I have to go teach again, but, inspired by an airline catalog, I’m asking for you to post links to whatever you view as the most useless gadget a bored businessman who thinks his worth is defined by owning stuff can buy.
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the most worthless gadget ever is the hot dog toaster. hands down.
Who cares! The Pogues are coming!
The combo blog page obstructor / bottle capper.
A Sharper Image condom stretcher.
The personal ionic breeze distributor seems like a nice fat boondoggle. I hear it doubles as an “I Am An Uptight Asshole” Medallion.
But hey, maybe they’re sinus sufferers.
Barack Obama.
MSNBC
The Chin Gym.
Comment by Mossberg500 on 11/25 @ 8:20 am #
MSNBC
Any audio/video device airing MSNBC. Sorry for the misunderstanding. I blame Pablo Abu Jamal for referencing Barack Obama. It should be a Barack Obama teleprompter!
This has been pretty fun for me:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/electronics/musical-instruments/a02a/
Being a businessman who doesn’t have freakin’ time to be bored, I’d go with this one.
But it only comes in white..RACIST!!11!1!!111!!!!
I’ve always wanted a virtual, programmable bumper sticker.
Here’s the next best thing.
Right now the most useless gadget in my life is the office telephone as it refuses to ring with customers wanting to buy product.
At this rate my entire office may become a useless gadget!
How about a mini-hovercraft?
Pendulous breasts.
This doesn’t really qualify as gadgetry – yet still something that ought to be considered useless. Even IF “boxers can be so bulky”.
Alright, maybe not useless..
There is the “climate control, energizing massage, and chafing and insect protection.” And the alluring flash of a well-turned ankle to consider.
Did you really mean useless? How about a $460 Yo-Yo? (Sounds like a euphemism for the stock market, I know.)
Ha! A set of Remote Control Jousting Knights!
George Foreman USB grill.
The Hank Paulson Stupidity Meter
The United States Congress
Prius.
A Mercedes SUV
serr8d:
About that programmable license-plate frame: Lileks had suggestions for those, including programming pi to some number of digits but getting one WRONG and seeing how long before a numbers geek puts an angry note on your windshield.
The Pogues are coming
You mean the band, from the 80’s? Details!
Windows.
Microsoft or the kind you jump out of after the market has a bad day – week – eternity.
USB Aquarium.
I mean–fake fish?
Or a scrolling LED beltbuckle.
Cruise control in an M3
Remote control jousting knights? $460 yo-yo’s? Mini-hovercraft? Joan obviously doesn’t understand the concept of “formerly unheard of, but immediately essential upon creation”. Like the breast implant.
I know, Vman. I too, think they’re amazing must-haves. And the snowball machine gun. And the mini ufo’s. But I sure as hell don’t need breast implants.
Perhaps we should repair to Thurber and White for an answer to Dan’s query?
I saw the snowball gun on teevee the other night. Totally awesome. Breast implants? Can’t see much of a reason for them.
Randy Andy’s love nuggets? Don’t need ’em to play catcher.
But seriously, the food processor. Incredibly handy once every thirteen years when we’ve got a bumper crop of something that needs canning. Otherwise, it takes longer to clean than it would to chop or slice with a knife whatever needs chopped or sliced. After a couple years of not using it we took it off the counter and put it in the cupboard. After another ten years of not using it we put it back in the box on a shelf in the garage, where it’s stayed for another 10 years. Oh, and did I mention that the freakin’ thing cost several hundred bucks? I think we actually used it twice. But it was a “must have”.
# 1 Moflicky Damned straight!! My mother and I were going through a catalogue looking for a gift for my sister, ran into that and we both said WTF!! I suppose if you have 8 teenage boys? maybe, but otherwise? FAIL
Swen? I use mine about every 4-5 days. easy to clean and comes with many different chopping/slicing blades.
Now if you want a REALLY useless attachment, try a wife!!
Oh, about the processor…full disclosure. I cook for the Salvation Army once a week, just supplying them with things like Ham and turkey salad sandwiches, diced carrots, you know, like a prep cook.
food processor rawks! I used to use ours maybe every other week or so… whenever I ran out of hummus. but RaTsO doesn’t like that stuff, so I don’t take up fridge space with it anymores. It’s just better at pulping large amounts of things quickly than a blender.