One of the cooler things about Heaven is its coed intramural softball games. First off, there are no winners or losers, because we’ve made it a rule that you can’t keep score — the idea being that once you remove the element of competition, everyone can relax and not worry about striking out, or booting ground balls, or being on the wrong end of some bulked-up jock’s macho bullshit blame tirade. Instead, we concentrate on the important things: emptying a couple Miller Lite kegs and getting our smoke on — with the more ambitious of us grilling burgers and butcher shop kielbasa with onions and peppers, or watching the girls chase pop-ups in their Daisy Dukes from the comfort of a right field hammock.
— Of course, when it comes time to pair off after the games and go somewhere to, like, fuck, the hot chicks almost always hook up with guys who can actually play. Which isn’t all that fair, if you ask me — and certainly not in keeping with the spirit of community some of us are trying to foster here.
So I’m thinking we’ll need some more rules.
I’m with Corey on this one.
Effin statist .
So, who’s the favored Tea Party candidate for 2012? Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachman?
Whichever one wins the Jell-O wrasslin’ match.
Seems to be a recurring problem for you. Cronic even.
RD doesn’t like attractive self assured women is all.
Corey’s apparently one of those Lost Boys of Summer.
License to, like, Fuck. That was my favorite I think.
The “naughty librarian look” will win every time.
Such is life during our Great Leap Forward…
He should probably just suck it up and pretend to be Feldman. That guy plays up.
Malcom Mclaren passed today.
There’s a whole lot of poseuer’s in the world that owe this guy a solid.
Malcom was awesome!
RD is a cunt. That is all.
License to, like, Fuck.
As long as I can wear it slung on a fabric necklace like some kind of security clearance I approve .
Corey’s location is looking less and less heavenly.
This is possibly the least popular series of all time here at pw. In fact, I linked it on facebook, and the response was…well, crickets.
And yet it makes me smile. Which is all that we can hope for in Obama’s Great Society.
Dude, it’s being taken care of as we speak.
Bitches leave…
The comments on the Duke University thought crimes handbook are piling up at The False Rape Society and at Dr. Helen’s. Both threads are well worth spending quantity time with.
I keep looking for Corey Haim’s updates. Perhaps it doesn’t have as much to mine as did Martha Stuart’s prison time, because of, you know, lesbian stuff.
Yeah, but it’s no where near as funny as Will Smith raping a giant statue.
Dr*hic*s on Kenned*urp*…
One thing that I found appealing — in my twisted way — about the movie What Dreams May Come was the idea that the afterlife is profoundly personal. Whether heaven or hell, it’s the one that’s right for you.
Methinks Corey may take a while figuring out which is his.
Jeff, you just perfectly described my old SunLife of Canada insurance company softball league,with the exeption that we DID keep score until we forgot the score…
AND my kids soccer leagues, AND their little league games. Thing is? If we don’t keep score? NOBODY wins, whhich I think is a really stoopid thing to teach our children.
What’s wrong with learning through failure?
Folks just don’t care about Corys like they used to. More’s the pity, I guess.
somewhere in America there’s a new Corey taking his first tentative Corey steps towards a Corey future of Corey triumph
This thought comforts me.
I’ve made up my mind where Corey is, until the next installment of course.
Hotties in Daisy Dukes at a baseball game?
Cubs were mathematically eliminated from the playoffs yesterday, BTW.
Heaven
Is a place
where nothing
nothing really happens
So, who’s the favored Tea Party candidate for 2012? Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachman?
Won’t matter. Corey’s embalmed corpse is gonna be able to beat Plastic Jesus by then.
P.S. Hi, Rilly! Bye, Rilly!
Jeff,
Next time you’re talking with Corey, can you ask from him what is covered by the Pearly Gate’s Dental Plan?
‘Cause Shane MacGowen keeps buggin me about it, and, really, I haven’t a clue.
By the way, Shane’s breath makes Madam Pelosi’s smell like Shalimar.
“can you ask from him”
Wow, I really wrote that?
My excuse is that I spent the day with a dba from Uzbekistan. That’s how roll we do.
Eddie Murphy could probably do that bit justice.
Heaven…Nothing ever happens.
Good song, steph.
serr8d
Stop Making Sense = Jonathan Demme’s Finest Moment
serr8d
I’m old enough to have attended a Big Suit concert “Live!” “In Person”.
Sure beat the crap out of Joni’s Miles of Aisles.
I’m a river rat. Take me to, every chance you get. Nevermind…I’ll be on one this weekend!
One of the best concerts I can remember was the ‘Sand in the Vaseline’ tour. Had to be in ’82 or so…everyone was dancing, dancing…
OK, so it wasn’t Sand, but it was in ’82. That much I remember~!
Saturday, October 15, 1983. Damn.
Oh yeah, we danced and danced and danced. Emerald City, Cherry Hill NJ circa 1980-ish. Talking Heads they rocked they did. And Tina, she was easy on the eyes and hips, wasn’t she?
And we danced, swept away for a moment by chance. And we danced and danced and danced.
And we danced, swept away for a moment by chance. We were liars in love, and we danced. And we danced and danced and danced.
Or something like that …
My g00gle-fu is weak tonight. Couldn’t find a decent picture of Tina Weymouth, but I did find this one of some lefty bashing BOOOOOOSH!. There’s plenty of those out there; Tina, not so many. I should’ve smuggled in a camera to the concert instead of…whatever else made it in with me. )
Back in ’80 I was sharing an apartment with an avowed Markist. We argued about a lot of stupid shit. Not least, his love for Clash’s “Sandinista”.
I thought it sucked, for three sides of suck. Long hours of suck. And badly recorded too.
He defended it. We argued.
But then came “Remain in Light”
Amazing what a good groove can do. We played the shit out of that record. We danced and danced.
Like we did with Visions of the Emerald Beyond.
I am so old.
Did someone say dance!
JD – And I am sooo fucking old that I saw the Hooters Live! In Person! at Dobbs, on South Street, when Alan Mann or Mikey Wild (“Where’s the Nuts?” “Home Sleeping!”) were still alive.
steph – I could not recall who sang that song, it just popped into my head. Hooters. Great name. That time period makes me think about .38 Special, The Cars, The Outfield, Huey Lewis …
the hooters were cyndi lauper’s band for her hit cd
Did the Hooters have an accordion or a harmonica player? Those are cool.
LOSE WEIGHT EVEN IN THE AFTERLIFE !!!!!!!!
That was pretty much the only thing about the afterlife I was sure of, JD.
– Of course, when it comes time to pair off after the games and go somewhere to, like, fuck, the hot chicks almost always hook up with guys who can actually play.
Oh oh….which must be why the good die young? Damn!
Of course there is that universe where I stayed off the drugs, got a job, and became a Republican. Or was it an Obama supporter? Fuck, I can’t keep it straight any longer. Did I really have earrings past college?
ot: You just can’t make this shit up.
ot again:
“Finally, a Muslim has done something to offend the Left: terrorizing them with secondhand smoke.” — Gagdad
Heh.
I think Corey’s problem is that he is in right field. Try the Hot Corner, dude.
JD. It was a melodica. I got all that Philly stuff from the 80’s. The Hooter’s Amore, the Robert Hazard (RIP) and the Heros EP, Beru Review, a Pretty Poison cassette is holding up my router… the Daves…hail to thee old North Star…Hail to thee our Bar!
Now I feel old and far away from home. This is why the Greeks thought nostalgia was a disease.
I have no idea what that’s all about.
Slart, near as I can figure, they all look alike to that feller.