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a CITIZEN JOURNALIST reports from battleground USA, 19

In a pique of sociological curiosity, I asked my son’s pre-K teacher if she had any children of her own — and if so, why the hell wasn’t she home with them instead of here at school, watching my son mangle a glue stick? Did she not realize, I asked her, that her progeny could be out somewhere getting their adolescent freak on? I mean, who is she to think she can take a job outside the house when — right at this very moment — her kids could be in a field somewhere, hopped up on X and fucking like wired rabbits to Fat Boy Slim!

— Which, it turns out, was probably a bad tack to take. Seems she’d had a hysterectomy many years back and can’t have kids of her own, and so she just kinda burst out crying before running to get security.

On the plus side, now I have more time to spend with the kid again while we try to find a new school that’ll accept him. So, like, glass half full...!

Developing…

110 Replies to “a CITIZEN JOURNALIST reports from battleground USA, 19”

  1. Dan Collins says:

    So, like Andrew?

  2. dre says:

    “find a new school to take him”

    Home School?

  3. happyfeet says:

    Oh. This is another one of those Sarah Palin posts that doesn’t talk about drilling our own energies and her very real accomplishments with respect to those kinds of policies. So this is me getting all up in your face about that, mister.

  4. Carin says:

    I didn’t really home school pre-K. I barely home schooled Kindergarten. I just kinda mothered ’em.

  5. dre says:

    I like my wymin: bare foot, pregnant, gun in hand, moose gutted and running for vp.

  6. Jeffersonian says:

    Thou didst well, Jeff. Who does this uppity woman think she is, dodging the press that way? We have. A right. To KNOW!

  7. SarahW says:

    I’d like to know if she presented her medical records! Headfake!

  8. SarahW says:

    But yeah also natural gas, and coal.

  9. SarahW says:

    Dre, I hope crocs are ok. I broke a glass in the kitchen last week.

  10. Jeff G. says:

    Here you go hf. And SarahW.

  11. Topsecretk9 says:

    I’ve been amusing myself at DU – there are a TON of hilarious posts over there – they still clinging to their Trig timelines and freaking over polls, Palin is a bad mother and knocking around all kinds of strateegery…so here is a top flaming strategy post

    Alaska has NOTHING to do with mainstream America…

    and it’s values and concerns.
    It is a very isolated, odd, strange, alien, almost…foreign place. How could someone from there understand America and Americans?
    This could be an effective tactic.
    Make her the other. Because she is.

    I hope they go with this.

  12. Topsecretk9 says:

    Isn’t that a hoot?

    “How could someone from Alaska understand America and Americans?”

  13. Sdferr says:

    Those people are deep historians TSK9, deep.

  14. Jeff G. says:

    Just tell them that Wii works there, too, and they’ll move on to something else.

  15. happyfeet says:

    Thanks, Jeff. That’s important. More important than anything Baracky’s ever done that’s for sure.

  16. dre says:

    “It is a very isolated, odd, strange, alien, almost…foreign place.”

    What Berkley or Manhatten ?

  17. Darleen says:

    Top

    Of course while Alaskans don’t understand America or American’s, TwitBrit Russell Brand certainly does and it’s like if we don’t vote Obama we are racists and traitors to THE WORLD!!!

  18. B Moe says:

    Love the link at 10. I have seen her in a couple of interviews on youtube, between that and the story above I can’t wait for them to get her properly briefed to turn lose on the press.

  19. mojo says:

    Oh, muy sensitivo, Jeff. Nice.

    So – did you ask the follow-up question comparing a barren schoolteacher to a celibate priest dispensing marriage advice or not? The editor wants to know.

    PS –
    How did I miss this? dept.:
    DVD – Cream – Royal Albert Hall May 2-3-5-6 2005

  20. Sdferr says:

    Foreigners like Barack a lot, most all of them do. I’ll bet those foreign Alaska people will like Barack almost as much as those foreign Belgian people like Barack. They adore him well there. Maybe Barack can convince those foreign Alaskan people to want to be Americans so they can be closer to him. And keep their jobs.

  21. Dude, mind if I as what the starting point was for this conversation? It strikes me as a bit strange to drop on someone out of the blue.

