Having spent part of my morning watching MSNBC in the breakfast room at a Residence Inn in Salisbury — a 20-minute session that, as a complement to scrambled eggs and turkey sausage, included interviews with Tim Russert, Robert Wexler (D-FL), Dan Rather, and a lot of proto-hagiographizing of Scott McClellan (at one time rumored by lefty activists to be a closet homosexual and self-hating gay man living a fetid lie, most likely BECAUSE OF THE HYPOCRISY) — I have come to the conclusion that, all things considered, I’d rather be eating fried dough and watching for mullets and Lynyrd Skynyrd chain wallets without my shirt on.
So, if anybody needs me, try one of the benches near Talbot street, or maybe the bar at the Purple Moose Saloon, where I’ll be sidling up and showing off my new airbrush tattoo of Barack Obama in a leopard-skin thong slaying a dragon named “imperialism and national ennui”. With a withering stare.
— And, you know, some erudite diplomacy and a fistful of documents with impressive-looking letterhead.
O!
See, I knew all that ugly head rearing would come in handy.
We’re going down, down, down, if that’s the only way
2 make this cruel, cruel world hear what we’ve got to say
Put the right letters together and make a better day
How low
Can we go?
Watching for mullets is always a good time. Business in front. Party in the back !!! Just be careful around the Camaro-mullets. They are an aggressive lot.
In Morrow County, Ohio, it’s more challenging to look for “not-mullet”.
Customer: “Can I get my combo Biggy-sized, but not the drink? I only want a medium diet-Coke.”
McClellan: “I don’t know. The manager keeps me out of the loop on that information. I’m flying blind here. Now please pull around to the second window”
My friends and I would never have dated Scott in college.
He is the archetype of a “Pud”.
ick.
However, we would have fought over O!
he’s dishy in the extreme.
;)
My friends and I would have called him Urkel, and needled him about his ears.
Out of love — and, of course, equality.
In turn, he would have called us Whitey and “AIDS Unleashers.” And we all would have done shots together, and laughed and laughed!
But enough! Off to the beach. Where I’ll put on my O! face for the ladies.
well, Jeff, geek is the new cool, yah know.
the Urkel thing works for my demographic.
its hawt.
;)
rememer to apply SPF 15 at least.
dont want you gettin a melanoma.
;)
for my demographic.
What demographic is that? Genodicial eugenecists that think female genital mutilation is alright because it is just a little skin?
But enough! Off to the beach. Where I’ll put on my O! face for the ladies.
Go easy on the sunscreen. Authenticity is a dish best served blackened.
melanoma: it’s black and malignant
Like Mrs. Obama
nah, JD my demographic are Free Market Eugenicists.
like Jodie Foster and Angelina Jolie and Jen Aniston.
and we do think removing the prepuce is exactly the same as removing the foreskin in circumsion….
because we are, like, educated an all that shit.
;)
Jodie Foster
And anyone that disagrees with the nishit is a godbothering anti-science rube.
He’s back! He’s back! :-)
“Educated” is synonymous with neither “intelligent” nor “knowledgeable”.
Send pictures!
Rob C – Educated means having the ability to type 6-8 memes, in perpetuity, and to willfully ignore all information that runs counter to those memes.
Why is it taking the gay community so long to distance themselves from McClellan. Do they sleep in on Monday’s?
Aw hell. Jodie Foster did the turkey baster baby bit because she’s a lesbian.
Tony Snow, I got…sharp, eloquent, willing to parry with port-side mouth-breathers. McClellan, I never quite understood.
my demographic are Free Market Eugenicists.
like Jodie Foster and Angelina Jolie and Jen Aniston.
I would have guessed Tatum O’Neal.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/article4049265.ece
Jeff G – Hope your vacation is great. nishit – You should consider a vacation.
We didn’t say he was gay. We said he was a cocksucker.
He reformed.
The Audacity of Hick.
McClelland always looked like a shaved Ewok to me, but gay, I don’t know.
We said he was a cocksucker.
That seems to be something everyone can agree on.
Free Market Eugenicists
Women who sell their designer babies?
Scotty Doesn’t Know
Wait….you are going to be at a bar called the Purple Moose in a leopardskin thong?
Wow. Um….pictures please, sugarbuns?
Free Market Eugenicists
Genocidaires for hire?
We are still waiting on the links to sugartits, Lisa.
nah, salt lick.
Free Market Eugenics is optimizing your offspring with best gametes you can get.
