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protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 3

5:47 PM.  Westbound on 35th and Broadway, a group of white guys with dreadlocks spin lopsided urine balloons at police.  “What are you guys protesting?” I ask one of them, a skinny kid in his early twenties whom I slide up alongside.

     “Fuck off, narc,” he says, not looking at me.

     I flash him a peace sign.  “No war for petroleum-based latex products filled with liquid human waste,” I say—then I sucker punch him in his kidneys several times until he folds up like a broken beach chair, the filthy little pissflinger.

     A vodka gibson, I’m thinking.  Or maybe a dirty martini.  That’s what I’m in the mood for.

6:22 PM: Dirty martinis it is. 

****

update:  more protest coverage here.

update 2: I’ve been called an asshole by something named Spheric Harlot.  Which, there’s another thing I can cross off of my life’s to-do list…

13 Replies to “protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 3”

  1. Beck says:

    Good to see you’re keeping your temper under control.

  2. Tman says:

    ….doood…..you like totally busted that trustafarians hackey sack…….he’s gonna be PISSED…he had some good smoke though. Power to Coneticutt!

    I say we get back to the Village and do some car bombs..it’s early..

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Is that what that was?  I thought a Ben Affleck movie had just let out.

  4. SpoogeDemon says:

    Oh no, Barlow’s going to serve Dubya.

    I hope Dubya doesn’t serve him back, because then it’ll be on.

  5. Joey says:

    I hate motherfucking hippies. And I’ve met a lot of them. My hat’s off to you, sir.

  6. McGehee says:

    I’ll bet their mothers aren’t too fond of them either.

  7. Ed Driscoll says:

    A Dirty Martini? That was FDR’s favorite drink! Dude, you’re so bipartisan!

    (No, seriously, it was. Honest.)

  8. Mr. Bowen says:

    Man, the leftwits get dumber every moment, don’t they?  See Spheric Harlot, Exhibit A.

    Seriously, I know you’re joking, but if you DO manage to squeeze in a little hippy whacking during the convention, more power to you.  Just don’t get caught.

  9. McGehee says:

    And wash your hands afterward.

  10. mojo says:

    Spheric Harlot? Is that like a Fat Whore?

    You could try the old “I know you are, but what am I?” routine if you don’t have anything better to do than abuse fat whores, I guess.

Comments are closed.