From “Tongaroo” again:
Dood…if you’re so certain you got me pegged with your mad googling skills, come out here and show me how big a man you are…or are you afraid? You’re nothing but a pussy pseudo-intellectual, who thinks since a bunch of mouthbreathing morons worship your cock-slapping antics, that you actually have something of worth to contribute. Pfffffft.
To which I reply, is there anything more sad than having a guy careful to hide his identity and whereabouts dropping the cyber gauntlet?
I live in Colorado. I’ll be in Boulder Dec 8-13 shooting a video. Email me for directions.
Because honestly? I’m happy to take two minutes out of the shooting schedule to meet with you, Mr “Tongaroo,” and snap your shin like a Slim Jim the instant you make a threatening move. Then spend a minute and a half taking pictures.
Consider that an open invitation.
update: Blogging is silly, is the lesson of the day.
Point taken, universe.
The guy calls you ‘dude” but spells it ‘dood’. There is no way you can take this ‘dood’ seriously. Nothing important was ever preceeded by the term, “dood”.
oh. Please definitely do take pictures so I can have them for my shrine of cock-slapping antics.
Yeah, this happens from time-to-time, Jeff, as I’m sure you realize.
I was in a dust-up with another commenter on a different blog several years ago prior to the ’06 general election in Canada, and at one point the commenter made the statement that I was a “liar” and a fraud (i.e., I actually wasn’t using my real name in my comments, nor were some statements about my past and present political affiliations [both familial and personal] true). I countered by saying that I was the only Garth Wood in SW Calgary and that he was more than welcome to look me up in the phone book or online and come to my house and make those statements/accusations in person (he intimated that he lived in Calgary as well).
His response? He resorted to the usual “Gee, if I was gay and looking for a date, mebbe I’d take you up on it” bull; which was all I needed to realize the guy was a hot-air-filled douchebag. Rather than continue the “conversation,” I just gave up, ’cause there really was no further point.
Although it was an enlightening moment to see a self-identified leftist once again go for the “gay smear.” Why do so many of these guys rant about equality for gays and in the next breath use “gay” as an insult?
Bizarre.
Garth
I get a kick out of how people try to portray themselves on the internet. They brag about their education, wealth and physical prowess. “Tangaroo”…oooooooouuuuhhh…sounds extremely butch. What a fucking tool…no wait…limp wristed panty waist! He’s probably a Bill Ayers kind of courageous intellect, you know, the kind of person who bombs places due to the fact he hasn’t the guts to confront someone in person.
I’m shocked,SHOCKED, to hear there’s cockslapping going on here!
oh. Bill Ayers and Baracky I think bonded over their mutual cowardiceyness. You live in Hyde Park mostly when you’re afraid of Chicago I think.
Good to see you’re relevant as ever Jeff, it’s not like cock-slap blogging got old sometime in 2004. Really.
Mmmm… I love the sound of shin-snapping in the morning! Really focuses the senses.
Lightning bolt! LIGHTNING BOLT!!!
“Tangaroo” is a slang term used by Australian furries, I’m pretty sure.
Mr Scrotum – I think you need to address your criticism to Mr. Tongaroo.
Cock slapping is not a fashion trend, it is a way of life.
And this is precisely why sometimes I despise the internet.
Of course people will be morons no matter what, internet or no internet, but it just seems so much more concentrated with the whole “anonymous commenter” or “anonymous emailer” thing.
His mommy didn’t love him. So just feel sorry for Tongaroo.
While his marrows ooze, of course.
Jeff:
The proper phrase is ‘to discuss matters’. Whether the discussion devolves into a ‘wall to wall discussion’ is another matter.
Do not leave an actual public threat in written form.
Is #7 a new testicular-deficient scribbler of the Family Poltroon or just one of our usual f[r]iends?
Pfffffft?
Real men make this noise without their mouth.
Blogging isn’t silly.
People who blog (or read or comment) can behave in a foolish manner, though. Just like the guy from accounting who gets real drunk at the Christmas party, Xerox’s his ass, and pins it up copies in the lunchroom.
Comment by Carin on 11/23 @ 1:06 pm #
He’d be a ham, right?
