From the 2006 Gridiron Dinner, sung by Barack Obama to the tune of “If I Only Had A Brain”:
I’m aspiring to greatness, but somehow I feel weightless
A freshman’s sad refrain
I could be a great uniter, making ethics rules much tighter
If I only had McCainI could bring us all together, no storm we couldn’t weather,
We’d feel each other’s pain
Red and blue wouldn’t matter, party differences would shatter
If I only had McCainOh why is it so hard, for honest men of good will to agree,
If we ever found a way to strike a deal, would we survive… politically?When a wide-eyed young idealist, confronts a seasoned realist
There’s bound to be some strain
With the game barely started, I’d be feeling less downhearted
If I only had McCainStill I hope for the better, though I may rewrite my letter
Cause I gotta have McCain
Obama concluded by thanking the media:
And most of all, I want to thank you for all the generous advance coverage you’ve given me in anticipation of a successful career. When I actually do something, we’ll let you know.
Thanks for having me!
And don’t forget to tip your waitresses!
From the comments at the second link:
♫ ♪ ♫
I’m a model you know what I mean
And I do my little turn in the aisle
Yeah on the aisle on the airplane yeah
I shake my little tushie for your camera
I’m too sexy for my country too sexy for my country
Poor U.S. of KKK-A
I’m too sexy for your White House
Too sexy for your news show
You’re going to love me
And I’m too sexy for this blog!
♫ ♪ ♫
RushBaby on May 8, 2008 at 3:33 PM
What is wrong with you people? Can’t you see that his threat to have unconditional talks with any enemy of America, at any time, has practically driven Al Qaida out of Iraq?
Sure, you can credit the Surge. But we all know it was the threat of having to listen to that self-worshipping gasbag spout banal solipsisms for hours at a time that drove AQ to self-destruct. Honestly, which would you prefer – standing at parade rest for 4 hours (clearly torture in violation of the Geneva Conventions, or the First Cav Division standing in a July 4th “Divisional Review” ceremony) or 5 hours of being lectured about how the oceans will now stop rising, babies will stop crying, etc? As Baracky says, The Choice, She is Clear… Hands down I’d rather take the physical torture. Some acts of the state are so awful that a civilized society should not perpetrate them on its citizens. And what feckless dictator has the stones to sit there and listen to Obama carry on for hours at a time? It’s like a Castro speech, but filled with even sillier notions of economics moral preening.
So all hail Obama! We are the clueless and loquacious narcissists we’ve all been waiting for! Heartily voice approval and cheering of Great Leader’s five year plan! Power to the people we’ve been waiting to empower!
And most of all, I want to thank you for all the generous advance coverage you’ve given me in anticipation of a successful career. When I actually do something, we’ll let you know.
Still waiting …
Who is this Ed Brill guy?
well….his AIPAK speech is pretty damn brilliant.
hes promising to get the three soilders back.
all the Israelis and jews i know have that right at the top of their list.
Re; the rumor of a damaging Michelle Obama tape being released soon: what does everyone think? Is it out there? I tremble at the “hope” of it being true.
♫ ♪ ♫
I’m Only Happy with McCain
Im only happy when I’m hesitatin’
And though I know you cant appreciate it
I’m only happy with McCain
You know I love it when the nose is pinched
And why it feels so good to feel so wrenched
I’m only happy with McCain
Turn that lever in misery, Turn, that lever in Misery
Punch that stylus down, Punch, that ticket and frown for me
I’m only Happy with McCain . . .
♫ ♪ ♫
and since he’s willin to talk to hamas an hizb’, maybe he CAN get them back.
Sure,nishi. He’ll just send Carter over there to negotiate with them.
hes promising to get the three soilders back.
all the Israelis and jews i know have that right at the top of their list.
You really are a tool.
Ignore me. I’m in a bad mood.
well…id rather be waterboarded than listen to mccain talk.
Mary A. if hil had shit we’d have seen it by now.
heres the problem….mccain sounds like mr. rogers lecturing preschoolers and looks like the undead.
O sounds like JFK crossed with MLK and looks like a rock star.
whose message is going to get out d’you think?
omg, the creepy blinking and smirking, and the awful singsongy delivery, and the repitition!
and mccain had 2 months to come up with that? ur doomed, doomed as doomed can be.
haha, O’s gonna avoid carter like the plague he is an you know it Dan.
don’t be so jealous.
you got the candiate you deserved.
That is so juvenile. But, if McCain were addressing you, Nishi, a Mr. Roger’s approach may be what is called for.
Would that rock star be John Lennon?
hmmm…i think….a mixed heritage version of jared leto, actually.
hahahaha
the nishit is running with Meme # 8 again today.
I’ll bet that 71 year old undead Mr. Rogersesque McCain could still kick the shit out of your pansy ass, nishit!
haha, nice!
zombie mccain beatin up a young grrl!
braaaaaiiins….braaaaaaiiinnnns
lulz
Imagine no Hezbollah
It’s easy if you try
The only thing thats needed
Is for all the Jews to die
Sing it with me people!
Rock star.
That doesn’t exactly flatter your intellect, Nishi.
Deranged tweenerdom is no way to go through life.
You aren’t a young girl, nishi. You are a full-grown woman.
I think the election is likely Obama’s to lose. One way to ensure that loss would be to piss off the old people. I see nishi is doing her part.
