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The “Sunday is a day of rest” post (aka, open thread for stories you wish to discuss while I go food shopping, watch football, and try to clear my head of the events of the last week)

Outlaw tip of the day: if life gives you lemons, find out where life hangs out when it ain’t handing out sour citrus fruits, wait for it to get drunk on Beam and Coke, then jump it, drag it behind a dumpster, and take whatever cash or drugs it happens to have on it.

Oh — and you might want to fuck up its chopper, too, just to send a message.

211 Replies to “The “Sunday is a day of rest” post (aka, open thread for stories you wish to discuss while I go food shopping, watch football, and try to clear my head of the events of the last week)”

  1. Big D says:

    “When life gives you lemons, find someone to whom life has given vodka and have a party.”

    -Ron White

  2. cjd says:

    Life can kiss my arse. It won’t give me free gas.

  3. TmjUtah says:

    I won’t even mention Rocket Cars.

    Damn.

  4. Lyndsey says:

    …and steal life’s harness boots so you can sell them and buy beer. Unless they fit, of course, then wear them like the badass you are.

  5. Jeff G. says:

    Just got me a pair of Sendra biker boots on clearance.

    David Beckham wants to be me, is how badass I am.

  6. orichky says:

    We should outlaw outlaw names.

  7. I posted naked pictures of life on the internet.

  8. Silver Whistle says:

    You can make pie with lemons.

  9. It was Life’s own fault. In the age of camera phones it’s just not smart to get wasted on Southern Comfort and whip-its and play a game of strip Guitar Hero. Especially not against a ringer team like Sleep and Persistent Vegetative State. All those two motherfuckers do is play video games.

  10. geoffb says:

    Lemon bars are good too.

  11. Lyndsey says:

    Bad Boys of the Internet…all y’all. Biker boots and baking.

  12. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Stay away from lemon parties, though.

    Those are…disturbing.

  13. Darleen says:

    Bad Boys of the Internet…all y’all. Biker boots and baking.

    I plan in crocheting a mean pair of chaps.

  14. Silver Whistle says:

    I plan in crocheting a mean pair of chaps.

    Will you, um, be wearing, um, anything under them?

  15. happyfeet says:

    I’m depressed.

  16. Diana says:

    That’s badass, Darleen.

  17. Darleen said crocheting, huhuhu.

    You know what you should do, start reading Architectural Digest. Do you know how heavy that mag is?

    Decorate your apartment in the South Corsican tradition, and read.

    Am I really the Messiah?

    Yes.

    I am.

    Believe it.

    Agony and suffering, you just can’t know these conceptualized un-American chickens that roost.

    Ruddy, bloody, cruddy spawn, make ’em mutes and keep their noses pressed against the floor!

    Jeff, define implore.

    “North, your South, and I said ‘shut your big mouth!'”

  18. Silver Whistle says:

    happyfeet,

    Are you depressed because Jeff has gone out, or because you’ve become scummy socialists like us Euroweenies?

  19. dre says:

    O! thinks lemons are bitter.

  20. happyfeet says:

    Both but the scummy socialists are the worst I think. Baracky is gonna make damn sure I’m stuck in my dead end job for as long as he can. It would be crazy to sign on with someone new until he finishes climbing on top of our formally free enterprise system and doing his business.

  21. happyfeet says:

    I said formally for formerly. See that’s just how awful it is.

  22. Mossberg500 says:

    Lemons make for good targets!

    fetch me some gas, bitch!

  23. Silver Whistle says:

    Haps,

    There’s pros and cons – now that the scummy socialists are in charge, you’ll look much better in your job compared to the deadbeats hanging around doing nothing and getting free gas. On the other hand, you’ll be paying half of your salary to maintain said deadbeats in the style to which they will be soon be accustomed. So, a wash, really.

  24. happyfeet says:

    It’s going to get bad and you’re right we’re not all in this together. Not this time. That’s the saddest part of it.

  25. Mossberg500 says:

    hf, O! said they’ll be high paying “green” jobs. You’re an intelligent person, so recast yourself as “happygreenfeet.”

  26. JD says:

    Frye harness boots are awesome. They get better every time you wear them. My Justin’s are pretty comfy too.

  27. happyfeet says:

    Green jobs are for shortbus kids I think. Unionized shortbus kids.

  28. Silver Whistle says:

    If you’re going to join us in singing the Internationale, you’ll have to start behaving like us. Leave off with the dental hygiene; don’t let NG shave her legs or armpits. Mess up your plumbing just enough so something smells a bit off. Start smoking French filterless cigarettes and drinking 3 day old reheated coffee. Get into the role – the world will claim you as one of them.

  29. Seth Williams says:

    This little Outlaw is going to a 5-year-old’s birthday party. The Man can’t chain my rebel spirit!

    VVVVVRRRROOOOOM!

