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Some unsolicited advice, delivered by way of a non-Tweet

In my opinion, Meghan McCain would do well to buy herself a fancy vibrator and spend some quality time with herself. That way, she wouldn’t feel the need to prattle on so much in public.

I mean, honestly: we’d be far better served if the McCains began fucking themselves for a change, rather than bending the whole of conservatism over a desk in exchange for a few minutes of air time and some cheap populist applause.

0 Replies to “Some unsolicited advice, delivered by way of a non-Tweet”

  1. pdbuttons says:

    happy valentines day megs

  2. Jeff G says:

    MISOGYNIST!

    (For the record, I’m all for John buying himself one, too. It’s just that Meghan is the more likely of the two to Tweet about how she’s holding it.)

  3. Meghan: “You know, this Che Guevara vibrator gives me more pleasure than any standard old boring conservative vibrator.”

  4. Meghan: “OMG! Did I just say that??? OMG!!! Hey, is that a television camera???HI AMERIKKA!!! Look at me, I say things that will get me backstage at the next TORI AMOS CONCERT…WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!”

  5. BJTex says:

    I;m sorry, I simply did not have the stones to watch any more than about 2 minutes of that dreck. Every time I look at even a little of it I remember my daughter’s opinion that The View exists for the sole purpose of “making daytime TV viewing women exponentially dumber.”

    And, of course, Megan gets all kinds of props and appearances from the likes of The View and MSNBC. They’ll hail her as a moderate and sensible Republican while, behind her back, giggle at her teenage OMG! idiocy and lack of depth. The fact that she doesn’t realize she’s being played only further solidifies the clueless narrative. The fact that there are a lot of so-called “young conservatives” plying her with hosannas is downright depressing.

    Please be sure to send her a vibrator with a “Warp Drive” setting.

  6. newrouter says:

    use only progressive™ brand vibrators. tingling america since 1912

  7. BJTex says:

    ROA: the Che vibrator was awesome. We’ve missed you!

  8. JD says:

    Maybe she and Oliver Willis could have a contest where they cover each other in lard and then see who can eat the most twinkies in an hour.

  9. Nolanimrod says:

    I couldn’t persevere until McCain’s riff.

  10. sdferr says:

    John McCain is similar to the Taliban in Marjah, seeding conservatism with his daughter:

    “Could you please take the mines out?” Mohammad Kazeem, a local pharmacist, asked the Marines through an interpreter. The entrance to his shop had been completely booby-trapped, without any way for him to re-enter his home, he said.

  11. pdbuttons says:

    mayor mcheese says curfew is off

  12. serr8d says:

    I would tweet her the link to this post, but Meghan blocked me.

    I blame this.

    Oh, this guy is numb-nut bug-fuck crazy most of the time, but he makes a few good points. Happyfeet, this is for you.

  13. Thanks for missing me BjTex.! I like being missed. My apologies for not being around much. I have been reading just not posting. Also I have been studying things. Like how to build rockets that go 2 miles. And how to make a different kind of solid rocket fuel…gun powder is for babies. What is it with turning 40 (or middle aged, whatever) and rediscovering your childhood love of things that are dangerous?

  14. Meghan: “I knew some communist in college and they were FUN to party with! So Whoopie, was being a junky awesome or what???”

    Whoopie: “LOL!! MEGHAN!!!”

  15. Frank Rich of the NYT sneers at Palin & the Tea Party, but this time with an undercurrent of alarm.

  16. pdbuttons says:

    my stink hurts

  17. happyfeet says:

    thank you Mr. serr8d

  18. serr8d says:

    You’re welcome, ‘feets!

    Don’t go away. We would miss.

  19. happyfeet says:

    Palin & the Tea Party

    that happened very fast and there’s nothing wrong with being mindful that it was a choice…

  20. TerryH says:

    EJ Dionne cites McCain in his attempt to depict the Tea Party movement as racist:

    […]Where is the party of Abraham Lincoln? The GOP’s leaders have been shockingly silent, but Meghan McCain, John McCain’s daughter, honorably stepped up to condemn Tancredo. On ABC’s “The View,” she said the call for literacy tests amounted to “innate racism.”

