In an effort to learn the basics for promoting and maintaining an authoritarian endeavor like democratic socialism, I took to the streets yesterday — literally — armed with no more than a clipboard, a pen, the righteous indignation of the long-suffering oppressed, and the will to become a first-class community organizer.
All of which was exhilarating, if rather depressingly unproductive.
— That is, until I added to the arsenal of clipboard, pen, righteous indignation, and will, a fistful of Quizno toasted sandwich vouchers and, on two occasions, swigs from a half-finished bottle of grape Mad Dog I salvaged from a dumpster — a strategy that netted me 244 new “undecided” voters for Obama in just under 2 hours.
At this rate, I have my eyes on community organizer of the year — or, if I by some stroke of luck I happen to wake up half black, maybe even President one day!
Developing…
Eating a piece of urine-soaked bread would have doubled your take.
oh. You’re supposed to register first I think.
He could do alot more than double it if he had a couple packs of Newports.
There are forms and things you have to sign.
Dumpster divin’, shelter visitin’, and bribery…
You’ll be ACORN material soon Jeff, I mean, you have mastered their arsenal and tactics…
But you’ll really come into your own when you augment all that by singing good ol’ Soviet style stirring folk ballads about O! and, you know, the rapture to come once the annointed becomes the appointed, by being selected by the rejected-so to speak!
Have the MSM film your minstrel-esque ministrations and you may get a cabinet level appointment straight away!
1: “Hey man, I got some fresh O.”
2: “Dude, I wanted E, not O.”
1: “Nah guy, this O shit will make you just as fucked up and euphoric as E, but downing on O happens to other people.
2: “How does that work?”
1: “Beats the shit outta me.”
The registration efforts of Acorn remind me of the marketing of cigs by girls that go to clubs and try to get you to sign stuff for a free pack of ciggarretts. It is always for a crappy brand like Kools and you end up getting junk mail from them for the rest of your life.
Or those damn Jagermeister girls with the real short orange shorts and the tight silky shirts and then you buy a round of jager and offer one to the girls and they’re all like we can’t drink while we work, but they’re the jager girls for chrissake…umm what’s the topic again.
One of my friends married a Jaegermeister girl. He always tries to talk her into wearing that outfit again.
Did you have your che shirt on? A Viva la Revolucion hat, maybe? Definitely tattered and torn jeans, no? The acorn/Working America douches were out in my neighborhood the other day. My parents were over at the time. The good little apparatchiks that they are (Dad’s a local democratic politician and Mom was a delegate for “the grin will win” in ’76) have a big Obama 08 bumper sticker on their car in our drive. Well, the little working America guys were overcome with glee when they came up the drive, but were soon disappointed when I told them to save their breath, I wasn’t voting for him. Anyhow, all three of them had the tattered/torn jeans. Check. One of them had the hat. Check. But, I was dismayed that there was no Che shirt to be seen. But, the creepy Obama face shirt was a nice proxy. Oh, and no grape mad dog. Bitches.
I love those chicks. Alot better than the ones hocking the free packs of Kools or Virginia Slims.
Oooooops,
I guess I let my generational gap show…
Soviet style stirring folk ballads are sooooooo…Bill Ayers.
I mean, you gotta play to your audience! So it might be better to use raps, y’know…
Nuthin’ too gangsta though; O! don’t play dat…
No wussy woo-woo singin’ either. A good, ol’ skool compromise might be kinda Dr. Dre-ish or like Run-DMC…
Or, since your a bit, ahem, melanin challenged, I guess you could try some eminem, or perhapsVanilla Ice…
O!, O!, Baby…
The orange Mad Dog is the best. It goes well with fried chicken, macaroni & cheese, and collards.
Mmmmm tasty.
Lisa how about a 40oz of Thunderbird?
Yea, I always walk out with an exorbitant amount of free stuff, 2 weeks ago I got three Jager hats that I’ll never wear. My friend was so pysched he got one of their numbers but he called it and it was fake. She was a harpy I think.
Haven’t you wingers heard? THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT THE FRAUDULENT VOTER REGISTRATIONS CONSTITUTE FRAUD!