  22. JD says:

    I blame the patriarchy. And racists. And Kyoto.

  23. Bob Reed says:

    Jeff, you asked the hard question trying to get at da troooooof !

    She needed to be vetted properly; You had a right to know !!!eleventy!!!

    Besides, I thought your question was properly nuanced to avoid offending the teacher…

  24. dre says:

    I thought it was a piercing but man O! has a mole problem on the left side of his nose. h/t Bill o

  25. Darleen says:

    Seems she’d had a hysterectomy

    Did she show you certified copies of her medical records?

    I.thought.not.

    Her tears were LIES I tell you. HYPOCRISY!!!1!!!!

  26. Sdferr says:

    Maybe Barack can fix that mole problem with ducktape. Works on warts so it’s worth a shot.

  27. dre says:

    Poor OØ! he’s thrashing about now.

  28. JD says:

    Sdferr – The only thing that duct tape cannot fix is Olberdouchenozzle and Baracky.

  29. Jeff G. says:

    I think it started with Indian food for lunch, rhymes with right.

  30. dicentra says:

    The only thing that duct tape cannot fix is Olberdouchenozzle and Baracky.

    Oh, but MSNBC fixed Olber-whatsits wagon, they did.

  31. JD says:

    I bet a roll of extra thick duct tape might hold down Baracky’s ears.

  32. JHoward says:

    It is a very isolated, odd, strange, alien, almost…foreign place. How could someone from there understand America and Americans?

    Reminds me of Hawaii.

  33. JHoward says:

    You know, if McCain wins by more than Bush did over Kerry, is that a veritable referendum on Messiah’s as compared to odd-looking aging surfboarding Mass senators with massive borrowed wealth who promise overt socialism on national TV? Cause that’s kinda saying something.

  34. Darleen says:

    JHoward … McCain had better win more … or we will be tied up in lawsuits until the next election cycle.

    Obama’s Chicago machine has probably already amassed an army of lawyers and thugs to challenge any “close” precinct.

  35. Pablo says:

    Tsk9,

    Alaska has NOTHING to do with mainstream America…

    and it’s values and concerns.
    It is a very isolated, odd, strange, alien, almost…foreign place. How could someone from there understand America and Americans?
    This could be an effective tactic.
    Make her the other. Because she is.

    Aren’t these same fuckers terribly concerned about what Europe thinks of us? And don’t they love Baracky because of Indonesia and the non-racist African granny and her hut?

  36. JD says:

    The not so thinly veiled racism emerges …

  37. shivas irons says:

    Firstly, you just had me laughing out loud at a Samsung crt. Cut it out.

    Secondly, I’ve been a Mr. Mom guy, doing the volunteer stuff at elementary school, until my son just moved onto Middle School this year. [Dread disease that allows me to do real cool stuff… as long as City of Hope keeps me goin’… ;-]

    Anyway, as a guy, watch your proverbial step.. Elvis Costello-wise… it’s my experience that we’re, as a society, not quite yet ready for actual caring guys on an elementary school campus. And yes, I know you were kidding… but I think you will understand what I’m referring to as time moves along… laterally in this type situation.

  38. Challeron says:

    Darleen, there are no “close” precincts in Chicago….

  39. hot4veep says:

    Do you think Olber-douche has figured out that an Obama win spells the end of his career?
    After all, how many Progs, Wingnuts and Netroots will tune in each night to Meltdown…er, Countdown, for an hour of bashing Sen. Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Minority Leader John Boehner???
    Oh yea, that oughta generate HUGE ratings…….

  40. John Bradley says:

    I bet a roll of extra thick duct tape might hold down Baracky’s ears.

    You mean like that “Gorilla Tape” stuff?

    Quite naturally, I denounce you, myself, and the makers of the entire line of ‘Gorilla’ brand adhesive products. Because of the RACEYNESS.

  41. Jeffersonian says:

    Oh, but MSNBC fixed Olber-whatsits wagon, they did.

    I think it was reaching full on-air orgasm under the guise of “analysis” of O!’s Parthenon address.

  42. Ric Locke says:

    The only thing that duct tape cannot fix is Olberdouchenozzle and Baracky.

