Sure, I could‘ve had a big honking stack of flapjacks — with a side of thick-sliced hickory bacon and maybe some toast points. But, honestly? The Fruity Pebbles were closer.
Plus, no grease spatter!
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Recent Comments
- In The Mailbox: 02.28.23 (Afternoon Edition) : The Other McCain on Hey, longtime pw readers…
- In The Mailbox: 12.23.22 : The Other McCain on Patrick J. Carroll truly IS a sad, embittered psychopath
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Aww, man, the grease is ther best part.
And, may I add, that, as one of your intentionalist students, I believe you were really asserting Pebbles is lesbian.
Cereal bigot!
yeah, but just think about how much you’d get done before you crash from the sugar rush, Geezer.
Jeff will be able to go through walls!
“Eat the cereal, let the kids watch.”
Well, we sure as hell knew you weren’t going to eat the Cocoa Pebbles!
Racist.
Or maybe you were?
Racist!
No milk. Ah! but there’s a splash or two of orange juice left. No clean bowls? Well, that Tupperware container will work . . .
The mere fact that Fruity Pebbles does not include Cocoa Pebbles Smacks of racism.
What happended to the oatmeal?
As a crazy person, I spend most of my free time making lists of the few things on earth that don’t need to be consumed by apocalyptic fire.
One of the constants on my lists was Fruity Pebbles. But now they don’t taste like they used to. What the fuck happened?
There’s no need to guess that their worsening is the result of a subsidy for some shitty ingredient. It just is. That’s always why food gets worse.
And I blame the cave-Jews, of course, but for what?
VO: Pectin?
No shit?
Every morning I open the cupboard and look at the kids’ breakfast cereal. Then I sigh and make oatmeal with Uncle Sam cereal (flaxseeds and whole grain flakes.)
Fight the nutritionalist power structure for me!
Another round of strangely colored high-fructose corn syrup, anyone?
You passed on thick-sliced hickory bacon?
Seriously?
Are you sure it was really bacon?
My older daughter lives on bacon and potato chips. She’s so skinny, I can’t get pants that fit.
My other son eats hot dogs and ramen noodles, and again – excellent shape.
Go figure.
I do like a nice bowl of surreal for breakfast.
Trader Joe’s “High Fiber” cereal is really unappealing. But it’s cheaper than the Kashi kind. Still, when this box is gone I doubt I’ll get me anymore.
I think anymore should be two words there.
Porcophobe.
Hmmmm…Fruity Pebbles in bacon grease. I’m gonna have to try that.
“fruity” pebbles are just the right thing to prepare for the mandatory “volunteer” work necessary to get the citizen journalist a ticket for the meSSaih’s coronation at Invesco…
“Comment by happyfeet on 8/13 @ 12:07 pm #
Trader Joe’s “High Fiber†cereal is really unappealing. But it’s cheaper than the Kashi kind. Still, when this box is gone I doubt I’ll get me anymore.”
Eat the box. Throw the cereal away.
After the second box you’d be a serial box eater.
I rather prefer the more classical-sounding porcinophobe.
Or, maybe, after the second box you’d be a serial cereal box eater.
Well, I did hear that to get ahead in the County where I work, it helps if you eat box.
ROBERT’S FRUITY PEBBLES SQUARES
1/4 c. butter
1 (10 oz.) pkg. marshmallows or 4 c. miniature marshmallows
6 c. Fruity Pebbles cereal
Melt butter in large saucepan over low heat. Add marshmallows and stir until completely melted; remove from heat. Add cereal and stir until well coated. Using buttered spatula or waxed paper, press mixture evenly into buttered 13 x 9 x 2 inch pan. When cool, cut into squares. Makes 24 bars.
Hey! You got pragma in my smegma!
‘flapjacks’, but no flapjills?
You misogynistic porcinophobe!!
What no waffle?
As a crazy person, I spend most of my free time making lists of the few things on earth that don’t need to be consumed by apocalyptic fire.
I presume you mean that it’s crazy to assume there are such things, and that they exist in such quantities that you could aggregate them into lists.
I eat a big breakfast every day, big. Huge. Or at least I thought I did, until I saw what Michael Phelps eats for breakfast. Good Allah. 3 fried egg sandwiches. Bacon. Sausage. 3-egg omelette. 4 french toast. 3 chocolate chip pancakes. And hash browns.
geoffb:
The new breakfast cereal, Natural Honey-Speckled Twatwaffles, will soon be available. They’re a natural with a big glass of the new instant powdered breakfast drink PruneTang.