Some guy on Laura Ingraham said so.
Whew, I was getting worried there that ACORN was some sort of partisan wing of O!’s hacktastic master plan. (Is “master” racist?) Well back to building my yurt.
THERE IS NO EVIDENCE THAT THE FRAUDULENT VOTER REGISTRATIONS CONSTITUTE FRAUD!
Wrong, dicentra. If some Republican dude does it in California and gets busted it is an attempt by the entire Republican party to subvert the electoral process and is an overt attempt to destroy the fabric of our democracy. I know, because that was their talking point a couple days ago. The Left, they told me.
Lisa – Fuzzy Zoeller gots in a shitload of hot water for talking like that. Komrade Sugartits – I denounce you.
Nothing to see here either. Keep moving along to the next MSM story on Palin’s wardrobe.
It is better that we risk having thousands of fraudulent voters than one person get disenfranchised. I think that’s going to appear in O!’s little red book.
Aldo – so a few eggs need to get broken to make us a big old Obama President cake. Get over it.
Footnote in O!’s lil’ red book for community agitators:
*disenfranchising Republicans is acceptable because it shows those honky racists their proper place
[…] (h/t Aldo) Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:44 am | Trackback SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: ““Mainstreaming corruption””, url: “https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=13502” }); […]
That grape Mad Dog wasn’t the red grape. You can’t find that in a dumpster (except inside smiling sleeping people). You’ll never get to be President passing out the old grape. Amateur.
Good example of what I said on your Alinsky thread.
Up until a couple weeks ago, there was “no evidence of vote fraud.”
Then suddenly there was (but there always was).
And just as suddenly, but a couple days later, as if by Jungian magic (the kind that takes a couple days), this new thing, totally different and totally not vote fraud, called “registration fraud” entered the language of millions, all at once. And there was “no evidence that fraudulent registrations translate into fraudulent votes.”
Then suddenly there was (but there always was).
We must still be in the pause before the “Abracadabra!” on that, because I’ve yet to hear what further narrowing distinction makes actual “registration fraud”-based vote fraud still not count as vote fraud. I’m excited to find out what it is. When I get told. Because the universal mind doesn’t speak to me directly.
And not just not to me, apparently. The collective is flailing. They can’t decide whether vote fraud is awesome now, the most patriotic and American thing ever, or something that just has to be done to offset Republicans doing it (because one Republican recently went to jail for doing something unrelated, but with the word “vote” in all the news stories about it (hmmmm)), or something that, now that the word’s out, talking about it is antidemocratic (I really like that one, because it makes my crazily elaborated cynicism feel so right), or still nonexistent, because see-no-evil, and we’ll all just pretend together like we did before this got back in the news, like we always did before we tried this weird “registration fraud” gambit that’s fooling nobody but our own fools who don’t need fooling.
So. During this wait for instruction, is anyone on the fraud side going, “Okay, I’m totally down with the cause, but this shit’s wrong. Voting is important. Hard-fought civil rights blah, etc?”
A handful. And how is their objection met?
Right.
Because the universal mind doesn’t speak to me directly.
You too, huh? All I get is static, and the occasional car dealership ad from Tierra del Fuego…
Lisa how about a 40oz of Thunderbird?
That is more of an after dinner beverage. One retires to their salon (the couch sitting on the porch)and partakes of this fine beverage while smoking some fine tobacco (Newports or Black & Milds) and discussing the finer things in life (who’s door the task force kicked in last Thursday night).
I’m Comrade Sugartits and I denounce myself for this message.
[questioning his own wife on the witness stand]
Ned Ravine: Now, Mrs. Ravine… may I call you Lana?
Lana Ravine: Oh, please, call me Angel Tits.
Lana’s Prosecutor: I object!
Judge Skanky: Sustained. Counselor, you will address Angel Tits as Mrs. Ravine.
The end justifies the means. Thus, anything that helps get the Jug-eared Jesus elected is perfectly acceptable and they simply can not comprehend why anyone would have a problem with it.
Orwell was an optimist.