Here’s one of those sentences you imagine you can go your whole life without hearing, but then you hear it, and you’re like, “Wow. I figured I could go my whole life without hearing that crazy sentence”:

A man who hammed it up in an Australian bar by donning pork chops as shoes is being sued by a customer who claims he broke his arm when he slipped on the grease.

Here’s another:

According to his complaint, [Michael] Bowron is suing the bar and [bar owner Kelly] Wells for negligence for ‘permitting the use of pork chops as footwear in circumstances that the defendant knew, or should have known, that such use would have produced a hidden trap.’

Freakin’ Aussies.