Look for both at a store near you!
That line about breakfast being the most important meal of the day is pure propaganda from the Big Breakfast Food Industry. I find that a 24 oz cup of 7-11 coffee works just fine. Only hangover days require stronger measures.
Aldo, have you tried Turbo at Dunkin’ Donuts. 32 freaking ounces of coffee with a shot of espresso. Get it iced some time when you’re thirsty, but get an EKG first…
breakfast is importanter than the other meals cause you can get away with more carbs and that can make you a happier person
On the Michael Moore diet, you get to eat bacon grease for breakfast.
What the hell is the matter with you people?
Corn Syrup?
Corn Flakes?
WE NEED THE DAMN CORN FOR FUEL! THERE IS AN ENERGY CRISIS, YA KNOW!!
NO CORN FOR CEREAL!
You’ll eat your flapjacks and bacon and SWALLOW IT DOWN!
FOR THE CHILDRENSES!!!
Fuckin’ racist.
This morning : 3 pancakes, scrambled eggs, 6 pieces of bacon, hash brown and wheat toast at Cracker Barrel, with a pot of coffee.
YEA! Another thread with Michael Phelps in it. Yum! I think we need a picture.
FTR – I’m a yogurt for breakfast gal. I only want coffee, but I know I’m supposed to eat something.
Geezer, I’m gonna have to look into that “Turbo” thing.
Wholewheatovoporcinopotatojavaphile.
Turbo is good.
Turbo make eyedirt expel while on way to work.
Geezer loves Turbo.
So, tomorrow, I am going to Dunkin Donuts for breakfast. This Turbo, it is intriguing.
PruneTang!
I am simultaneously intrigued and revolted.
JEFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For heaven’s sake. Why is your freakin mailbox full? I need to send you something and there is a time limit. Please e-mail me!
Rightwingsparkle@hotmail.com
RWS is a hottie too ;-)
Turbo is quite nice and a welcome addition to the morning shock set.
Geezer, find yourself some Green Mountain Coffee Sumatran Reserve. It’s organic and free trade so you can make a liberal coo with delight. It’s dark, smokey and, if ground and scooped properly, makes hairy man coffee that widens eyes and arteries. Not for the faint of heart or weenie boys.
Might even grow hair on JD’s head but I’m not promising anything.
Carin, there is no corn in Yogurt so you care about the childrenses, as long as you get wither unsweetened or artificial sweetener. I’ll be watching.
Well, great. If I drank that stuff the combover from the buttocks toward the front might actually work…I’ll let you know. Hmmm. It would give a whole new meaning to bangs.
awww…thanks JD.
Y’all come see my new digs!
http://mytexasmag.com/blogs/kathleenmckinley
Aldo, have you tried Turbo at Dunkin’ Donuts. 32 freaking ounces of coffee with a shot of espresso. Get it iced some time when you’re thirsty, but get an EKG first…
The Turbo sounds good. The other reason I stop at 7-11 in the morning is to buy the Los Angeles Times, so that I can get the Democratic party’s spin on the day’s news. Dunkin Donuts will only work for me if they sell the newspaper.
BJT’s psychosexual fascination with JD’s head is a bit alarming.
We’ll no doubt look back at this one day and see it as the cry for help that it is.
I H-A-T-E the grease splatter. What with all the new stainless steel-faced appliances I was cajoled into buying at Sears during the nineties.
I’m a slave to fashion. And if one wants the shine, the grease-spot must be your archetypal enemy.
Rightwingsparkle: are you sending to his new address? Email me at vermontaigne-at-gmail.com and I’ll send it to you.
That reminds me. I have to call my housekeeper.
Breakfast is not only the most important meal of the day, it should also be the biggest. That Phelps guy, he eats big, he swims fast. Connection? I think it requires more field study.
Hell, I’m in awe of Phelps and I’m not even gay. At least as far as I know.
I hate it when they talk, these Olympians. Michael told me today that winning gold medals never gets old. Well, duh, I thought to myself. The other day one of his teammates what won the relay, he said Michael understands that we didn’t win just so he had a shot at eight gold medals. And I thought oh for real? You wanted a gold medal for yourself you mean. Interesting. Who’da thunk.
I could never eat before swimming. A guy like Phelps has no after swimming time, though, so he’d starve if he didn’t.
All that sausage bouncing around inside my stomach would make me hurl.
You know what never gets old? Winning gold medals. No, for real.
Unfortunately, there are none up North, but The Waffle House is my idea of breakfast heaven.
