Here’s where I left my blog! I thought for sure I’d lost it at the Wyoming State Fair in ’02 after a particularly raucous Bellamy Brothers concert. Nothing like waking up in a pile of shirtless cowboys and empty Pabst cans to make you re-evaluate your life, I can tell you that much. Christ, I smelled like Stetson, chaps, and Scott Glenn for a good solid month. And you don’t just scrub a smell like that clean.
Anyway, let’s see what I missed… Well, that Howard Dean is a bit of nut job, eh? — the way he screams and all? And what’s up with this John Kerry guy? Is he a first-rate flip-flopper or what! I mean, could he be any more liberal? Oh, and what about those WMDs? Where do you suppose those things got to…?
What else… hmm, is it true that gays want to get married now…? Really? Well, here’s my take on that: does anyone else remember when Rosie O’Donnell was actually funny?
Michael Jackson blah blah blah little boy and his little boy penis.
There. That should just about cover it.
This is almost cause for a party!
Wow. Welcome back!
That covers it just fine; welcome back!
We hardly knew ye.
Welcome back.
Rip Van Winkle:
While you were (sleeping/in a coma/living a down a spider hole), we also found Saddam, landed on Mars and saw Janet Jackson’s boob.
J-J-Jeff…? [Breaks down in wracking sobs]
Where the fuck have you BEEN? You missed EVERYTHING!
Where the hell have you been? My blog’s name has changed three times since you left!
Fuckin’ A. You’re back, Jeff!
Fuckin’ A. I’m going to go embarrass myself on my blog now.
Are you all grown up?
/ stabbing “add to bookmark” button with extra gusto
Jeff, dude, you missed nothing. Nothing happened. Hell, Nader is still running for Bushident. Osama is still running around like a common gopher. Oh, wait … something *did* happen! Tiger Woods did a very sad job imitating Bill Murray in Caddyshack … this was a teevee commercial, on the Oscars! And those fucking worthless life-stealing D&D hobbits won all awards for everything. This is a good way to keep Bill Murray mad forever. Also, I authorized the nuking of New Zealand. Worthless hobbit kiwis …
About freakin’ time, Goldstein.
Can I remove the “memorial link” asterisk from my roll, or are you just one of those return-from-the-dead zombie bloggers?
Welcome back!
Myria
”…those fucking worthless life-stealing D&D hobbits…”
You are dead to me, Layne.
Welcome back, Jeff. We’ve missed you.
Looks like I lost the office pool.
Dammit.
It’s about time. (grin)
Welcome back.
And algore (v.2.1) is still the loserest loser in all of loserdom.
Loser.
Loser!!!
Welcome back!! We’ve been waiting.
Welcome back, and there goes the f***ng neighborhood again. And could you please replace that “70’s mellow mafia” pic of you that makes you look like the dude who sang “Pina Colada”?
S to the E to the R to the P to the I-C-O? Replaced? Man, you mus’ be crazy.
Uhhh, were you gone? Who knew? Welcome back.
I think you should put up half a dozen stories explaining the absence, and let us guess which one is real.
Ya know, they do have a newer version of MT also. They did away with the crank when you were gone.
Oh hell yeah. Welcome back! I missed you and I was getting seriously sick of that “Girl from Ipanema” theme.
Welcome back! The mice have missed you.
Yeah, we were running out of blogs there for a while.
Jesus…Jeff is back. I thought you died or something (as though the ‘something’ was worse than death).
exxxxcellent.