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There. [Dan Collins]

That wasn’t so hard, was it?

David Thompson finishes a post on the absurd apology fallout from the Marcotte gaffe with this beautifully considered and constructed finale:

One of the surest ways to erode a person’s probity is to make them repeat in public, among their peers, things that are unrealistic and absurd; things they know, or suspect, to be untrue. The more incoherent and ridiculous the claim – or apology – and the greater the mismatch with reality, the larger the effect. Bad medicine.

61 Replies to “There. [Dan Collins]”

  1. thor says:

    Amada thinks she’s pulled a boner. Ha! The guiltless boner does not give refunds based on customer satisfaction. Women, you’d think they’d talk.

  2. Jeffersonian says:

    By putting the big blonde in the skimpy bathing suit with the big breasts, the tiny waist, and the weapon on our cover, we are also not asserting that she is any kind of standard that anyone should aspire to. This 1950s Marvel comic is not an accurate reflection of our beauty standards, our beliefs regarding one’s right to bear arms, nor our perspectives on race relations, foreign policy, or environmental policy.

    I chuckled when I read this excellent bit of satire. Then I read on and realized it was serious and I howled with laughter.

  3. McGehee says:

    As I’ve often said: There is no parody like self-parody.

  4. JD says:

    When you are that hyper-sensitive, how does one manage to make it through a day?

  5. McGehee says:

    When you are that hyper-sensitive, how does one manage to make it through a day?

    “Offended” becomes one’s new identity (the identity on behalf of which one becomes offended is secondary, and really pretty much interchangeable with any other), so that taking offense becomes the emotional equivalent of breathing.

    In short, it is what gets them through the day, since it alone is what gives their lives a substitute for meaning.

  6. Q30 says:

    Glad to see I wasn’t the only one who saw in this an eerie parallel with Maoist “struggle sessions” (or, as the occupied Tibetans would call it, “thamzing”) in which the class enemies are to stand before a crowd in dunce caps and apologize for having reactionary thoughts.

  7. thor says:

    I apologize for my thoughts. Can I take this stupid thing off my head now?

  8. Topsecretk9 says:

    Geez

    These progressive woman see all these things in these dang cartoons – racism, sexism, gun policy and environmental policy – at the same time these same liberals can NOT see the threat in Islamic Jihadism if it were wearing a neon sign. (a threat that actually embraces all of their pet grievances)

  9. Topsecretk9 says:

    I should say

    – (a *group* that actually embraces all of their pet grievances)

  10. Lisa says:

    Jill over at Feministe just decided to “spend more time with her law books” which is probably a good idea. She finally acknowledged that she looked like she was throwing her good friend under the bus after getting herself tangled up in that complicated web of outrage and uber-offendedness. They all (especially Holly, who is really annoying) need to take a break and stop worshipping at the altar of Our Lady of the Perpetually Offended.

    The thing that makes me laugh is that these privleged creatures are sitting around with their Viao’s on their laps arguing with each other about who is more sensitive to those less fortunate than they are (after posing and cross-posting some mighty snooty and dismissive thoughts about said unfortunates’ choice of reading materials and their disgusting, filthy preference for Dollar Menu hamburgers instead of wild mushroom tarts with gruyere.)

  11. JD says:

    Lisa – What is this gruyere of which you always speak?

  12. Pablo says:

    It’s close to swiss without holes, but more smoky. It works well melted over French onion soup. Yummy.

  13. Dan Collins says:

    I think they all need new, less ugly shoes.

  14. Jeff G. says:

    Well, at least Marcotte is savvy enough not to link here anymore. Although in this case, I only would have gotten on her for her apology. The comic book kitsch will only offend those looking to be offended, anyway — so Marcotte should have just waved it off. There was nothing wrong with that art work, used self-consciously.

    I’m not going to launch into a whole new spiel about allowing others to graft their signifieds onto your (chosen, in this case) signifiers, but suffice it to say that, when you allow that to happen, you are indeed setting yourself up for these kinds of public apologies, the intent of which is twofold: to humiliate the “offender,” and empower the offended.

    It is an identity politics power play. And if you’re not careful, you’ll get so frustrated trying to navigate that minefield that you’ll end up exasperated and drunk, such that you let Marlon Wayans and Method Man talk you into allowing them to cram a champagne bottle into your rectum.

    Potentially and hypothetically, of course.

  15. Dan Collins says:

    Does that empowerment come with one of those coupon disclaimers indicating that its actual cash value is one one-hundredth of a cent?