The best way to enjoy breakfast at a Waffle House is to go directly from the bar when it closes, and, in a drunken stupor, have one of everything.
Boy, do I miss that.
And Shoney’s “all you can eat” breakfast is another delight. One of my all time favorite hangover cures when I forgot to take aspirin before going to bed. By the time I got home, I was ready to sleep until my hangover was gone. Nothing like a huge breakfast to put you right back to sleep.
mmmm, mmmm, GOOD!
Agreed, hf. Just ask those 9 year old Chinese gymnasts.
But Gold Medal Flour does get old.
/feeling ripped off
You do realize that whereas Cocoa Pebbles is racist, Fruity Pebbles is homophobic.
You people never stop with the epithets, do you?
Even living here in Cereal City USA I’ve never heard of “Natural Honey-Speckled Twatwaffles”. Probably a General Mills product so not from here. “PruneTang” on the other hand would have to be General Foods, aka Post Cereals and so I should have seen it around. Sounds disgusting but no more than Instant Postum.
My usual actual breakfast is a pot of coffee, light and sweet.
Der Waffle Haus?
I’m always cautious about getting too much cereal with my morning sugar. A gourmet 24oz coffee and griddle-fresh sausage egg biscuit from QuikTrip is more my speed. I love it, and judging by my bathroom scale, it’s making more of me to love.
Happy, don’t hate on the Michael. That body of his … it pierces my SOUL.
Oh, Drat. Didn’t we ban pregnant pauses earlier today? Sorry.
kelly @ 50 is hysterical.
RWS – Nice new digs? Can I cuss? ;-)
RWS and MayBee would prolly get along great.
Carin – Better Half told me this morning if she ever met Phelps she was leaving me. I guess she could do worse.
The best way to enjoy breakfast at a Waffle House is to go directly from the bar when it closes…
That is the best way to enjoy breakfast period for me. Anything preceded by getting out of bed is doomed to be a let down in my mind.
Well, she’d have to climb over me to get him. If I could figger out how, I’d have a picture of him up at the pub. Stupid internet is slow as molasses tonight.
Carin – She would walk over your lovely but fallen body after she whipped out some freaky Vietnamese-fu on you.
Waffle House is a slice of heaven. On our last cross country Harley Ride, we ate nothing but Waffle House and Steak & Egg for 6 straight days. Good times.
Oh, Michael Phelps. I came in late and thought you were talking about Fred.
I was trying to phrase a tactful sympathy note to JD on the occasion of his wife going insane… heh.
Spies – Was her insanity really ever in question? She married me, the surest sign of severe mental disturbance I can imagine. Voting for Baracky is another pretty good indicator. I am a racist.
I cook a hearty breakfast for the boys. They haz bacons and muffins and things.
I have a thinger of 2% greek yogurt every damn day of my life.
I am a little happier when the berries are on it.
Usually it’s an overdose of aspartame, though.
The last time I let myself have a muffin I ate nine.
I am going to make a bacon cake though. It’s science.
This one?
A bacon cake? Solid.
Anything in the world can be made better with bacon.
The chocolate covered-bacon is fat-pants worthy. I do want to see if I get glossy tempered chocolate onto bacon. But I will probably leave out the spray foam insulation in that one.
I’m going to start with the red-velvet bacon cake combo with cream cheese icing I saw recommended here.
http://www.chow.com/grinder/tag/red+velvet+bacon+cake
The link that hates me, up there.
SarahW – I think I am in love.
Or, was that some secret dog-whistle for Oliver Willis and Michael Moore.
That looks delicious. Copied to my recipe book to make when the weather cools a bit. I don’t like to use the oven in summer.
A refridgerated cheat could work – buy a red velvet cake and stud with bacon. Very Sandra Lee.
“Anything in the world can be made better with bacon.”
Except that it SPITS at me when I’m cooking it.
BAD bacon, BAD!
These No-Bake Blueberry Cheesecake Bars
are what I have been making recently using the blueberry syrup mentioned at the bottom. Tonite I’m trying it with strawberries. Hope it works.
“Comment by urthshu on 8/13 @ 4:13 pm #
Der Waffle Haus?”
Well, I wasn’t aware of the fact that they hire proctologists. But the gloves are a dead giveaway.
N. O’Brain – I’ve taken to baking bacon. It comes out better than fried bacon and no bacon pain.
Geoffb, oh yum.
All this talk of bacon cake made me think of this. You will be in awe, trust me.
