Mr. Obama: “For a long time now, and — most tellingly — amid a political climate suffused in the kind of macho militarism that is antithetical to peace and prosperity, I’ve been saying that the so-called ‘surge strategy’ devised by the Bush administration would not work in Iraq. As it turns out, I was completely correct in my assessment: on the surface, sure, the strategy looks to be a success. But that had more to do with the contributions of Iran and Saudi Arabia, and a Sunni Awakening that happened completely outside the failed efforts of our troops (whom, by the way, I love and respect), than with this adminstration’s plans.
“That, my friend — that willingness to stand athwart history yelling stop! — shows true leadership, a leadership based on adherence to principles rather than one based on political expediency or electoral popularity.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: “…Which, I think, speaks well of my foresight and vision for this country — a once great nation in desperate need of the kind of Hope and Change for which I stand.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: “…the point being, then, I won’t go along with the herd. That is, I am my own man, and I am willing to make unpopular decisions when I feel that such decisions are in the best interest of this country.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: “…and, like, future generations and whatnot.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: ” — you know, children. Who need affordable fruit — that kind of thing.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: “… ahem.”
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama:
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama:
Swingline stapler:
Mr. Obama: “…And that, my friend, explains why I have always been a big supporter of the surge strategy.
“– Incidentally, have I told you about my long-held belief in the right of every American to carry a concealed handgun…? Fuck it, let ’em buy their guns at 7-11, if that’s what the Constitution demands. See? How cool am I, am I right…?”
Barack’s most believable role yet! Straight man to a funny stapler.
Clearly not the red stapler.
Mr. Obama: So, you wanna shoot some hoops?
Swingline Stapler:
Mr. Obama: Um, let me just go get my photographer and a brace of synchophants…
Swingline Stapler: Sie bitte …ich verstehe nicht sie Englisch.
I like that Baracky quotes Buckley. I feels him so much better now. Goosebumples I tells ya, goosebumples.
I wonder if the Swingline Stapler is racist?
I think it’s very brave of Jesus H. Obama to sit down for one-on-one talks with office equipment without preconditions. It shows character.
Swingline is based in Illinois and Baracky he has 143 days of experience as a senator from there. Baracky represents this stapler, really, and yet it’s as if they’re talking past each other. This is troubling, and not inconsiderable pause does it give me.
this is not the stapler i once knew
OT and all [sorta] [and NOT to be incendiary], but I had a conversation with an everyday blue-collar kinda 50yo black guy today and he was saying [just offered it really] about how if Obama gets, you know, assassinated then he [the guy] is going to run around taking out whites. Which sucked. So I asked him what if Obama just turned out to be rotten and got impeached or whatever? He got quiet is all, wouldn’t answer.
Brrr. Weird talks I get into. Maybe I got to think a little, I’m hoping.
errr. Got him to think a little. Jeez
What if O! doesn’t get assassinated.. just loses the election.. is hunting season still open on Whitey?
Might be time to stock up on some brown shoe polish. I can speak passable jive if need be, it is actually fairly close to my native hillbillyese.
Ourboros: Yes, all black people – savage whitey-hating ape-creatures that we are -stand ready to wipe out masses of white people wantonly at the slightest provocation. Why would you ask such a silly question? I might just bust a cap in your ass out of annoyance.
Very clever, using a Swingline stapler for this bit. If you had used an Acco three hole punch, it would have been an entirely different story.
I think the stapler displayed more intelligence.
Perfesser: According to the Jonaherd, he is supposed to be reciting lines from Mein Kempf. You know, Leebrull Fashism and all…
a once great nation … Yes. Let us resolve that all nations –
including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has [insert nation here]. This is the moment to give our children back their future I think.
Oh. I stand behind Lisa.
My roommate once got one of the L lines in Chicago that goes south and an older black man stepped over to her and said “Uh, you know you’re on the Green line, right?” When she told him it was okay, she knew where she was. He walked off shaking his head worriedly.
Lisa, that’s not too far off in some places. Sadly.
LOL I figured it was better to let it pass, honestly. Maybe there’d be some tumult but nothing so bad as that, since Baracky at least would be around to talk to anybody upset, I guess. I just thought it was odd that that kinda stuff was on his mind and pointed towards how freaky the supporters are. Like, back away slowly
I know it is hard to type, but I think Barack’s part needs a lot more “umms” and “ers” and re-starts.
Frankly, I think Senator Obama has answered enough questions for Swingline Staplers. And their Tots, too.
Consider Stevie Staple Freak
Lisa – I didn’t ask, he offered.
He is the one the stapler has been waiting for.
The sticky notes, not so much. Because of teh racism.
You know that was the favorite stapler of Milton, the office drone, in “Office Space”
feets,
He could use a few personal examples of “Profiles in Courage”, couldn’t he? “When I successfully challenged the signatures on my opponents petition and succeeded in having her tossed off the ticket.” really isn’t much of a PT-109 moment – hell, it wasn’t even a ‘Christmas in Cambodia’ moment.
Maybe a description of how he got his opponents divorce records unsealed prior to his Senate ‘win’ would do the trick? He could bring Axelrod along as his Sundance Kid to explain how exjournos can make Chicago judges dance.
