“Sorry my dog ate
your calf muscle. He’s not the
Sir Barky I knew.”
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- Danger on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
- In The Mailbox: 07.18.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll might be a psychopath
I had a Brittany Spaniel. Best huntin’ dog I ever had. Snuggles.
So, you’re pimpin’ Reason now?
Odd.
And he leased that dog too.
Oh.
No reason, whatsoever.
AKC decided he should have a poodle I think that’s what I voted for. they were all sissy dogs. quelle suprise.
I voted for the Wheaton Terrier.
A man who’ll name his dog after himself will do anything.
a haiku that, for no reason whatever, imagines FDR as flying 1960s space giant, Ultraman
“The only thing we
have to fear is fear itself.
And huge Jap lizards.â€Â
Is Sir Barky tenured?
Oops.
Jeff did that above, and I’m dumb.
I thought I was posting it to a note, that I could read sober.
Again, shit.
Damn.
Pay no attention
The man behind the curtain
Not really Stalin
ehy, yeehh yyyooo!!!
isthisssssthiinnngggoonnnnnn?
is Barky a season? otherwise…
Forty years ago
O was eight; Sir Barky ate
O’s notes until now
I do not see how
This here haiku possibly
Helps Michelle’s children
Is it just me, or are comments almost FREAKING dead around here?
I’m thinking endowed chair, Jeffersonian.
dishwasher green light
is on. time for more cupcakes
to be baked. Autumn.
No, no, no, no, no, NO!, NO!!, NO!!!.
I’m serious here now: Is it just me, or are comments almost FrEaKiNg deadaround here?
Mr. Pink?
Bueller?
Anyone?
Guys in neighborhood
Racists, terrorists, felons
Shit, I need to move.
I hope you brought enough for everyone, maggie.
oh… maybe… once I’m done. 24 so far…
ANTI-ANKLEBITERIST!
I am Teh One
Lightworker for all people
STFU you racists.
Hope springs eternal.
Change springs from the hole
in my front pocket.
How do these things work, again?
I am certain that you all are using haiku’s as some kind of racist code word dog whistle kind of thing … I am on to you.
Some haiku by O!:
I am getting cocky
The MSM is so in the tank
I can do no wrong
Be still my hubris
So I can run out the clock
I only talk issues
So what about Bill Ayers
You should ask me to my face
Cue my faux outrage
What gives you the right
To talk about my Pastor
You must be Racist
I have no haiku
for you guyses but I guess
I should mention fall
I would like to bet
That Bill Clinton is thinking
“That fucking nigger.”
Obama Chief of
Forces, armed our home is.
This too, it will pass.
There once was a man named Obama.
Who acted like Queen of the Drama.
He’ll call you a bigot,
Until you say “Frig it”.
And tell him to go cry to Mama.
Sir Barky
did not.
Shit, I’m tired. Screwed up the tenses.
There once was a man named Obama.
Who acted like Queen of the Drama.
He’d call you a bigot,
Until you said “Frig itâ€Â.
And told him to go cry to Mama.
tax again tomorrow
just like yesterday
now we’ve got Obama
and there’s nothing left to say
Jeff G. You are my sanity! O! will get you some time SOON!
There once was a hack from Chicago…
Dammit. I always get stuck after the first line.
Oh. Thrusting. Throbbing
Oh. Waiting. Oh! Heaving. OH!
Call it the Big O!
Nagasaki me,
Wait. I’ve thought 42 minutes, no research but deep thought for whatever that’s worth, and that’s the single best English opening for a haiku ever.
Empty father dream,
Nihilist audacity,
Hope and Change for All.
McGeehee:
There once was a hack from Chicago,
Who spent his nights dining at Spago
He blew Bon Jovi
And Matt Damon, you see
While the MSM was lying doggo.
Easyliving, you’re in Denver, correct? Next time I’m out your way, we need to drink together. Oh sure, we’ll have to get Jeff to hopefully tag along, too, as he si the man. Oh and cynn, too. I have to see what she looks like. Yeah, I’m shallow, but it’s not like I’m gonna do her or anything. I just want to see if she looks more like Jane Fonda or Connie Chung.