Well, you keep me entertained, and informed. So if that’s silly…send in the clowns, baby!
Mssrs. Tongaroo and Scrotum are the sort of people who’d hyperventilate about seeing turkeys killed.
Yawn at them both, Jeff.
Darleen, you misspelled Mr. Scrotum’s likely familial alignment: It’s D-I-C-K-W-I-T.
I thought cockslapping was a MMA striking technique.
Ah, another cyberspace superman…
Shielded by anonymity, they are free to engage in the kind of behavior they would never dream of in public; for the very real fear of well deserved bodily harm…
Although folks are, unfortunately, far less polite in general these days, the internet seems to suffer from outright vitriolic commentary; I believe the turn of the phrase is that it is a feature, and not a bug…
But I might be wrong…
Although technically competent, and able to use computers as a tool for number-crunching and presentation, I’m still pretty new to the blogosphere and the internet lingo…
But, the internet seems to add 8 inches in height, 10 inches to the biceps and chest, and 12 inches to the thigh, measurements of all of the most hate filled commenters…
I mean, they become a legend in their own mind…
Jeff, you doin’ steroids with your workouts?
No.
I gotta say that Jeff has slapped a few people where the sound crossed the Rockies, barreled down the Colorado River and blasted across the Mojave all the way to the coast.
needless to say the recipients hold a grudge.
Their faces should appear in any wikipedia entry on “penis envy”.
Got some Royal Cockslapping for the ladies. It’s why the Internet was invented, unfortunately. No, English royalty is NSFW.
Thanks David McKinnis, I needed the laugh.
Jeff, Kick his ass, by all means…but, really, a Slim Jim does not snap. It sort of bends. Just saying.
Snap into a Slim Jim, alex.
intimidation via email
his avatar must be ferocious
yelling at his neglectful mother
for poorly executed sandwich delivery
due to failed breadcrust removal
armwrestling grandmother for the remote
cause Lawrence Welk re-runs are teh sux
tangaroo the mighty he proclaims
while staring at his insignificant manhood
“Tangaroo†is a slang term used by Australian furries, I’m pretty sure.
Properly, “poontangaroo.”
Watching a drama queen call out a blogger makes me chuckle a bit. I know, I know…being a “dumb jock” made us automatically “mouthbreathing morons.” (my best friends from our state champion baseball and football teams went to Columbia, Penn, Michigan, Wake Forest, Indiana, Illinois, …and became: 3 doctors, all surgeons/1 neurosurgeon, a Wharton graduate, a judge, two trial attorneys, two CEO’s and one author.)
Virtually all of those mentioned above were honor students. One captained Columbia’s baseball and football teams and led the Ivy league in home runs and rbi’s.
But we were “mouthbreathing morons” because we weren’t in the drama club….and were “dumb jocks”. Now, to be fair, a couple of our guys did not do well academically. A couple went to junior college. Some didn’t graduate from college. It’s not for everyone, this learnin’ stuff.
But I always chuckle at the drama queen guys who come on the internet and do a cyber “call out”. Because each year they would ask me to coach a charity softball game that they arranged. And if you have ever seen the drama club play softball, every time your memory recalls the moments…it is hard to stop laughing out loud. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be cruel…but, really…you have to trust me on this. Whatever you are imagining…simply is not funny enough.
It is NOT the fact that they aren’t great athletes or “manly men” that is funny…it is the combination of that memory with the “calling out” that keeps me in tears and my sides aching from laughter. Too funny for words.
Jeff, honestly…if you want to sell tickets, I would like to buy a front row seat and donate it to your site. With the economy in the porcelain swirl and classic liberalism in the fight of its life…I could use a hearty laughfest. Boulder is a nice enough place to make it a worthwhile expense…I can fly into Avon, stay a night or two and then drive to Boulder and stay at the St. Julian….it would make for a nice trip…for this two minute event.
Cfbleachers – Thanks for the laughs. The mental pictures were hysterical.
….update: Blogging is silly, is the lesson of the day/Point taken, universe….
Blogging is sublime.
