Boilermakers. And lots of ’em. Because not only will they get you shitfaced in no time, but — your being dead and all — the worst that can happen is that you throw up a little moistened sawdust.
Small price to pay, it seems to me, if it means saying fuck it and breaking out “the sprinkler” while grooving to Shania on the dance floor at the Grizzly Rose.
I thought the dead hang out at the Karaoke bars in Parker…
“Girls in my house,” Barack added. “Sleepovers!”
Go Boilermakers!
The city is buying so long as you are willing to take a
homeless personvictim of Bushes war against the poor to a culturally significant place once you are good and toasted. Nothing better than getting drunk on the government teat, even if you are dead.Man. Sorry, y’all. Generally I like these kinds of posts to either begin the day or end the night. But you know, guest bloggers. What’s a boy to do?
Might I suggest the funky chicken sir?
oh, crap, sorry boss…
If bored, we can always Dowdify other posts. I rather like Darleen’s “sex…chaps my ass” post.
I rescheduled it…
There is no Darleen’s post, and any attempts to say there is will be seen as showing a grave sense of disloyalty to the party. Comrade.
…making my comment, above, much less amusing, thangyewberrymuch.
I a lot appreciate this forum. Thank you, Jeff.
As do I. Thanks Jeff.
I was just teasing, Darleen. Really.
But as a rule, when I was running this place myself, I did like to end on something like this. It was mental sorbet, cleansing the palette of that rank taste of political pudding.
Now, though, I’m hardly persnickity. Or however you spell it.
DICKEL AND GINGER ALE RULES!
Not to be confused with breaking out “your sprinkler” at Shotgun Willies…Because trust me, it gets a totally different reaction.
JeffG
I take my guestly obligations seriously… I mean, I refill the frig, sweep up the crumbs and I never filch the red pills behind the couch
(now your Scotch is another matter)
Jeff, you do indeed run a fine establishment. Thank you.
Darleen,
We got a sneak peek at your post, so expect at least 100 poorly worded, possibly insightful, mostly retarded, yet well itentioned comments tomorrow.
Shania played on the way home from Piekea and Carmax North. “For ever and for always”, she sang.
Sort of like being dead.
It was sad. All her true love songs are sad now.
Man, I feel like a seek button ought to be place a little closer to the driver.
placed.
Woo, and I’ll join in the thanks for a groovy establishment.
Pat Green, Sarah. Pat Green will make you happy.
I see that officials in Denver want the local homeless to go to the zoo, or otherwise make themselves invisible, during the Democratic National Convention.
Ok, I see Neo…and Sarah was here like ten minutes ago and left…where’d everybody else go?
Did someone turn the blog off? Everybody check your feet, you might have tripped over a cord or something.
oh, I’m here. *waves at Lamontyoubigdummy*
just not feeling entertaining.
yet.
(whispers) Yeah maggie…it feels kinda quiet. Like deer hunting.
Are you holding a scoped high-powered rifle too?
I’m closer to “passed out at camp after too many beers.”
I’m here, just waiting for Ric to quit being coy…
I’m closer to “passed out at camp after too many beers.â€Â
What camp? Deer camp? Hell woman, that’s four months from now. I’m sittin’ at the master bedroom window in my house with my rifle. I shouldn’t have listened to that goddamn real estate agent. “South Oak Cliff is the next Frisco”.
Bull. Shit.
heh. let me know when they get an Ikea.
– In which case begs thee the question; are you hunting deer or hippies?
– feets is here. Hes busy checking out the babes at Baracky’s pad. Yes he thinks Baracky is the SuXoR, but hey, politics can be a real downer when you’re prowling for trim.
I don’t like beer, so I wouldn’t like boilermakers, so I’m kinda glad I’m not dead.
“In which case begs thee the question; are you hunting deer or hippies?”
Neither. I’m stalking thugs. Ever watch “The First 48?” When they’re filming in Dallas, those perpetratin’ motherfuckers come from around here.
There’s an oasis part of South Oak Cliff that’s very afluent. I bought a house in it. Everything just an inch outside of it for miles and miles is flat out gansta slum. And we ain’t got no moat.
Yup. I’m here. That was a for real Baracky exclamation. It was from here.
“Pimpin (my kids) ain’t easy but it’s necessary
so I’m chasing bitches (opportunity), like Tom chases Jerry”
I learned everything I need to know from David Herman music collection in “Office Space.”
And yes, I had to Google “Office Space” to get his name. I typed in “office spuce.” It said do you mean “Office Space?”
Smug ass Google.
I meant “the” David Herman music collection.
Goddamnit, this is why Jerry Seinfeld practices….
yeah, sounds like it should be a song.
Girls in my house
(Sleepover!)
Girls in my house
(Pillow fight!)
Girls in my house
it’s a party tonight!
Girls in my house
(Sleepover!)
Girls in my house
(Pillow fight!)
Girls in my house
it’s a party tonight!
Giggity, giggity. Giggity Goo.
Live from Glen Quagmire’s house…goood night everybody!
Purdue grads everywhere wonder what you have against Boilermakers.
Bull. Once you’ve got lifting the glass – or bottle, for that matter – with your rotten, lifeless, wormeaten, stinking arm and hand (without the loss of fingers, mind you) to where your lips used to be, you can drink anything you want. I prefer Maker’s Mark, and it makes watching the dancing so much easier.
I just wish they’d play something else besides Macabre once in a while.
I
wouldn’tdon’t like boilermakers.Fixed that for ya’
If not boilmakers, how about sake bombs? It is entertaining to watch a group of increasingly drunk patrons down those and waiting to see which is the first to flub the chopstick bit.
One time I was at a party, well fueled on boilermakers, when a friend who didn’t know how to get to the party called and needed me to come and lead them in.
The party was in a neighborhood some three or four miles from downtown. The friends were in downtown. I drove in, met them, and led them back to the party.
If I’d been pulled over, the cop would have asked me for my pilot’s license. How I managed not to lead my friends through somebody’s garage I still don’t know. I’ve been a little more cautious about boilermakers since.
As for last night, I was watching rented DVDs of “Torchwood” with my wife. Not sure what having boilermakers would have contributed to the experience, but now I’m curious.
Damn you all.
In my experience, a few extra boilermakers means that when I throw stuff at the idiotic, incompetent “British super agents” in my TV, I miss. Not as badly as they miss with their weapons, but still.
That’s just the mostly dead. The dead hang out at the Grizzly Rose, and the really dead hang out at Briar Rose… in fact it may even be really dead.
I read “Shania” as “Sharia” at first, and was having a hard time reconciling that with the boilermakers.
Heh.
I was just told that if I don’t pollinate my zucchini, they’ll be dead.
I have to do it by hand.
This explains so much about zucchini…I can’t tell you.
So I’m going to draw little targets on them, and drink lots of gatorade tonight.
Excuse me but don’t the dead hang out at Cervantes and Quixote’s True Blue?