Oh and a haiku…
Five syllables now
Seven more to come right now
Five more come and go
Damn, I suck.
Hey, you know what?
FUCK YOU if you compare my opening line to a completed haiku.
Don’t y’all know thor?
And, like, not TrollHammer (with the capital T and H)
So does this mean the drinking is out? And I wouldn’t know a good haiku if it was fellating me and buying me a new big screen.
And I wouldn’t know a good haiku if it was fellating me and buying me a new big screen.
I thought those were called hookers, OI. Or friends, with benefits.
What I get for doing this at work.
Enigmas undone,
their webs of deceit unspun.
Sir Barky did not.
I deserve a house
regardless of my credit
social justice bitch
Hey, troll boy, geoffb, fuck yourself. You proved you’re nothing but a troll, get, hick.
Barcky is a
liar. Congenitally.
I know it. He is.
Should Obama lose
we’re looking at Kent State stuff
pitchforks and torches
thor buggers small goats
all the time without KY
he is a bad boy
Barky’s Howl
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
rabies, barking hysterical warnings,
dragging themselves through the kennel door at dawn
looking for a Milk Bone fix,
Soft-coated terriers burning for the ancient roadkill
their master threw in the alley dumpster in the the middle of the night
JD got’s him
a preggo
Barack laughs
Obama’s like
the dog that didn’t bark
when he was around the murdering scum
He wagged his tail.
Free houses for all
I need no FICO report,
You fucking racist.
These folks would make good teachers.
Of something.
Like how to make me popular.
Spies sucks appendages
Sarah winks alot
Young boys cry
Baracky luvs him some Baracky.
He makes the oceans stop rising.
Twatwaffles everywhere faint.
Thor blows his daddy
Wasted this month’s allowance
On worthless euros.
Spies loves
his hockey wife
thor feels guilty
thor blows Baracky
but Baracky never returns the
favor leaving thor hard
Barky out in yard
Cold Autumn nights in Chi-town
Subprime doghouse loan
JD sucks cock
Barack doesn’t
for $5 just no-way
Illiterate thor
Doesn’t even understand
Haiku form
I poop on the spam filter
Obama
He poops on you.
And it would be cooler if I could put the link right up there. But, no, it has to go on the next post.
Or get pasted in without the http
washingtontimes.com/news/2008/oct/10/obama-sought-to-sway-iraqis-on-bush-deal/
Fuck, three in a row eaten by the spam filter.
G’night, everybody.
Thor: blow me.
I’m couldn’t
care less
your wife, Spies
I’m sayin’, dumb-fuckers, only bitches don’t swallow what they spew.
Eat your balls.
Hairs and all.
I just called you beeotches.
My wife knows scansion
Thor’s girlfriend only knows meth
and Dad’s montly check
This is Just to Say
by William “Icebox” Jeferson
I have spent all
the cash
that was in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
thinking
was tainted
Forgive me
it was beautiful
so soiled
and so cold
where is my ego?
when everyone finally
loves me, then I’ll know.
Barney likes butt darts
His boytoy works for Fanny
And lamb cannon smiles
“on the brighter side
he did not confuse it with
Princess Yapsalot.”
Oh yeah, FDR and Ultraman. Forgot that one.
I sometimes make myself giggle.
Bill Ayers may be
This Autumn’s best dog trainer
Back then eight years old
Jeremiah Wright
Long seasons without hearing
Much of anything
Ode to the Ideologue:
Their testimony’s destroyed,
by, in, and of themselves.
One man curses others;
the other defends gross lies.
The third has no inkling
‘where his loyalty resides.
They hunt, seeking converts
‘midst legions of the damned.
They would destroy darkness,
in a world, claimed un-Man’ed!
What they do to others,
in others, they call sin.
Among the valley’s blind,
the darkness lies within.
Bill’s wife Bernie was
A fan of Manson’s murders
Is she sorry now?
Oh, that was “a joke”
About Manson’s “Family”
Three-fingered salute
Ask questions no doubt
You’re a racist the Dems say
Bill Ayers is off limits
Facts inconvenience
the One’s march toward progress
Lies, hope, change for all!
