Well. Now that the $27 million reward I was counting on is off the table, it’s back to my original mode of financing.
A shame, too. I was hoping to use the bounty to finance an off-Broadway production of “Prayer of the Rollerboys,” as well as to commission a 50′ Corey Haim sculpture — tentatively titled, “Corey Befriends a Stray Border Collie and Feeds it Peyote, then He and Seth Green Laugh While The Poor Thing Tries to Round Up About a Half-Dozen Traffic Cones” — both of which projects have been haunting my dreams for years.
Oh well. They’ll keep.
Thursday update: Thanks to all who’ve contributed. I’m a little less than half-way home for the month.
Don’t make me order the bean burritos again. Daddy wants ground beef!
*****
Monday update: Final day today. Thanks to all who’ve contributed and to those readers who continue to keep this site of dastardly rhetorical Visigothery alive and mace-swinging.
Also.
Thanks, SDN!
It seems like just last month… .
Oh. Never mind.
I tried my FatGripz for the first time today. The handles on the weights at my gym are a little larger than normal, and with the grips they are huge. When I got home I could barely pick up anything.
King of the World
“Hello one and all
Was it you I used to know
Can’t you hear me call
On this old ham radio
All I got to say
I’m alive and feeling fine
If you come my way
You can share my poison wine
CHORUS:
No marigolds in the promised land
There’s a hole in the ground
Where they used to grow
Any man left on the Rio Grande
Is the king of the world
As far as I know
I don’t want your bread
I don’t need your helping hand
I can’t be no savage
I can’t be no highwayman
Show me where you are
You and I will spend this day
Driving in my car
Through the ruins of Santa Fe”
lit question?
“I don’t want your bread
I don’t need your helping hand
I can’t be no savage
I can’t be no highwayman
Show me where you are
You and I will spend this day
Driving in my car
Through the ruins of Santa Fe””
be two voices talkin’ one bein’ statism? 70’s suck except that it pointed to this cluster: fok news yo go keith obersumthing
Thanks, John B, cranky-d, geoffb, and Charles W!
I’d pay to see THAT show!
Oh…
Fuck you!! Jeff Goldblum!!!
Oh. Wait.
stien, Goldstien.
Nevermind.
Thanks, Mueller!
Jeff Goldblum smacked Igby. I have a hard time forgiving him for that. Until I remember he saved us all from the return of the dinosaurs. And space aliens. And flies.
I’ll send something off this week Jeff. My evil rich employer finally won a bid, so we’ll be working again soon! WOO-HOO!
“Until I remember he saved us all from the return of the dinosaurs. “
Actually, I believe Goldblum turned to dinosaur shit shocking early in the first movie. You’re right about those Aliens though. I wish they would bring that character back, see if he can figure out how to stop the Mexican invasion.
The Fly thing was just icky.
Thanks, John H and some other dude!
Thanks, zoyclem!
Thanks, bh!
Thanks, phaedras!
Im a reptilian alien guy myself. Love tokens enroute.
I’m a bit short already this month (thanks graduation committee for putting shit in the grad package that we don’t need or want and pricing it out at $200 – a sign Really? just to get a lousy gown). Next month will make amends.
I’m a penguin impersonator.
Thanks, guins!
Thanks, TerryH!
Thanks, di!
Jeff,
It was a plaeasure.
Usually I can spell…pleasure!
I could have sworn last time I dropped a few bucks in, I did it through Amazon, but now I don’t see a link there. Ideas?
An excellent headline. I got a good chuckle out of that.
Thanks, Sarah R!
Sears —
Amazon doesn’t offer that service anymore, sorry.
I use a credit card through Paypal, Sears. Haven’t had a problem with it.
Thanks, Kevin B!
Done and done. Couple of sawbucks to the man with the blog.
Jeff Goldblum is the devil though at times he looks anything but.
Thanks, Evan C!
[…] at Conservative Hideout understands.Speaking of the evil patriarchal conspiracy (and tip jars): Protein Wisdom is having a May fund-raiser, and Jimmie Bise Jr. at Sundries Shack is raising money for his podcast, The Delivery. And I think […]
Thanks, Lillian!
