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Homophobia? [Dan Collins]

Yesterday, I posted a link to an article about scientific research indicating that men’s and lesbian’s brains are similarly asymmetrical, with a preponderance of development in the right hemisphere, whereas women’s and gay men’s brains are more symmetrical. I jovially suggested in the title that lesbians were “men with breasts.” After I’d retired for the evening, Dr. Caric appeared in the comments and stated that my post was homophobic.

What I’d like to know from Dr. Caric is by what feats of intellectual contortion he arrives at that verdict. It seems to me on its face, as McGehee responded last night, “incoherent”, and indeed when I posted it, I thought of including a joke along the lines of memomachine’s quip that, to the contrary, he considered himself a “bulldyke with a sprinkler.”

There are some interesting links from other commenters on the theorized spatial functions of some of this right-hemispheric hypertrophy, and I can state from experience that I’d rather receive driving directions from another straight man or a lesbian than from most women or gay men. In fact, if I’m driving about and am subject to some insult of stupidity or inattention on the road, I tend to get angry unless I determine that the driver is a woman, at which time I shrug my shoulders. So, I think in fact that I’m liable to prove a bit of a gendrist in this respect, as a result of my own empirical observations, rather than a homophobe, but, as always, YMMV.

But I do await the good doctor’s enlightenment.

68 Replies to “Homophobia? [Dan Collins]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    It’s structural homophobia I think. Like how there’s absolutely no way two guys can ride in a convertible together and not look gay. I noticed that today.

  2. Jeff G. says:

    This one is simple: Caric is an unreconstructed moron.

    No, really. I read it on the internet.

  3. Aldo says:

    No, really. I read it on the internet.

    ProggHero is that you?

  4. memomachine says:

    Hmmm.

    *shrug*

    1. We move into the “space” or niche that best fits us.

    2. We modify ourselves to best fit the niche we chose.

    Let me explain. I’ve always been something of a nerd and a bookworm. Not much else to do in a NH winter frankly. So most of my personal traits and personality fit the niche that is my profession: computer programming.

    A friend of mine from my high school years was a jock in that I-might-read-a-book-a-year schtick. Not that bad, but close. But since he began his career as a webmaster, about 10 or so years ago, he’s been transformed personalty-traits-wise into the classic nerd/geek.

    So I think, from this extremely limited data set, that we can chose a role or niche, but having chosen a role or niche we can be transformed to fit it.

    How this affects this particular discussion I don’t know. But perhaps this is an example of the process that results in a dominant lesbian i.e. “bulldyke”.

  5. ATNorth says:

    You guys are just heterophobic. Go watch some boy-on-girl pr0n.

  6. poppa india says:

    It’s simple. Only some people are allowed to comment on sexual differences (see Larry Summers). If you do comment and are not one of those people, you’re a homophobe. Now you’re enlightened.

  7. Ric Locke says:

    It’s not so much that Prof. Caricature is a moron as it is that he’s a robot.

    Dan said something Teh Professah didn’t automatically agree with. Since it had to do with sexuality, his response was “homophobe!” On any other subject it would have been “racist!” At that point his conceptual repertoire has been exhausted, so the response itself is a semantic null other than conveying his disagreement.

    Regards,
    Ric

  8. Sara says:

    I tend to get angry unless I determine that the driver is a woman, at which time I shrug my shoulders.

    Gee, I usually have the same reaction when I see it is a man in a hat.

  9. Ric Locke says:

    Sara, given current fashion that observation confirms Dan’s hypothesis.

    Regards,
    Ric

  10. Sara says:

    Okay, Ric, but I also have it to Beamer drivers. Oh wait, same thing.

  11. Dan Collins says:

    Oh, Magoo, you’ve done it again!

  12. Jeff G. says:

    At that point his conceptual repertoire has been exhausted, so the response itself is a semantic null other than conveying his disagreement.

    Hence, he’s a moron.

  13. McGehee says:

    Gee, I usually have the same reaction when I see it is a man in a hat.

    Cool, I’ve got a get-out-of-Sara’s-doghouse-free card!

  14. Dan Collins says:

    My brothers, Tim and Matt, flew down to Florida a couple of years ago to visit Mom and Dad, who are snowbirds, and spend time fishing with our brother-in-law, Bryant. Bryant’s a gearhead and a sort of a human rottweiler, and he picked up Tim in a Cabriolet convertible that he’d gotten cheap and fixed up. He was proud of his car.