Good morning Barky
The one thing I’d like to ask
Are you registered?
Bathomet’s black goat
rides unseen upon the deck
nibbling rudder cables
alppuccino – The appropriate question would be how many times are you registered, and where?
ACORN
Racists
peanut butter mouth
are you talking to my face?
nuzzle my hope crotch
movie theater line
a hand in my popcorn box
double-wide trailer
So has any news corp besides Fox been on the Acorn deal?
PS. Why is my name getting mentioned on here?
out is subjective
ass a smelly state of mind
my plastic bag’s warm
Here in Ohio
You don’t report on ACORN
TURN OFF THAT CAMERA!
canine canary
Scranton coal mine dust plugs
Michael Vick says hi
mmm-thats only six-
scranton coal mine dust hair plugs
Big bugs have little bugs
Upon their backs to bite them.
Little bugs have littler bugs.
And so, ad infinitum.
And that is the extent of my knowledge of poetry.
I don’t mean to complain, but some of youse is messing up the 5/7/5 formate. We’ve got rules you know.
Lightbringer is here
Unicorns and bright rainbows
Redistribution!
And, formate is the Australian spelling, I think.
I was counting on the Michigan pronunciation for “Cam-Ra” Carin.
Big shiny face mole
Like a huge bright harvest moon
Careful when you shave
Does a dog have a Buddha nature?
“Well, when Sir Barky passes your calf muscle, can one deny that he has been enlightened?
…or, you know, MU!”
Spies – I LOVE the ‘this is just to say” parodies. Gail did that a while ago (few years, yikes) and it was a hoot.
This is Just to Say
William Obama Williams
I have redistributed
your money
that you were
investing
And which
you were probably
saving
for retirement
Forgive me
It was so tempting
so patriotic
to pay taxes
Alp – what other possible pronunciation is there? ;)
No more rockets boom
Nor mortar rounds thump for weeks
A Fall without JAM
Brings a tear to the eye, Maj John.
hello Tim Blair
a dingo took my baby
Bingo was name-o
Alp – what other possible pronunciation is there? ;)
They are many.
The Peter O’Toole – cam – EH – Rah
The Barney Frank – CAM-wa
The Obama – Com – uh….uh…uh… – erAHH
The Pelosi – Get that fucking camera out of my fucking face or so help me I will shove it up your fucking ass. MOVE THE FUCKING CAMERA!!
Damn thats nice John. When I was there in 03-04 they were a daily occurence. Hell we put up those baseball nets like those behind the batters box around some of the bases.
This one (complete with seasonal reference, I might add) is for those who are starting to panic over the recent nonsensical poll numbers:
Poll numbers all wrong
This fall campaign don’t smell right
Unbunch your panties
tiny little deer
in Guantanamo cages
a sweet calf muscle
a cherry tree bark
truthfully hopey change snark
I CAN tell a lie
underground weather
hippy-dippy weatherman
sideburns predicted
what a funny name
Barack Huseein Obama
now I am a racist
http://www.thedailybeast.com/blogs-and-stories/2008-10-09/john-mccain-shooting-craps-pissed-off/
what a funny name
Barack Huseein Obama
I am a racist
Aaaargh!
what a funny name
Barack Hussein Obama
I am a racist
Double Aaaargh!
So Cleo unsubstantiated reports of McCain being an ahole while gambling are topical but 20 year membership to a racist church and a partnership with a part time communist/domestic terrorist are off limits. Got it you are insane.
Yes McCain is an ahole while gambling he is teh unfit!!!11!!!!!
Obama could probably slit the throat of a puppy and stage and you would block it from your mind to sustain the Narrative.
Yes McCain is an ahole while gambling he is teh unfit!!!11!!!!!
It’s teh ANGER…or do you want this psycho to have access to the nuke ‘football’?
Brig. Gen. Jack D. Ripper
Jeremiah Wright
Goddamn white America
Say it and own it
Semanticleo
You are like a tree that falls
There are no hearers
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964
It’s teh ANGER…or do you want this psycho to have access to the nuke ‘football’?