  30. Lyndsey says:

    C’mon happy, can’t let this get to you. We’re going to make lemonade and wear crocheted chaps with our biker boots. (My boots have flames, btw.) That’s gotta make you smile, in spite of the events of the last few days. We will survive this bad administration the same way we’ve survived others. With a sense of humor…and lots of alcohol.

  31. ThomasD says:

    After marrying that reptilian spicething I’m sure David Beckham wants to be anyone other than David Beckham right about now.

  32. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    This should cheer you up. With special turtle shout-out to happyfeet!

    Also: spiders.

  33. ThomasD says:

    you’ve become scummy socialists like us Euroweenies?

    Oh brother, now I’m depressed.

    Does this mean I can’t bathe once for every day of the week?

  34. Mossberg500 says:

    Green jobs are for shortbus kids I think. Unionized shortbus kids.

    Then OUTLAW it is! Death to dirty socialism!!!

  35. Silver Whistle says:

    Does this mean I can’t bathe once for every day of the week?

    ThomasD, it means you bathe once a week. Embrace your inner socialist.

  36. happyfeet says:

    The mata mata has the right idea with the just hang out under water thing but I have no enthusiasm at all for the socialism. There’s just no upside at all and why is McCain still talking? If McCain was a mata mata I’d cork his snout I think.

  37. geoffb says:

    We can always sing…

    Baby you should pump my gas
    Pay my mortgage too real fast
    Baby you should pump my gas
    I didn’t elect him

    Beep beep’m beep beep yeah

  38. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I’m going to spend the rest of the day writing code for myself, I think.

    Not for anyone else.

  39. Mossberg500 says:

    why is McCain still talking

    He’s still a senator, and that’s what they do. Maybe he can get a gig with Bob Dole doing erectile disfunction treatment commercials. Every time I see him now, I’ll hear Beck’s Loser song in my head.

  40. happyfeet says:

    I talked to some normal conservative people friends in Texas this weekend and they were cheerful and I thought you are so high. Our preening dirty socialist president with his 95% tax cut lies will kill our poor little economy and the states sure aren’t on board with giving me no tax cut. Not these inane California people what couldn’t budget a taco cart. Dirty socialists and their dirty socialist shell games suck.

  41. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Hey, thor! This doesn’t sound like it’s going to help me get my free gas.

    What’s up with that, bitch?

    You’d BEST be coming up with the petrol soon, my man.

  42. dre says:

    O! also noticed that lemons tend to cling to their trees.

  43. Silver Whistle says:

    But haps, you can’t have a tax cut if everyone is going to get their free labiaplasty on the National Health Service. Somebody has to pay for this stuff.

  44. SarahW says:

    Here is my “Obama Goggles Song” I mentioned in the thread below as running through my head.. (“Brilliant Mistake”)
    Finally got some webspace sorted.

  45. Rusty says:

    feets. that’s what they’re counting on. They’re counting on us giving up. Counting on you to shut up and go away. Knuckling under and going along with the game. The last thing they want is for people like us to hang in there. Get in their faces. It ain’t over till you’ve assumed room temperature.
    Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.

  46. happyfeet says:

    Tax cuts hah. That would be unfair. Unspeakable perfume and labias what have been doctored up and hypoallergenic puppy dogs what cost more than M’chelles earrings even. I want my America back.

  47. happyfeet says:

    I’ll hang in there cause goonies never quit but the senselessness of it all is stunning. So many dreams deferred.

  48. psycho... says:

    The Patterico thing is still chewing my nuts.

    It may have started out as a not-on-the-same-wavelength deal, but since he’s not an illiterate blockhead, he’s now knowingly misrepresenting your contentions, setting up a strawman Other to disown in search of congratulation for an utterly false nobility.

    Like you said. Before it was the only explanation. So good call.

    And he’s doing it using Sullivan and Cole as wink-nod surrogates, so he can “argue” like it’s not you he’s really talking about. Then if you respond like he means what he obviously means, it’s because you recognize yourself in the characterization. Which was totally not about you. Totally. But if you say so! Ha!

    Absolute fucking coward.

    (And I know you’re out there, Allah, so hey — Try not being a bitch. Some of us remember when you weren’t. That guy was cool. But a pseudo-ironized beta is a gamma. More than ever, she’s not going to fuck you. Shake yourself.)

  49. happyfeet says:

    Everyone is always on about allah was so cool. I never knew that allah. The one I know is like how Owen Gleiberman described Daniel Radcliffe’s Hoppy Totter debut … “unremarkable in every way.”

  50. Silver Whistle says:

    You know what we do when Gordon Brown and his socialist paradise gets us down? We go to the pub and get bladdered. Short term remedy, but it works.

  51. urthshu says:

    >>
    Get into the role – the world will claim you as one of them.

    I was kinda thinking like The Mole from South Park.

    Kyle Broslofski: Hey, Mole, be careful.
    Mole: Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while still in the womb?
    Stan Marsh: Man, that kid is fucked up!