    Tim said, yeah, it’s cool, Bryant, but isn’t it a little . . . gay? And Bryant asked, what do you mean? Tim said, well, this car is really popular (this is before lots of people had Cooper minis) with gay guys. Bryant said, you’re just blowing me shit, &ct, but as they were driving to Sarasota they passed a Cabriolet convertible with a couple of guys who seemed from their dress probably gay, and Tim pointed it out.

    The next day, they went to get Matt in the same car, and while they were driving back from the airport some young guys in a Jeep Wrangler pulled up beside them and asked them whether they had any hamsters. Tim hollered, it’s gerbils, you morons.

    Bryant sold the car shortly thereafter.

  15. ccoffer says:

    “Its not hamsters, asshole, its gerbils. Get your gay straight fer Sodom’s sake.”

  16. Darleen says:

    Somewhere Caric realizes he’s a fraud teaching a joke subject.

    He needs to lash out somewhere.

  17. Dan Collins says:

    I attribute it to a superfluity of sherry.

  18. Bozoer Rebbe says:

    Miatas are also sometimes associated with gay men (434,000 results for miata gay on Google). Tom Matano, who designed the Miata, acknowledges that the inspiration was the Lotus Elan. Now if I ever restore my Elan, some yahoo that can’t tell a Nissan from a Hyundai is gonna ask me about gerbils? Life isn’t fair.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotus_Elan
    In any case, the Miata is a great little sports car, the most successful sports car ever, selling over 800,000 at this point. I think that driving a street legal spec Miata racer would be a gas.
    http://www.specmiata.com/

  19. Dan Collins says:

    Stupid gerbil yahoo ignoramuses.

    I hope you restore your gay (NTTAWWT!) Elan.

  20. B Moe says:

    It’s structural homophobia I think. Like how there’s absolutely no way two guys can ride in a convertible together and not look gay. I noticed that today.

    Depends on the car. I have a ratty ass old 89 Chrysler LeBaron convertible that no gay man would be caught dead in.

    Trust me, I have tried. Just once, when I was really drunk.

  21. Dewclaw says:

    I’m sure the (nutty) perfessor is too busy responding to the TORRENT (either a 0 or 1 per post) of comments over at his blog.

    Is there anybody… OUT THERE… (out there.. out there… out there…)

  22. Challeron says:

    Bozoer Rebbe:

    Try a Honda S2000 (235hp, 6-spd, 0-60 ~ 6sec, top speed 145+mph, and 33mpg @ 75mph).

    I had a Miata (wrecked it in a snowstorm, damn those Bridgestone Tourettes-Syndromes); great car, fun to drive (6-spd, TorSen rear), hella stereo (Bose), Used to wear one of those tweed-driver’s -cap things (only way to shade eyes w/top down and keep on head at speed). Never knew that that made me gay.

    Think I’ll switch to a baseball cap….

  23. Sara says:

    My daughter’s first car was a Miata and if the number of straight guys she had hanging around because of that car as any judge, its reputation must have changed over time.

    She drove it forever and cried the day she traded it in for her “I have to haul kids in car seats” car.

  24. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    It’s pretty clear at this point that Caricature is simply pulling drive-bys in an attempt to get people to click through to his own blog.

    He has no interest in engaging anyone here in conversation (primarily because he’s had his ass handed to him every time he’s tried).

  25. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    Oh, and Happy Birthday, America!

  26. Challeron says:

    BTW Sara: I occasionally take the S2000 to local school car-wash fundraiser things; now, I may be an Old Fart, but I do find it amusing that nearly all of the Young Things go completely goggle-eyed over it (“This car is SO COOL!!”). I haven’t yet figured out if the Female Attraction to the car means I’m still ghey…

  27. Dan Collins says:

    Caric is an unreconstructed moron.

    Carpetbagger!

  28. Darleen says:

    I’ve only had two cars that I hated giving up

    a 1967 MGB GT… wire wheels, five speed

    1972 Mustang Mach I which I sold when my girls started getting their driver’s license.

    :::sigh:::

  29. I miss the Echo. it was the first car RTO and I bought. I still see it occasionally since my in-law-in-laws bought it. it was such a lovely green color and I liked the gauges in the middle of the dash thing.

  30. SevenEleventy says:

    Dan, teh perfesser is working through too many issues to actually read entire articles or links. After reading a couple of his blogs, I felt as though I needed therapy. Fortunately, I had a bowel movement(sans gerbil), and I felt much better. Happy Fourth of July!!! ✌

  31. Sara says:

    Chaleron, a hot car is a hot car, I don’t care who wants to drive it.