  16. JD says:

    Lisa and Pablo are clearly white affluent men, likely French. You can afford smoky swiss cheese with the holes filled in? Velveeta, baby. And that is for special events. Usually is it singles from the 5 lb box at Sam’s Club.

  17. Lisa says:

    Pablo, yes. It is really good on French onion soup. It is delicious. One of my favorites. One day I took a look at all of the people standing at the Whole Foods deli ordering Chabichou du Poitou, Gruyere, and Cambozola and thought “we are all douchebags”.

    Now, whenever I think of the Patronizing Liberal Concerned About World Hunger (but who doesn’t understand why a poor person would want to shop at WalMart and not spend $27.50 on a bit of cheese) Gruyere always comes to mind.

  18. Dan Collins says:

    That would make a good t-shirt, I think, Lisa.

  19. Rob Crawford says:

    One day I took a look at all of the people standing at the Whole Foods deli ordering Chabichou du Poitou, Gruyere, and Cambozola and thought “we are all douchebags”.

    I rarely do this, but:

    LOL!

  20. JD says:

    Lisa – The mere fact that you know what those cheeses are, and can spell them, speaks directly to your privileged elitist status. The powdered cheese in Easy Mac is a delicacy for this mouth-breather.

  21. Lisa says:

    It is an identity politics power play. And if you’re not careful, you’ll get so frustrated trying to navigate that minefield that you’ll end up exasperated and drunk, such that you let Marlon Wayans and Method Man talk you into allowing them to cram a champagne bottle into your rectum.

    LOL!!! That just made me want to gouge out my mind’s eye (with a broken bottle of Jack Daniels).

    True though. I have always been proud to call myself a feminist. I don’t think that will change. But hanging with that crowd is tough. It is very stressful to be in a constant state of outrage (and it is really bad for the complexion). Plus, it starts getting a little French Revolution-ish where the line to the guillotine gets insanely long and eventually everyone has lost their fucking head.

    As one commenter on Pandagon put it: “I hope you are enjoying the flavor as you eat one of your own. You might as well sprinkle a little salt on yourself because you will be next.”

  22. Dan Collins says:

    JD–You’re not supposed to inhale the stuff, man.

  23. JD says:

    Notice all of Lisa’s French references? She is clearly a gruyere eating surrender monkey. Not a monkey in the King Kong kind of way, but a surrender monkey is the French “oui quit” kind of way. Oh fuck it, you know what I meant. Racists.

    Dan – What in the hell do you do with it then? Us rubes need to be learned.

  24. Pablo says:

    The powdered cheese in Easy Mac is a delicacy for this mouth-breather.

    Oh, my. I am an elitist prick. I usually go with the squishy foil cheese pack stuff.

    Oh, and Whole Foods is apparently in the business off separating fools from their money. Stop & Shop. Gruyere. $12 a pound.

  25. Pablo says:

    As one commenter on Pandagon put it: “I hope you are enjoying the flavor as you eat one of your own. You might as well sprinkle a little salt on yourself because you will be next.”

    Live by the spear, die by the spear.

  26. Dan Collins says:

    Is it organic goat gruyere, Pableaux?

  27. Big Dan says:

    One of the first reality-type shows I recall, was cameras following some feministe-type coed around college. Always saw TEH PATR!ARCHY and racism etc under every single action by anyone. Finally one of her dorm-mates said, “If there WERE no sexism, what in the world would you care about?” The girl left the room sobbing.

    It made me so happy that I could have spit.

    I didn’t finish watching so I don’t know if she mended her ways or every really cared about anything else.

  28. Pablo says:

    I dunno about organic, but definitely not goat. Are you suggesting that they’re foisting the plebe cheese off on me? Because I might have to go over there with a baseball bat and redecorate the place.

  29. Cowboy says:

    When you are that hyper-sensitive, how does one manage to make it through a day?

    You never, ever leave the confines of the university.

  30. JD says:

    Whole Foods? Gowd, y’all are insufferable elitist pricks. Whole Foods? The closest thing we get to Whole Foods is when we get a whole stale donut from the day old section at Aldi’s. When we have a couple extra coins to spare, we get the frozen club sandwiches in the freezer at the local gas station. Processed American cheeze is da bomb.

  31. Big Dan says:

    You never, ever leave the confines of the university.

    As Lileks put it, some people seem to be too weak to leave the gravitational pull of the University, and so were doomed to circle it endlessly, living near it for most of their lives.

