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Military Shuffle

Bloomberg News:  “Bush to Shift 70,000 Troops to U.S. From Europe, Asia”:

President George W. Bush announced plans to bring home as many as 70,000 troops from Europe and Asia, about 30 percent of U.S. forces overseas, in the largest American military redeployment since the Korean War.

“Over the coming decade we’ll deploy a more agile and more flexible force,’’ Bush, 58, said in a speech to the Veterans of Foreign Wars in Cincinnati. The shift, under consideration for more than three years, will strengthen U.S. alliances, allow the military to respond more quickly to terrorist threats, and save money as bases are closed overseas, the president said.

Reached for comment, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) called the President’s proposal to remove troops from Germany “a callous blow to the fatherland,” though the controversial Senator admitted that he “doesn’t much care what happens with those Ko-reanized slanty eyes,” because “they eat dog flesh, anyway—the sneaky, ochre wastrels of the east.”

15 Replies to “Military Shuffle”

  1. That’s the second time today!

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Maybe you’re just in a giggly mood.

  3. ss says:

    **“Over the coming decade we’ll deploy a more agile and more flexible force,’’ Bush, 58, said in a speech…”**

    Now that’s good political journalism.

    However, unlike the real Bloomberg article and any good “local man” Onion article, your addendum failed to alert the reader to the age of your speaker.

    Hellooo? How can I make an informed decision about current events if I don’t know how old the President or Senator was when the statement was made?

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    You’re absolutely right.  Byrd is 87; his Kleagle hood is 55.  His dog Darkie is 9.

  5. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    That’s obviously a fake quote from the Senator.  I refuse to believe that the word “ochre” is in his vocabulary; of course, it could be how the word “yellow” sounds when filtered through a Klan hood.

  6. Velociman says:

    Silicon is right. I believe you misunderheard the Kleagle. “Ochre” is not in his vocabulary. He was pining for “Okra”, which his mammy used to fix him when he was a good little marse.

  7. All seventy thousand troups will be sent to Washington Courthouse, Ohio.

    Residents of Washington Courthouse… BEWARE!

  8. Peter says:

    Why is it that I’m wishing our troops would shoot their way out of Europe like they shot their way in?

  9. Peter, read “The Ten Thousand” by Harold Coyle.  It’ll cheer you up.

  10. tee bee says:

    “shot their way in.” so that’s how it went. sheesh.

    Paul might be more interested in “The Ten Thousand,” by Michael Curtis Ford. since we’re imagining history, and all.

  11. tee bee says:

    damn. that’s “Peter might be…” gotta lay off the crack. and the shrooms. and the glue. and maybe even the net. well, maybe the crack, shrooms, and glue.

  12. Well, tee bee, Ford novelized the actual account by Xenophon of the march of the Ten Thousand out of Persia ( and it was a fun read ), but Coyle borrows from the ancient tale and translates it into a US armored force fighting its way across a hostile modern Germany – hence the likelihood that Peter might prefer it.

  13. Ralf Goergens says:

    I googled that book, Robin:

    “Trapped in Eastern Europe by a united Germany with atomic weapons, an American army–led by Lieutenant General “Big Al” Malin–must fight its way to the safety of the Baltic Sea”

    http://books.fantasticfiction.co.uk/n4/n20329.htm?authorid=8950

    You know, making the take the scenic route back home sounds like a pretty good idea.  smile

  14. Ralf Goergens says:

    That should have been “making them take the scenic route back home”

  15. Robin Roberts says:

    Well, Ralf, you know those armored boys … they gotta get their fun where they can find it.

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