You’re right. Let’s let Ahmadinijead have it.
All bark and no bite,
Mister Baracky looks weak.
No brass ring for him.
Cleo: recast that in Anglo-Saxon heroic mode and we might give a shit.
Don’t forget the alliteration and the kennings.
Anger vrs the high probability the other hates America as it now stands and is a racist.
I will take Anger for 200 Alex.
better not wear white
Labor Day has long since passed
racist overtones
You guys need Eisenhower.
You have Gen Jack Ripper.
Every day the DOW closes with a thud, you lose ground.
a puppy knife fight!
what color is that doggy?
a tinted window
Oh wait. Barack will do anything he needs to to keep Iran from getting a nuke. Including bombing Pakistan.
So your comparing McCain to Jack the Ripper? WTF planet you living on?????????
Darfur genocide
that’s where our troops should be
George Clooney says so
No poem for us
Semen can’t recite verse with
Barack’s cock in mouth
fluoride tap water
now in bottles from a “spring”
Chauncey Gardener
Troops out of Iraq
So I can hang their cheese out
In the wind somewhere
a gay wedding dress
the train was minted so green
barney fucking frank
Dammit pd. I was switching to Barney. I’ll wait.
pathetic cleo
irrelavent shit for brains
on display daily
Cleo is Obama wins you better get ready for 4 years of hatred thrown at him that will make BDS seem like a love poem. This guy ain’t even won yet and I do not like him, wait until he starts f@cking up the healthcare system and raising taxes after he said he wouldn’t.
pot meet the kettle
calling someone else a turd
cleo is thy name
I give him 6 months until he goes back on a pledge made during the campaign. I am guessing Fairness Doctrine will be the first thing he flips on, taxes a close second. Withdrawing all troops from Iraq will be a runner up to both of those.
barney rubble brakes
for fanny-packs and ass cracks
and gerbils [Bam-Bam!]
River of blood? You seriously are deranged aren’t you? Are you a cutter or do you put out cigs on your arm?
I fear his election because of the river of blood that will result from his assassination.
Too late to make up cleo.
ooh. If the FBI asks, I wasn’t here.
A poem for pdbuttons:
Alcibiades
Ahmedinejahd
Putin and Palin
Strawberry ice cream
…with sauerkraut sprinkles.
Cleo how does one rationaly hold these two completely contradictory opinions.
1. Bush is the worlds #1 terrorist/War is a lie for Oil=is ok and part of the dialog
2. Palin or McCain bringing up Obama’s factual association with a domestic terrorist=unacceptable and it incites violence
If I held both of those in my head at the same time it would explode like a robot in a Star Trek episode.
first they took ashtrays
and then they came for my arms
riverdance ahoy!
How should that be interpreted?
Depends on the maturity level of the interpreter. In your case you should take it as a threat of domestic terrorism where former productive members of the economy turn to violence and storm The White House.
the truth is out there
could hit cleo in the face
doubt that it would help
Blackhawk at nightfall
Racing along the Tigris
Man, that was a rush!
Obarney, well you came and you gave without taking
And I sent you away Obarney
Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking
And I need you today Obarney.
I don’t like it when my lameness follows your haiku Major. A warning would be nice.
And you are not a nutcase, but there is a large contingent who run with those words.
Got it.
Criticizing Obama’s “health care” plan = incitement to violence.
Having buddies who say things like “Dig It. First they killed those pigs, then they ate dinner in the same room with them, they even shoved a fork into a victim’s stomach! Wild!”, “Kill all the rich people. Break up their cars and apartments. Bring the revolution home, kill your parents, that’s where it’s really at.” and “God DAMN America!” = pacifism.
Moron.
thank u so much/ are we like a “community” ? I recognize monikers from other sites/ [u know the ones!] u peeps are so funny! [ even the trolls a re good!]
thanks again 4 being nice!
now lets get nasty!
Doesn’t seem disconnected to me. The same people pushing the “Palin is inciting violence” memo are the same people that turn a blind eye to “Bush was behind 9-11/The war in Iraq is a lie”.
