Here’s the thing most people don’t think about when they think about eternity: It lasts. A fucking. Eternity.
And as much as I don’t want to seem ungrateful for the digs, if all Heaven has to offer is 6 cable channels, every last one of them airing season 9 M*A*S*H re-runs 24/7, please, please, please give me an endless diet of Swanson Salisbury Steak frozen dinners and nighttime visits from the wretched barbed cock of Satan.
Please.
I was wondering what happened to Cory lately. He seems a bit unappreciative of his place. Perhaps they’ll cut back on a few of the re-runs in circulation.
I’m beginning to suspect Corey didn’t go to Heaven after all. That sounds more like Modesto, California, c. 1977.
…which, for the M*A*S*H reruns, was a hell of a trick. I never did figure out how they managed that.
Might have been the funny-looking mushrooms on the pizza I ordered that night.
OK, the MASH and barbed shlong o’ the Devil are right out….but why the H8 for Swanson’s Salisbury Steak?
Wait, maybe he is in purgatory, and the Swanson’s is the good part – the TV the bad…
What’s he griping about? He’s only served a bit over a year of his eternity.
Why choose six channels of reruns versus nightly TV dinners, when you can easily have both? I mean, that right there pretty much sums up the lives of most married guys in the mid-to-late 20th Century.
Today, we have many more channels showing endless reruns, and microwave pot pies. My, how far we’ve come!