    [making a sound like a dying giraffe]

  52. happyfeet says:

    It’s just the alcohol taxes only subsidize Baracky’s spoogey dirty socialist wet dreams. Nothing is pure and good anymore.

  53. Silver Whistle says:

    Listen mate, I’ve got to go to the pub now, because I’m going to get bladdered, but keep yer pecker up. Remember, no matter how bad it gets over there, it still isn’t as bad as Belarus.

  54. J.Dahmer says:

    Fuck em if they’ve assumed room temperature.

    Wait, sorry wrong thread…

  55. happyfeet says:

    Jeff was right I think that Mr. Patterico had his sort of on this rock I will make my stand nicey nice screed written weeks ago and that’s fine I think cause he’s sort of in the same position as Liesl’s boyfriend but all he had to say to any criticism I think was I understand how you might feel that way.

  56. urthshu says:

    Make your own beer hf. its both fun and gurgly

  57. happyfeet says:

    That’s true about the Belarus.

  58. McGehee says:

    in search of congratulation for an utterly false nobility.

    As I said in another thread long ago, the love of money ain’t got nothin’ on the love of status, for being the root of all evil.

    It’s as if many of the onetime lights of the dextrosphere never knew what it was like to not have their friends in power. Without that wisdom to draw upon, they fear following the example set by the other side since 2000, and are over-correcting.

    In my neck of the woods, nearly every single-vehicle fatality is the result of over-correcting.

  59. happyfeet says:

    Gosh, urthshu. I give myself major points if I make my own sammich. That’s extremely ambitious, beer. I’m committed to doing persimmon cookies over thanksgiving though. That will be a major big deal.

  60. urthshu says:

    Nah, its surprisingly easy. Used to be your wife would make it in the kitchen and stock it to the cellar. B/c water was teh suck and you could make beer bread, stews, and etc

  61. happyfeet says:

    ok to be honest I hardly ever drink except for work. It’s on the list of things I will do more of later with video games and ripping actual books and ripping my cds.

  62. happyfeet says:

    oh. *reading* actual books I meant. I only read now when I travel. It’s very wrong.

  63. urthshu says:

    OK but you drink at work? No wonder mr hopeychangey has you down. Thats gonna end

  64. SarahW says:

    ::wonders if there is such a thing as persimmon beer::

  65. SarahW says:

    Why yes, yes, there is.

  66. urthshu says:

    Yes, there is persimmon beer. I’ve got the recipe somewheres in all my stuff.

  67. happyfeet says:

    Clients at lunch and after work sometimes and our company is generally very boozey. The old school ones will still drink at lunch anyway and it’s wrong not to drink if they drink. This is getting off-topic. I wonder where buttons is? A four for four thinger right now would be cheering I think.

  68. SarahW says:

    “The more meaty and flavorous the persimmons, the richer will be the beer”

  69. urthshu says:

    Hey, you found one. The one I had includes a kind of banana mash. Never made it, though.

    I’ve done stouts, ales, wines, meads. Favorite is brown ales.

  70. happyfeet says:

    That’s interesting. Dan I think a long time ago linked a story about the stuff they make in jail and from there we found stories of it going horribly wrong I remember. It might could be a handy metaphor, soon.

  71. urthshu says:

    I suppose the easiest thing to do would be a hard cider, now that think on it. Kill off the wild yeasts, drop in some starter, pretty much.

  72. urthshu says:

    “stuff they make in jail” = raisin jack. Yep, made that once.

  73. happyfeet says:

    I didn’t understand the part about the touch of frost. Frost on your persimmons is good or if your persimmons get frosted then it’s all ruined? You want to say frosty persimmons are never a good thing but she was really unclear.

  74. happyfeet says:

    I’ve been listening a lot to the song nishi gave me. It’s happier than I am.

  75. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Making beer is dead simple.

    I’ve mentioned this before, but if you smoke you can get an injection machine, tubes and loose tobacco from an on-line (D&R Tobacco is a good outfit). You can make cigarettes that are the same as the store-bought ones, with better tobacco, for less than $1/pack. That way you’re not funding the dirty socialists to the tune of several dollars per day.

  76. SarahW says:

    It’s that pucker thing, I guess. Persimmons need to ripen or they are very sharp and puckery. Supposedly frost on the persimmon is necessary for them to soften and ripen.

  77. SarahW says:

    loose tobacco?

  78. SarahW says:

    That’s a surprise of beer-making.

  79. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Loose tobacco = tobacco in a can or pouch, as opposed to tobacco that’s been rolled into a cigar or cigarette.

  80. Mossberg500 says:

    loose tobacco?

    Sounds permiscuous, doesn’t it?

  81. happyfeet says:

    oh. Got it… I wonder if you should throw them in the freezer for a bit then? This making my own cigarettes thing is intriguing. That will be my plan B if Chantix fails me.

  82. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    You can get way technical with beer making if you want, but the basic process is about as hard as making bread.

    The most important thing, in my experience, is to use a good strain of beer yeast.

