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the "pease porridge hot, reimagined for 2010" post

Pease porridge hot,
Pease porridge cold,
Pease porridge in a pot,
To be distributed fairly,
with those whose ancestors
we determine were victims
of institutional discrimination
to receive what’s in the pot,
and those whose ancestors
were determined to be
the discriminators left
to scrub the pot and
refill it in perpetuity.
Because of the racism/
sexism/ homophobia/
xenophobia/jingoism/
chauvenism, et al.

146 Replies to “the "pease porridge hot, reimagined for 2010" post”

  1. happyfeet says:

    hah do you remember this?

  2. Pablo says:

    Damn. Can’t a brother get some bacon and eggs around here?

  3. dicentra says:

    Wait until the corn harvest is nice and big. Really big. Big enough to feed everyone.

    Then grind the corn into meal and divvy it up equally among everyone.

    Most especially don’t let the filthy capitalists think that they ought to have themselves some seed corn to bury in the ground so as to take corn meal out of the mouths of babes.

  4. pdbuttons says:

    to bob a knob
    is a job
    but as you leave
    the slamming of the door echoes
    painfully

  5. pdbuttons says:

    fritos are corn
    corn is fritos!

  6. newrouter says:

    i don’t think the reset button isn’t working

    Iranian Parliament Speaker Ali Larijani on Monday strongly criticized US President Barack Obama for his unmet pledges, and described the US administration as “an administration of lies”.

    link

  7. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    Screw the hoarding ants.
    Feed the profligate grasshoppers.
    Aesop weeps.

  8. pdbuttons says:

    how now
    brown cow?

  9. cranky-d says:

    how now
    brown cow flop?

  10. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    C’mon now, let’s leave the First Lady out of this.

  11. pdbuttons says:

    the rain falls mainly on the plains
    in spain
    or east france

  12. LTC John says:

    But I don’t even like pease porridge. Can I just write a large check to the DNCC to get an exemption?

  13. cranky-d says:

    You’ll take what they give you and you’ll like it, LTC. They know what’s best for all of us.

  14. DarthRove says:

    I’m living some of this now, as my brother-in-law redistributed some of my wealth to himself. Mrs. Darth and I gave him checks for doing some yard work for us, and he changed the amounts on the checks. He’s into us for $1000 that I’ve found.

    His victim class is “I got fired because I don’t want to work and thus I still don’t have a job but Mom and Dad let me live at home and take the truck and give me beer money.”

    My oppressor class is “He’s got money and I want some.”

  15. pdbuttons says:

    pease porridge is a dickens name
    like nicholas nickleby
    just sayin

  16. pdbuttons says:

    or joan crawford

  17. pdbuttons says:

    or bobby orr

  18. pdbuttons says:

    or estados unitos

  19. cranky-d says:

    Well, Darth, you could always send him to prison. They have free meals there, too.

  20. DarthRove says:

    cranky, I’ve filed the fraud report with the bank and I have a police report. But because Mrs. Darth signed most of the checks, she has to file a written statement to press charges (from our side…the bank may decide to file charges on their own account). I can certainly understand that she’s having a difficult time coming to grips with sending her brother to jail. Hasn’t been a happy weekend in my house, let me tell you.

  21. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – One of these fine days when the Lefturd freeloaders go to the pot for more and it’s bare, then they’ll start bitching about all those lazy American taxpayers.

    – I will enjoy their pain.

  22. cranky-d says:

    That is not a situation I would like to find myself in, Darth, that’s for sure.

  23. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Must be a really miserable situation for you Darth.

    – The thing you have to love about relatives who make their living at freeloading is, you’re always the bad guy for even bringing it up.

    – Something like pointing out hf’s misplaced attacks on anything on the right.

  24. B Moe says:

    Comment by pdbuttons on 7/26 @ 11:28 am

    the rain falls mainly on the plains
    in spain
    or east france

    That’s my new favorite poem.

