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My eleventh brief conversation with the 2mg regimen of Klonopin (clonazepam) prescribed me by my GP

me: “I gotta tell you, buddy. Mixing you with Absinthe and some quarter cask single malt last night? Made me feel like one of them alien abductees. It’s like I lost time.”

Klonopin: “Yeah, too bad, that. Because I had the video camera running. And I can tell you that the only anal probing going on here last night happened when you stumbled over your swivel chair and cornholed yourself with the speaker bar of that bluetooth headset.”

Klonopin: ” — Which, you might consider washing that thing if you plan on keeping it so close to your mouth like that…”

66 Replies to “My eleventh brief conversation with the 2mg regimen of Klonopin (clonazepam) prescribed me by my GP”

  1. TaiChiWawa says:

    And what does the bluetooth headset have to say about the evening’s events?

  2. The Thin Man says:

    Bluetooth Headset : “Searching for Devices…..”

    Bluetooth Headset: “Paired”

  3. mojo says:

    Hey, look on the bright side – you coulda woke up with an ear tag and a big pink “14” spray-painted on your back.

    Trust me, that shit’s no fun.

  4. Pablo says:

    Valium would never talk to you like that.

  5. TheGeezer says:

    Made me feel like one of them alien abductees.

    You don’t have any repressed memories of any probing, do you?

  6. Barrett Brown says:

    The Klonopin is lying to you. Do not trust it. It has its own agenda. It is probably associated with the Freemasons in some capacity.

    I was never here. I never said this.

  7. Cowboy says:

    I once had a similar discussion with an Ativan bottle sitting beside a half-empty glass of red wine.

    Minus the anal probing.

  8. Cowboy says:

    But much, much sleepier.

  9. McGehee says:

    Klonopin sounds like a Russian name. It probably wants you to invade Georgia. Not that we down here in the Peach State wouldn’t be glad to see you, but you need to cover the convention and it ain’t in Atlanta.

  10. urthshu says:

    Stupid clownopin

  11. Jeff G. says:

    BB —

    Will be ringing you up here soon. Busy weekend fending off children with high speed internet access.

  12. happyfeet says:

    I don’t even know what klonopin is really or how you say it. Also this is an anal sex joke I think. Gayweasel will like that. Hey look. Jimmie got an instalanche thing. I like that post he wrote. I hadn’t heard about how stupid Pelosi was on Meet the Press. She’s addled in a kind of scary way I think. I don’t understand why the media doesn’t call her on how stupid she is. Probably cause she’s a woman of sorts.

  13. Pablo says:

    Oh. Nice. And he didn’t even get to the part where she said the Catholic Church really hasn’t taken a position on when life begins.

    See Hot Air for that bint, er… bit.

  14. cranky-d says:

    That klonopin is kind of a buzzkill. Fairly unfriendly little pill.

  15. SarahW says:

    Like “Klondike” and “terrapin” put together. A little like the pancake rabbit.

  16. SarahW says:

    I’ve never had any. I don’t know what it’s like. Althought I hope it really is like having a pancake rabbit, or at least a nice picture of one. Maybe it’s like that spaghetti cat.

  17. SarahW says:

    Pelosi – addled like one o’ them thousand-year eggs.

  18. SarahW says:

    Maybe she cleans her ears with an immersion blender.

  19. SarahW says:

    Oh, that wasn’t nice. I’m bitter because I was just about to lay the money down of a car, and it turns out that someone smoked in it on a test drive, and oh well. Off the list.

  20. happyfeet says:

    oh. so the emphasis is on the first syllable then I guess. okay. Is 2 mg a lot?

  21. happyfeet says:

    Just cause someone smoked in it once? For real? I didn’t realize the smell was that persistent.

  22. happyfeet says:

    But then I can hardly smell it anymore.

  23. SarahW says:

    Well, it’s big selling point was that it was in perfect condition.

    The invisible particulates get everywhere. The tars stick to the headliner. It never comes out all the way, though it diminishes.

  24. SarahW says:

    It burns like farging acid, too. I guess I’m allergic.

  25. SarahW says:

    It has caused social embarassment.

  26. happyfeet says:

    Got it. Still you might could use it to get them to knock something off. Then just put a bowl of fabuloso in it and leave it in the sun for a day. I have great faith in fabuloso.

  27. SarahW says:

    The car was just a jewel. Pristine. A steal. So now I might as well get that E55 AMG

  28. SarahW says:

    Well, fabuloso. I like that idea.

  29. Sdferr says:

    The voters have leave it to the party members to choose the party leaders. How else could this be? I can’t think of a way offhand. But that system results necessarily in precisely the possibility we now see made manifest before our eyes. Genuinely ignorant or stupid people, many of them, in charge of things. (Specifically Pelosi, Reid, Obama. But really I could throw in Biden too.)

    What to do? I don’t have a useful idea, outside of that old bromide, education of the potential future party members (everybody, iow). Problem is it takes so damn long to have any useful effect. And even then it’s iffy.

    Clonazepam seems to be useful as an anti-convulsant, one of the same sorts of things as sodium bromide was used for. Maybe it’s not as sedativey on account of not at all bromidey.