  21. 50 years in the future:

    “reflecting upon her commanding performance on the View, Meghan McCain majestically and calmly stated, “I am was become brownskinned”.

  22. happyfeet says:

    I will be back around but when I am less dyspeptical I think Mr. serr8d. I do not like hoochie Meghan I do not like Sarah Palin I do not like simple Tebows I do not like vegan tacos.

  23. badanov says:

    I simply did not have the stones to watch any more than about 2 minutes

    Me, too.

  24. serr8d says:

    Sarah Palin can say whatever she likes to say, and I’ll defend her right to say so, and defend her against the leftist’s personal attacks. If and when she decides to run again (I don’t think she will, at least not in 2012; she is still young, and 2016 might serve her better) she’ll have to win, first, a primary challenge. That’s where we, those not of the Obama party, would up-front all the problems and concerns her candidacy raises.

    I do believe this: even if she doesn’t run, her endorsement for 2012 will be golden. The woman has buckets full of political assets and liabilities.

  25. serr8d says:

    So you don’t think Tebow will go high in the first round either, eh, ‘feets?

    At least he’s alive. Could’ve been much worse.

  26. happyfeet says:

    Ick with the lifeyness I think. I am not pro-life.

    I am wary of life really.

    Life and squirrels.

  27. happyfeet says:

    Life and squirrels and vegan tacos.

  28. newrouter says:

    fear the squirrels

  29. bh says:

    I wonder what additional features a fancy vibrator might offer, Jeff?

    Btw, I’d make out with a squirrel if it eliminated the existence of vegan tacos. And, remember, squirrels were logically necessary for C&C Music Factory to say:

    It’s your world and I’m just a squirrel
    trying to get a nut to move your butt to the dance floor

    So, they serve a higher purpose.

  30. happyfeet says:

    They were a factory what made music about squirrels.

    We’ve been moving away from that. As a people. As a people what shop at Target. But here is another band where if you look for their cds at Target you will not find them but not cause of they’re dated 90s dance music but because of Target hates music I think.

  31. bh says:

    That’s now my favorite video featuring a pumpkin going to heaven.

    Clicking around, I see their keyboardist can dance. Which is sorely underrated for those guys I think. Good stuff.

  32. Rusty says:

    In my opinion, Meghan McCain would do well to buy herself a fancy vibrator and spend some quality time with herself. That way, she wouldn’t feel the need to prattle on so much in public.

    I mean, honestly: we’d be far better served if the McCains began fucking themselves for a change, rather than bending the whole of conservatism over a desk in exchange for a few minutes of air time and some cheap populist applause.

    I dunno, Jeff. Amanda ‘s got a jackhammer wrapped in latex, powered by her own personal, industrail,air compressor, and she runs her mouth like an ATM machine on the vegas strip.

  33. Darleen says:

    Meghan is agog that she gets face time with Bahbrah WahWah or Joy Behar when she trashes anyone center-right, no matter how dumb-blonde-down-to-her-roots she sounds. Oooo! I’m on TV!!! LOOK AT MEEE!

    Missy Silver-Spoon-toinette would absolutely shriek with classist horror if she ever had to share even airspace with some person who actually works for a living, let alone the college schlubs paying their own way to accounting/business/engineer degrees.

    She wants her cake but disses the people who bake it.

  34. B Moe says:

    I will be back around but when I am less dyspeptical I think Mr. serr8d. I do not like hoochie Meghan I do not like Sarah Palin I do not like simple Tebows I do not like vegan tacos.

    But you are okay with Michael Savage?

  35. Matt says:

    There should be a “not safe for people who hurl when they see/listen to Whoopi” tag in front of that link.

  36. happyfeet says:

    jeez I don’t even know Mr. Savage cause of I don’t watch tv or listen to radios. I don’t even hab a teebee yet caused of I went to get one and also an xbox but I didn’t know the difference between an xbox Elite and the other one so I wanted to go home and read more but my friend P said you don’t even know if you like games and I said oh. Good point.

    So we got a PC game which was the most expensive so we figured it was the best one and it was called Mass Effect 2. But it wouldn’t install. Which was disappointing cause of there are colonists what need my help. So tomorrow I’m taking it back to Best Buy. I don’t think these Electronic Arts people are very good at the making of the games.