If you take 9-11 conspiracies and conspircacy theories of President Bush lying us into a war to their rational end state the only action to take would be violence. If you seriously believe that our president would murder 3000 citizens what would be your only recourse if you were a nutcase? Well besides ranting on the internet or attending a Ron Paul rally.
Isn’t that what they’re doing now?
beeeeeooooop…
I believe we’ve just uncovered a cure for priapism.
Anneburg Challenge
educational theory
with zero results
Well you just set yourself up a nice straw man. I never even said oppose the Iraq war in any post. I said if you believe that President Bush deliberatly lied us into the war for whatever reason. If you want to argue with my comparison of 911 conspiracy theorists to Bush lied to get us into Iraq conspiracies then go ahead. Setting up a completely false mischaracterizations of what I said is wayyy over the line though.
cleo opens mouth
verbal diarrhea spews
remember to wipe
tastee freeze soft serve
the subprime loans gets me hard
just a kiss away
A-C-O-R-N
registration voter fraud
democracy dies
Just wait. McCain yelling at a lady supposedly at a craps table in Puerto Rico is more important than a Presidential candidate being connected to a “non-profit” group commiting voter fraud in multiple states in order to swing the election.
Believing that the President is so evil that he would engage in a world wide conspiracy to “lie” us into a war in Iraq is just about as nutty as believing he would murder 3000 people. I do not care if you want to draw a distinction it is what it is. If he is guilty of one he would be capable of the other.
alp,
Not lameness. I am a somewhat jaded person – I have seen rather alot the past few years – but last night we came up the Tigris LOW and FAST…. From date palm groves to the lights of Baghdad in but a moment. I was with some pretty rough customers too – but we were all smiles when we got of the chopper. I may try to sketch out some verses later. It made quite an impression on me.
fuck you very much
a real witty rejoinder
I had to decline
Yosemite Sam
was a black man,understand?
half black/half bunny
[rootin’-tootin’-dare I say lootin’? whiskey- sexy-democracy!]
We’ll be looking forward to reading them, Maj. (P) John.
Somebody needs to
teach cleo to haiku
who speaks retard?
Shortly after the war began, about a month after Baghdad had been taken, I was at Sadam’s palace in Umm Quasar. The Marines had already set up a movie theatre like screen outside that was showing Britney Spears videos where she was prancing around half naked. There is a poem in there some where but I just ain’t up to the task.
There is no perhaps
There is only teh evil
of the Booshhitler
Damn I suck.
I am enjoying the pdbuttons person and also I am happy Pellegri is back around. Springer spaniels I like but they are a lot of work to keep clean and you have to brush them a lot if they’re gonna be inside. Dogs are so important and I love them but they’re not same as people.
Speaking with Cleo?
Yosemite Sam would be
Easier to grok
PiaToR, alphie, et al. C’mon folks. Learn from the past here at PW.
And Obama thought the dog was rehabilitated.
Mr. Pink,
Thanks for that. Now that made me smile… Brittney Spears, heh.
Baghdad plus thirty
damn that Spears girl is dirty!
but she’s OUR dirty!
semi conscious troll
griefing the commentators
cruel is the fall
winter in the states
nanny comes to run your life
changing you from hope
pay no attention
to the unrepentant thug
mainstream commissar
once upon a time
we stopped at the waters edge
teddy kennedy
that’s rite- I blame all u fucktards from the left
God Bless our troops
Stupid-ass hippies
After the revolution
They’ll be first to go
hippy-hippy shake
add hope/change/tofu and smug
can I burn your bra?
SemenlickerKKKleo
is a creepy douchenozzle
and it buggers goats
cleo knows nothing
but likes to share teh stoopid
and proud to do so
MissKKKleo is not
a psychic but it is an
absolute fucking mental midget of the highest order.
So, I kind of messed up the cadence on that one …
You know someone lost an argument when they start their sentence off with the word “but”.
But Semenlikker knows things, Mr. Pink. ;-)
It seems he/she knows alot of things, too bad they are mostly wrong or completely contradictory to other beliefs.
but butt cracks do nod
towards the land of the Dodd[ odd?]
let’s not discuss fraud
But Semenlikker
knblows things, Mr. Pink. ;-)Fixed that for you!