  25. TaiChiWawa says:

    the unmelting pot

  26. To be distributed fairly,
    with those whose ancestors
    we determine were victims
    of institutional discrimination
    to receive what’s in the pot,
    and those whose ancestors
    were determined to be
    the discriminators left
    to scrub the pot and
    refill it in perpetuity.

    …and those that do the determining get the hambone.

  27. BJTexs says:

    Because of the racism/
    sexism/ homophobia/
    xenophobia/jingoism/
    chauvenism, et al.

    You forgot misogyny … Pig!

  28. BJTexs says:

    pease porridge hotter
    than a summertime grilling
    carbon credits, please!

  29. steph says:

    Porridge hot or not
    “Just let me eat my waffle,
    you god damn pottist!”

  30. DarthRove says:

    pease porridge in the pot
    tastes like gruel
    and no you can’t have some more, muthafucka.

  31. urthshu says:

    Because of the Patriarchy!!

  32. BJTexs says:

    Pease makes to please, please
    porridge lacks wintertime’s bite
    but gulags rejoice

  33. Big Bang Hunter says:

    Once I owned a railroad
    made it run on time
    Now the railroads are all owned by the gov’ment
    mister can you spare a dime

  34. BJTexs says:

    How about some porridge? Apple?

  35. TaiChiWawa says:

    Pot calls kettle “inauthentic.”

  36. BJTexs says:

    #12: It will eat it’s pease porridge hot or it will get the hose and a lecture on social justice.

  37. BJTexs says:

    Kettle says pot is an Uncle Copper? Me confuzzled.

  38. guinsPen says:

    For twelve barren winters in the Garden of Boston did they wander aimlessly, then yea and verily:

    9. Pease P. Orr, good old number nine days old.

  39. TaiChiWawa says:

    Confuzzled commenter beats copper kettle drum, capiche?

  40. pdbuttons says:

    i bump into things
    or things bump into my path
    i have a silly grin!
    im wearing a helmet!

  41. guinsPen says:

    And the agreed list is supposed to be of Fleshy Bruins, not Dickens, buttons.

  42. pdbuttons says:

    more? more porridge?
    or les moore
    or jumbo shrimp

  43. BJTexs says:

    Pots and kettles are locked into years of enmity, methinks. Kettles have always had traditional airs and look down their noses at pots. Pots think kettles are snobs and are tired of being confused with Cannibus. Identity politics writ small.

    Can’t we all just get along? Here, a bowl!

  44. pdbuttons says:

    thee agreed list?
    my horse/ my horse/ my kindgom for a pony

  45. BJTexs says:

    Pots and kettles are
    falling like the leaves of fall
    buried under pease

    (burp)

  46. urthshu says:

    Food, glorious Democratic People’s Republic of Food

  47. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Right about now the pots are wishing they had the use of the bird-of-prey cloaking device.

    – For a certain fearless pot leader.

  48. Adriane says:

    Visualize World Pease Porridge …

  49. alppuccino says:

    You could always press your own charges with a round-point shovel or an ax handle Darth.

    It would be hard to send your own brother to jail, but it would be a bad deal if changing check amounts caused your checking account to be short of the amount needed for the children’s medicine.

    That would bring you back to the round-point.

  50. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – It’s all a war between the have pot, and the have knots.

  51. pdbuttons says:

    pease pease pease
    let me get what i want
    petty pease

  52. TaiChiWawa says:

    pease pease pease
    let me get what i want
    petty pease

    Fill out the appropriate Federal forms to get your appease porridge.

  53. DarthRove says:

    Oh, believe me, alppuccino, we’re already there. We’ve gotten the bullshit “I swear I’ll pay you back” statement from him. So I’m letting my bank make me whole, and they’re going after him for the amount. I’m assuming a lien and potential criminal charges will come from that.

    But back on topic (such as it is):
    Pease porridge hot
    Pease porridge cold
    Pease porridge in the pot
    Will get your BMI where it should be, lardass. Barack will make you WORK, cracka.