    Now, now, you can’t get by with half a toolbox.

    If it moves and shouldn’t, duct tape is the answer.

    If it doesn’t move, and should, WD-40 is required.

    Regards,
    Ric

  43. Jeff says:

    I will not have Fat Boy Slim slandered like this!

    It’s the left-wing, big beat, smear machine, funded by George Soros. I’ve seen him doing it to the Chemical Brothers, The Prodigy, and yes that pre-emptive big beat war machine — The Crystal Method.

    I’m getting my light sticks so I can break this shit down. I’m doing it for the kids, yo.

  44. cynn says:

    I thouht you were cavalier with Aredsgaine. How does the fetus magically appear in the crucible that has magically enabled zygote survival

  45. cynn says:

    That made no sense; forget it.

  46. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – B. Moe, I was thinking about your comment where you said something like: “If Barracky insists in running against Palin, maybe she needs to assign an assistant VP for Biden to run against.”

    – If I remember my social studies right, there already is one.

    – Lets see…..hmmmm….assistant VP….why yes….that would be…. well…..Speaker Pelosi!

    – Biden could run against Pelosi!

  47. Education Guy says:

    If the teacher had a husband, you could equally point out how she would better serve her family by, you know, being home to clean and cook steaks and such. Because the socks are not going to wash themselves!

  48. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Jeff, I just finished the long hard road raising my youngest son all the way from preschool to his HS graduation this past spring.

    – The best way I can describe the feeling after all those years of doing battle with the teachers, principles, and district, is that I think I know what it felt like to be one of the last marines on the last helicopter out of Saigon.

    – I truly feel for future kids going through the system.

  49. Republican on Acid says:

    Is there ADHD hysteria? Is your boy not “female acting” enough? I have one son with ADHD, he really does have it. He is on medication and it does help. But I have another son that much earlier they tried to say the same thing and there was no God damn way he had it. It was almost as if the woman wanted every boy in her class doped up so she wouldn’t have to deal with male behavior.

  50. The Way Lost Dog says:

    “I bet a roll of extra thick duct tape might hold down Baracky’s ears.”

    I think they have been known as “angel ears” in the distant, murky past. Probably because it made kids who looked like Dumbo feel better that their mothers had let them sleep with their ears folded over…

    BWA_HA_HA_HA_HA_HA_HA_HA_HA!

    I think I just made that up…..But I’m not sure

  51. The Way Lost Dog says:

    ADD and ADHD medications make me laugh.

    I used to use amphetemines and ritalin to have three day sex sessions when I was young. Certainly it quieted me down, because all I could think about was how the girls around me in the classroom would look if they were naked.

    And most of them looked better with their clothes on than they did with their clothes off, truth be told. And for saying that, I am now trapped among those minions (of better with their clothes on) for the rest of my life!

    Bummer.

    I denounce myself for being a horny teenager in high school! How insensitive of me to have surfed on a tsunami of testosterone!

  52. Topsecretk9 says:

    Detroit Free Press editor expressed regret Monday that left-wing and anti-war activists were included in a focus group of so-called independent voters the newspaper interviewed during the political conventions, but said he didn’t see the harm in having a “radical leftist or two” in the group.

    In response to questions posed to the would-be independent panel, two members of the anti-war group CodePink — as well as two other liberal activists — offered praise of Barack Obama after his Democratic presidential nomination acceptance speech. A week later they turned the tables and ripped into Republican Sarah Palin’s vice presidential nomination acceptance speech. Their comments appeared online and were excerpted in the Free Press’ print edition.

    …“If there is a radical leftist or two in the group, I don’t care,” Essex told FOXNews.com. “I want a robust conversation, a complete range of political viewpoints.”

    The four activists were part of a group of seven self-described “independents.” Nine Republicans and 11 Democrats were also on the panel.

    “I want a robust conversation, a complete range of political viewpoints…so robust I had 3 indies, 9 republicans and 15 Democrats ”

    Sounds robust and a complete range of viewpoints, no?

    http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/08/editor-defends-use-of-codepink-members-in-independent-focus-group/

  53. well, duh, TSK9, it’s not like Republicans have any viewpoints worth hearing. They just repeat whatever Rove tells them to.