(Universe sends contradictory/paradoxical message, as usual)
Forget “Tongaroo” or whoever. If anyone needs a shin snap (or two), it’s Hank Paulson…
Crocidile Dundee: I took a great big hot steamy tangaroo in the outback, mate. I feel much better.
Crocidile Dundee: I took a great big hot steamy tongaroo in the outback, mate. I feel much better.
There’s a few PW’ers who want to know where I live. Evidently they want to come over for a knuckle sandwich and tea.
All I ask is that you call ahead so that I can put on my white Obama/Biden victory t-shirt on (yes, that prized collectible victory t-shirt that was offered exclusively for a $30 donation). With respect to resell value on Ebay, I believe blood from the nose of a true red state r-winger would give my Obama victory t-shirt an almost priceless splash of color. Don’t think I wouldn’t. I’d be way too happy sell your blood splatter all over my Obama t-shirt.
thor-hammered! Starting bid, $500.
When my nose bleeds, I lose an IQ point for every cc of blood that drips out. BTW, the French do all my fighting. They did that bang up job with Hezbollah in southern Lebanon.
If you wanna see something funny google “French military victories” and look at the first entry.
#40
Try to get this through that razor slit in your head that occaisionally lets in a photon of information.How it is processed in that brown ‘Cheese Wiz’ of a brain of yours is anybodies guess. Freak of nature doesn’t begin to describe it.
Nobody Cares
Take your little wish fulfillment fantasy and your parrot back to the bar and finish cleaning the toilets like a good little rager.
bye.
thor, your internet courage is only exceeded by your ego!
Aren’t “Tongaroo†kids underpants?
The kind thor wears on his head?
Was he decent enough to tell you where “out here” is, or do you have to figure it out for yourself?
There is no bravery like internet bravery, I guess.
thor, speaking strictly for myself: no interest in fighting you, and the outcome would not make you any less of a piece of shit. It’d be a complete waste of time.
No, he gave me no clues as to whereabouts. But I’m thinking, from his accent, that he did some school in UGA, maybe spent some time in Colorado, Alaska, Ohio, Oregon, and Louisiana. He seems like a dog person, too — which is laudable. We can talk about that perhaps after he wakes up.
Oh. And I’d say, from tonal inflection, that he’s roughly 38 or 39 and is less New Orleans than he is Lafayette. An ecologist and conservationist, I’d say — given that his language is at once overly flowery and sparse. And the hot air tells me he’s one of those people who tries to compensate for his own fat carbon footprint by setting rules for others to follow: recycles, but when outside in the woods, farts like a cow.
A methane-rich ruminant cudlip!
Smells like a Mark to me.
But all this is just me showing off my semiotic skill. Parr for the course, really.
The technical term for such analysis, by the way, is Platismatia.
As grammy always told me, lay a million eggs or give birth to one.
Maybe thor and tongaroo could get together and exchange their most pugnacious internet comments. We’ll need to hide the womens and childrens!
Now that I re-read the email, I’d say Mark is closer to 41 than 38. Spent some time in MS, too. Missed some of the punctuation hints earlier.
Tongaroo? Sounds aboot as scary as a duck-billed platypus.
platypi have poisonous barbs is my understanding. I’ve never seen a poisonous platypus barb thinger, but that’s part why their so dangerous I guess.
I never knew you could tell so much from the way an email is written. Me, I’d just go directly to peeking at the header to see how it was routed. That’s probably boring, though.
There not dangerous when they’re snapped off.
Dunno why “mouth-breathing” is such a favorite put-down of leftoids. Maybe we can tape his mouth shut and run him a dozen miles or so, and see how well the nasal route serves the needs of his Krebs cycle.
Which, I’m guessing, anyway, has a couple of flat tires.
“mouth-breather” I think is a word you pick up from watching tv and movies with a certain sensibility. The kind of sensibility where they use words like “scumbag” what nobody really uses very much in real life but they figure that’s all they can get away with. The key thing here is that the person what calls someone else a mouth-breather in tv and movies with that sensibility is always very cool and super-clever and imperially thin and photogenic.
thor…what kind of tea?
