protein wisdom predicts the Oscars®!*

Best Picture: Gandhi

Best Actress: Sissy Spacek, Coal Miner’s Daughter

Best Actor: Gene Hackman, The French Connection

Best Supporting Actress: Marisa Tomei, My Cousin Vinny

Best Supporting Actor: Christopher Walken, The Deer Hunter

Best Director [pick ’em]: Martin Scorsese, Raging Bull or Larry Cohen, It’s Alive

Bet the farm.

*Well, we haven’t seen enough of this year’s nominated films or performances to make informed predictions. C’mon, Monster’s Ball? — was that even in theaters, for Chrissakes?

[update: Wait, Whoopi Goldberg is hosting this year? Crud. Well, “Touched by an Angel” it is, then.

update (the second): We’re so so so soooo glad that Randy Newman finally won an Oscar. No drippy Disney/Elton John schlock to derail him this year (though we do love that McCartney “Vanilla Sky” tune, we must say…). Anyway, the songs Newman did for Major League are some of the best songs ever written for a motion picture. Call us crazy.]