    And radio I never get to hear cause I live so close to work. Like less than a mile. So sometimes I walk cause if I walk I can stop for tasty austere mexican on the way home and sometimes I drive cause of I bought a car but I haven’t fixed the radio buttons yet.

    Usually if you wait long enough someone will do it for you.

  37. happyfeet says:

    We take it back maybe we see if they have make the numbers.

  38. bh says:

    OT:

    Hey all, I have a question here. I have to get a gift for a higher up at work. I know he’s a single malt guy and figure that might be a safe bet.

    Is there a safe single malt to buy? Looking to spend between $30 to $60.

    Thanks.

    Back on topic: I’m seriously wondering what added features a fancy vibrator offers. I’m thinking alarm clock and self-cleaning. Too far?

  39. serr8d says:

    Michael Savage is very strange, even for someone who lives on a boat in San Francisco. His radio show is, as I said, bug-fuck crazy. If I’m driving home from, say, Knoxville and it’s past 8:00 PM and there’s no coffee in my cup and no other way to stay awake, then he’ll be on in my car.

    Which always needs upholstery cleaning after that.

    (Did you know he’s never been to England, has no desire to go to England, but is banned by the English from going to England? NPR and that exchange gal from Huff’n’blow got a nut from that.)

  40. B Moe says:

    Scotch: Lismore is a low cost crowd pleaser.

    Video Game Console: PS 3. You can watch Blu Rays on it if you don’t like games, and it won’t fuck up all the time like XBox 360 do.

  41. bh says:

    Thanks B Moe.

  42. happyfeet says:

    You know that’s exactly what P said too. He said I know you want an Xbox but you have no idea what you’re talking about. Which, yes.

    So I might give that some thought.

  43. B Moe says:

    I have got a 360, and it is okay but it fucks up a lot. Folks I know who got PS3 say it never fucks up, and it has more games. Wii are cheaper and are really popular with the new or casual gamer, might look at those.

    If you go Xbox or PS3, get Borderlands. Great game and you don’t have to rescue anybody, you just kill shit and take their stuff.

  44. newrouter says:

    “just kill shit and take their stuff.”

    che/stalin/hitler the movie

  45. not bh, he's says:

    ‘feets, maybe just download Mass Effect (the first) for your pc and see if you like it.

  46. DarthRove says:

    @bh re: single malt

    Glenlivet is my usual drink, and you can get several varieties for the under $60 mark. The Glenlivet 12 is the “normal”, in some places you can find Glenlivet 15 French Oak. The 15 improves on the 12, in my opinion, and you can’t get it in bars like the 12 so it’s a nice change-up. If you find Glenlivet 16 “Nadurra”, it’s a departure from the normal citrusy notes. It’s more peaty and raw than you expect from a Glenlivet, but still quite nice.

    Put it this way, if anyone gave me Glenlivet, I’d happily take their calls after normal hours. For a while, anyway. Until the bottle ran out.

  47. sdferr says:

    Insty linked, this article and case involving an effort to recall Sen Robert Menendez (D-NJ) presents an interesting set of questions.

  48. DarthRove says:

    ‘feets:

    All you need to know about XBox is: It’s a Microsucksoft product. ‘Nuff said.

  49. B Moe says:

    “just kill shit and take their stuff.”

    che/stalin/hitler the movie

    It’s okay though because its on another planet and they are all alien freaks and mutants and midgets.

    Zombie midgets even, how cool is that?

  50. geoffb says:

    But if exercise is needed the Wii makes you work more than your fingers and thumbs.

    Seriously though I haven’t had a game system since the Super Nintendo and the original Playstation, so don’t listen to me. If I wanted one I’d ask my son who has everyone ever made.

  51. Slartibartfast says:

    Ardbeg is your huckleberry if you like Islay scotches; otherwise I’d stick with one of the mainstream.

  52. bh says:

    Thanks Darth. Think I’ve had that G 15 FO, liked it. I’m just a boring blended guy. Johnnie Black, no thought required.

    And, gotta say, zombie midgets, what’s not to like, B Moe. Oh wait… you’re supposed to shoot them.

  53. bh says:

    Thanks, Slart. Not to sound too stupid but what would be a safe mainstream choice?

