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Warriors, come out and playayyyy

In preparation for my NYC sojourn to cover the GOP convention, I’ve made a few minor cosmetic changes to help protesters identify me as a bonafide rightwinger deserving of their earnest, progressive scorn.  Because I wouldn’t want the Starbucks crowd aiming their water balloons and free-range chicken eggs at any innocent bystanders…

The difference is subtle, I know. But the nuanced crowd will be able to ferret me out, no doubt.

Oh.  And I’ll be wearing a coat made from the elderly and dragging a cluster of minority children around by a very heavy chain manacled to one of my boots.  So really—the puppetheads won’t be able to miss me. 

Bring it on.

18 Replies to “Warriors, come out and playayyyy”

  1. Ohmygod

    It’s ScreechHitler!

    OH, wait, mabye it’s…

    HorshackHitler!

    Do I need to add “cowboy” to those, or would that be overkill?

  2. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Well, I was going more for “70s Camp Counselor Chic” Hitler, but at least the Hitler part struck pay dirt.

    Here.  Enjoy.

  3. Beck says:

    Dude, everyone should own a hat like that.

  4. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Or two, in case the first one gets eaten by a horse.

  5. McClane says:

    BleuFauPax there.  It is:

    Bring. It. On.

  6. Da Goddess says:

    Hey, that’s a pretty spiffy shirt you have on, Jeff. Is that the clubbed baby seal one you told me about?

  7. JFH says:

    You’re looking good Warrior, real good… All the way back to Coney.

  8. Joe says:

    What’s with the bizarre yellow sunglasses ? Hunter Thompson would of course be proud, but you’re sending mixed signals to the moonbats if you use their self-identification cues. Be careful here, Jeff – you know they eat their own young. You might wanna swap those out for a nice pair of gatorz.

    Oh, and there’s some kinda big ugly bug on your hat …

  9. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    Wear your six-shooter, too.  If you don’t have one, Kim du Toit probably has an extra that he can lend you.

  10. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Those are shootin’ glasses, people.  And in a pinch, I can also pilot a plane or a helicopter in them.

    Also, in can infiltrate the moonbat swarm with no questions asked—as this picture from my past illustrates.

  11. Joe says:

    Reality changes quickly here, doesn’t it ? I resent being used as the fall guy in your petty feud with Evil Glenn, just because I made fun of your ”shades”. And furthermore … … damn, Jeff, is that lip gloss you’re wearing now ?

    I hope this isn’t some embarrassing McGreevey-style outing about to happen here.

  12. Kathleen says:

    You look eerily like the guy dressed in a combat outfit with the “Kerry for Communists” sign in SlantPoint’s photos of demonstrators. Hmmmmm……GOOD GOING!!!!!!!!

  13. Joe, I think we’d all agreed not to mention the lip gloss.

  14. Scott says:

    …way to go for it.

  15. El Jefe says:

    To complete the ensemble you need to open carry your .45 and have a Marlboro ‘dead red’ lit at all times.

  16. Sam Perkins says:

    You must be too young to remember the 70’s from real-time experience.  The hat you are wearing absolutely must have a snakeskin band with a large feather wedged in.  You can then call it macaroni if you want.

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