  83. Rich Cox says:

    #76 SarahW

    Just like Jerry Clower used to speak of all the time… LOL

  84. Rich Cox says:

    #82 And have a real good air trap… nor forget to use it. I woke up one morning with the stuff all over the kitchen ceiling.

  85. happyfeet says:

    Making your own cigarettes and beer and persimmon cookies is a lot befitting the outlaw I think.

  86. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Yep, it can get vigorous.

  87. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Indeed it is, happyfeet. Indeed it is.

  88. Douche Ex Machina says:

    Lemons for nothing? Would the “chicks” perhaps be “free?”

  89. Mossberg500 says:

    Gas.Now.Bitch.

  90. Rob Crawford says:

    Frost on your persimmons is good or if your persimmons get frosted then it’s all ruined?

    Eating a persimmon before the frost hits is like chewing on a wool sock. After the frost, they’re damned good.

    *sigh*

    Another thing I miss from the boyhood farm. We had a small stand of persimmon trees by the near pond. It was always a gamble to eat them, but they were worth the gamble.

    We also had pear trees that ruined me for store-bought pears.

  91. Mossberg500 says:

    We also had pear trees that ruined me for store-bought pears.

    Same here, Rob. Sam’s Club has quality pears, but they’re expensive.

  92. Rob Crawford says:

    Here’s my contribution to the brewing arts.

    Been a long time since I’ve brewed anything. Maybe it’s time to get back to it. Bottling always pissed me off — takes too long, it’s too messy, and I always worry that the seal won’t be good or I’ll get bottle bombs. Last batch I made I used mini-kegs, and that worked pretty well.

    Hmmm… too late for Thanksgiving, but maybe something Christmassy…

  93. Rob Crawford says:

    Same here, Rob. Sam’s Club has quality pears, but they’re expensive.

    For me, good isn’t just about flavor. If they’re not rock-hard, it’s not worth it.

  94. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I use 5 gallon stainless steel soda kegs, Rob.

    You’re right, bottling is a pain in the ass.

  95. Sdferr says:

    Unbottling, on the other hand, is teh shizzle.

  96. SarahW says:

    No no, I’m surprised at the involvement of loose tobacco in processing of beers. What’s the tobacco do?

  97. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Two different convos, SarahW.

    1) Making your own beer.
    2) Making your own cigarettes.

  98. lee says:

    oh. *reading* actual books I meant. I only read now when I travel. It’s very wrong.

    Books? HF, books are so passe. Meet the future.

  99. TmjUtah says:

    Making beer? Cleanliness first, then ingredients. You can make Irish Amber Ale. Use the hop pellets and grain extracts where you can, unless you are bound and determined to be a stone authentic brewer. I always found that my runs were best when I kept it simple.

    I made mead once, with several friends. Mead is honey based – not beer or ale – and it can ferment for a long, long time and still be spectacularly good. One inconvenient side effect is that you must raid villages on the Northern English coast when you are good and happily involved in taste testing. It is a rule. I still have my horn cup down in the basement somewhere.

    Chantix worked for me, btw. Five weeks and out. Had some weird dreams at the time I was using it, but made sure to eat a good diet and stayed hydrated without too much caffeine. Got to bed at reasonable hours. Something like fifteen months smoke free has passed now. I don’t fly up the mountain side as much as I am I’m not dead after a single flight of stairs like I used to be.

    I’m too stressed to be distressed.

    And the thought of crocheted outlaw chaps makes me smile.

  100. TmjUtah says:

    …as much as I am not dead after a single flight of stairs.

    and

    I’m too stressed to be depressed.

    There. That’s what was intended.

  101. happyfeet says:

    I know… I’m already sold but I want early adopters to lower the price for me first and also I played with one and thought it was just a bit clunky yet, the slider thingy needs work, but very close.

  102. happyfeet says:

    oh. Good job! I’m excited about the dreams. I never have any what I ever remember.

  103. lee says:

    Oh, I was hoping you would be an early adopter for me. ;-)

  104. happyfeet says:

    To clarify, a pseudo-ironized beta is a gamma, and I fear it’s true.

  105. happyfeet says:

    oh crap. That’s not just the wrong thread it’s the wrong blog.

  106. ushie says:

    Sigh. We had untreated, totally natural and never hybridized peaches and termaters. I can’t even look at what’s in the grocery stores now.

    Anyway, happyfeet, look at it this way: one of my co-irkers, all the time of Bush’s presidency, kept telling me that Bush was MY president, not hers. I am now gleefully awaiting the day when President (Elect) Obumblefuck screws up so much more obviously than merely insulting a fragile former First Lady and I can yell, “He’s YOUR president, not mine!”

    And I hate, really actually kinda surprisingly hate, Richard Bennett–surprisingly because I don’t waste hate even on people I actually know. Is that wrong of me? Hating Richard Bennett, who seems to have the harnessed brainpower of a dozen confused kittens and three drunken hummingbirds, I mean.