Jeff, they’re not dangerous when they are snapped off, but remain tasty when battered and deep fried.
happyfeet, mouth-breathing for aliens, (especially “grays”) is a pejorative term. They look down on humankind with those bulbous black eyes and that little Pia Zadora nose, and waiflike bodies. If you call them ugly they deviate your septum, though.
“Tongaroo”, translated from “gray” language, means one who farts in the bathtub and bites the bubbles. Also can mean, “sniffer of bicycle seats”. I learned this from a drama club “Trekkie”, who once called out Richard Simmons for putting down Spock’s ears. The fight went 12 rounds, Simmons had better cardio output. (note: at the end he was breathing from his mouth)
Dude, the Princess spends $50 every time she goes to Teavana. Many flavors of whites and greens and she serves some with local honey, so, you know, hell if I know, unless you’re wanting me to go and look and make out a menu.
if you spend fifty bucks at Teavana you’ve got to buy those special containers that keep the antioxidants from oxidizing. sounds wierd, but i swear that’s the explanation, in summary.
thor, if you’re expecting any response to your forlorn plea for attention and physical contact, the least you could do is offer something that someone might find somewhat appealing. So, yes, make with the tea menu and fill my gas tank, bitch.
If you wanna see something funny google “French military victories†and look at the first entry.
They won the French Revolution, which they also lost?
Pfffffft.
“Sonny, didn’t your mother ever tell you you weren’t old enough to let your lips break wind?”
Btw, any of you Outlaws have an actual Skeleton hanging in your living room?
Well, it ain’t a skeleton yet, but that’s the fault of time and oxygenation rates, not me.
Teavana I think is still mostly a Southern thing but they recently got one near here I think. Sherman Oaks maybe has one. My sister wanted me to get into it but I didn’t. I think it’s mostly some “loose tea” arcanery you have to buy whatsits for to make. I don’t want any more whatsits unless I get a bigger kitchen. That is my comment on Teavana. I ended up on their email list for some reason.
I’m making a trip to Lafayette, then to Mountain View, CA, after I’m done shooting my video.
OUTLAW style!
I just buy the Twining’s or Taylor’s of Harrowgate from Amazon.
Never heard of Teavana, but their web site makes me suspect that it’s for the “sitzpinkler” type of tea drinker. A check your testicles at the door sort of place. Lots of scented candles and moisturizing lotion on hand, too, I’ll bet.
Twining’s and Taylor’s are for the kind of tea drinkers who conquer 25% of the friggin’ planet.
You are going to visit Google? I’ve never gone. Other Guy goes sometimes but he never made it sound like any fun, and it’s kind of an ordeal to get there I thought the way he told it and I’m not sure what if anything you do at night really. He’s never had any stories.
The google people I’ve worked with for real call each other “googlers” and it’s sort of off-putting or at least it makes me remember you have to score just so on a personality test there before they hire you. Creepyish at best I think that is, and just kind of dorky. Yahoo! people are cooler than Google people except for their soon to be ex ceo dumbass guy who seems like an all-around tool.
No, not visiting google. I have other things in mind.
cfbleachers – That was hysterical. Thanx.
There’s a few PW’ers who want to know where I live. Evidently they want to come over for a knuckle sandwich and tea.
Evidently, that’s just your false bravado giving you paranoid delusions. Some of us are tired of your caustic threats and are securing screencaps of each and every one, to be turned in later to your local authorities.
Jeff: Don’t be evil.
Some of us should just stay away, then, and either grow a thicker skin, or don’t come back.
Some of us seem to forget that one of our freedoms is freedom to just stay the hell away.
Think about this: the two greatest French military heroes are a foreigner and a teenage girl.
Comment by Slartibartfast on 11/25 @ 7:18 am
I’m not referring to his insulting statements, I’m talking about his THREATS of doing someone bodily harm.
Also, your invitation to disinvite myself from reading pw is hereby declined, and I will continue to call out thor when i see fit.
BTW, Slart, why defend him? You consider him a friend, or something?
Eh? Whatever gave you that idea? thor is insane, and not worth getting all distraught over. Getting you all distraught is pretty much what he lives for, so why give him the satisfaction?