Physically, mentally, emotionally? I’m thinking adult, child, toddler, respectively.
Reaching a particular age does not automatically turn someone into a grown-up.
You are a full-grown woman.
You sure about that ? There is no evidence that she has grown up.
Edu Guy – You know he is going to go into standard Dem mode of telling the old people that the evil Rethuglikkkans will take their Social Security checks. It is as predictable as the nishit trotting out her meme du jour.
heres the problem….mccain sounds like mr. rogers lecturing preschoolers and looks like the undead.
O sounds like JFK crossed with MLK and looks like a rock star.
whose message is going to get out d’you think?
Well that is obvious to someone as brilliant as you, nishfong. But all of the two digits I work with are used to doing menial labor, and understand the importance of having a boss that knows what the hell is going on. They look at Obama and see the College Boy idiot who continually fucks everything up trying to reinvent the wheel- CHANGE! They look at McCain and see the old dog who may be a little crotchety, but is going to keep shit running smooth enough they don’t have to work much overtime.
I didn’t call her a grown-up. She is full-grown, I’m certain. She deludes herself that she is a young lady, or a young girl.
ED:
::verklemptness::
That was . . . one of the most moving performances I’ve ever heard. You’re destined for super stardom!!
Really? How’s he gonna do that? Unicorn charge?
Really? Oh, look. nishi got it wrong. Shocka!
And, not to nitpick, but O! doesn’t look like a rock star. Rock Star. Smoking Hot Rock Star.
Obama? Not so much.
I think we need to run that mental age thingy she’s so excited about on her.
Of course, I would vote for neither of ’em as president.
My 6 year old has a higher mental age than the nishit.
That explains the poor grammar, and the OMG!Yahoo-like banter.
Carin,
Even vs. O! or HRC?
;-)
O! ain’t no rock star. He’s nowhere near ugly enough to be in Aerosmith.
hey, did you guys see BHO speech at AIPAC ?
Perhaps Josh Homme … he’s such a stoner dude, he’d probably leave the country alone for the most part, and we’d be better off. LOL.
I think Maynard may be a bit liberal … so if it were Maynard v Hill or O! I’d have to sit out.
But I still love him with a passion that is unnatural.
hey, did you guys see BHO speech at AIPAC ?
Is that the one where he claimed that he would get the 3 Israeli soldiers back? Or the one where he sprinted away from his prior positions about negotiating with terrorists?
“#
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 6/4 @ 8:24 am #
and since he’s willin to talk to hamas an hizb’, maybe he CAN get them back.”
You’re a fucking idiot.
A retarded marmoset.
A tool.
N.O’Brain – Why do you hate idiots, tools, and marmosets?
“Or the one where he sprinted away from his prior positions about negotiating with terrorists?”
When the Dhimms change their position it’s called, “EVOLVING”.
“#Comment by JD on 6/4 @ 9:09 am #
N.O’Brain – Why do you hate idiots, tools, and marmosets?”
Because I fear……Teh Other!!!!!
[cue scary music]
ARRRRGGGGGHHHH>>>>>>>>>>>
Plus nishidiot is a complete chuckleheaded fool.
Say, could nishi be a blond?
yah sash, twas awesome.
he said hed get the soldiers back.
no one else even mentioned them.
The Audacity of Pander.
I haven’t seen the speech, so did Obama happen to mention how he is going to get those soldiers back? Did he happen to mention anything about stopping the daily rocket attacks?
No, that’s nit-picky details that will be addressed later.
BTW, I’m going to extinguish the sun!
“You are a full-grown woman.”
She said she had no tits, so maybe not quite full grown. I keed, I keed. Intellectually, she’s an adult. But emotionally and socially a child. No doubt about it.
BTW, I’m going to extinguish the sun!
Well that’s one way to help stop global warming.
See, now, that’s just a distraction. We can’t make progress if we keep focusing on the negative. We need to have hope so we can bring about change.
Edu Guy – There was a mention of talking, unicorns, and Leprechauns. He was kind of short on the details.
Homme ’12: More Cowbell!
Now you’ve done it, Karl. I’m gonna spend the next 20 minutes trying to figure out which QOTSA song they should use for a theme.
“Suture up your Future” has that hopey change feel to it …
Of course “Make it wit chu” is so hawt, he’d wrap up the female vote. I mean, females that actually are attracted to real men. Not the girly-men you see everywhere now-a-days.
Feel-good Hit of the Summer
heh
mccain sounds like mr. rogers lecturing preschoolers and looks like the undead.
FOR THE HORDE!
…mccain sounds like mr. rogers lecturing preschoolers…
Considering how many years he spent in Congress I am not surprised.
BTW, Fred Rogers never lectured. Get your analogies straightened out, or….BOO!
Here’s a quote:
Teresa Heinz Kerry said of Rogers, “He never condescended, just invited us into his conversation. He spoke to us as the people we were, not as the people others wished we were.”
Quit defaming the good, matoko. They are not there as tools for your personal projects. It may be hard for a eugenicist to understand this, but other humans are not props for your personal drama, they are real and have their own lives, hopes, and dreams. The earlier you realize that, the earlier you become a human, not just a monster in human form, you little Stalin wanna-be.
Ha! Karl can write the lyrics too!