  54. pdbuttons says:

    pease pease me is a great beetls song
    from meet the beetles
    but i love misery also
    fuck!
    i love the whole albulm
    i do!

  55. steph says:

    We’re not trying to push porridge reform because we begrudge success that’s fairly earned. I mean, I do think at a certain point you’ve made enough porridge.

  56. pdbuttons says:

    last night i said to my girl

  57. pdbuttons says:

    oliver reed was
    a prick
    more porridge?
    oliver twist?
    hey/ my edacation is tops!

  58. pdbuttons says:

    all i am saying
    and tommy smothers
    of the smothers brothers “fame”

    will back me up
    give peas a chance
    booyah!

  59. pdbuttons says:

    instant karma gonna getcha

  60. pdbuttons says:

    bobby orr!

  61. pdbuttons says:

    peeas ossifer’ my names kermit and im going to a muppet festival

    im green!/ and
    depennds on your definition of clean
    but im that

  62. pdbuttons says:

    pod people freak me
    plod people are lazy
    have a hitch/ in their step
    pernod people/drink oh so cool water
    and i want to beat them

  63. dicentra says:

    Jesus was pretty adamant about what His gospel entailed:

    First, he organized demonstrations against Roman Imperialism, sending one contingent to occupy Pontius Pilate’s foyer.

    Then he sent a second contingent to Herod’s palace to demand single-payer healthcare and confiscatory taxes to be redistributed to the poor and needy.

    Then in the sermon on the mount, he said,

    Blessed are the oppressed, for they shall get what’s coming to them
    Cursed are the oppressors, for they shall also get what’s coming to them

    Blessed are the redistributers, for they are more equal than others
    Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after social justice, for they shall be filled with rage

    Blessed are the meek, for they shall be pawns in others’ quest for power
    Blessed are those who speak truth to power, for they shall immanentize the Eschaton.

  64. dicentra says:

    You can’t get any clearer than that.

  65. guinsPen says:

    10. Ringojohnpaulg Orrge, good old fab four.

  66. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – A small business owner (47 employee’s) was on Covuto today saying hia healthcare provider has already informed him they will not be renewing his companies healthcare package next year.

    – He said he will probably just give his employee’s as much of a raise as he can afford so they can find their own coverage.

    – Obamacare marches on.

  67. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – If that becomes the norm, and there’s not a reason in sight to believe it will not, everyone knows individual coverage is much much more expensive than group plans, so Bummblefuck will have almost doubled healthcare cost’s for everyone in the USA that actually pays for it.

    – Redistrubution and your taxes in action!

  68. dicentra says:

    Also, Darth, it’s not in your BIL’s best interest to not face the music. If he gets away with this, he may just escalate, and then the penalties will be worse.

    I know it’s tough for your sister, but if she really cares about his well-being (not to mention his soul), she’ll do the tough-love thing now before it gets worse.

  69. guinsPen says:

    Pee dee buttons owns
    The only Meet the Beatles
    With those tunes in grooves.

  70. Squid says:

    The fools in the cities line up for their porridge, thinking they’re lucky because some other wretch has to keep their crockery clean and full.

    Meanwhile, those of us with half a brain moved to the country, where we enjoy BBQ from our neighbor’s swine, cornbread from our other neighbor’s crop, and beer we brewed in the basement.

    A gallon of beer will get you a lot, my friends.

  71. happyfeet says:

    I’ve never owned a Beatles cd.

  72. B Moe says:

    It has been my experience that when someone starts ripping off family there is usually an addiction that needs addressing.

    Just sayin’.

  73. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Great Britain just announced they are abandoning their healthcare system and centralizing it.

    – Bumbblefuck just appointed a helthcare czar to model our healthcare system after the Brits because in his wprds, “it’s so seductive”.

    – Just one more example of total fail.

