Two items from the April issue of Jane Magazine (which arrived quite mysteriously in our mailbox, given no one ’round these parts subscribes to it. But hell, grist for the blog mill, right?).

First: According to the facility’s manager, residents of the De Gamles Hus nursing home in Copenhagen are gathering in the communal television room on Saturday nights to watch — not “Murder, She Wrote” or “The Golden Girls” or even “Touched By An Angel” — but porn. Porn!(Are you listening, Kevin Holtsberry?)

In fact, a growing number of nursing homes in Denmark are even allowing prostitutes to service their charges!

Dr. Marryn Gott of the University of Sheffield in northern England is doing a study on sex over age 50 and found that regular action kept older men and women in better mental shape. ‘Self-esteem is better among older people who have sex,’ she explains excitedly. Merryn also discovered that older women remain more interested in sex later in life than men do.

Alas, many nursing homes here in Colorado won’t let Granny and Gramps sleep together at all.

Second: “Strippers at the Mille Lire in Preganziol, Italy, are sporting magnetic underwear to make it easier for patrons to show their appreciation using the new euro coins.”

[add “put your money where your mouth is” quip here]