  54. Topsecretk9 says:

    Obama always whines and complains that republicans are going to try and scare us with his silly name – exploit it and associate it with Islam and terrorists…

    Obama to day, bless his little demagogian heart!

    “The reason you have that safeguard,” he said, “is because we don’t always have the right person. We don’t always catch the right person. We may think this is Mohammed the terrorist, it might be Mohammed the cab driver. You may think it’s Barack the bomb thrower, but it might be Barack the guy running for president.

    http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/obama-on-the-ne.html

  55. happyfeet says:

    Jeez but words fail.

  56. “No, no, no, no,” Obama said. “Talk to Michelle, she’ll tell you. But what I’m not going to do, I’m not going to describe in an ad that I did something that is opposite of what I did.”

    um

  57. Topsecretk9 says:

    Maggie

    “…But what I’m not going to do, I’m not going to describe in an ad that I did something that is opposite of what I did.”

    So no Surge ads? O’Reilly was enough?

  58. prolly should let Biden handle those.

  59. There’s also that whole, “I hate lobbyists (unless they’re volunteers for me)” thing, but I don’t think he’s made an ad about that. dunno, no time for research lately.

  60. I am just loving this. I am. It’s so great. Jeff, right now you have my dream job.

    I mean you always did, but these days everyone who gave you shit has to eat their words. It’s so fucking great. Mrs. Cookies is on cloud nine, thirteen years of bullshit from family and friends coming home to roost.

  61. Mike says:

    HATER! STOP THE SMEARS!

    Oh, wait, hold on — was she a Republican? It’s important. If she was, then please disregard the above shrieking, as it no longer applies.

  62. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – “Dave, have you seen the Gallup numbers this morning?”

    – “Yeh, so what. Thats just convention bounce….That’ll be gone in the by tomorrow.”

    – “Dave, you’ve been saying that for three days…Are you sure attacking Palin is the way to go here?”

    – “We’re doing fine. The mouth is out there moving the goalposts on Iraq….watch, its going to catch on any time now.”

    – “Dave….we slipped 5 more points after Bidens TV appearance…and there was that O’Reilly thing…..O gave up taxes and the surge….and theres more interview….Its Not looking good.”

    – “So whadyah want from me….We’re just taking a breather…its going to be fine.”

    – “Dave….its some of our crazy supporters….We’ve got to get them quieted down…..Their attacks on Palin are killing us.”

    – “Look, I can’t control the asshole brigade….You want their support you have to accept that they’re idiots….Now what else you got for me?”

    – “Well….ummmmm…..We have Hillerys cell number.”

    – “Alright, thats it gawd damnit…get the fuck out of here and get me a latte’ Bacardi – two fingers…and don’t bring her up again or I’ll stuff your ass down the trash chute….Go!”

    – “Dave….when I sleep will I dream?”

  63. RTO Trainer says:

    If it doesn’t move, and should, WD-40 is required.

    So this is the cure for Olby’s impacted bowel? It’s been so blocked for so long it’s clearly backed up to overflow from the usual point of entry.

  64. N. O'Brain says:

    Best line of the day:

    “Obama’s idea of ethics reform is to mandate clean sheets in the brothel.”

    -Jonah Goldberg

  65. JD says:

    Duct tape most certainly could not keep Olbermouthdiarrhea’s jaw from flapping.

  66. Sticky B says:

    She coulda made you sammich instead of engaging in all that cryin’ bullshit. Jeez. Our women are getting to where they’re bigger pussies than our men.

  67. JD says:

    Gorilla Glue is the shit. Denunciations are in order.

  68. Carin says:

    Juan Cole dropped a turd at Salon today. Sarah Palin is the Taliban with lipstick.

  69. Carin says:

    John McCain announced that he was running for president to confront the “transcendent challenge” of the 21st century, “radical Islamic extremism,” contrasting it with “stability, tolerance and democracy.” But the values of his handpicked running mate, Sarah Palin, more resemble those of Muslim fundamentalists than they do those of the Founding Fathers. On censorship, the teaching of creationism in schools, reproductive rights, attributing government policy to God’s will and climate change, Palin agrees with Hamas and Saudi Arabia rather than supporting tolerance and democratic precepts. What is the difference between Palin and a Muslim fundamentalist? Lipstick.