Women who make designer babies is more like it.
#
Comment by Dan Collins on 6/2 @ 7:13 am #
melanoma: it’s black and malignant
Like Mrs. Obama
Personal attack foul! That’s so not Dan Collins best moment.
aww, cmon JD, you never heard of Free Market Eugenics before me, admit it!
i gtg
#36: I have been trying to find pictures of the original sugartits (the lovely police officer that inspired a drunken Mel Gibson to coin that exquisite word – right before she read him his rights). I have no idea what she looked like, but she must have had a spectacular set of guns.
At least Dan Collins has “best moments”!
#38: Yeah. I am going to ignore that one. It was icky.
Comment by Left-Wing Gaybasher on 6/2 @ 7:46 am #
“We didn’t say he was gay. We said he was a cocksucker.
He reformed.”
Actually, to the average leftie, anyone much to the right of Fidel is a “cocksucker”. Only when you see the Power and the Glory of the All Seeing, All Knowing Obamassiah, and willingly Bow Down Before Him, do you lose the cocksucker moniker.
So even though McClellan was a dweeb, he still worked for the E-VIL McChimpyBushitler cabal, so therefore was a cocksucker de jure. What a shame…
M’chellanoma is completely preventable. Almost entirely.
nishit – Look inward, young lady. At this point, even Brad Pitt and Derek Jeter’s swimmers would not help you …
Jeff,
I don’t know how well you know OC,
but if you like good guacamole, you need to go to Tequila Mockingbird, up on 127th-ish.
It’s in a strip mall on the bay side, past the Gold Coast Mall.
You also need to get there early as they run out.
…in the space of four words.
And I would point out that it was the nishtoon who introduced the melanoma-bashing. What’s she got against black, malignant things?
I’mn sure she just wouldn’t want her gametes to marry one…
But she counts at least one among her best friends…
vessicles
Melanoma-ists
/spit
melanoma: it’s black and malignant
Like….
Someone has been talking to my ex.
Bastard.
It’s a little known fact that in 1977 a young wanna-be rocker named Barack Hussein Obama briefly considered trying out for the recently vacated singer slot in Lynard Skynard, after the untimely death of Ronnie Van Zant. Obama, it is recalled, is said to have been one hell of a singer in the rockin’ redneck fashion and was also “totally into doing mounds of coke with hot groupies”.
How rock and roll history would have been affected we will sadly never know.
Lisa, I ain’t touching that…. because black is beautiful!
Lisa – Is your ex a blind a-hole that is dummerer than the nishit?
hehe, we are all secretly in the tank for O!
except for feets, Karl, and Jeff.
;)
Yes, if by “in the tank” you mean would not ever vote for him.
New McCain campaign slogan, courting the black vote:
Black is beautiful, except when its a melanoma.
Early onset raises its ugly head again. Get help, nishit.
it’s black and malignant
Like….
Story headline last year — “Ike Turner Beats Tina to Death.”
We are still waiting on the links to sugartits, Lisa.
Yes, we demand sugartits.
Otherwise the terrorists have won.
OK Jeff, in order to do this properly, we MUST see you there.
Here is a webcam that is outside the Ocean Gallery, at 2nd St.
http://www.oceangallery.com/cam-big.asp
Give us a time we can see you there, then, well, use your imagination.
Can’t wait!
“#Comment by nishizonoshinji on 6/2 @ 8:41 am #”
100,000,000 sperm and your’s won?
TANJ.
#55: You’re a great American.
#61: LMAO!!! Titties for Freedom!
Not just tits, Lisa. Sugartits.
#62: And make sure to wear that purple leopardskin thong with the tatoo of Barack Obama on your ass. You promised!!
Leopardskin thongs and banana hammocks are just all sorts of of wrong. Damn you all to hell for making me even envision them.
Leopardskin thongs and banana hammocks are just all sorts of of wrong. Damn you all to hell for making me even envision them.
The hell with just envisioning them, they could be LIVE, IN COLOR coming to you via webcam from Ocean City.
This could be a brand new direction for PW.
They have a hair metal band playing in Ocean City?
with the tatoo of Barack Obama on your ass
Only a little dilute Shinola and, viola!
[A thousand pardons, Masters.]
Are you on vacation in Salisbury MD? The epicenter of the Perdue empire. Back in the day you could catch Frank roasting on the beach in OC with his latest love interest. Good times.
Purple Moose still there I guess places like that never die.
