Our Kerrypimping friend Oliver is at it again, this time dropping the mutton leg long enough to trumpet Ed Cone’s supposed smackdown of Glenn Reynolds. Only problem is, Ed was so darned eager to land the white whale that he forgot to read the complete Michelle Malkin post that prompted him to flutter his tiny harpoon Glenn’s way in the first place.
In Ed’s defense, scrolling all the way through an entire post can be hell on dainty wrists—and to his credit, Cone did update his entry to reflect the shoddiness of his initial scholarship. Writes Ed:
Now I get to admit an error and set it right: As noted in the comments below, Malkin appended an updated response to her post of September 8. Mea culpa.
Good for you, Ed. And Godspeed with that whole wrist thing.
Oliver, on the other hand…well, he hasn’t yet found the time to correct his post—Mondays being fondue night and all. But that’s okay. Take your time, Oliver. We’ll still be here when that last bit of molten cheese is scraped from the pot bottom and sent piggybacking down your gullet on the buttery shoulders of a tasty Townhouse cracker.
As Glenn himself says of Mr. Willis, “David Brock isn’t getting his money’s worth there.” To which protein wisdom responds:
Heh. Indeed.
I like fondue.
Who doesn’t? Or mutton. Or pecan pie, for that matter…
So, Oliver Willis gets paid to be an illogical fool? As to a correction, why would he correct something when, in his mind, he never makes mistakes? Can’t correct perfection, you know.
Mmmmm, pie. Apple pie. Chocolate ice cream…..
tiny harpoon.
hehehe…
i vote no on the mutton. yes on pecan pie. neutral on fondue only because i’ve never had it.
Damn, you are seriously harshing poor Oliver’s mellow!
One of the many things that annoy me about Willis is that he would take cheap shots at Reynolds given that Reynolds is a large part of the reason that anyone ever heard of the silly twit.
Gratitude must be one of those evil right-wing religious-extremist values.
Glenn has now apologized to Eric Muller in an update to his original post. And he was kind enough to post a link to it at the top of his page, so that even scroll-challenged people like me could find it.
Boy, Jeff, it’s not every day that I get to see an example of someone who’s already a one-note political hack so manifestly enamored of his own ability with words that he actually outdoes himself for pure pseudopoetic exhibitionism:
“when that last bit of molten cheese is scraped from the pot bottom and sent piggybacking down your gullet on the buttery shoulders of a tasty Townhouse cracker.”
Jesus Christ. Son, let me give you a quick bit of advice: you need to put down your copy of Human Events, turn off Fox News, slowly but carefully push yourself away from the keyboard, and go get laid. Run, don’t walk. Do not pass Go, do not collect your Dittohead cap. And if you never end up coming back, it will really be no great loss, either for you or, especially, anyone else.
yo, “bill o’reilly”… STFU. Willis started this fight, and Goldstein is ending it. It’s that simple.
harsh? personal? sure…but hey – Willis shouldn’t bring a knife to a gun fight. Oh, what’s that you say? The knife was a butter knife, and it was for the fondue? My bad…
I’m sorry Bill, would you mind repeating that? I had my dick in your wife’s ear and she was belting out the lyrics to “Greased Lightning.” Wild little filly you got here!
Bill, Bill, jealousy is a terrible thing.
And on the contrary, losing Jeff would be a TREMENDOUS loss to all of us who live to read one of his creative visuals..uhh.. like the one with your wife.
Now, NEVER take Bill O’Reilly’s name in vain AGAIN!!!! You lame licentious liberal!!
I had that molten cheese riff recorded in my log as reason 3376 to love Protein Wisdom about 1 nanosecond after I read it.
But that was only because I had my dick in your wife’s other ear at the time.
In case you’re wondering, Jeff and I are filming a remake of “Elevator Girls in Bondage.”
The bad news is she only makes the free-clips on the website entrance.
The good news is you’ll be able to make the next payment on your double-wide.
Hilarious, I could give two shits about Oliver Willis. I’m more interested in the fact that Jeff continuously makes such a point of trying to come off as a clever wordsmith while weaving his verbal attacks around such juvenile taunts. It’s the intellectual equivalent of chanting “Tubby tubby two-by-four” at the fat kid who’s walking to his locker, because he just upstaged you in class. Grow the fuck up, man. If Willis is being an asshole (which I don’t doubt), then call him on it, but ferchrissakes, the fat schtick gets old real fast, and his size has nothing whatsoever to do with his political views.
> but ferchrissakes, the fat schtick gets old real fast,
Nobody’s making you read this stuff, are they? I thought only us Protein Wisdom Syncophants actually have to read Jeff’s attempts at clever wordsmithing.
Shoot. If Jeff’s forcing people other than us True Believers to read his stuff, I’m outta here.
[I’m thinking of a really biting comeback, something that will really really make Jeff whimper. I’m hoping to introduce the idea of verisimilitude into my barb, but I want to do so in such a way that I’m able to play on the word. Something like very silly your ‘tude, only not quite so, y’know, obvious. Just give me a few minutes…]
Then go somewhere else, “ferchrissakes.”
I mean, why are you so interested in the fact that I “continuously makes such a point of trying to come off as a clever wordsmith while weaving” my “verbal attacks around such juvenile taunts”? Are you my agent? My guardian angel?
Newsflash: this ain’t a required class; all the reading is optional. Want something more intellectually challenging? Find a fucking library.
Again, for clarity: you are NOT—I repeat NOT—under any obligation to read my “schtick.” Move along. Somewhere, there’s a young poet churning out solemn works of art that no one will happen upon lest some earnest patron of the arts like you is able to save him from certain oblivion.
[Howsabout this: “Jeff, your pseudopoetic writing has no verisimilitude—only attitude that it very similar to”…er…oh, shit. Okay. Back to the drawing board.]
Bill’s using bad words isn’t he?
“Bill” lectures on people’s intellectual capabilities, then continues commenting despite my total control over the edit button.
Quite quixotic, this Bill character is. Tilting at windmills, his spittleflecked keyboard a flurry of angry letters joined, the corners of his mouth caked with the ghost of dried hatelather wiped away with a feeble and twitchy hand…
[…of course, I meant to waste my morning writing all these words that no one will ever see, because I just can’t get it through my head that I’m a raving tool whose commentary is not appreciated—elegant and thoughtful though it has been.]
[Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a load of whites that I need attend to…]
[They tell me hot water works best on whites.]
[Gee, I sure hope he’s not deleting these without reading all the way through them… That would really suck.]
Add to your checklist:
– get a single stone in the sack, to allow me to post using a real e-mail address
– ask mom to get that photograph of her, the donkey and the 90 wt gear lube off the desktop
– get a thesauraus added to MS Word 1 on our Tandy XT
By the way, Jeff… we’re putting new cover sheets on all our TPS reports. Did you get that memo?
Ummm, yeahhhhhhhhh. I’m gonna need you to go ahead and fuck off…
Ah, so you ARE reading them! HA!
I just read the all caps. And if that grabs my interest, I might read the rest.
Oliver Willis: Matthew Yglesias, without all the words
[Do these heels make my legs look fat?]
At first I thought I might be able to say something about how every time I think Oliver Willis might be someone to add to my ‘Down in Back’ section he does something too stupid to allow it, but then I got sucked into the strange world of the Bill O’Reilly doppleganger. He’s amusing, but only because he thinks we think he’s not.
[beans.]