  107. happyfeet says:

    Our CEO had one and I played with it. He makes more than I do I think.

  108. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    I don’t hate Richard as much as I hate the people who indoctrinated him.

    He’s a tool (in every sense of that word) in the hands of others.

  109. happyfeet says:

    Who is Richard Bennett?

  110. happyfeet says:

    wikipedia no help at all

  111. Mossberg500 says:

    hf, Richard Bennett(dick), was a troll a couple of threads back. Had the usual dirty socialist memes, and kept repeating them ad nauseum.

  112. happyfeet says:

    oh. I kind of remember but he was really ignorable I think.

  113. Mossberg500 says:

    Yes, he was for real “trollhammer” worthy.

  114. happyfeet says:

    Was he the wall of text one? I get them mixed up.

  115. Hvy Mtl Hntr says:

    #70- A good resource before heading off to re-education camp:
    http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000373.php

  116. Mossberg500 says:

    No, just redundantly stupid. He went O/T to trash Sarah Palin, and he actually tried defending Joey Hairplugs. Epic Failure.

  117. Non-Smoker says:

    No no, I’m surprised at the involvement of loose tobacco in processing of beers. What’s the tobacco do?

    The tobacco infusion gives the beer a pungent aroma and a woody aftertaste. (I assume–I’ve never actually eaten tobacco, and I’m sadly out of beer money again.)

    You outlaws are missing out on a whole marketing opportunity, there: “When they outlaw cigarettes, only outlaws will have tobacco-infused beer!”

  118. geoffb says:

    “I’m already sold but I want early adopters to lower the price for me first”

    I thought those had been around for quite awhile. I remember using one by Laredo?, I believe, back in the early 70’s when I still smoked.

  119. Douche Ex Machina says:

    Nobody argues that leftists require strong central power structures. It was something Orwell could never resolve with his diet socialism (less calories, same great taste).”

    Bama’s buzzword should have been “abacadabra” not change. I would have voted for him then.

  120. SarahW says:

    #98 Spies – Oh thank goodness. I don’t know what’s real anymore.

  121. happyfeet says:

    oh. early Kindle adopters, geoff… last I checked they wanted $350 which seems off to me cause the business model is that you’ll pay $10 a book or so.

  122. urthshu says:

    No no no, Leftists are merely toreador to our brujah <–geeky

  123. alppuccino says:

    Sorry dudes. Late to the party. Gonna throw a new wrench into the gearworks of the great brain trust that is PW.

    In the second debate between Obama and Johnny Mac, Obama got off on one of his tangents about how all-around shitty George Bush is. So then he’s riffin’ on this tired idea and says “After 9/11, George Bush told America to go shopping. C’mon, what kind of leadership is that? That’s not leadership.”

    So now, Obama is trying to fast track a stimulus pkg so that he can start building this economy from the ground up, because he believes that when you give people money, they’ll, oh, I don’t know, go shopping, and that builds the economy.

    George Bush was telling people not to be afraid to go shopping because he would keep us safe – True.

    Obama says shopping will save this country – False.

    Obama is an idiot – True.

  124. alppuccino says:

    I’ll spend stimulus dollars. – False.

  125. lee says:

    Sunday is a day of planning. For a National Holiday for Obama. H/T Malkin.

    I’m getting tired of the taste of bile…

    You know, I wonder if it occurs to these people that is is American greatness, and the change that happened over the last 60 years that put Obama in the White house.

    Obama is the symbol of greatness, not the object.

  126. geoffb says:

    Ok, I agree on Kindle. I still like the feel and look of books though.

  127. lee says:

    it is, not is is…sigh.

  128. happyfeet says:

    Barackonomics is just a set of talking points I think. It has nothing to do with policeh.

  129. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    geoffb, I think I remember those Laredo machines. They were small hand-held thingers, weren’t they?

    Nowadays we have better technology. Here’s a video of how it works.

  130. lee says:

    Or, in other words, if you think it is Obama that is responsible, lets just change MLK day to BHO day.

  131. geoffb says:

    “I’ll spend stimulus dollars. – False.”

    Dollars are fungible so it doesn’t matter. Those dollars are the same as your other dollars. If you save them, they get loaned. If you invest them, someone else spends them. Burning the check just means the government spends it some other way.

    If/since you pay taxes consider it a one time tax cut.

    Not that I am for the stupid things. Cutting tax rates across the board is the way to go but Democrats view them like a vampire does a Cross.

  132. N. O'Brain says:

    We, not too long ago, made Mom’s lemon chiffon pie recipe.

    To die for……………..

  133. alppuccino says:

    You know what would be a good green job for a bunch of fat lazy losers?

    Build a huge wheel like those kind on Little House on the Prairie where cattle or horses are tied to it and they walk around and it grinds flour or something.

    But Obama should build one that is the size of Montana and tie all the lazy losers to a spoke and hang a Swiss Cake Roll just out of reach. If you get the gearing right, I think you could power up a big lit up Obama sign or something.