  74. Mr. W says:

    I don’t want to jinx it, but at long last we may have an answer to the question of how much incompetence the media wing of the Democrat party is willing to cover up.

    They have got to be sitting there slack-jawed as the administration’s latest public relations, policy, and personnel disasters occur almost hourly.

    I think we will soon start to see a lot more on-air breakdowns like this one…

    http://www.realclearpolitics.com/video/2010/07/26/nbcs_matthews_makes_freudian_slip_will_dems_run_away_from_president_ocarter.html

  75. Mr. W says:

    It has begun. They are going to get rid of Barry.

  76. Joe says:

    Mr. W beat me to it, but what the heck:

    President O’Carter?

    I just got a tingle!

  77. geoffb says:

    Pease* porridge hot,
    Pease* porridge cold,
    Pease* porridge in a pot,

    *
    By order of the Health Czar and with approval of the FDA the term “pease” is henceforth to refer to what has been known as “pea gravel”. Pease porridge is a healthful and more easily swallowed version of the ancient food item “Stone soup” which has been nourishing communities for hundreds of years. Please refer to the new pamphlet #a254-009 “Inorganic cooking is good for you” a companion to “Bark & Grass, umm umm good”.

  78. Squid says:

    Joe, you’re linking to a site that hat-tips this site. That’s even more inane than usual for you.

  79. geoffb says:

    And then in comments links to the same link as Mr. W has in #74 making some kind of moebius strip of links.

  80. pdbuttons says:

    everybodys got something to hide
    i n their porridge!
    im looking at you/ cutie!

  81. pdbuttons says:

    baa baa baa
    baa barbarann porrigdge
    you betcha!

  82. pdbuttons says:

    i dont want to spoil the party so ill go

  83. Joe says:

    Squid, are your panties riding again? The picture is still funny. Go with the message.

    Here’s a Matt Labash bit to cheer you up.

    Obama has failed

    The worst President ever

    Jimmy Carter smiles!

  84. pdbuttons says:

    robert gordon orr
    he had big thighs
    and a devilish smile

  85. pdbuttons says:

    hes not done yet
    im thinking maybe a split congress
    will
    mmm
    ya know
    then i get real and think its all kabuki[sp)
    and i drink
    and beat off to my picture of george washington
    and/ lincolns wife

    i didnt say that

  86. pdbuttons says:

    yoe said you’d never porridge
    with the mystery tramp/but now urealize
    hes not selling any alibis
    as u stare into the vacuum of his porridge\and ask him
    do u want the porridge/ hot/ cold?’ i got a microwave/ i like odd seetings
    poorridge/ mm 137?

  87. Ella says:

    It’s just like the story of the grasshopper and the octopus.

    All year long, the grasshopper kept burying acorns for winter, while the octopus mooched off his girlfriend and watched tv. But then the winter came, and the grasshopper died, and the octopus ate all his acorns and also he got a racecar.

    Is any of this getting through to you?

  88. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Now that it’s come to light that the Pakistani’s are working against us in Afghanistan, (Apparently the Bumbblefuck administration is the last to discover this), should we be giving them 500 million more of our tax dollars?

    – Mobama must be hiding on vacation again for good reason.

  89. happyfeet says:

    we never heard anything at all at all at all about bumble’s Pakistani vacation when he was a budding young cocksucking marxist on holiday

  90. sdferr says:

    India’s heard I’ll bet.

  91. pdbuttons says:

    a goat clops one time and were like friends or something
    but when he clip clops
    and turns/ and runs
    thats the end of our relationship

  92. geoffb says:

    Perhaps wikileaks can wikileak the details on that trip. Must be classified somewhere by now.

  93. pdbuttons says:

    in i put a digit in ur orificewill u call me friend?/ or bark?

  94. happyfeet says:

    tiny widdle pygmy goats surely have a function

  95. Mr. W says:

    Shut the 2 billion cash spigot to Egypt and the billion to the Pah-kee-stahn-ees (he really is a twit). They will both immediately kill every jihadi including those in their immediate family to turn it back on.

