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…And from the shell, I can make, like, gallons and gallons of soup!

Careful readers will find some surprising candor about Michael Moore’s Fahrenheit 911 tucked into this refreshingly honest USA TODAY story.

It’s about time, too. Read it. Trust me.

****
update: Michael Moore sure must like cheeseburgers.*

26 Replies to “…And from the shell, I can make, like, gallons and gallons of soup!”

  1. Tom says:

    mmmm, deep fried mink.

    Got your lawyers ready Jeff?

  2. BH says:

    Excellent!

    As for lawyers, it was pretty obviously satire from the start.

  3. Dawn W says:

    I smell Pulitzer…or are those fresh Krispy Kremes?

  4. Tom says:

    BH

    oh right . . . I forgot it’s only to the NY Times that such satire isn’t obvious.

  5. Average Joe says:

    A Krispy Kremey review.

  6. sonofnixon says:

    “actual documentaries” — priceless

  7. Joe says:

    Thanks, Jeff. I needed that. I can’t believe so many of our fellow citizens would pay to see that tripe. Guess PT Barnum was right.

    Hey, who ate all the donuts again … AJ ?

  8. Joe says:

    Unless, of course, it was David Hannum. Then he was right.

  9. allintern says:

    Odds you get a gift basket this holiday season from Michael Moore or USA Today, nil.

    Odds of cease and desist orders from either of the above, slightly higher. 

    Odds of getting many, many free libations from anyone in their right mind who happens to meet you betwixt now and the time of the great “open bar in the sky”, 100%.

  10. Gordon says:

    I don’t know exactly where it hit me that this was a parody. Simply outstanding!

  11. V says:

    A thoughtful critique worthy of Judith Jesus H. Crist.

  12. ibejo says:

    I think I just pissed myself.  Excellent!

  13. Boatpeople says:

    Ahoy!  We hear you know of a commodious ass crack my crew can rent.  Anything to get in out of this rain.  Can we get GPS coordinates, please? 

    Much obliged, running dog lackey.

    Lee Ngyen

  14. jborel says:

    I think I just pissed on my keyboard.

  15. Jeff,

    I loved it.  I figured something was horribly wrong by the second paragraph but read it all.  Just when it was giving me faith in humanity I saw the protein wisdom by-line at the bottom.  You had me going.  Checking the URL might have helped.

    FWIW, I will be seeing Moore’s swill when it comes out on DVD.  I traditionally buy DVDs—even if I think they will suck—but for Moore I will only rent.

  16. Correctd email address now saved.

  17. Captain Hooknose says:

    That was splendifferous.  Sounds a lot more upbeat than the cranky sad sack that is Michael Moore.  Say, when is old Moore going to give an interview already?  I’d like to see Moore grow a set of balls and go on Rush’s show.

  18. Patton says:

    Hmmm… I’m more credulous tonight than normal. I knew something was odd by the time I saw the “which we really know isn’t”, but like several earlier commenters, didn’t check the URL.

    The “tiny little boner” tipped it for me.  Finally.  I really need to get more sleep, the better to be aware of my surroundings.

    Excellent work, as always.  Yours, not mine.

  19. Sovereign Eye says:

    Hey, Jeff.  From Dale’s mouth, to Eschaton’s blog, to your waxed filled ears.  Enjoy.

    ……………………

    Verbatim from Chris Myers (Fox Sports announcer) on today’s race at Pomona pre-race program..

    “You think you know Dale Earnhardt Jr.? He advised his crew to go see the Michael Moore movie Farenheit 911. He said hey, it’ll be a good bonding experience no matter what your political belief. It’s a good thing as an American to go see… and it just shows you that Dale Earnhardt Jr. can reach far beyond the steering wheel.”

  20. Simon says:

    Excellent stuff.  If only “real” reviews were this good they’d make papers worth reading again.

  21. Jeff G says:

    Sovereign Eye—I’m not sure I understand your point.  Elaborate?

  22. You can’t do that.  Boy, are you gonna get sued!

  23. Silicon Valley Jim says:

    I don’t know how long it took you to put it together, but it was worth it.

  24. SS says:

    Jeff-

    I think Sovereign Eye was trying to say is this: “Whatever you want to say about Dale Earnhardt Jr, his boner is anything but tiny and little.” Maybe ?

  25. imran says:

    testing the system

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