  134. urthshu says:

    “Bye-bye, empire. Empire, bye-bye

    Heh. I was reading about the Nerpa. Could be some strategic implications, given that it was supposed to be sold to India, Jan 09.

  135. geoffb says:

    Spies, thanks. I know they have improved as most everyone I know who smokes in Jenny Granholm land does “roll their own” or else drives to Indiana weekly.

    I quit in 1994 not because of cost but tired of the hassle of always having to have them with me everywhere and I wasn’t getting any pleasure any more. I’d smoked since I was 16 in the mid 60’s. So 30 years or so.

  136. geoffb says:

    “Build a huge wheel “

    Like the beginning of “Conan” the movie.

  137. happyfeet says:

    I have to really try quitting first but that video really sells it, spies. Stimulus checks don’t really resonate with the everyone will sacrifice mantra. It’s kind of confuzzling really. What’s the sacrificey part going to be?

  138. Hubris says:

    Everyone is always on about allah was so cool. I never knew that allah. The one I know is like how Owen Gleiberman described Daniel Radcliffe’s Hoppy Totter debut … “unremarkable in every way.”

    Allah is the blogger what was really funny and partisan yet sensible and didn’t rely on a repetition of faux country grammar and lack of punctuation for comedic effect I think.

  139. happyfeet says:

    I’m just not having a good day.

  140. geoffb says:

    Better story but same theme, submission.

  141. Salt Lick says:

    happy — This morning on Fox Sunday, Bill Kristol looked 10 years younger. He seemed amused by Obama’s election. So maybe he expects something positive we don’t. Or maybe he was just laughing at Juan Williams.

    I think a NASCAR event with your sister would shake things up in a positive way for you.

  142. N. O'Brain says:

    The ghost of electricty howls in the bones of her face……..

  143. N. O'Brain says:

    Sorry, one of the great lines of all time.

  144. Salt Lick says:

    and these visions of Johanna

  145. N. O'Brain says:

    These visions of Johanna

    Kept me up past the dawn…

  146. Salt Lick says:

    Inside the museum, infinity goes up on trial.

  147. N. O'Brain says:

    I got Pandora working…..

  148. happyfeet says:

    This is probably the best thing Bill Kristol’s magazine could have imagined in the way of catching a break I bet… NASCAR reminds me that Florida went blue, but some shaking up is definitely in order I think. And soon.

  149. Sean M. says:

    Call me a pessimist, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be happy if life even gives us lemons over the next four years.

  150. Hvy Mtl Hntr says:

    You can make prison wine w/ lemons; it just takes more sugar.

  151. Salt Lick says:

    happy — just remember that NASCAR has its roots in moonshine-running outlaws. See “Thunder Road.”

  152. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Home distilling. Purely for informational purposes — only legal if you live in New Zealand.

  153. N. O'Brain says:

    CSNY: “Ohio”

    Great song defending an indefensible position.

  154. geoffb says:

    “Bob Dylan’s 115th Dream”

    Great song defending… well anyways great song.

    N. O’Brain, you got me to pull out my Dylan and play some tonight. Thank you.

  155. SarahW says:

    #32 Spies – I posted that to my facebook today, I just saw your post. Was that jumping spider mating thing weird or what.
    I kept thinking of Allahpundit. If he were a spider, he would know he was about to be eated. But he would do it anyway.

  156. Douche Ex Machina says:

    “‘George Bush told America to go shopping. C’mon, what kind of leadership is that? That’s not leadership.'”

    And yet he supported some shopping at BAD MORTAGES R US. Rich always buys luxury goods. Economics 101.

  157. happyfeet says:

    Hah! Thanks N.O… that reminds me I got in trouble last week for explaining to NG that “Bell Bottom Blues” was “like really good emo” … don’t listen to him they said.

  158. N. O'Brain says:

    “Rich always buys luxury goods. Economics 101.”

    ‘Cept when the taxes go up.

    See Yachts, Luxury.

    Democrats destroyed yet another industry.

  159. sderrscat says:

    It’s dove season at my house, and the evenings gun blasts from the back 20 have ceased with the light.

    Been sounding like friggin Bahgdad out there…

    Made me kind of feel melancholy when I realized the passing of an era with the exit of Cheney.

    I mean, will we ever again have a VP with the good sense to shoot a lawyer in the face?

    I think not…

  160. happyfeet says:

    Cheney I liked immensely. Not as much as Rumsfeld, but immensely. I never got the deal on the rap on him.

  161. lee says:

    Oops, that was me mourning Cheney…*blush*

  162. happyfeet says:

    Biden won’t be a player I don’t think. Do I win something for biggest duh?

  163. Douche Ex Machina says:

    Thought you would all find this humorous (from KOS [as opposed to…]):

    “But that hardly means that the war for the soul of the country is over. For a very simple and obvious indicator of the work we have to do as progressives, we need look no further than to California – where, despite an overwhelming victory for Barack Obama in which he earned sixty-one percent of the vote…”

    If they had 99% it would have been better. Saddam Hussein better. Go California!

