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More Ridiculous Facebook Stuff [Dan Collins]

In my email, a message from the application, “Circle of Trust”:

Dan, these are the people you don’t know but can trust, because of your trusted friends’ trust in them.

That’s about the dumbest thing I ever heard. These people are in my Circle of Trust because they believe they can trust ME, fercryinoutloud.

29 Replies to “More Ridiculous Facebook Stuff [Dan Collins]”

  1. happyfeet says:

    Facebook reminds me more and more of those tamagotchi thingers. Just the incessant care and feeding and all.

  2. Dan Collins says:

    Yeah. But then again, every once in a while it performs a useful service for me.

  3. Dan Collins says:

    Also, it was fun “buying” Gleenses.

  4. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Do they ask you to close your eyes and just fall backwards?

  5. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Let us know if it ever says, “Dan, these are the people you don’t know but can trust to help you bury the hooker in your trunk.”

    “Circle of Trust” sounds like a Circle of Jerk.

  6. Dan Collins says:

    See? You can’t trust anybody.

  7. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “See? You can’t trust anybody.”

    I’m just saying. “Circle of Trust” sounds like something teenage girls form at a slumber party to get the new girl, Sally, to admit she blew Tommy & Billy under the bleechers after the game. Then Monday at school, the “Circle of Trust” tells EVERYBODY.

    I’ve never used Facebook, but typical guy trust tends to revolve more around a, “you tell anybody about this and I tell your wife about the stripper in Vegas” kind of arrangement.

  8. Dan Collins says:

    Yeah, but now I have to bury the whole car. Thanks.

  9. Ouroboros says:

    Dan, six of my fourteen facebook alteregos are on your trust list.. and you can trust them all with whatever dirt or old girlfriend stories you want to spill..

    et tu, Lamont.. hating on the Circle Jerks.. Is nothing sacred? What next? hatin on Black Flag or Fear or.. gasp.. X ???

  10. docweasel says:

    Good rule for life: never trust anyone.

  11. Ouroboros says:

    Dan, I know youre checking your list now so here’s a hint.. Three of me are guys.. two are chicks.. and one is an inanimate object.. (Still cant spot me ? Just say the word and I’ll list off the races, ethnicities and ages..)

  12. Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) says:

    – Dan, I don’t think you’re exactly catching the spirit of this whole trust thing.

    – What they’re saying is they trust you because they see you’re trusting them to keep your trust.

    – And if someone happens to go awol from this big fluffy bunny furry wurry ball of trustiness… Well then you know…..Shit happens. In that case the untrustworthy shall be thoroughly denounced and shunned, and if need be they’ll even assist you in finding a good divorce lawyer, because after all, what are back stabbing trusting friends for.

  13. Roy Mustang says:

    Don’t believe in yourself. Believe in me, who believes in you.

  14. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Trust Ouroboros… I still have Butthole Surfers & Husker Du on my Ipod.

  15. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Dog Town bitches!

  16. CArin -BONC says:

    HUSKER DUE- Yea. I love Bob Mould – Hoover Damn rocks. ! Of course, Ouroboros turned me into a huge Radiohead fan a few years ago. It’s either Tool or Radiohead I’m listening to at any random moment. Except this moment, I’m listening to Jet.

  17. McGehee says:

    Friends help you move, Facebook friends help you move bodies?

    That just doesn’t sound right to me.

  18. SarahW says:

    get the new girl, Sally, to admit

    Fortunately their cunning plan failed.

  19. Aldo says:

    et tu, Lamont.. hating on the Circle Jerks.. Is nothing sacred? What next? hatin on Black Flag or Fear or.. gasp.. X ???

    Those were the days. I saw X live several times. Don’t forget Social Distortion too.

  20. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Comment by McGehee on 7/2 @ 9:31 pm #

    Friends help you move, Facebook friends help you move bodies?

    That just doesn’t sound right to me.

    Works for Skull & Bones.

    I kid. I kid because I lo…really, really wanna know what the hell they do in there.

  21. McGehee says:

    I can understand why it would work for Skull & Bones. Once you’ve survived the initiation rites and recovered your ability to string together complete sentences, trust is pretty well hard-wired. Proper placement of the electrodes is key.

    Facebook doesn’t have anything like that.

  22. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    “Those were the days. I saw X live several times. Don’t forget Social Distortion too.”

    Hell, as a teenager I got dragged to Depeche Mode in concert three times…then bought all their tapes (yeah tapes).

    What? Go ahead and call me out. You follow the cute bouncig boobs…the girls knew all the lyrics…and the lyrics made ’em get naked.

  23. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    McGehee: According to Robert De Niro they also pee on you at some point. As this thread is about trust, I don’t necessarily “trust” De Niro, but I always looked at President Bush different after I saw Good Sheappard.

    Just sayin.

  24. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    You can all trust me to spell “Sheppard” correctly in the future.

  25. Aldo says:

    I don’t know Lamont. I like getting laid as much the next guy, but there has to be an easier way than sitting through three Depeche Mode concerts.

  26. Aldo says:

    I mean, a guy’s got to draw a line somewhere.

  27. According to Robert De Niro they also pee on you at some point.

    That’s just marking territory.

  28. Lamontyoubigdummy says:

    Aldo, you have to think like Sun Tzu…or at least Ford Fairlane.

    Lookit, it’s 1990. Me and three of my buddies are at the Depeche Mode concert at Six Flags Dallas (Arlington) with 2,000 of the hottest chicks in North Texas. Orchestral Maneuvers In The Dark is opening up so it’s ENTIRELY possible we’re the only dudes in attendance who aren’t gay.

    It doesn’t get any fucking easier brother. Trust.

  29. lee says:

    Here’s a story that shows misplaced trust.

    It has a happy ending though.

    Favorite part:

    Then she saw their Che Guevara shirts and assumed they were rebels.

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