for Sartre
Once upon a time, a man with a stitched up finger decided he’d had enough of his finger being all stitchy, and that it was time to get the stitches removed.
Unfortunately, the man was also hungry. So instead of driving to the urgent care facility to have the stitches removed, the man made himself a turkey and avocado wrap with provolone and wasabi mustard, then took himself a sweet-ass power nap.
When he awoke, the man with the stitched up finger, feeling refreshed, decided he’d had enough of his finger being all stitchy, and that it was time to get the stitches removed.
Unfortunately, the man was also hungry —
~ finis ~
But I think this time I’ll just have a protein bar or something.
Eat, sleep, eat, sleep…not merely Sisyphean, downright primitivistic.
Maybe you should have a Coke instead. Some Cheetoz. Use your imagination.
Stiches are a cinch to remove – but only when they are ready to come out.
This sounds a little like that movie “Ground Hog Day”.
Maybe you’re in some alternate universe or other plane of existence…
Was your first instinct to go for the wrap again?
I fear that this site may be above my pay grade…
Ribbed, for her pleasure.
I’d guess you’re right-handed and the screwup was on your right hand, correct? Definitely prevents you removing them yourself, but maybe your wife can do it for you. Saves some money you can use for a bottle of booze, or a book or something…
Virgilio Pinera, “Insomnia”:
The man goes to bed early. He cannot sleep. Naturally he tosses and turns in bed. He gets tangled up in the sheets. He lights a cigarette. He reads a little. He turns out the light again. But he cannot sleep. At three in the morning he gets up. He wakes his friend by his side and confides in him that he cannot sleep. He asks for advice. The friend suggests he take a short walk to tire himself out a little. That he then drink a cup of linden tea and turn out the light. He does all these things but he still cannot manage to fall asleep. He gets up once more. This time he goes to the doctor. As usual, the doctor has a lot to say, but the man does not fall asleep. At six in the morning he loads his revolver and lifts it to his forehead. The man is dead but he still has not able to doze off. Insomnia is a very persistent condition.
‘Tis free. Going now.
Coupla Hot Pockets and you’re out the door.
I share with you an example of mad business skillz.
“Excuse me,” I said to the man behind the counter, “What is that in the dish?”
He replied, “It does look like a big dish of semen, doesn’t it?”
Which it did, but that’s not what I had asked.
Walking up to my place after returning from the grocery store, I saw that one of the local bangers and his blue-haired, dreadlocked GF were sitting on a bench. They’d gotten a whole lot of those plastic bubble-packing sheets, and were excitedly popping the bubbles and giggling.
And a Happy Labor day to you and yours, too!
Bob Reed,
Every day is groundhog day lately.
Bummer, huh?
wow, that’s some nap if you were hungry again. did you dream about wrestling… with a snake?
Once there was a Republican candidate for President who got tired of Leftist activists calling everyone in sight “sexist pigs”, while at the same time managing to completely destroy the career of any women that dared try to actually break the good ole boy glass ceiling. They screamed and screamed, but of course any real progress, like real civil rights, meant they would lose their “victim” card, and it was obvious they would cease to exist without that.
So he just sucked it up and chose a very fine capable woman as his VP running mate, and in one quick move completely disenfranchise the entire dogma of the unwashed Leftist mob of man haters.
– Then he sat back and watched as they all ran around yelling sexist things in a panic, which of course simply proved they were, in the end, a bunch of low life haters that just wanted to fuck over all men, and most women too when it came to it. Children, they just used as props when it was convenient. “Despicable people” he thought, as he watched the chaos unfold.
– So he made himself a tossed Ceasar salad with a tangy oil/vinegarette based dressing, and watched the exploding Progressive heads.
– And it was good.
~middle finger~
I’m back. Temp stitches for 4-5 more days. Deep gash healed nicely.
Over on the sidebar you can see the ads for Pajamas TV.
I am not part of their lineup. But I’m sure it’ll be super anyhow. Bringing you fresh new out of the mainstream voices like Glenn Reynolds, Michelle Malkin, LGF, Roger Simon…
Groundbreaking, I think.
Yay team!
Look, finger puppets!
Has your finger decided to talk to you again civily yet? Or is it still punishing you?
Use a fingernail clipper… dip it in hydrogen peroxide first.
Then pretend it hurts real bad and have a shot of tequila washed down with a few cold coronas.
Hurts. Gotta keep it straight again. Can’t get it wet for 24 hours. 4-5 days before temp stitches dissolve. Then, we’ll see.
First thing I want to do is heavy bag work. That oughtta test the structural integrity of the “healed” wound.
Over on the sidebar you can see the ads for Pajamas TV.
I am not part of their lineup.
You made a vague reference about meeting some folks a few days back and doing something convention related, did that not pan out?
Jeff,
Even better, a woodworking project that requires you to hold the nails with your injured finger. [Ouch!]
T&T
Just in case someone out there does try this, please clip the side of the stitch without the knot.
Then grab the knot with tweezers and pull.
Then show up five days later at the Dr’s with your grimy toenail clipper and ask ’em if maybe the rasberry colored infection oozing blue green came from this?
Avocado? You are so fucking gay. NTTAWTT. But then you come around with the wasabi, so shit, maybe you’re not so fucking gay. NTTAWTT. Funny coincidence, if it is at all, the day you cut your finger, my most beautiful and wonderful little girl stepped on a piece of glass. Turned out she needed surgery to get it out. She’s hobbling around on crutches but is doing well. Oh, I bought a new bottle of scotch. The 12 year old Old Pulteney. If you’re thinking of trying an out of the way Scotch, this is it. It’s very similar to Macallan or Balvenie to my tastebuds. Anyhow, fairly inexpensive but very tasty. Worth a try.
Sleep, decide to eat, sleep again… sounds like a typical Saturday to me.
If you try to do bag work with an incision less than a week clear of all stitches – and you mean to actually STRIKE with that hand – then keep a camera around because the stuff that pops out of the wound site will rate an 8 X 10 glossy for the memory wall.
Just saying. Glad you are better.
I tell, stitches are for pussies. Staples are where it’s at.
Actually, staples are really fricken gross.
When I did the kidney thing (which they messed up, and I ended up with a ten foot incision AND three port sites) they closed the darn thing with steristrips on the outside. TAPE. I donated a kidney, and they closed me up with TAPE.
Which, of course, I was allergic to.
But, to make this more about Jeff – I couldn’t see the video (wouldn’t work) but that must have been some gash to warren MORE stitches.
Ok, it wastn’t ten feet. But, it’s like fricken huge.
Jeff, you need to treat that finger carefully for the next month; TmjUtah is exactly right. Not actively bleeding is not the same as fully healed.
I asked the doc if I could resume normal activity after the temp stiches came out. She said if it’s healed, go ahead — that right now, I had a superficial gash, with the deep gash having been fully healed.
I’ll look at it Thursday and decide. But I have heavy training to do before shooting an upcoming catch wrestling video for a major MA Press; Tony wants me in top condition — and considering how I’ll be involved in the striking instruction — I have to start boxing again real soon.
If the doc clearly understands that you plan to be hitting a heavy repeatedly, hard, and still says it’s ok, then I’m not prepared to gainsay her. That’s a big if, though; are you sure she doesn’t think you’re just a normal guy who doesn’t go around punching things for exercise?
I’m a strapping man. She must have smelled my musk.
Besides. I’ll wear gloves, naturally, and can put extra tape on my finger.
If I hit with the tip of my index finger, though, I should really give up the boxing anyway, I think.