  164. Swen Swenson says:

    Thanks urthshu, now I’ll lie awake wondering what a dying giraffe sounds like. And I still don’t have my pony..

  165. happyfeet says:

    I didn’t even vote on Prop 8. Yes I maliciously want you to get married and sleep in the bed y’all made or yes I think we need to look out for these people and nip this thing in the bud. I figured let these California people work it out on their own.

  166. dre says:

    “Biden won’t be a player I don’t think”

    Gird your porkloins

  167. urthshu says:

    Swen –
    I was doing The Mole. NSFW

  168. lee says:

    Remember HF, every day without gay marriage is another day gay people gotta live in sin.

    It’s your fault those gay people look bad in Gods eyes, because you wouldn’t stand up for EQUALITY!!!

  169. lee says:

    Oh, and I don’t care about civil unions. Doesn’t bother me a bit.

    Don’t even care if civil unions are broadened to include polygamy. No skin off my nose.

    It just ain’t marriage.

  170. urthshu says:

    Hey hf – try this for a non-cheer-uppy but hmm-interesting thinger. It a series of comics that you should open in separate windows, putting them side by side b/c the action takes place at the same time, but from the POV of 7 characters. Its a distraction, y’know.
    cop
    addict
    guy
    girl
    crook
    older cop

    *hope this shows up!*

  171. urthshu says:

    Whew. OK 6 characters

  172. happyfeet says:

    I agree lee, mostly, but with more of a suspicion that they’ve been told they want marriage and sans marriage they are second-class citizens and they are I think a lot disappointingly falling in line with that no questions asked. It’s scary how people are so easily manipulated.

  173. pdbuttons says:

    there are known clowns
    there are known macy day parade blimps
    there are unknowm day old scones
    and then there’s the ‘missing’ bug’s bunny episode..

    keep ur happy up!
    teh turtle is undefeated

  174. Marx Brothers says:

    I think mormons should allow gay marriage for polygamists. The justice systems would take a shit when divorce cases like started showing up. Superior Court of Utah presents the case of Johnson vs. Smith vs. Doe vs. Roe vs. Poe, and the custody of their children Sally, Billy, Bobby, and Mae Johnson-Smith-Doe-Roe-Poe. I love this country.

  175. accurate pollster says:

    “Hang me just as high as you please, Brer Fox News Channel”, says Brer Rabbit, says he, “but for the Lord’s sake, don’t fling me in that Palin/Jindall 2012 briar patch,” says he.

    I, for one, welcome our inevitable Snowbilly/Darwin-denying overlords.

  176. geoffb says:

    The addict guy has been stealing things from Jeff’s couch I think.

  177. pdbuttons says:

    if i get behind u with my carriage
    and at a red light i see u squawking on ur cell-phone
    and when the light turns green u put on your left turn signal…
    can i marry my bumper to your ass?
    cuz that would be so gay marriage

    a crowbar’s just a tool
    to pry us apart
    ’tis not a sex toy

  178. happyfeet says:

    Counting’s worse than cutting was my favorite part. Buttons! oh. brb. Turtles are still outside and it’s getting cold at night.

  179. SarahW says:

    #139 Hubris – “didn’t rely on a repetition of faux country grammar”. Hey now. I love me some Allah but you know he was all about the repetition of the Allah-speak. Now that was some schtick. Which I loved. But it was schtick all the same.

  180. SarahW says:

    Gay people can get married like anyone else. Just not to someone of the same sex. I can’t do that either.

  181. happyfeet says:

    Thanks Sarah. For real I wish I had known the Allah of which the poets sing.

  182. lee says:

    You could be right HF, but these days it seems pretty easy to appeal to someones self interest by promising new benefits to their special identity group. The problem of everyone having their own special identity group is mostly where the problems come from, if you get my meaning. The appeal to government to address more and more personal issues.

    Besides, like you alluded to, where the hell do they think they are really befitting by getting their unions “blessed”.

    It is mostly about wounding Christianity I believe, and most minorities, the lefts usual allies, are mostly Christians. That’s why Prop 8 failed.

  183. pdbuttons says:

    rummy was a rassler!

  184. Mossberg500 says:

    Comment by accurate pollster on 11/9 @ 7:51 pm #

    “Hang me just as high as you please, Brer Fox News Channel”, says Brer Rabbit, says he, “but for the Lord’s sake, don’t fling me in that Palin/Jindall 2012 briar patch,” says he.

    I, for one, welcome our inevitable Snowbilly/Darwin-denying overlords.

    Fill my tank, bitch!

  185. Jeff G. says:

    I’m never NOT unhappy when Hubris comments.

    I think it’s the snail trail of smug slime I’m always left to clean up with my sock, because I’m out of paper towels again.

    As for Patterico, haven’t read any of his new posts, but perhaps he’ll be over the sting to his honor by the new year.

