No, seriously, follow me on this: It’s a fresh, exciting, new idea, this taxing the rich angle I’ve come up with, and I think we can sell it to The People. After all, the rich are like, rich and stuff, and that’s just not fair to those of us who aren’t. Rich. And stuff.
Everybody should be equally rich! Which, think about it: were that the case, snap! No poverty!
And while I’m at it, I suggest we invest more government money into, like, jobs and things. If the government buys us all jobs — and they can certainly print up all the investment money needed to do just that — we’ll all be able to purchase what we want, which in turn means more tax revenue to the government. So it’s a total win win.
We should all get houses and cars, too, so that we’ll all have to buy homeowners insurance and car insurance, and pay taxes to keep up the roads and neighborhoods, which means even more jobs! But that’s an idea for another day.
Honestly. I’m surprised no one has thought of this tax the rich / government invest in jobs thing before, it seems so simple.
And to think, all it took for me to come up with this can’t-miss plan was two pretty serious Arjan’s Haze #2 bong hits, a pack of Little Debbie peanut butter bars, and a nap.
(h/t Jim M)
We just need to change the definition of poverty and Voila! No more poverty!
I need a job at the Brookings Institute, one with a nice view. Not the loading dock (old office) or the drive way (temporary refugee camp office).
Symbolic. Says it all right there, doesn’t it?
and they can certainly print up all the investment money needed to do just that
If the gubmint can just print money, why does it need taxes?
“If the gubmint can just print money, why does it need taxes?”
Punishment.
Ha! Once again, having written a comment to post I find I’m beaten on the draw, this time by MikeyNTH. Nevertheless, I’ll post what I’d written, but not submitted, unchanged.
Little League.
Just confiscate all small businesses. Let Obama use his golden touch like he did with the solar industry. Get those stupid entrepreneurs on food stamps STAT!
Obama will turn the loaves and fishes into dinner for all of us!*
*when he’s not sticking his fingers in his buttcrack and then sniffing them.
Add a few “let me be clear”-s, a false dichotomy or two and call for the spirit of bi-partisanship and unity that we all felt on that
terribletragic day whose anniversary we’re in the shadow of to Jeff’s summary, and you’ve just approximated Obama’s address to a joint session of Congress on jobs.Comments from the linked article wouldn’t load. Was there one comment in particular, or are we making fun of the whole premise?
A nap? YOU got a NAP?
I haven’t had a nap in, like, DECADES. Oh the unfairness of it all.
We need to tax and re-distribute napping.
Clearly, it’s for the children.
Let me go back to the bong and grab another nap and I’ll see what I come up with.
But it will be some variation on “two, TWO mints in one!,” I can assure you.
Shit, I thought the whole damned country has been napping for the last 8 decades, and yet to wake up. Hate to have to start all over looking for an explanation again, but oh well.
My neighbor had a similar idea a few years back, when he was explaining to me the wonders of the progressive tax code. His idea was that the goverment should give everyone 1 MILLION DOLLARS, then we’d be able to buy things, which would spur the economy… things like houses, and cars … and we wouldn’t need to worry about privatizing Social Security, cause nobody would need the money, cause we’d all have enough to retire on, and …
I asked him, ‘doncha think that that house you want to buy that costs $275,000 today is probably gonna cost something like $1,275,000 after you get your 1 MILLION DOLLARS?
We haven’t spoken since.
Can’t say I miss the conversation.
I think this particular comment nicely sums up the thought process used by most of the Progressive Warriors there:
So blindingly stupid that it almost swings back into genius. But it doesn’t.
Via Intsy via Volokh to Heather McDonald, this looks like it belongs here.
13
Unintentional comedy genius.
Damn, Steph, your neighbors are even stupider than mine…
Well Jim, I live right outside of Philadelphia, where they Unionize Stupid.
I think this particular comment nicely sums up the thought process used by most of the Progressive Warriors there[.]
Jesus wept.
If “government spending DRIVES the economy”, then maybe one of those progressive jeeniuses can explain why, despite $4 trillion in deficit spending by the Obama and the Democrats over the last 3 years, the economy is worse off now than it was 4 years ago.
Other than “Bush Did It”.
I was in Horsham once, to change a print driver for a client–a little company called Prudential. This despite having told them over the phone at least a dozen times to change the *()*^% print driver. I never did figure out how they stay in business.
So I get what you’re saying.
Dave, it’s a good thing stupidity isn’t contagious. Otherwise we’d have to quarantine and burn you out too.
Y’know. Just to be sure.
There are a few over there with working brains after all…
Of course he gets immediately jumped on by several of the Progressive Special Needs Children. My favorite one:
I see. Higher taxes are just the price that comes with living in a country that allows you to get rich. Not because you worked hard or took chances, no, it’s because we as a country allowed you to do so. Time to pay up, bitch.
#21 I wore a condom the whole time I was on that site. Does that help?
OT: Happy Feet starts journey home
I was wondering why we were kind of light on the electric hamster screeds. Must have been busy packing.
As long as the rest of you was wearing a Level IV biohazard suit, sure.
One wonders why the country isn’t allowing everyone to get rich.
I think it has to do with racism, sexism, and some other -isms that somehow don’t impede the ones the country allows to get rich, though I’m not sure how that works, exactly.
Time to hit the bong and the Little Debbies again, I guess.
Meet the players.
National Nurses United an AFL-CIO [Trumka] affiliate, formed just a few months before Obamacare was passed, run by long time labor activist Rose Ann DeMoro who is also a Board Co-chair of Healthcare-NOW. And Rep. Barbara Lee who has been an progressive/socialist activist for some 40 years.
When the ravenous unions are through gorging themselves on the billionaires and millionaires, whom will they next eat?
Next? They’ve been eating the American middle and underclass for the last 40 years at least. Who’d be left?
Surely the last steps in the decline of a people involve establishing envy and theft — by other words, of course — as principles of governance.
No really; envy someone and steal his stuff. By way of your elected “leaders”. And consider yourself anything but a cheat and liar.
Fuck this country.
By the way, and this is likely to shock you, but GOP insiders favor Romney over Perry, supposedly for reasons of electability.
Can’t help but suspect a false flag operation in action when I see the name National Journal though.
I am all for taxing the wealthy, I think it is horrible that
poorold Warren Buffet don’t get to pay his fair share.What I propose is we slap a big old property tax on portfolios like Warrens, treat them just like real estate. Every year, tax the fuck out of them.
Think Warren would like that idea?
By the way, I just heard this, and I’m wondering if it’s true: a relatively new FAR regulation requires that government contracts go to companies whose board of directors (5 must be named) earn less than $300K in salary.
Marxism.
Well, the current policy is to keep redefining “poverty” so the population of the “poor” is ever-increasing, despite them living better than the middle class did a generation or two ago…
you could get real poverty going if the food stamp folks could only buy raw food.
you could get real poverty going if the food stamp folks could only buy raw food.
Make sure it’s local raw food and the term “subsistence-level” will get some long-overdue usage, dontcha think?
I believe it. Nothing says preserve the (progressive) status quo like Mitt Romney.
Unless it’s Huntsman.
I’m offering my fellow Americans a deal:
I wonder if I’ll get any takers.
Isn’t our definition of poverty the bottom 10% or so? And gubmint checks don’t count.
People don’t know how to be poor any more. It takes a lot more work to survive on your own when you have little money, but it’s do-able.
Then again, that was before having a vegetable garden was a crime.
“Fuck this country.”
You’re blowing sunshine up my ass.