I really can’t tell you much about where I am exactly, because I was pretty fucked up when I got here, and I kinda kept passing out during orientation. If I had to guess, though, I’d say I’m in Heaven. Because already I was able to score several ounces of crystalized Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, and I didn’t even have to blow Carrot Top under the table at Nate ‘n Al’s to do it.
I think I’m going to like Heaven.
Man he made some bad choices, huh?
Other Guy just brought me my St. Paddy’s Guinness-in-a-Starbucks cup. It’s traditional.
This is a nice day so far I think.
I think blowing Carrot Top would be my definition of Hell. Unless he used some really funny props.
“Say hi to the nice people, Mr. Shriveled-Steroid-Schlong!”
Carrot Top makes Nancy Pelosi look natural.
i cant believe your making fun of corey, omg he was so talented and beautiful and now he’s dead and I saw this on Google! U shouldbe a shamed, hes in a better place and he is probably charming the wings off the angels with his GORGEOUS SMILE! who are you? did you star in movies from Hollywood? No!!!!
That’s kind of a shitty thing to do to angels I think.
I wondered what was with all the SPLAT sounds and clouds of angel dust outside my window.
I can’t wait ’til he checks under the sofa cushions…
#5 was brilliant.
#9 – quite so.
According to NUMBER FIVE, it might be too soon. And they VOTE!!!
OT: Have you guys seen this guy? I got a kick out of it.
Dirt surfin’. I think I hear the Beach Boys playing in the background.
Tell Corey to say hi to Anna Nicole!
Five is awesome.
I frankly only vaguely remember Corey Haim (I remember a few of the movies he was in but I did not think of Lost Boys, for example, as a Corey Haim movie). Heath Ledger being a decent actor made his death more tragic (if you can correctly use that term to someone accidently overdosing). Sadly, Corey Haim, not so much.
But if Corey’s passing can prompt a new Jeff Goldstein fiction thread character, all is not lost, and an afterlife does exist.
Yeah there is a heaven. It is on the internets, a virtual world like Tron.
So heaven is a 404 File Not Found?
“Comment by Squid on 3/17 @ 11:56 am #
I can’t wait ’til he checks under the sofa cushions”
Yeah, but at least he won’t have to do carpet patrol anymore…
That was always a drag (pun intended).
We have the virtual afterlife of Corey Haim, compared to the Man Dogs of Afghanistan. Maybe that is why the ACLU is so hot to protect them, people freak when you kill dogs (many kids cry when they see Petey almost getting the gas in Little Rascals).
“Comment by thorisa cheesedick on 3/17 @ 12:15 pm #
Dirt surfin’. I think I hear the Beach Boys playing in the background.”
I think you are confusing dirt surfing with Kathy Mattea’s kick-ass “455 Rocket”.
“As we skidded I swore I heard the angels sing (and it sounded like the Beach Boys!)”
Glad to hear that things are looking up for Corey.
It is getting harder to sift the fact from fiction anymore.
Fiction is fact! Haim is Feldman!
Cranky, that last bit is blasphemy!
In my mind, I imagine God hugging Corey and saying, “You’re a Lost Boy no longer.” Then, as we relax and enjoy that happy ending… God bears his fangs and plunges them deep into Corey’s neck.
I love a good twist.
And God looks just like Richard Masur.
Which I shouldn’t have added here, because I probably just killed an entire narrative arc.
Yes. Strong casting decision.
How about Anthony Zerbe then?
Sadly, the inverted coolness of the Church also attracted (and continues to attract) many geeks, hip wimps, vampire feebs and those we call Bobbies or Gimme-Bobs, those who would take from the Church but who givest not.
Corey Haim was a givest not.
And God looks just like Richard Masur.
NOT Morgan Freeman? RAAAAACIST!1!!
I thought He looked like George Burns.
Wow. I had no idea that Heather Graham played the dream girl in License to Drive. (Looking for past Masur roles on IMDB.) She had just turned 18. Which reminds me, time to watch Drugstore Cowboy again.
Now the Archangel Gabriel is Abe Vigoda, in sleeve garters and green eye shades.
that’s so weird you said that me and NG just did a recap of Heather’s career for the same reason…
I’d forgotten she was in Nowhere and it was funny cause NG thought Heather was in her 20s…
The Cories were kind of tragic. You just knew it would not end well.
Heather Graham in the Lenny Kravitz video rocked. So did Heathers. A trend develops.
I used to see the not-dead Corey at Blockbuster but I think he must have Netflix now.
Sometimes, when we’re drinking, my friends and I play a game of ridiculous movie premises.
My buddy came up with one called
wherein the mafia is engaged in a hidden war for dominance against the vampires. With make-up changes, Philip Baker Hall plays the role of both patriarchs.
I want to see that movie so bad it hurts me inside.
Yeah, html mistake. Wow.
Starring Morgan Freeman as “God’s Black Friend”
When I think Richard Masur, I think (going from memory here):
“Very nice, but not really Princeton material, is it?”
Also liked him as the Irish stationmaster in “Heavens Gate”.
What ever happened to Madeleine Stoew. I really liked her. I never see her anymore. 12 Monkeys is surreal.
Corey who?
You stay alive! I will find you!
I’ve never understood why mocking the dead is bad. Stupid dogmatists.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=525771167779327118#
I don’t consider it “mocking.” It’s more like, “allowing his legend to live on.”
It used to be a lot easier to mock the dead because they were slow. You could get in a good wise crack before you shotgunned the top of their head off. Now that the sumbitches can run, it’s all like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Unless they walk into the helicopter blades. Then it’s like, WHOA! AWESOME!
Einhorn is Finkle!