    When my son was in high school, I surprised him one day and picked him up after school, something I rarely did because I worked. But this day, I’d taken the afternoon off to pick up my brand new T-top Vette. I never saw so many drooling guys in one place in my life. I heard the next day that I had been promoted to head the “Coolest Mom of the School” list.

    Darleen, I dated a guy in college who drove the same MG. I guess it is okay to admit now that going out with him was all about the car.

    Sara loves her some fast hot car!

  32. alppuccino says:

    Dear Dr. Helen,

    I never thought something like this could happen to me and I sure never expected to be writing a letter about this. But after 22 years of suppressing my feelings, I feel like I can deal with them as an adult.

    I was delivering a load of tater tots to a school in my new Porsche when a lady in a T-top Vette got into my car without even asking! I, of course, had an erection – it’s never been a problem for me, but that sure doesn’t mean that any lady who likes fast, hot cars can just get into my ride and try to ride me, does it? I mean sure, I wasn’t wearing pants, but it was summer and I was fresh out of fabric softener, and what would you do in that situation, need I ask? Sans pants it is.

    When she mounted me, I fought like a cornered weasel, but too much struggling might have upset the 2 boxes of golden brown tater tots and I had spent the previous night stacking them.

    I think it was rape. Your thoughts?

  33. Silver Whistle says:

    Happy,

    Any gay convertible can instantly be transformed into a heteromobile – just put the top up. Unless it’s got a pastel paint job. Then you’re screwed. So to speak.

  34. Dan Collins says:

    Manual transmission, vaginal, or oral?

  35. SmokeVanThorn says:

    I think we all know the real reason that Caric is sensitive about any mention of “men with breasts.”

  36. Silver Whistle says:

    Automatically

  37. N. O'Brain says:

    Moobs is a funny word.

    Right, perfesser?

  38. JD says:

    I have had 2 cars that I had to give up that I miss greatly – 69 Camaro Super Sport convertible, orange with black rally stripes, and a full sized Ford Bronco that me an my friends turned into a home made convertible with a sawzall.

  39. BJTexs says:

    My missed car: 1964 Austin-Healey 3000 Mark III, four speed manual with electric overdrive (that worked both in 3rd and 4th gear) with both a detachable hardtop as well as the convertable. The six cylinder dual SU Carb engine had one of the most satisfying “growls” of any engine i’ve ever heard.

    White, cuz I’m a racist like JD.

    Vanity Plate: NOTAMG

  40. Rusty says:

    Try a Honda S2000 (235hp, 6-spd, 0-60 ~ 6sec, top speed 145+mph, and 33mpg @ 75mph).

    My oldest daughter drives one.It’s a standard transmission. I barely fit in it, but I blew the doors off a couple of hopped Civics on the PCH when I was out in california. The old man still has his street racing chops.

  41. Silver Whistle says:

    I knew a guy in college who had an Austin-Healy 3000. He painted it the same color/shade as his girlfriend’s sugartits. I liked his work so much I had him paint my Yam 250 racebike. No moobs there.

  42. Spies, Brigands, and Pirates says:

    His girlfriend’s sugartits were British Racing Green?

    You mean like that chick on Star Trek?

  43. Silver Whistle says:

    Ohno, SBP, they were a very fetching pair of lightly tanned, TWP’s sugartits. Forgive me. I have gone too far. Please denounce me.

  44. Darleen says:

    BJTexs

    ooooo…Austin-Healy. My 79 y/o dad’s dream car. Something he always talked about but never quite got around to getting.

    Closest Brit car we had when I was a kid was a Morris-Minor 1000. Softtop. And every once in a while dad would have to spend a Saturday tightening all the bolts so it didn’t rattle.

    Sara

    when I was in high school there was a pair of really hot guys, the Early twins, who were even hotter by driving to school in a convertible, British green MGB roadster.

  45. Jeff G. says:

    When I get my Cooper Mini, the gay thing will be a thing of the past. Especially after I install the gun turret.

  46. I drive a volvo. wagon. used. Shows my commitment to a new kind of politics, and a depth of intellegence and undersdtanding not usually found outside of a whole foods parking lot. Or maybe the local indy record store… But I’ve seen a pickup parked there and I’m not really sure if it’s ironic or not, there’s no rust or confederate flag stickers on it.