  30. psycho... says:

    I’ve never had any.

    +

    someone smoked in it on a test drive

    = Have some.

    Worst-case irony: Hystrionic reaction to marginal sensory stimuli can be a sign of frontotemporal dementia — which niocotene can be used to treat symptomatically, and seems (possibly) to prevent.

  31. happyfeet says:

    This is funny. Did SarahW just get pwned a little? I think maybe. I have this thing where I love fudgsicles but I can’t deal with my teeth or tongue touching the stick part. It completely creeps me out. After this box is gone I’m not getting any more cause I can’t find the double ones at Ralph’s and the fudgsicle/stick part ratio is way too low on these single ones.

  32. SarahW says:

    Psycho –

    HATER! No, I don’t like smokey cars. Not for that money anyway.

  33. urthshu says:

    Shoulda went with the Hearse.

    Nobody smoked in that, I’ll betcha.

  34. Smokers are so defensive.

  35. Psycho trolled my deepest fear, which is Pick’s disease, because there is this one lady who shops at the Ukrops who has it, and you do NOT want to get in the line behind her.

  36. I don’t know. We put my Mom’s ashes in a hearse.

  37. urthshu says:

    You forgot to add “WTF is your problem?” to that, SarahWeasel

  38. And we had to pick them up just that morning.

  39. Oh Happyfeet, those sticks taste terrible.

  40. happyfeet says:

    They taste bad and they have this texture that’s just wrong. This is a texture that says no this is not something you put in your mouth.

  41. SarahW says:

    You might think those freezy-pop stickless popsicles would be better, but dang, nothing like sharp plastic slicing the corner of your mouth.

  42. Sdferr says:

    Avoid Doctors with sticks.

  43. happyfeet says:

    oh. I don’t think the stickless ones come in chocolate anyway. But you’re right about that plastic. Popsicle is supposedly making what used to be called Jello Pudding Pops again. I will look for those. I might have ignored them cause they didn’t say Jello like they’re supposed to. Maybe they have better stick parts. Also they have all these frozen thingers from Mexico at the Vallarta market that look really festive. I think I might get a passle of those.

  44. happyfeet says:

    google says that should be passel.

  45. Sdferr says:

    Passel. That looks like a Swiss word. Kinda neutralish.

  46. SarahW says:

    Is it a corruption of parcel? Like a parcel of rogues in a nation? Which, the Swiss, fat chance getting any help there.

  47. IWood says:

    Klonopin? Your benzo-fu is week. Real men who can handle having their GABA receptors modulated take Xanax.

  48. IWood says:

    Furthermore, your benzo-fu is weak.

  49. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Get the Tupperware-style popsicle molds and make ’em yourself. Nice, soft plastic “sticks”, and it’s like five orders of magnitude less expensive.

    A packet of plain Koolaid and a cup of sugar, added to about 6 cups of water (rather than the 8 cups/2 quarts you use for making regular liquid Koolaid) and you’ve got 6 pops for about fifty cents.

  50. happyfeet says:

    They kinda have to be chocolate. It’s sort of all I have some days.

  51. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    You can make ’em with Jello Instant Pudding, too.

  52. Bill Cosby says:

    I’m Bill Cosby, and I approve this message.

  53. happyfeet says:

    Oh. I can try. And make the sugar free ones even. I will get those mold thingies at Target next time.

  54. SarahW says:

    Happyfeet,:
    Chocolate Ice!

    For those days when your car got smoked in.

  55. Sdferr says:

    Like every day probably. At least I know my truck is that way.

  56. Slartibartfast says:

    I’ve always wanted to own a hearse. I hear you can put an entire hot-tub in the back end, and still have room for a mattress.

    I haven’t got the whole hot-tub-sloshing problem figured out, yet, admittedly.

  57. SarahW says:

    I live in Virginia ’cause Dad was a Chemist at Philip Morris. Figuring out how to kill you,and make you really like it. Later he went around the world making sure cigarettes around the world were tasty/killy enough. He quit smoking after he started working there.

  58. SarahW says:

    This one time, when I was sevenish, he came back from India and Pakistan, and I remember forming the idea that Pakistan was nuts.

  59. Sdferr says:

    I picked it up from my mom. It is indeed slow motion suicide.

  60. SarahW says:

    And he brought me a doll from the market, and it was a woman, who had these shackle things on her ankles and a pin through the nose. I thought, What is WRONG with those people.

  61. happyfeet says:

    oh hey. I bought a whisk so I could make that and I forgot. Bookmarking.

  62. SarahW says:

    My Grandad was a chain smoker. We visited for lengthy periods. I don’t remember it ever bothering me, though I would pester him to quit based on PSA ads that I had seen. He dropped dead of it the first week he retired.

  63. happyfeet says:

    That sucks. I want to quit hopefully early next year.

  64. Silver Whistle says:

    Mixing you with Absinthe and some quarter cask single malt last night?

     Quarter cask – Laphroig quarter cask? And absinthe? A dude would have to be pretty desperate to commit such a heinous malt crime such as that.

  65. Rusty says:

    #63
    Both my mother in law and father in law died of emphasema. If you’ve ever watched someone die that way you’ll never smoke.

Comments are closed.