  54. sdferr says:

    again via insty, a simulation movie of the appearance of a freefall into a blackhole: nevermind the url says it’s bh_free, he ain’t in there in any way shape or form, free or slave. It’s a bigish mp4, but pretty neat to watch. There’s another simulation on this page explaining the creation of the thing.

  55. bh says:

    bh_free

    Jerk! Yeah you, sdferr, what with the jerkishness and all.

  56. JD says:

    Zombie alien midgets – thanks a fucking lot. No way, no how, am I sleeping tonite.

  57. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    bh, you cannot go wrong with either the Balvenie Doublewood or Highland Park 12 in that price range. Or if you want to go peaty, go with Slart’s suggestion of Ardbeg 10 or Laphroig 10.

  58. happyfeet says:

    PS3 and Borderlands it is. I thought about a Wii geoff but… it’s not very… it’s sort of… I dunno… I might get a DS if I ever have to travel more…

  59. B Moe says:

    Highland Park is excellent, just tried some for the first time last month and it is definitely on of my favorites now.

  60. serr8d says:

    I haven’t owned a console game since PONG, but be sure to get one that will let you play BluRay movies too.

    I would recommend looking at the back of one, and the one with the most input-output connectivity ports gets the nod.

    From g00gling, it seems the Microsoft XBox 360 has the most and best games, and the best and most powerful video and graphics. The Sony Playstation 3 is playing catchup, is too expensive and doesn’t have a very powerful graphics engine. The WII (my BIL has one) I thought was the goofiest thing I’d ever seen in my life. Maybe it was the sucky games he had, dunno.

  61. bh says:

    Excellent. Thanks, OI.

    Have to grab one during lunch tomorrow so I want a list of good options as I don’t know what’s stocked.

  62. bh says:

    You should buy B Moe and your friend P avocado tacos for their help, ‘feets.

    Squirrel tacos would be fitting but they’re all seasonal.

  63. B Moe says:

    Zombie alien midgets – thanks a fucking lot. No way, no how, am I sleeping tonite.

    Blowing their little noggins off with a space-age sawed-off double-barrel is amazingly therapeutic.

  64. geoffb says:

    but… it’s not very… it’s sort of… I dunno

    It’s a kids thing, I know. Granddaughter likes it. Son likes his PS3, good machine.

  65. squirrel says:

    Fuck y’all.

  66. Greg says:

    Meghan is clearly showing classic symptoms for one of the new Psychiatric Anomalies listed recently. I believe it’s called Dimwitius Blondis Chickadoofus Eliteolius.

  67. The Black Squirrel Rules says:

    Fuck y’all.

    Wanna piece of me. Bring it on, boy!

  68. happyfeet says:

    I’m torn now… but I think I’m leaning PS cause of how Mr. Moe says the Xbox crashes a lot … trying to get that crappy Mass Effect game to run was very frustrating.

  69. happyfeet says:

    thank you… I’m tilting back to xbox cause of it’s more exciting… and apparently it’s cheaper… but it’s very up in the air

  70. happyfeet says:

    hey did you see Mr. Locke got instapundited?

  71. happyfeet says:

    oh. Mr. Instapundit has the link wrong I will email him

  72. happyfeet says:

    oh… it’s just in firefox it’s not linking to the comment

  73. happyfeet says:

    oh. Mr. sdferr is all on top of this already.

  74. sdferr says:

    Or buried underneath it, depending on the perspective…

  75. CraigC says:

    Does it have to be a fancy vibrator?

  76. cranky-d says:

    So, the PS3 doesn’t have drive failure problems like the PS2? Good to know.

  77. Silver Whistle says:

    bh, there’s no such thing as a safe, mainstream malt. The malt whisky world tends to divide into Island/Highland. Unless you’re a lush like me, who just likes whisky. I prefer Islay malts, the peatier the better, but wouldn’t turn my nose up at a sherry-infused Speyside. You’ll find a Macallan in my cabinet alongside a Caol Isla. How about a Bruichladdich? It’s an Islay, but not overly peaty and the 15 year old is sensational.