I like to deep-fry bacon. It comes out perfectly crisp and evenly cooked, and it’s way faster than doing it any other way.
Contrary to what you might think, the bacon is not not any more greasy than bacon cooked by by other methods, even if it is a little bothersome to have more oil in the deep fryer after you’re done cooking than before.
The solution to using up the excess fat is to cool a round of hash-browns in the deep fryer right after you finish the bacon. :-)
Whoah. Applause for innovation in breakfast.
My big breakfast question really is who keeps pissing in cynn’s cornflakes:
https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=13149#comment-515174
That is what I want to know.
Thing about breakfast at Der Waffle Haus is, you do not want your name to end up on a Post-It® Note.
Deep fried bacon. My heart, it soars.
Bananas and protein but not tuna I thought we decided cause of what Barrett said so I made banana pineapple green tea yogurt smoothie but I forgot it in the freezer and it’s thawing in the sink now. I miss coffee so much and NG forgot to order it so there’s none even when I get to that place I go during the day so I am waking up with an enviga. Ok. More breakfast updates to follow as warranted.
Thanks to this thread, I went to Denny’s this morning and had a Moons Over My-hammy and a Super Slam, with something they alleged to be coffee. I will comment intermittently today, between trips to the head.
I used to like Denny’s. I still have a set of their coffee cups. But the one by Disney I got stuck at once when I first moved out here cause I had a date and I got lost coming home and the way they have that one is all tile and they actually hose it down in the middle of the night. I haven’t been back since then except for once I met a friend for coffee in the one at my hometown once and ran into one of my old teachers from junior high eating there and it was depressing. Also I worked at a Denny’s for a couple months in a small Texas town forever ago but I wasn’t feeling it. Mostly cause you had to wear a uniform and I got tired of washing it all the time. It was a good thing though cause I got to know the cops and that helped later.
Paula Dean called. Y’all are invited to a group myocardial infarction at her Savannah restaurant next Thursday.
The lard is free but bring your own body bag and fat scraper.
Actually it’s McGehee’s ginormous pumpkin that fascinates me but why am I responding to a guy who sexually abuses his USB ports? Hmmmmm, Kelly heavy breather?
BJ – How you manage to find humor in such a disjointed disparate set of topics is a joy. I am rolling … and concerned.
The banality of August has overwhelmed me I think. Dollhouse is a midseason show I found out yesterday. I had been kind of looking forward to that.
BJ, was that you I saw stalking the jack-o’-lantern on my porch last Halloween?
Admittedly, we did have to have it delivered by a fork-lift, and we did have to rent a jackhammer to carve it, but it’s been ten months now.
You have to let go.
Hey there is a new picture on the About page. When did that happen?
LOL. McGehee. Never use a jackhammer on a ginormous pumpkin. Always go for the friggin’ laser beam cutter. Smoother edges.
Kelly is unresponsive and needs to step away from the USB ports.
JD laughed and is now denounced as the attempts at humor were clearly biased and misogynistic. Because he laughed I am free from denouncement, being a conduit for exposing his bigotry.
Also: Portuguese Cinnamon Sweet Bread French Toast as made at the Black Dog Tavern in Martha’s Vineyard is both a breakfast served in heaven by angels and a fast track to a diabetic coma.
What a way to go, racists!
And, yes, all of the other menu items at Black Dog are almost equally as heavenly, as is the summer climate, beaches and celebrity sightings, although Dan Ackroyd is looking a lot like Shamu, I think.
What’s a USB port? Isn’t that some sort of racist code? Yeah, I thought so.
HF – the dot is new since the last time I looked, which was some months ago. But the big guy is as I remember him.
I just literally squished a big delicious pumpkin spice cake with raisins so I couldn’t eat more of it.
Maybe bacon cake is off the schedule today.
I hit it with a rolling pin and put it in a glad bag, and stomped it from orbit.
And that is a waste of food. I should have put it in the freezer but I feared it wouldn’t be fast enough.
That would be a bashed pragmatism.
Last time I looked at the About page, the dot was more like a depixillated blur. Wasn’t that bright blue thing.
USB = U sik bastage
oh. I guess I haven’t look to see what this place is about in awhile. I wonder if Mr. Goldstein will have anything to say today. Oh. I just refreshed. Not overwhelmed by the banality of August, that one. He is an example to us all I think.
I was gonna use the chainsaw, but it’s a puny thing without enough horsepower.
Good idea, but our house is right under the approach path for Hartsfield. Using a laser cutter in our driveway would be really bad mojo.