The more you drink at the Purple Moose, the more this gets to be your idea of sugartits.
BECAUSE OF THE GAMETES!
“How low
Can we go”
“Jaques Cousteau?”
There. Fixed that for you, Dan.
Banana hammocks?!?!? ZOMG!!
That, my friend, is hysterical. In all of my years of discussing and euphamizing Teh Cock or its accoutrements, I have never heard that one.
Giggles and sniggles.
#72: LMAO!!
I can imagine that they would very closely resemble Brad and Angelina after several beers and a little of Teh Black Label drinkie.
Lisa: From the Wiki article on “Speedo”:
“According to fashion experts whether or not the style is fashionable is often a product of culture and geography. A recent store sales estimate indicated that speedos were the preferred swimsuit for men in Australia (where they are often referred to as “budgie smugglers” or “banana hammocks” or the Grape Cape)
Personally, I had never heard the term “budgie smuggler”. It makes me a bit squirmy, if you know what I mean. Grape Cape is pretty funny, though.
#77: Grape Cape is delightful. But I truly, truly love budgie smuggler. WTF. I would like to meet the man who came up with that one and shake his hand. Well…unless he has been stroking his pet budgie.
Lisa, here’s where I became familiar with the term. ;D
#79: Thanks, Maggie! I thought of that right away but I couldn’t find it. All right, I didn’t really look for it. But I thought about it!
“nah, salt lick.
Free Market Eugenics is optimizing your offspring with best gametes you can get.
Women who make designer babies is more like it.”
As in The Third Reich?
And what good do you think the “best gametes” are going to do for YOUR imagined Nazi child?
It takes two sets of “best gametes” to make a “better” baby. But it is good to know that the Socialist Republic of Hitler’s “Mein Kampf” fantasy are still alive and well in your fertile little progg mind.
One of her links uses Melissa Etheridge/Julie Cypher as an example. If David Crosby is their idea of the master race I don’t think we have anything to worry about just yet.
B Moe
Yeah. I agree. It’s gonna take a while for that liver thing to evolve.
I wrote a song about David once. It was called “Swollen Liver”…
“…Keep on swelling, liver…”
Dont forget the scent of patchouli.. Your cred depends on the details.
You mean Mrs. Matthew Hale, right?
Matt Hale, WTF? Gleen!
Of course, the next thing to do to ensure the success of the master race is to get rid of those lesser races, the untermenschen. The easiest is to just stop all aid, right?
Glad to see matoko is still in character.
Jeff,
If you run out of things to do they are holding the East Coast Hang Gliding Championships up in Ridgely.
Shit. We were down around second street all day and didn’t know about the web cam.
Going to head back for crabs, then take the little one down to the inlet for rides and the like. If I can find the web cam (I used to date a girl who worked at Ocean Gallery, incidentally: Hi, Donna!) I’ll try to be there at 9-9:05.
I’ll be the one…well, staring at the webcam and freaking out the locals.
I’ll be the one…well, staring at the webcam and freaking out the locals.
Just leave your clothes on.
This time.
BTW, I’m staying at the Belmont Towers, between Talbot and Dorchester, in July.
“Going to head back for crabs”…This phrase used to mean something completely different back in the younger days. Of course, we weren’t so much as going back for them, but at times they may have been an unfortunate byproduct of certain activities.
Anyhow, have fun, Jeff. On a completely selfish note, hurry back and get to posting!
#79: LMAO!! Excellent clip Maggie. It made me inhale a piece of chicken wing though.
#90: Ha!!
Michael_The_Rock: It makes me a bit squirmy, if you know what I mean.
Yeah, I used to have one of those critters… mean little bastard, with a razor-sharp beak. Not something I’d want to have anywhere near the Important Family Treasures.
TLD: It’s gonna take a while for that liver thing to evolve.
I think I’d hold out for the Keith Richards model liver, myself. It’d be like an old-school Midas Muffler — guaranteed for life. A normal person could hand that baby down to his grandkids.
Jeff G: Going to head back for crabs
And I’m betting that the woman in Michael_The_Rock’s sugartits picture would be a good place to find some.
the woman in Michael_The_Rock’s sugartits picture
From maximum affect of alcohol intoxication, the “sugartits” to which I was referring were his, not hers.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. ;-)
#93, 94: LMAO!!!
I missed the web cam thing. But I got to see the studio get burned up yesterday. It was really flamey and smoky. But the smoke blew into Burbank it looked like. I felt nothing.