    That, as they say, is a fact, Jack.

  96. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    Coming to this fall’s new show line-up on NBC!

    Set in 2011, a fumbling President Obama, having passed most of liberal agenda, but the near-depression economy, high unemployment and the resulting loss of American prestige globally all have pushed his approval ratings in the high single-digits. Desperate to retain the White House, Congressional Democrats demand Obama plot with his more popular Secretary of State to formulate a plan that will allow him to step aside and instead allow her to run for President in 2012 as a “centrist”, although she still secretly schemes to enact more of the same as-yet unpassed progressive, big-government, Constitution shredding agenda.

    It’s “Leave It To The Beaver”, Tuesday’s at 10:00pm this fall on NBC!!!

  97. Mr. W says:

    Making the Egyptians and the Pakis dollar addicts doesn’t mean much if the Sate Dept. is too stupid to leverage the Jonesin’ when they need to.

    And I can assure you that based on the State Department people I have known, the collective intellegence of Foggy Bottom couldn’t flush an automatic urinal.

  98. Jeff G. says:

    “Carter Country” was an actual TV show.

    Handle it, Roy. Handle it, handle it!

    With my record on predicting what would happen if we were stupid enough to elect Obama, you’d think my ratings would have soared!

    Life is so unfair. Somebody should pass a law that redistributes links and advertising revenue.

  99. newrouter says:

    we never heard anything at all at all at all about bumble’s Pakistani vacation when he was a budding young cocksucking marxist on holiday

    vacationer

  100. Big Bang Hunter says:

    “Life is so unfair. Somebody should pass a law that redistributes links and advertising revenue.”

    – We finally got rid of Billy Mays – you want to bring him back?

  101. guinsPen says:

    never lived where [railroads are] super-useful…

    never owned a Beatles cd…

    Say, are you sure you don’t live in Cuba?

  102. newrouter says:

    never lived where [railroads are] super-useful

    well that track coming out of the port of la is kinda useful

  103. David Axelrod, Link and Ad Revenue Czar says:

    Comment by Jeff G. on 7/26 @ 5:50 pm #

    “Carter Country” was an actual TV show.

    Handle it, Roy. Handle it, handle it!

    With my record on predicting what would happen if we were stupid enough to elect Obama, you’d think my ratings would have soared!

    Life is so unfair. Somebody should pass a law that redistributes links and advertising revenue.

    Why, that sounds like a great idea!

  104. Big Bang Hunter says:

    – Someone mentioned hillery earlier.

    – I would imagine she’s taking great glee in watching Bumbblefuck flounder and squirm.

  105. Bleepless says:

    Mary had a little lamb,
    Its fleece was white as snow.
    That made it a racist
    So it lost a lot of dough.

  106. guinsPen says:

    Considering our current administration, not for long.

  107. pdbuttons says:

    im a picking
    and your a grinning

  108. guinsPen says:

    [the] track coming out of the port of la

    AKA: Route of the Chi-Com Invasion Containers, so maybe it’s just as well.

  109. guinsPen says:

    Clark off, Roy.

  110. pdbuttons says:

    i want the deliverance banjo player t o play at my funeral
    and i want blue popsicles for needy inner city kids
    cuz i like children/
    but i cant get them close to my van
    BOO1/ just a joke!

  111. pdbuttons says:

    the wonder of childrens eyes
    when i close the trunk on them..
    boo hiss

  112. pdbuttons says:

    my mom told me when ice cream truck played music
    it meant they were outta stuff
    she gave me a pebble/ but never her tit

  113. pdbuttons says:

    tommy herr!

  114. guinsPen says:

    Gentlemen, we will meet them and defeat them at Raton Pass.

  115. guinsPen says:

    I know some secrets.