Thanks, serr8d!
Thanks, Daniel!
Thanks, JD!
Thanks, Pablo and McGehee!
Crap Jeff. Sorry about the “Froggy” thing in that other post. You’d covered it like that dead hooker in that abandoned lot that (one, just one) time. Don’t get to read/lurk as much as I used to so I miss some stuff.
This fucking economy. And then taxes. I needed the extension. Because I’m going to buy a Chevy Volt, duct tape my Obama voting CPA’s hands to the steering wheel, cut off his fingers one by one til he finds more deductions (a’la Denzel in Man on Fire), explain the Volt doesn’t have a cigarette lighter (cuz Gaia would cry) to cauterize the stubs, and then push the car over a cliff with him in it and then collect on the auto insurance from that awful whore “Flo” at Progressive.
Ok. I feel better just typing that.
Anyway. I’ll hit the tip jar.
Thanks for all the fish.
Thanks, LMC and Lamontyoubigdummy!
By the way, Flo? Likes it in the can.
Oh. And 42.
It’s so sad when right-wingers try to be funny.
It’s so pathetic when left-wing, anonymous internet supermen, have so little a meatworld existence that they feel the need to troll comment threads just to get someone to pay attention to them…
Q: Why did davemartin987 cross the road?
A: I told him to. After I made him my bitch.
Q: How many davemartin987s does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Lightbulbs are a right wing conspiracy to enrich Big Luminescence and poison the Great Mother Earth with their coiled venom of death. So davemartin987 uses candles. Made from soy. Racists.
Q: What do you get when you cross davemartin987 with a basement “apartment,” anime DVDs, Thor comics, and his mother.
A: Reality.
It’s so sad when right-wingers try to be funny.
Uh…not too many “right wingers” round here (wrong crowd, first time here, etc), but Ok.
You do it dave.
You be funny.
Not laugh at you, but with you kinda funny (the former kinda thing is getting really, really boring).
Betch’a can’t but go ahead. Knock us out.
Simple snark or drawn out.
Swing for the fence.
We’ll wait.
You call this “trying?” This is the funny we can make in our sleep. If we were trying to be funny your brains, such as they are, would be steaming out of your eye sockets while you twitch and drool on the ground.
Which, from your point of view, would be kind of sad I guess.
Lol McGehee right-wing funny like the Fox New’s comedy disaster, “The 1/2 Hour News Hour” which was mercy killed after 15 episodes and had to be laugh-tracked to let the audience in on the joke?
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart has what, over 2,000+ hilarious left-wing episodes so far.
Right-wing funny… Dennis Miller, America’s most unfunny funnyman and “An American Carol” with a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 13% percent.
And is even a right-wing comedian who’s not a redneck?
That’s the thing about the right-wing… the an actual sense of humor part of the brain is gone and has been replace with an overwhelming sense of self-importance.
Fortunately I have a whole drawer full of irony meters for when guys like you say things like that.
Trailer trash rednecks are the revoltingest of suck.
But I stand for the working man! I am a champion of the downtrodden. I love me the salt of earth! WORKERS OF THE WORLD UNITE!
….
….
KABOOM!
Btw, I truly belive that right-wingers being hardwired without a sense of humor is not your fault, you were born that way like being gay.
Saw that coming.
I truly “belive” you haven’t yet figured out how out of your depth you are. But stick around. We’ll learn you.
Speaking of “hardwire,” it’s probably just a coincidence, but that’s the name davemartin987 gave to his dick when he was trying to convince the fat chick from the coffee shop he’d gotten drunk on red wine and cake that “it’s not the size of the tool, it’s the way you use it.”
She giggled, but not for the reason he told himself.
Well, there you go folks; classical liberalism is dead, ‘cuz Jon Stewart has 2000+ “hilarious left wing” episodes in the can…
You know what’s hilarious? The results of President Obama’s SMART! POWER! foreign policy.
Ghaddafi surrender yet? Assad step down? Are the Pakis whipped into line yet?
