13 Replies to “Film reviews in 5 words or less, #11”

1. Stephen Green says:

   July 16, 2004 at 7:11 pm

   It should come as no surprise that Asimov doesn’t have a writing credit on the movie.

   First Starship Troopers, now I, Robot.  Is nothing sacred?

2. PatrickH says:

   July 16, 2004 at 7:15 pm

   How many RPM’s?

3. charles austin says:

   July 16, 2004 at 7:55 pm

   Everything’s gone to Hell in a handbasket since the Mule threw off the Seldon Plan.

4. Steve Gigl says:

   July 16, 2004 at 8:43 pm

   We all knew this would happen, though, right?  I take some solace in the fact that some kids are going to buy the movie-cover version of “I, Robot” and be more than a little surprised.

5. Russ says:

   July 16, 2004 at 9:49 pm

   No, Stephen.  Nothing.

   Hell, I’m surprised they didn’t get Verhoeven to direct I, Robot.

   Or Alan Smithee.

6. erp says:

   July 17, 2004 at 3:21 am

   Maybe some of the kids who see the film will want to read the book.  I think Asimov was 19 when it was published.  How long before books go into the public domain?  Anybody know?

7. Lileks says:

   July 17, 2004 at 5:23 am

   From the trailers I deduce it is a movie that has Bjorkbots who do *not* make out with other Bjorkbots. Meh. Rental.

   And it has that cool shiny blue-white shine that “Minority Report” had. Remember that one? The cops had “sick sticks” to incapacitate criminals. You shoved a sick stick in their solar plexus, and they barfed up three quarts of Taco Bell and hydrocholoric acid all over your uniform. (I expected, with no small amount of fear, that the jet-pack cops would also deploy their Crap Rods, which made criminals suffer eruptive sphincter failure as well.) Sorry: in the future, cops will be cops, and hence disinclined to suffer semi-digested foodstuffs splashed all over their work clothes. In the year 2929 they will *still* get out the flashlights and work the kidneys.

8. Toren says:

   July 17, 2004 at 5:25 am

   How many RPMs?
   
   Let’s just say…Cherenkov radiation.

9. Timmer says:

   July 17, 2004 at 3:33 pm

   And we all expected what?  A series of smart movies actually based on the book?  Out of Hollywood?  Hell, half of America is going to think that they stole the positronic brain idea from ST TNG.

   It was fun, my 8 year old thought it was “Suweeeeet.” and hey…maybe some kid with a brain might actually pick up the book after he sees the movie.

10. Paul Zrimsek says:

    July 17, 2004 at 6:31 pm

    I wasn’t expecting much, but I was sort of hoping that they’d dug the old Harlan Ellison screenplay out of legal limbo. What I really wasn’t expecting was them having a goddam MODEL playing Dr. Susan Calvin. This one goes in the Fahrenheit 9/11 category: I’m planning to wait for the DVD and then avoid that too.

11. David Crawford says:

    July 18, 2004 at 5:35 pm

    Hey, it has Wil Smith in it.  That’s a pretty good indicater that no actor with any real talent wanted to touch this crap-fest.  Any movie starring Wil Smith may as well have a big sign flashing the message “Total Hollywood Crap”. 

    (I’m just amazed they didn’t write in a part for Martin Lawrence.  Maybe as the completely unfunny robot crack-head—he has two out three of those nailed already.)

12. Timmer says:

    July 18, 2004 at 11:18 pm

    Ya know, I just finished re-reading the book about a week ago and was wondering to myself:  “How the hell are they going to put this on screen?  It’s a great book, but there’s no story here for a summer blockbuster.” Asimov is brain food not eye candy.  Both would be nice…but would it sell?  I don’t know.

13. Brent Michael Krupp says:

    July 19, 2004 at 1:59 am

    I’ll give you the review in exactly 2 words (stolen from some other site, which I can’t recall):

    Asimov, Raped

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