  70. JD says:

    Carin – He did not drop a turd, he is a turd. Though I suspect he was dropped on his head at birth. I demand to see medical records.

  71. Education Guy says:

    Juan Cole is an idiot. Seriously.

    Does he really think the founders would have been pro-choice, or against teaching creationism? The rest of his rant is just repeating smears.

  72. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Carin, they’ve completely lost it they’re so scared of her, and the Obama camp can’t get them under control so Axelrod is forced to keep Obama running against her instead of McCain to try to cover up the massive discord between their supporters and their own candidates campaign plan.

    – Thats probably why the McCain camp is limiting her press exposure. The old saw that you don’t interrupt your opponent when hes busy chewing off his own toes.

    – The “mouth” returned today to his grand plan to split Iraq into three secular states again.

    – Now hes got four things to worry about. A candidate that can’t stop stepping on his own crank and reversing himself on every issue in sight. A woman that kicks their campaign in the ass just by being herself. A gaggle of lunitics he can’t control, and a loose canon that keeps handing the McCain camp fresh ammunition.

    – good times.

  73. Mr. Pink says:

    What the hell is going on with those people?

  74. Slartibartfast says:

    Juan Cole is an idiot. Seriously.

    This is my favorite episode of Juan Cole being an idiot.

  75. SarahW says:

    Oh Top. That was humor what probably flew over Baracky’s head like a grenade.

    BTW, I dreamed of you last night. Or your name. You had a dossier. Everyone called you Top.
    You were a beautiful, beautiful woman.

  76. Pablo says:

    I’d like to see Cole’s thesis on the front page of all major newspapers and all over the TeeVee.

    America needs to hear this.

  77. Slartibartfast says:

    Oh. Just skimmed the Salon piece. Cole’s practically got Palin sawing off the heads of people who disagree with her.

    Cole clearly lost track of his hinges years ago. I don’t think he’s even trying to be hinged, anymore. This is a guy who lots of our friends on the left find to be a reasonable, reliable source of information. This is a guy who’s got a gig at the University of Michigan, teaching your kids at a state-sponsored school.

  78. Education Guy says:

    Slart

    Yeah, I remember that. One border agent noticing a guy acting strange is somehow the most important distinction between Clinton and Bush on terrorism.

  79. happyfeet says:

    Juan Cole takes up airspace of a sort what more effective progressive fucktards could be using so he’s kind of a net plus probably.

  80. Slartibartfast says:

    One border agent noticing a guy acting strange is somehow the most important distinction between Clinton and Bush on terrorism.

    He may actually be right about that, but not in a way that reflects well on him.

  81. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Harvesting season opened in Berkeley today, so get you fresh picked moonbats before they’re all gone.

  82. happyfeet says:

    He may actually be right about that, but not in a way that reflects well on him.

    That’s cryptic… what does that mean? Is it I need more coffee? Tuesdays are stupid anyway. I need to snap out of it. New mantra. I lurvs my dead-end job. I lurvs my dead-end job. I lurvs my dead-end job.

  83. JD says:

    I lurvs my dead end job. Classic. I have been kind of melancholy about mine recently.

  84. happyfeet says:

    The new year will bring lots of … new. Here’s hoping.

  85. Ric Locke says:

    Juan Cole isn’t stupid. He’s a fool. The distinction is important.

    Cole spent years making contacts and getting “in” with the autocrats of Arabia — the Mubaraks, the Husseins (both Saddam and the real ones), the Assads — and with the uppercrust sheikhs and imams who support them. He actually is a real authority on those people, and has internalized their attitudes: lip service to Islam so long as it yields sex and political preference, taking the Shi’ia as unwashed hicks and the Kurds as wild-eyed extremists, using the Palestinians as propaganda pawns because they can’t compete with the Israelis, and using oil money to play the Europeans off against one another and the US to preserve their power structures. His entire line of thought is a direct continuation of the (in retrospect, disastrous) manipulative policies of the Brits, the French, and to a lesser extent the Germans in the last half of the nineteenth century and the first half of the twentieth, except that his expertise (such as it is) ends abruptly at the Iranian border.