    I called it like I saw it. John Cole is the nougat at the center of a poison candy bar. Sullivan is the arsenic in the almond cookies.

  186. lee says:

    Maybe we should have a constitutional thing where the union of two or more people of the same sex is the definition of “gayage”. Get it? marri…gay. They are both happy!

  187. happyfeet says:

    That and also like my friend P… he’s not hooked up and he feels like a failure. It’s very sad the angst this must be inspiring. P was happier before all this.

  188. happyfeet says:

    oh. Mr. Patterico, he’s … you know what this reminds me of? That movie Plenty (again), where Mr. Sir John Gielgud plays this British diplomat guy during the Suez thing and he’s not at all happy with what Britain’s done and says “When the British are the cowboys, then I fear for the future of the globe” and that decorum is of increasing import as the British empire wanes. Does that just make sense in my head?

  189. accurate pollster says:

    Fill my tank, bitch!

    Goodness. It’s always about you, isn’t it?

  190. lee says:

    Oh yeah, that could be the word instead of “married”. Gayedup.

    Are you interested in gayage?

    Oh yes, I’m already gayup. Here’s my ring right here in my eyebrow…

  191. dre says:

    “oh. Mr. Patterico”

    No I did not like the greasey socialist with his collection anger management poster friends before the election and I don’t much the greasey socialist with his Rich White People Demorats after the election. kapeche

  192. Mossberg500 says:

    Comment by accurate pollster on 11/9 @ 8:18 pm #

    Fill my tank, bitch!

    Goodness. It’s always about you, isn’t it?

    Goodness? Goodness?

    What does goodness have to do with I, for one, welcome our inevitable Snowbilly/Darwin-denying overlords.

    You’re a fucking hypocrite, so you can fetch me some gas, BITCH!

  193. happyfeet says:

    Well, I guess when push comes to shove, dre, and it will we’ll see but my feeling is he’ll acquit himself just fine. I’m really kind of surprised there’s not a more generalized understanding that we are in peril though. None of this is normal.

  194. happyfeet says:

    oh. Sorry. I misunderstood you dre. I meant Patterico will acquit himself just fine. Baracky is going to take liberties.

  195. lee says:

    I just can’t wait til they start erecting Obama statues all over the country, along with Obama posters, and make ten minutes of Obama contemplation per day mandatory for school children.

    January will be here soon enough though…

  196. Jeff G. says:

    Nice to see Karl over at Patterico’s taking pot shots at me, and Dan defending me with faint praise.

    I made a huge mistake not just shutting down the site down while I was off.

    But fuck it, it is what it is.

  197. lee says:

    I thought of giving you a heads up on that last night Jeff, but figured you didn’t need your chain yanked. Petty is what I thought.

  198. happyfeet says:

    Ok well then don’t look over there. Eyes forward, steely glint, jaw set. Resolve. These are the times what try men’s souls and do not go gently into that dark dirty socialist night. It would be darker still without this site I think. Also I read Dan more charitably than all that.

  199. accurate pollster says:

    I called it like I saw it. John Cole is the nougat at the center of a poison candy bar. Sullivan is the arsenic in the almond cookies.

    And Jeff G. is a Little Debbie’s Apostates Are Evil Fudge Round.

  200. happyfeet says:

    simpleton.

  201. pdbuttons says:

    arsenic and old lace

  202. Jeff G. says:

    Did I ever call Patterico evil? I forget. If I did, I shouldn’t have, because it wasn’t on the Hannity notes I have mailed to me each day.

    And I try not to overstep.

  203. Mark A. Flacy says:

    I’m sure that accurate pollster knows a thing or two about fudge packing.

  204. serr8d says:

    Oh, on boots, I prefer the Tony Lama Python variety. Best for stepping on snakes of all sorts.

    And, gives homage a bit to Frank Zappa, an outlaw of sorts in his own right.

  205. JWebb says:

    Just by way of clarification and avoidance of copyright infringement, Jeff; it’s not “Beam and Coke” but “Beam and Cola,” which my wholesalers have been adamant in pointing out. Just a butt-covering observation…

  206. mojo says:

    This new “outlaw” thing doesn’t mean I need to buy chaps and a chopper now, does it?

    ‘Cause I just paid off the jack-boots last year, and never even got a chance to wear them. Let alone the jodhpurs.

  207. Gnasty says:

    Me? When life gives me lemons, I grate the rind into a Highball glass of Absolut Citron and Sprite, rolls the delicously cold glass between my sweaty breasts, and then sip the delightful beverage ever-so slowly as I watch reruns of Magnum P.I.

    Oh wait, that’s the OTHER me.

    This me just jams the little fuckers into a potato gun and fires them at mean old Mr. Bridley across the street. Call the cops on ME will ya? HA! Bet social security won’t cover a new window, will it?! WILL IT?!

  208. Gnasty says:

    Cuz, of the OUTLAWNESS…IDITY, whatever.

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