages. It could happen.

    Haven’t read it yet, though. WHY HAVEN’T I PASSED IT, YET?

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