  78. Carin says:

    t. But here is another band where if you look for their cds at Target you will not find them but not cause of they’re dated 90s dance music but because of Target hates music I think.

    the place I go to not find the music I want is Meijer. No Target where I live. Yesterday I checked for Five Finger Death Punch. Didn’t have it.

    I asked for Tool, once, at Walmart and the lady looked at me strange.

    I know, I know. Amazon. But sometimes I want stuff NOW.

  79. serr8d says:

    It’s only the PS3 that’ll play the BluRay discs, so that cements it for me (if I ever decide to, you know, buy a game console ever).

  80. bh says:

    Thanks SW.

  81. Frontman says:

    Observation-the thread went from the vapid asininity of Meggy and the Whoopster to squirrels, Scotch and gaming platforms. I think this underscores the very “meh” dismissibility of MM.

    BTW, a squirrel is just a rat with a press agent and PS3 is vastly superior to Xbox. I never developed a taste for the Scotch, though.

  82. geoffb says:

    the place I go to not find the music I want is Meijer.

    The Barnes and Noble at both the local malls here tend to have a more esoteric selection than Target or Meijer.

  83. Old Texas Turkey says:

    Cardhu 12 Yr – Speyside. Will be pushing the upper end of your budget but well worth the effort.

  84. sdferr says:

    “…the thread went from the vapid asininity of Meggy and the Whoopster…”

    She is asinine as a package Frontman but she’s an asinine cog meshing two more significant gearing systems in the transmission apparatus: the Media follies on the one hand and her daddy Johnny McC on the other.

    I’m hoping Arizonans choose to pour some sand down the fill-tube; ain’t holding my breath while I wait to find out though.

  85. Carin says:

    The Barnes and Noble at both the local malls here tend to have a more esoteric selection than Target or Meijer.

    I don’t have a local mall. The closet Borders/Barnes & Noble is a half-hour drive from me. Also, I think my tastes go beyond esoteric. I mean, stores used to stock the stuff I like. But now, given digital music etc – I think most places don’t stock that but the most popular choices. Which is cool if you’re a Josh Grobin fan. NOt so much if you’re looking for Five Finger Death Punch.

  86. bh says:

    Thanks OTT.

  87. Abe Froman says:

    But now, given digital music etc – I think most places don’t stock that but the most popular choices.Which is cool if you’re a Josh Grobin fan. NOt so much if you’re looking for Five Finger Death Punch.

    It just ain’t right. Any American should be able to walk into the mall and get an album of overproduced, radio-friendly nineties-style fake alternative rock.

  88. BJTex says:

    Oh, Abe, you are walking a mind field, you are. I’ll be behind this concrete wall when Carin gets back. You know, to avoid the collateral damage.

    Duck and cover.

  89. Slartibartfast says:

    Five Finger Death Punch

    I can’t imagine what other kind of death punch there might be, so: objection, redundant.

  90. geoffb says:

    Sorry Carin. My better half is the big cd buyer here. I’m more movies and books. This is another online one I check when looking.

  91. bh says:

    I much prefer Five Toe Death Kick.

  92. geoffb says:

    I prefer my five shot Taurus model 85 snubbie, but I’m not MMA able at all.

  93. Slartibartfast says:

    Regarding “safe” scotches that are mainstream-ish, I think the Balvenie Doublewood is a decent 12-year-old at under $40 a fifth. Bowmore 12-year-old is a few bucks more and good. I’ve heard Glen Rothes is what Macallan used to be, and in the low $40s.

    Another good Islay would be the Laphroig 10-year-old, which I would drink any time, at about $40. I’ve had Tomatin, and it’s quite good, but I can’t find it around here anywhere.

    I can’t afford the 18-year-old Macallan anymore, so I’ve learned to bargain shop.

    You can fool around with the various “finish” variants, where they age mostly in oak and then move over to sherry casks, or madeira casks, or whatever. Most of those are not unpleasing, but I haven’t tried a big sample. You have to start with a decent whiskey to begin with, I suspect; the finish is just icing.

  94. bh says:

    Thanks Slart.

    Good deal, I have a bunch of options now. Off to the liquor store.

  95. Slartibartfast says:

    Everything I know about Scotch I learned from my brother, just about.

    Said brother lives, when he’s not travelling, not all that far from Jeff. If Centennial is still close to where Jeff lives, that is.