Have we even got the part of our stealth helo back from the raid last Sunday? Is O! going to make a “gutsy” demand that they give it back? Or is Pakistan like a library branch, and ObaMao’s lent the tailboom to the Chicoms, who he idolized, to just study for a while?
Hilarious…
You know what’s also hilarious? That pinheads like yourself look down your noses at the very same decent regular working folks who’s cause you insist your championing!
Well, they’re regular decent working folks as long as they reverently acknowledge that you know what’s best for them, and, you know, vote in their economic interests; and your’s too coincidentally! It’s like magic.
And if they don’t? Then there just another cousin-fucking, Bible-thumping, shotgun-pumping, outhouse-dumping, chillbilly redneck from flyover country, who is obviously a racist for not innately sensing Obama’s Benevolence!, Brilliance!, Superior Temperment!, and Sagacious Judgement!; but, you know, in your magnaminity you’ll cut ’em some slack and console them since they may be unconscious racists…
Hilarious…That folks like yourself and President Gutsy McKick-ass think you’re always the most smartest guys in the room, and don’t realize that everyone’s laughing up their sleeves at you since the only successes realized since the Obama came to Earth are the Bush policies he’s been forced to continue.
Ha!
Thanks, Patrick!
Look!
He actually tried!!!
Lmao.
Good on you Mr. Dave. And here we thought you were a drive by.
Would I be “spiking the football” to point out that your Prophet (Jon Stewart) crucified your messiah in his opening thingamajig the other night?
How ’bout Condi Rice being all smiling and polite while making Larry O’Donnel sniff his own taint during an interview?
And your so on the ball with stuff that happened in 2006. My goodness.
Indeed the 1/2 Hour News Hour was a disaster. But it ended graceful.
But then, Ooops. Wanna explain the off the chart ratings of Red Eye? A show that airs at 2 in the fucking morning?
No?
Hey, how’s Air America working out for you? Still trying to find it on the dial?
We do have a sense of humor dave.
Trust me.
We belly-laugh at you and your like-minded dumb asses every day.
It’s a common sense thing. You wouldn’t get it.
I have little doubt Davey will be back with a more overt round of gay-bashing. And maybe a clever little put-down of Herman Cain because he’s <whispering> black. </whispering>
That’s a koan, right?
Look, just because you figured out how to make a vaguely clapping noise with one hand…
Not funny, huh?
Senator Al Franken.
I slay me.
Dave brings the funny to life. Really.
OK, that’s hilarious. Not intentionally, but still.
So I wonder what brings ol’ Dave here? A lefty link perhaps?
Wait… what?
Did that actually happen?
Dave?
Davemartin is a parody of a satire of a caricature, presented as both a comedy and a tragedy.
Fundraiser threads inevitably makes moon bats go more bugfucknutz than normal. They cannot imagine money being transacted without government force.
But mostly a tragedy JD, that happens to be a comedy to us because it’s so ridiculous…
I said he brought the funny.
I am still laughing. At you, dsvemartin. At you. Not with you. At you.
I am also laughing at the civil disobedience protest arrest. Beautiful.
“Right-wing funny… Dennis Miller, America’s most unfunny funnyman…”
If that marriage were any more about convenience they’d have to install a slim jim rack and a slurpee machine at the foot of the bed!
Dennis Miller (speaking about the Clintons)
link
Beer funds on their way, Jeff!
Hey newrouter, how do we bump Jeff into the Top 100?
Burrito fund, I should say. Del Taco has a yummy new shredded beef burrito. It may not be Tito’s Tacos in Culver City, but hey, nothing else is…
how do we bump Jeff into the Top 100?
I keep preaching “chintz curtains around here might help” at him, but he never listens.
But also yet again, funny trolls would be a definite improvement.
Untedious ones, even better.
Thanks, Jim W!
Thanks, Randy W!
Thanks, Thomas D!
Thanks, Jonah!
Bob, I am sooooo stealing that.
#84
Gutsy move.
Thanks, Stephanie and Weslee!
Visigoths?
Hey, what about us eVandals? Don’t we get any credit?
eVandals?
Is that the mascot for the University of Idaho’s online degree program?
Thanks, Ella!
Thanks, Squid!