Overheard at Camp Delta, Guantanamo Bay, Cuba:

Enemy Combatant 1: “…I dunno, perhaps I’ll sit in the sun and read the new Mad Magazine. This “Spy vs. Spy” — I like it very much. Or else I’ll take a nap before prayers, then maybe play some volleyball. You…?”

Enemy Combatant 2: “– Where are my Skittles™, brother? I left them right here on my nightstand and now they’re gone. Some pig has stolen my glorious fruit-flavored candies –“

Enemy Combatant 1: ” — Relax, they’ll turn up. Peace be upon you brother, have a Twinkee™, instead. The delicious creme filling is lighter than air and sweeter than a thousand figs –“

Enemy Combatant 2: “I am not interested in your golden sponge cake –“

Enemy Combatant 1: “–but it is far more delectable than your bite-sized fruit candies –“

Enemy Combatant 2: ” — Wait, it was you, wasn’t it! — it was you who ate my Skittles™! And don’t lie to me, brother, or so help me I’ll slice you open like a goat and enjoy your entrails with some pita bread and olives, praise be to Allah.”