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Usama bin plannin’

Bill Gertz, The Washington Times:  “U.S. intelligence officials say a high-profile political assassination, triggered by the public release of a new message from Osama bin Laden, will lead off the next major al Qaeda terrorist attack, The Washington Times has learned.

“The assassination plan is among new details of al Qaeda plots disclosed by U.S. officials familiar with intelligence reports who, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the killing could be carried out against a U.S. or foreign leader either in the United States or abroad.

“The officials mentioned Saudi Arabia and Yemen, two nations that are working with the United States in the battle against al Qaeda, as likely locales for the opening assassination.

“The planning for the attacks to follow involves ‘multiple targets in multiple venues’ across the United States, one official said.

“The new details of al Qaeda’s plans were found on a laptop computer belonging to arrested al Qaeda operative Muhammad Naeem Noor Khan of Pakistan.

“We’re talking about planning at the screwdriver level,” one official said. “It is very detailed.”

Khan was arrested July 13 in Lahore, Pakistan, along with Ahmed Khalfan Ghailani, a Tanzanian who was indicted in the 1998 U.S. Embassy bombings in Africa and was on the FBI’s list of most-wanted terrorists.

U.S. and allied counterterrorism officials are pursuing leads on other terrorists based on the data from Khan’s seized laptop. At least one arrest in Britain has been made so far, and others are expected, the officials said.

Additionally, U.S. intelligence officials said they think that several al Qaeda terrorists already in the United States are part of the plot, although their identities and locations are not known.

The targets, in addition to the financial institutions in New York, Washington and Newark, N.J., that have been the subject of public warnings, include such economic-related targets as oil and gas facilities with a view toward disrupting the November election.

“The goal of the next attack is twofold: to damage the U.S. economy and to undermine the U.S. election,” the official said. “The view of al Qaeda is ‘anybody but Bush.’”

The officials also said the terrorist group has begun using female members for preattack surveillance and possibly as suicide bombers, thinking that women will have an easier time getting past security checkpoints at airports, borders and ports.

The al Qaeda attack plans call for bombings using trucks and cars, and hijacked aircraft, including commercial airliners and helicopters.

“There is a particular concern that chemical trucks will be used,” one official said.

Speaking from a grassy knoll in Dallas, TX, Kerry cushion Oliver Willis unpacked a picnic lunch and questioned the timing of this information, noting that “the Bushies are obviously trying to divert attention away from the John Kerry Cambodia swift boat story, which makes Bush look…uh, no, wait.  That can’t be right…

“Well, they’re obviously trying to divert attention away from something.  Can I get back to you on this one…?”

Elsewhere, Joshua Micah Marshall did nine pushups, then enjoyed a well-deserved PowerBar.

update:  Oliver Willis clarifies his earlier statement:  “I’ve got it!  This story came from the Washington Times, right?  Moonies!  And right-wing wingnut Bushie Moonies, at that!  So, y’know—snap!”

correction:  Joshua Micah Marshall only managed 6 pushups, not the 9 previously reported.  protein wisdom regrets the error.  But in our defense, c’mon:  who can’t do 9 freakin’ pushups?

****

h/t McGehee

6 Replies to “Usama bin plannin’”

  1. Joe says:

    who can’t do 9 freakin’ pushups?

    1)Joshua Micah Marshall

    2)Michael Moore

    3)Ted Kennedy

    4)Oliver Willis

    5)Jerrold Nadler

    6)Barbara Boxer

    7)Hillary Clinton (due to an old Swift boat injury)

    Either with or without a PowerBar.

  2. McGehee says:

    Also me. But I can be the source for Protein Wisdom on a major news story. So, y’know, it all evens out.

  3. Beck says:

    To answer your question:  This guy.

  4. dario says:

    I’ll just toss in two more…

    Calista Flockhart and Tom Daschle.

  5. Yankee Zionist says:

    It’s pretty unreasonable to expect Oliver Willis to do 9 pushups. He’s a writer, dont’cha know!

  6. Kathy says:

    The real question is…did Oliver have pecan pie in his picnic basket?

    I’ll bet he did.

Comments are closed.