Then that damn Swingline would fall in line.
At least it’s a change from his usual pandering to the Dymo Labelmaker vote..
My stapler usually says something along the lines of “Ka-lick-ta”. I think that’s what’s called an Obamatopoeia
Mr. Obama: [leaves]
Swingline Stapler: Bostich.
Regards,
Ric
Baracky I think knew within a reasonable degree of certainty that his opponents were not the change we’d been waiting for is all, Rick. Baracky I think doesn’t do courage really. Well, the bowling thing was kind of brave. I don’t think I would have ever done that in front of people. I’d have been afraid they would laugh at me.
Lisa, for real, the there will be riots thing, I’ve heard people say that too, but it seems to have fallen off lately. I heard it way more when he was running against that Hillary person than now, and given the de facto consensus that the media is drunk on Baracky-love, I think that he lost it fair and square but hey he still made history sort of attitude is what’s in the offing. Anyone who riots or acts out really will feel really dorky the next day I think. That said, you couldn’t pay me to put a McCain bumper sticker on my car around here. It’ll be all well yeah it’s sad but the idiot had a McCain bumper sticker on his car.
Mr. Obama: … Was that a crack? That was a crack, wasn’t it? I knew it, a RACIST stapler! Sorry, interview over. I am uncompromising on this point.”
Barack: Just between you and I, Mr Blanc, I consider those staplers and sticky notes and paperclips and such to be whiny, gun-loving, bible thumping, fly-over supplies..
Mont Blanc Pen: ….
Barack: … not our sort of office supplies at all… if you know what I mean.
Have you noticed? They don’t make Swingline Staplers for lefties. Bastards.
“It’ll be all well yeah it’s sad but the idiot had a McCain bumper sticker on his car.”
I never heard what bumperstickers Reginald Denny had on his truck… if any.
I think they just busted a cap in his ass out of annoyance…
You know that was the favorite stapler of Milton, the office drone, in “Office Spaceâ€Â
I don’t even watch “Office Space” and I knew that.
So of course Jeff knows. Geez.
No one wants to be a Reginald.
…let ‘em buy their guns at 7-11…
I thought The Messiah™’s plan was to sell guns and ammo from vending machines.
Next to the beer and condom dispensers, I hasten to add. Beer, sex, guns. Gotta cover all the bases for the bitter folks, y’know.
What? God? Oh, every purchase starts a digital recording of Obama The Saviour reading from the Bible. Absolutely free.
See? Easy peasy, and a profit for The Prophet!
My Swingline says “LIFT CAP TO LOAD.” I think it’s a Southern religious expression.
A diversion for Friday, if you like – its about Mark E Smith and has some cool stuff in it, like ‘I can’t abide all that forced liberalism. In a strange way, they’re like fascists: walled off in their own little groups, not listening to people if they’re slightly right-wing. How closeted is that?’.
And a youtubey thing cuz its like The Fall and I couldn’t find Hostile anywhere [nbut if you see it let me know].
“Comment by Mr. Pink on 7/25 @ 2:48 pm #
I wonder if the Swingline Stapler is racist?”
It can’t be.
It’s black.
Mr. Obama: Well, if I can’t take any reporters in with me, why bother going to see the broken staplers?
WTF?
So the reason, if there is one, that one would allow a psychopath to walk about freely is because of his (or her, as it were) race?
Not according to whatever part of the United States of America you live in.
Call the police.
Now.
Or don’t go off topic.
I sure hope that an apology is in your future, urthshu.
oh. That’s very zero tolerance, EasyLiving1, but I’m sure he didn’t really mean it. If I’m wrong won’t that be something though? This thread could be like evidence.
No no no, I’m sure it doesn’t come acrost right on the reading end. Prob’ly just talking crap, and anyway it was said OK, despite the veiled threat-y aspect.
“Nobody ever gave him a good turn. What do you expect? He was always let down. They never wanted to let his action down. But also they wanted it sublime, Sheffieldism and equality equally. It was always in the middle for him. On the fields. Brooklands. They said tone it down. We all understood him. But he is hostile.”
[hehe]
Mr. Happy Sir,
You’re so close to approaching the threshold of “be(ing) something” that it’s scary.
Really.
I read fuh a rrrrr cccccckkkkk
every day.
That’s a lotta fucked up shit. Every single day. So, what’s left as far as surprise with regards to individual’s behavior?
oh. People surprise a lot I think. The trick really is to be the surprising one. At least sometimes.
happy,
If you’ve no more inclination than to respond to my comments on Jeff’s blog with “oh,” then just don’t comment.
Thank you.
Most Tellingly,
oh.I didn’t understand it really, not at all, but I still wanted to be polite and say something. I should have asked for clarification. I apologize. I’ll try and do better next time and it’ll be great.*shock*
urthshu said already she didn’t think the guy was a psychopath though. Are you that nice lady that lives in Houston? I like Houston. If I’m out there I always stop by the Transco water thinger. It makes me happy, always. I only go though if I like who I’m with. I don;t think they call it Transco anymore though, but I do.
Oh, the Swingline. That’s a good one. Solid.