    I kid, it’s a 2001 V70 T5R with an ECU upgrade I got from EVOLVE, makes 335 HP at the front wheels and Craaazy tourque steer and I go through front tires like some people go through paper towels. Still handles like a hippo, but it’s a nasty surprise for the ricers around here at the redlights. I can get all four kids and the wife in it and it still gets 27 on the highway. Bought it used, without the chip and it cost about half of what they wanted for a 5 series, same year. Fast as balls.

  47. Challeron says:

    I had a Triumph Shitfire back in the day, and while it was tremendous fun for a ~50hp 1500cc (yeah, BJT, 4-sp w/elec o.d.), the Lucas ignition — with its annoying tendency to quit at high speed — discouraged me from ever owning another British car (in joke: “Why do the English drink warm beer? Because they have Lucas refrigerators!”)

    Hmm; I wonder if I was Ghey even back then: The electric o.d. was made by Laycock….

  48. McGehee says:

    Especially after I install the gun turret.

    I dunno, Jeff — those Mini guns may have a high rate of fire, but a real man doesn’t…

    At least, that’s what I always told my girlfriends.

  49. Challeron says:

    I wonder if the Perfesser drives a Karmann Ghey Ghia….

  50. Silver Whistle says:

    Since you’re all such British rustophiles, anyone want a ’69 Series IIA Land Rover? Can be turned into a convertible in 10 minutes. Going free. You collect.

  51. Rusty says:

    Darleen.All British sportscars of that era were never really finished. The british seem to have this national addiction for tinkering with things. Lucas, Layland and others were just accomodating their customer base. I’m convinced that the carburators on the TR4A were never really designed to stay in sync.
    Yeah. I’m an old gearhead. Gotta problem with that?

  52. Aldo says:

    I knew a guy called Shrek, due to his uncanny resemblance to the star of the animated movie. Shrek had once worked as helper or junior mechanic at a shop that repaired Ferraris. He told me that when he would take the cars out to test-drive them women would flash their boobs for him and toss him their phone numbers.

  53. JD says:

    Silver Whistle – Is that the safari-style model, kind of like a really old Defender? If so, I want it.

  54. JD says:

    My next door neighbor growing up had a Triumph TR-5 and a TR-7. Both were held together with an amazing combination of bubble gum, string, rubber bands, and wire hangers.

  55. Darleen says:

    #49 Charleton

    I’m sure Prof would never drive anything German.

    I betcha if he hasn’t got one yet, he is drooling over a Smart.

  56. Silver Whistle says:

    JD,

    This is the one (WP keeps eating my post, so try the tinyurl):

    http://tinyurl.com/5of7xf

    Just get yourself to 56.541 n 5.441w.

    Get yourself

  57. TheGeezer says:

    I’d rather receive driving directions from another straight man or a lesbian

    What if it’s an effeminate straight man or a feminine lesbian? I took directions from an effeminate straight man once and instead of ending at the state park, I was caught up in a Grateful Dead traffic jam.

  58. B Moe says:

    Just get yourself to 56.541 n 5.441w.

    Is it sound enough to float, then?

  59. Silver Whistle says:

    Hmm, wonder what happened there. Should have been 56.4515°n 5.44117°w. With the grace of God, and the aid of a strong wind, you could have made it to shore.

  60. McGehee says:

    SW, Google Earth has a low-res image of that location. What’s there?

  61. Silver Whistle says:

    McGehee,

    I live nearby. I guess we don’t deserve hi-res in these parts, otherwise, I could show you the Land Rover. Seriously, it’s free to a good home.

  62. Challeron says:

    Darleen, if he is drooling over a Smart, should we tell him that it’s made in Germany?

    Or, should we just call his car a Dumm?…

  63. Silver Whistle says:

    SBP,

    That was funny. Have a great 4th, everyone. I’m off to bed.

  64. McGehee says:

    Oh, well satellite imagery doesn’t really show off a vehicle at its best anyway. You’d need for the Street View guys to come around for that.

  65. […] PROTEIN WISDOM– “Homophobia?” …. […]

  66. I’m just grateful that you posted this article and have allowed people to talk about this “gay” issue and be able to comment freely on it, that is what America is all about, the freedom of speech! Please keep people communicating with each other, it can only help!
    Respectively,
    Betsy Buchanan

  67. My dream car is the Porsche 911 or the new Nissan GTR. those cars are really great.’~-

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