    American policy and activities toward and in the Middle East since the Nineties, including that of the Clinton Administration, has tended to enfranchise Shi’ia, Kurds, and Arab minorities such as the Marsh Arabs, in direct opposition to the quasi-secular Sunni Cole gets along with. This makes Cole’s knowledge obsolescent or obsolete, and crosses a lot of satphone numbers off his Roladex. He naturally reacts, and since he has a position and would prefer to defend it rather than starting over learning what’s going on, it ends up being bitterly defensive. Just nod and MoveOn.

    Regards,
    Ric

  86. JD says:

    happy – New Hope Change – That is the Baracky Way, no?

  87. MarkD says:

    I believe Olby could be fixed with duct tape. No one has tried enough yet.

  88. SarahW says:

    Ric, thanks for that. I have stayed away from Cole for some time, but have wanted backstory about his curious trajectory away from sense.

  89. Slartibartfast says:

    That’s cryptic… what does that mean?

    I dunno. It looked ok when I typed it, but right after I hit Post I found myself hoping that no one would notice that part.

  90. JD says:

    Mark D – I am a duct tape believer, but even its awesomeness could not overcome that what ails Oblermouthdiarrhea.

  91. SarahW says:

    I have so much on my to-do list that I can only contemplate the stupid things on stupid Tuesday.
    Like, I need hand soap. And kitty food. Goals, a person needs them.

  92. SarahW says:

    Otherwise I think I’d be sliding into panic.

  93. SarahW says:

    A general contactor might be nice.

  94. JD says:

    SarahW – Loved that pic about the Subway sandwiches. Good stuff. By that I mean the pic, not Subway.

  95. kelly says:

    Otherwise I think I’d be sliding into panic.

    No problem. Just start hysterically slandering the GOP VP candidate and you’ll start feeling better immediately.

  96. JD says:

    Sarah – If you find a good general contractor, send ’em my way.

  97. SarahW says:

    Seriously, what is Olberman’s deal. I’d bring up his eyebrows, but that wouldn’t be fair.

  98. JD says:

    SarahW – I think that Olberdouche is the natural evoluation of someone that does not play well with others, it disliked by others at a fundamental level, and believes itsself to be exponentially more smart and clever than anyone it encounters. Voila! Olberfuckface.

  99. Slartibartfast says:

    Yeah, I remember that. One border agent noticing a guy acting strange is somehow the most important distinction between Clinton and Bush on terrorism.

    Content was only one dumb component. Timing was another one entirely.

  100. Jeff G. says:

    Oops, Had no idea you all were carrying on an extended Dr Cole discussion. While you were doing so, though, I was responding to his Salon piece.

    The difference being, he gets paid to write his stuff.

    Life ain’t fair.

  101. […] (h/t Carin) Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:21 am | Trackback SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: “Q: What’s the difference between Dr Juan Cole and a pitbull?”, url: “https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=13232” });   […]

  102. JD says:

    Jeff – I think another fundamental difference is that Cole, both of them, are mendoucheous douchenozzles.

  103. Slartibartfast says:

    I was astonished to see how quickly you put together a response that much at length, Jeff, but I couldn’t put that into a comments in a way that didn’t sound fawning.

    Which, I know you hate the whole fawning thing.

  104. happyfeet says:

    The ads is missing. For Mr. Reynolds too. I think maybe they had trouble transitioning from the PJTV beta promotion to regular stuff.

  105. happyfeet says:

    I think maybe they had trouble transitioning from the PJTV beta promotion to regular stuff?

  106. T&T says:

    Jeff,
    Some of your posts are just – well – disturbing. Then I get it. Some of us are slow. I wish we had political TV satire here a la BBC and that you wrote for it.

    Cheers, mate!

    T&T

  107. Randy says:

    I happen to work for a good general contractor, but we’re sort of commercial, not residential

  108. JimK says:

    To think this fellow almost made it to Yale, thank G-d for the Zionist Globalists, Inc. who managed to kill the appointment.

  109. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – feets. Something tells me you think maybe they had trouble transitioning from the PJTV beta promotion to regular stuff.

Comments are closed.