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John Kerry courts the southern vote

winch salesman: “…Now this’n here’s a Warn electric, the best you can buy, in my opinion—spring-loaded control switches, 4 Solenoids for emergency back up, Planetary gears, 12’ remote, color-coded cables… You’ll get a really smooth line pull with this particular model, which uses a 4 Roller Fairlead and comes complete with 125’ of cable –”

Kerry: “– Yeah yeah yeah, cables, roller thingies, whatever.  What I need to know is, does it come in red white and blue?”

winch salesman: “Well, I suppose you can have somebody paint it –”

Kerry: “– Come to think of it, maybe I should just buy one of those ‘Dukes of Hazard’ cars instead.  Rednecks really love that show.  Tell me, is there, like, a store for those, do you know…?”

7 Replies to “John Kerry courts the southern vote”

  1. Beck says:

    No self respecting four wheel drive vehicle should be without a winch.  After all, much as you never know when you might have to throw it into 4-wheel low to rescue some poor stranded little old lady from the middle of a muddy field, you never know when you’re going to need to drag an unexpectedly discovered tree from the middle of the road.

  2. Attila Girl says:

    I’m almost positive it’s a Warne winch, with an “e.” But I’m too lazy to go Googling around to find out for sure.

  3. Jeff Goldstein says:

    Nope.

  4. Trevor says:

    I actually own a Warn winch (for my ATV,) and Kerry still won’t get my vote!

  5. David Crawford says:

    Kerry: “Winch?  WINCH???  Sir, how dare you insult my wife.  I will have my staisfaction.  Pistols at dawn, sir, and ensure you have a second present.”

  6. Attila Girl says:

    That’s why copy editors look everything up–even the shit we think we know.

  7. No self respecting four wheel drive vehicle should be without a winch.

    It’s all a giant misunderstanding.  Actually, the original quote was:

    No self respecting four wheel drive vehicle should be without a wench.

    It’s been great for the winch industry, though.

Comments are closed.