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Two odd things.

First, it’s odd when you look out of your office window during a sudden rainstorm and see a pair of wild turkeys galloping through your yard. That is, it’s odd if live in an area not traditionally associated with wild turkey foot traffic. As I do.

And second, it’s odd when, having blurted out your surprise at seeing a pair of wild turkeys galloping through your yard in a sudden rainstorm, your armadillo — in a flash frenzy (and still dressed in nothing but a pair of worn plaid boxers) — knocks over the small TV tray holding a half-eaten Swanson frozen dinner on his way out the door with your shotgun, a bottle of fancy ketchup, and a fistful of condoms.

Two odd things. Indeed.

34 Replies to “Two odd things.”

  1. JHoward says:

    He’s back.

  2. LBascom says:

    Sounds messy.

  3. A fine scotch says:

    I love the political posts because they express things I’ve been feeling but don’t know how to express.

    But, it’s posts like this one that keep me visiting three plus times per day.

    Thanks for the good laugh, Jeff.

  4. Bob Reed says:

    Sounds like kink to me.

  5. RTO Trainer says:

    There’s odd, and then there’s Army odd….

    Well. No. You’ve got me beat.

  6. Ernst Schreiber says:

    Sounds like kink to me.

    At least it’s safe and responsible kink.

  7. guinsPen says:

    Two odds?

    Two odds!

    Weeeee’re off to eat some gizzards…

  8. Blake says:

    The next big catch phrase: “What Would the Armadillo do?” Try it: WWTAD

    Then, when something bizarre happens, the wise will nod knowingly, and quietly say: “Ah, the armadillo.”

  9. geoffb says:

    Don’t eat the stuffing, you’ll know where it’s been.

  10. Carin says:

    Eh. Alert me when you see a deer run by.

    I’m jaded.

  11. motionview says:

    Any particular order for using those accoutrements?

  12. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    There were two other turkeys way off coming from the opposite direction galloping at a different speed.

    The Armadillo goes bezerker if it recognizes a word/ math problem.

    Swanson’s meatballs be damned.

  13. serr8d says:

    First time I’ve smiled all week. Well, no, but this is a carrying sort of smile, should last until Friday.

    Can I get fries with that? )

  14. Hadlowe says:

    Dear god, man. Do you even know how hard it is to get nose-filtered Diet Coke out of a laptop keyboard? You could warn a fellow before posting stuff like that.

  15. Darleen says:

    good lord, he couldn’t just take the regular, every-day ketchup, could he?

  16. LBascom says:

    Speaking of odd things…

    Feminists had tried to reform language long before Swift and her fellow word scolds arrived on the scene. In 1949, feminist icon Simone de Beauvoir charged that language was “inherited from a masculine society and contains many male prejudices.” She advised that “women have to steal the instrument” and “use it for their own good.”

    Steal language? Why, who ever heard such a silly thing?!

  17. newrouter says:

    “galloping ”

    so it wasn’t reid and pelosi

  18. Swen says:

    Ketchup? Now that’s kinky….

  19. Sears Poncho says:

    in a flash frenzy (and still dressed in nothing but a pair of worn plaid boxers) — knocks over the small TV tray holding a half-eaten Swanson frozen dinner on his way out the door with your shotgun, a bottle of fancy ketchup, and a fistful of condoms.

    It’s funny, but this is the exact same reaction I have when I see Wild Turkey, which is partly why I switched to Woodford Reserve.

  20. Joe says:

    I like the Wild Turkey that does not run away (except into a glass).

  21. Now THAT’S a mind picture that won’t be going away soon.

    …And that’s a very good thing…;-)

  22. McGehee says:

    The last time I remarked on seeing something out my window it was only heard by an unwell sparrow.

    You would not believe how much stuff can come out of such a little tiny bird.

    On the bright side, I don’t need to worry about phosphate-free detergents for, like, ever.

  23. serr8d says:

    Rare color photos of our American Great Depression, just released by the Library of Congress, displayed at the Dailymail.co.uk of all places. Not pathetic photos, but more showing of that American inner strength we’re missing today.

    (The one taken in St. Johns, Arizona is especially poignant, at least to me.)

  24. serr8d says:

    Well, damn. Linky.

  25. newrouter says:

    “Rare color photos of our American Great Depression,”

    ww ii propaganda photos i think look at the date 194x

  26. serr8d says:

    We were still in the Great Depression during WWII, nr. Without which, we might still be in the thing.

    I was raised by my grandparents who lived through all of that. The shell shock of it all, unforgettable to them, sort of wore off on me just a bit.

  27. newrouter says:

    “We were still in the Great Depression during WWII, nr.”

    my reading of “the forgotten man” by a. shales says that fdr rescinded alot of the regs. going into ’40 knowing war was on the near horizon. fdr in ’39-’40, with wilke making in roads, started to make peace with usa biz. the start of ww ii was the end of the depression. need unemployed men: draft them.

  28. LTC John says:

    Woah…. God help those turkeys. Unless they are ito what the ‘dillo is bringing (or brought, by this point in time).

  29. guinsPen says:

    Lyvette du Beauvoir

    W: Hey, June, where’s the Beaver?

    J: Right here, Ward.

  30. JimK says:

    That was funny! The only non-funny thing about the turkeys and the deer are the deer ticks. Bastards!

  31. agile_dog says:

    on his way out the door with your shotgun, a bottle of fancy ketchup, and a fistful of condoms

    He forgot the wood-handled feather duster.

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