U.S. Energy Secretary Stephen Chu announced his resignation this morning amid new reports that Alameda County workers had unearthed more than a dozen additional dead hobo bodies at his former home in Berkeley, California. The Nobel Prize-winning physicist had been the subject of a week-long controversy after he amended his White House application form to declare “3 or 4” hobo corpses in his crawl space, but after this morning’s discovery, Chu said he felt he could no longer serve as an effective spokesman for Administration energy policy.
“Getting America on the road to energy independence requires a secretary focused full time on developing comprehensive strategies for alternative fuels, rather than a political distraction over a handful of decomposing drifters,” said Chu. “I’m afraid I am no longer that person.”
What? No waiver? The politics of personal destruction is so disheartening.
I like “Obamanominee” because it reminds me of Wisconsin.
Did they check the trunk of his car yet? Unload the hobo, get better gas mileage…
Give it time.
“…homemade beef jerky…”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Although on second thought, shouldn’t that be “homemade pulled pork”?
“The Decomposing Drifters” would be a good name for a folk band.
“Unload the hobo, get better gas mileage…”
Do that, along with properly inflating your tires, and we’ll save (reaches into ass for a number) 50 billion gallons of gas a year!
Some Secretary of Energy. Any Berkleyite should know that hobos can power fuel cells. This guy probably wasted enough hobos to power his home for a month. Disgraceful.
The important thing is, were the hobos properly inflated?
Wait, you’re telling me that Ace’s real name is “Stephen Chu”?!?
That’s funny… he doesn’t look Chu-ish.
Anyone completely sure Al Gore isn’t a dead hobo? I’m not.
Which is important, Percy, as 500 million people per month all across these 57 states lose their jobs every month.
I’m working on getting fired at least twice a month. That way, my wife can build up some seniority.
Menominee is in Michigan, Dan.
Too bad we can’t go to Wisconsin because going to Wisconsin is the same as going to Czechoslovakia, and there isn’t a Czechoslovakia anymore, so we can’t go to Wisconsin. Which was exactly like it.
Menominee is in Michigan, Dan.
The cheeseaters have their own. And they have Oconomowoc, too. Jane Wiedlin was born there. I had a crush on her back in the day. And when she played Joan of Arc in Bill & Ted, that was just the awesomest.
I don’t think Osummest is a town in Wisconsin, though. Or Michigan.
On topic, I think that they are forgetting the service that this nominee has given his community, state, and nation in his personal efforts to solve the homeless problem. Such a ‘Can Do’ spirit should be rewarded, not used as a political club to derail a nomination. If every cabinet level appointment could do so the enivrons of Washington, and the political climate there would be changed.
Let us face reality; the ‘Rumsfeld Strangler’ is no longer in Washington, and his work needs to go on.
Chris Matthews – you say you want to work to help this Administration succeed? Then pitch in and do your part, not only in sloppy obsequious adoration on tv, but getting down to the fulfilling task of solving the homeless problem, and the high cost of housing, in our nation’s capital.
Together we can make a difference in the lives of all Americans – especially Hobo-Americans.
Yes We Can!
We can’t go to Wisconsin, Dan. Like we can’t take a joyride in an up-armed and armored stolen US Army recreational to Czechoslovakia.
*sigh* The world has gotten a little grayer for the passing of Czechoslovakia and its mirror-image, Wisconsin.
For those who haven’t already done so, be sure to read the entire post over at Iowahawk. This is one of his best. Should also include a link to the Onion’s ritual killing of a hobo video.
The obvious solution is to break Wisconsin into two states: Wisland (Madison) and the Cons Republic (the rest of the state).
And we should not forget a shout out to Dr Chu, who is turning jobless hobos into jobs for backhoe operators.
#18 SBP:
It would be a start – then we would have access to that cheesy goodness and not have to rely on foreign cheese suppliers.
Although Pinconning makes some mighty fine cheese.
We will always have Pinconning.
Obamanominee
“Gateway to Martinette”
Menominee has a mighty fine municipal harbor with the flags of nations flying from it. Just ignore the Icelandic flag – it doesn’t mean they are Scandi-sympathizers. Honest, it doesn’t. They are progressive, they have the PRC flag.
And you know the PRC would never be involved in something so underhanded as Scandi-ism.
This will probably piss a few people off, but Tillamook, Oregon stomps the entire state of Wisconsin into the dirt when it comes to cheesy goodness.
The last time I was in rural Wisconsin, I was fascinated by the way that different towns had the flags of different Scandinavian countries on display (one little burg would have Norway, the next one Sweden or Denmark). I hope a modern=day Gustavus Adolphus doesn’t turn up — Scandi civil war is an ugly thing.
I take umbrage , Mikey. And while I’m at it I’ll have that wallet.(rimshot)
Minominee Falls, Wisconsin. An outlaying suburb of Milwaukee.
Has anyone notified Atlanta’s local ABC news readers about this? One of them recently reported that the body of a decomposed man had been found just off the perimeter highway. She is also the person who reported an incident of suspected antisemitism because the young man beaten by a city gang had been wearing a “yarmalook.”
There is only one, true, Menominee. And we Michiganders (yes, we are always Not In Season) will defend its honor to the last cold beer and the last pasty.
Say yah to da UP, eh?
Gustavus Adolphus? Huh, we’re too tuff fer da likes of ‘im. I got a frozen whitefish dat says so.
“Rust and smoke,
da heater’s broke,
da door just blew away,
I light a match
to see da dash,
and den I starts to pray,
da frame is bent,
da muffler went,
da radio, its okay.
How much fun it is to drive
dis rusty Chevrolet.”