  116. proudvastrightwingconspirator says:

    There once was a woman named Shirley,
    Who’s firing was done prematurely.
    The progs, in a box,
    tried to blame Fox,
    when that failed, they became surly.

  117. B Moe says:

    I eat my peas with honey
    I have done it all my life
    It doesn’t really taste that good
    But it sticks them to my knife.

  118. sdferr says:

    That’s a pret’ good limerick pvrwc, though I’d throw an “it on” in there for better measure. Too, they’re always surly, so becoming doesn’t become them.

  119. guinsPen says:

    Four bucks for your unique pressing of Meat the Fabfours.

    Nozonos else will covet it.

    Seriously.

  120. guinsPen says:

    will

    Wood.

  121. pdbuttons says:

    haiku 5 7 5?

    shirley she did jest
    yes! her breasts were surely blessed
    pointy with style

  122. pdbuttons says:

    john onions wife was a nazi
    pauls died or was a cripple
    george was like layla
    ringo married a bond girl

    cant buy me love

  123. pdbuttons says:

    pol pot/ its a holiday in cambodia
    or would u prefer this lil ditty?
    row row row ur thing
    north
    can u pitch?

  124. guinsPen says:

    Sousa four bucks a deal, then?

  125. guinsPen says:

    It’s the way JPS himself would’ve wanted it.

  126. guinsPen says:

    haiku 5 7 5?

    Sorry nope.

    Too establishment.

  127. pdbuttons says:

    u got a bobby orr penguin!

  128. guinsPen says:

    Are you referring to my good old number fab four chubby?

    If so, you are in error.

    Still, $4?

  129. Warren Bonesteel says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fc56moy0poA

    Jingoism…sometimes, that’s not a vice at all.

  130. pdbuttons says:

    i admit/ i am the sixth beatle but im bold and gruff

  131. pdbuttons says:

    im bald and gruff

  132. pdbuttons says:

    this bed is too soft/ and this bed is too hard and this bed is juust right/ grandma/
    why are you touching me?

  133. Big Bang Hunter says:

    There were originally 2, The Quarrymen, John and Paul, no not that Paul, another homey, although that Paul met John at almost the same time.

    By the time it was over there may have been 22 or more. I gave up counting after the 7th or 8th iteration.

    Nobody in the final group wanted Ringo. Epstein didn’t like Pete Best.
    Timing is everything in life.

  134. pdbuttons says:

    robert gordon orr/ yikes!

  135. pdbuttons says:

    the rutles rule

  136. pdbuttons says:

    when ray davies was ask what he thought about bruce springsteen he said
    i dont drive
    the english are clever

  137. pdbuttons says:

    booby orr

  138. prozacula says:

    looks like you’re still a douche, jeffy. I check in after 3 years, and you still sing the same tune – the only thing that has changed is that you are just MORE of a prick.

  139. bh says:

    Well, okay then. See you in another three years, asshole.

  140. BJTexs says:

    Three years seems like a long time, but when you are as big an asshat as proctocula, it is more like a moment.

    Take your time, next time, asshat. The world will thank you.

  141. Squid says:

    …the only thing that has changed is that you are just MORE of a prick.

    It just kills you that he continues to be right, doesn’t it? Three years ago, I didn’t believe half the shit Jeff predicted. Now I’m reading it in the paper every morning.

    But hey — now at least your Prozac will be “free.” So why so grumpy?

  142. serr8d says:

    porkedbyacuda stops in for what? To wish itself were dead instead of having to face the reality that is America’s disintegration due to the policies of it’s beloved Social Democrats ?

    S’long, and hope you enjoy your bright, shiny future under your new overlords.

  143. pdbuttons says:

    three years ago i had a sippycup
    now i quaff

  144. guinsPen says:

    Nope, you quim.

  145. guinsPen says:

    Careful people, Beatle errors on this page remain unaddressed.

    And in the spirit of fleshy bruin drum circles, pee dee.

    11. Lou Bega, good old Mambo Numborr Five.

Comments are closed.