JD’s grasp of verse
reflects cleo’s lack of grip
of those messy facts
craps
violent fall’s death
screaming leaves like the sound of
mccain’s roiling rage
Debate with Semen
Like slamming dick in car door
Point and laugh instead
There once was a hack from Chicago
what is that you say
the donkey cleo can bray
like a fucking ass
…premature enter strike.
I was about to riff on Othello, Dr Zhivago, Iago and a poodle named Frisky. Now the moment is lost.
Obama is clean
and freshly articulate
says Joey Hairplugs
I want to be free
from responsibility
O! will make it so
typical white bitch
grandma’s a real bigot
Obama says so
Thank you all (with the exception of that annoying anal leakage thor) for reminding me why I visit PW.
Frisky’s passed on now
He’d bite some black people
But, not any moor
And that douchenozzle Semencleo is most definitely NOT included on the list of accolades.
Sorry for the oversight.
Dan Are,
Careful, there is a high risk in mixing puns and haiku. Kind of like Semtex and det cord…
Ayers lurvs him some bombs
the Pentagon, not so much
didn’t do enough
Riders on the credit storm
Want the highest mantle
God help us
Once upon a midnight beery, while I pondered on a theory,
Over many a dumb and fraudulent movie of Michael Moore,
While I nodded, idly surfing, suddenly there came a smurfing,
As of some one astroturfing, turfing like a KosKid whore.
“‘Tis some waterhead,” I muttered, “turfing like a running sore –
Only this, and nothing more.”
FTFY.
Kind of like Semtex and det cord…
Puns and poems are meant to be explosive — in a good way.
nice, Spies
iffen nuts and puns
were wide as barney franks buns
teddy bear Christmas
Spies, a question for you re TrollHammer: do you know where it stores the information about ‘hammered commenters? It would be handy to be able to hack that from time to time.
Somebody’s bound to ‘hammer an innocent by mistake one of these days.
you’re hand grenade close
clang my shaft u unholy ghost
change ur hope diapers
It stores them in a cookie, but there’s no easy user interface in Firefox to edit them directly (only to delete the whole cookie).
I hope to get some more work done on it this weekend — will see if I can add some kind of UI to unblock users on an individual basis.
sign where? [here,here.here]
my pen is black/paper white
you am oppresser
dow is droppin’ hints
yo skag mother needs mo’ mints
print
print
print
print
print!
can I get a
A[commemerative soup bowl]
B [ a witness]
fry cook-fry cook fry
splatter grease in my glass eye
freedom onion rings
christian bale me out
muslims-heads down-shoes are off
chinks-it’s called a fork
the brown water splash
audacity of squeegee[?]
racist red light[honk]
Now, if someone were do to some alliterative punning haiku, then we’d be onto something good.
Your dog attacked Dr. House? Well, at least now he knows whom to sue to pay for the vicodin.
a lit hope candle
blow me-it’s my un- birthday
please ask the Grace Slick
In eight years has there been ONE attempt on Bush’s life?….strawman indeed.
– You sound – bitterly disappointed….
Progressively proud,
A poodle pecks politely
and pants unseamly
Wait, almost there bonesteel-
Progressively proud,
A poodle pecks politely
pants part unseamly
An Obam nation
dealing in race persuasion
discount empty suits
I mean, that was practically a Tom Swifty in there for you. The Poodle pants, too!
Tough crowd.
It was sew-sew.
Darn.
hate to repeat-[sigh]
suits are for the courts
pantsuits-wish I could dig her
black robes/go figure
Suture self.
the burka hemline
rants/cargo pants/hot pockets
a staring contest!
dang- she got good eye!
I tried to bee nice
needle in a camels eye
de-cap-atated
Chicago autumn
messiah puts on his mask
inside he’s hideous
Dogs?
Nature: Obama and Mc Cain as dogs! No comment…
The bestest one and the winner of the two free tickets to a taping of Sábado Gigante, date tbd, is Dan Are at #212.
[…] coulda had class. I coulda been a contender… Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:56 pm | Trackback SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Imitation/flattery”, […]