  32. JD says:

    Imagine having to sit next to the pandagonians for a screening of Porky’s, or American Pie. They would literally suck the life out of the room.

  33. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Comment by JD on 4/29 @ 10:06 am #

    Lisa and Pablo are clearly white affluent men, likely French. You can afford smoky swiss cheese with the holes filled in? Velveeta, baby. And that is for special events. Usually is it singles from the 5 lb box at Sam’s Club.

    Well I’ll just toss my masculine identity into the scrap heap and say … um … I have great recipe for making Mac & Cheese that includes a combination of extra sharp cheddar (Irish import, not VT., sorry, Dan) and gruyere cheeses.

    Let the mocking begin!

  34. Dan Collins says:

    Hey, BJ:
    Irish, Vermont. I can’t lose.

  35. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Oh, Yea! Good point, Dan! I can’t remember the name off the top of my head but our local super grocery just started selling an imported sharp chedder from Ireland that is ther best I’ve ever tasted.

  36. Megaera says:

    #5, 29: But isn’t their “hypersensitivity” really the question? And the answer is, they aren’t. Certainly Amanda and her editors, the very people you would expect to be the hyperest of the hyper, were absolutely insensitive when it actually counted, yes? So they rage along perceiving (read, manufacturing) all these life-warping insults provided by the Evil Other, while being utterly incapable of perceiving their own thunderingly obvious sins of commission. Mote, beam, etc.

  37. McGehee says:

    So they rage along perceiving (read, manufacturing) all these life-warping insults provided by the Evil Other, while being utterly incapable of perceiving their own thunderingly obvious sins of commission.

    Good point. It’s possible they adopt offendedness as the surest way to demonstrate (fraudulently) to their peers that they aren’t total sociopaths.

    I dunno. All I know about psychology I learned by deconstructing my own reactions to the things that happen around me, and comparing them to other people’s behavior. I’ve come to the conclusion the entire human race, myself included, is nuckenfutz in one way or another — and the best each of us can hope for is that our own particular brand of insanity isn’t destructive.

  38. McGehee says:

    Which is why I shun offendedness, whether genuine or affected.

  39. JD says:

    Live by the spear, die by the spear.

    RACISTS !!!!!!!!!!1eleventy!1

    BJ – That almost brings tears to my eyes, not only for the ease in which I can make fun of you, but for the whole gleenwaldian nature of you being in possession of said recipe. Your man card, it has officially been pulled.

  40. Carin- says:

    So they rage along perceiving (read, manufacturing) all these life-warping insults provided by the Evil Other, while being utterly incapable of perceiving their own thunderingly obvious sins of commission.

    IMHO, they usually rage along about things that are imaginary, unimportant, or distorted through their lense of victimization. I find the whole episode hilarious. Especially given how vicious Amanda usually is.

  41. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Oh, JD: If you only knew where I got the recipe you’d be calling the castration police.

    My only defense is that my wife works for Williams/Sonoma so that stuff just seeps into me.

    I CAN’T HELP IT!! *sob*

  42. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Let’s not forget that JD is attempting to pull my masculine bona fides, the same tough brute known as White Chocolate Latte guy.

    Feel the burn, pal!

  43. Lisa says:

    “Lisa and Pablo are clearly white affluent men, likely French. You can afford smoky swiss cheese with the holes filled in? Velveeta, baby. And that is for special events. Usually is it singles from the 5 lb box at Sam’s Club.”

    C’est extraordinairement drôle. Je ris dehors fort.

  44. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    Ha, JD: Lisa’s francaise trumps your bitter middle American clinginess.

    Now step away from the the guns and the Velveeta! :-)

  45. Pablo says:

    Let’s not forget that JD is attempting to pull my masculine bona fides, the same tough brute known as White Chocolate Latte guy.

    Oh, yeah! What’d ya pay for that, Nelson?

  46. JD says:

    Lisa – I am not sure what you just called me, but I fart in your general direction.

    BJ – You have been lying all this time. You are a chick. And it was a white chocolate mocha that was divine, not a latte, you schmuck.

    racists

  47. JD says:

    Pableaux – I paid nothing for it. I am an oppressor. I got Juan Valdez to ship me some beans, and a couple workers to grind them specifically to my tastes. The white chocolate (because I am a racist) was given to me by one of my sheet-wearin’ brethren.

  48. JD says:

    Pableaux – I am a TWP. We don’t pay for things like that. We oppress people.

  49. Dan Collins says:

    The bit about the Velveeta was really droll, JD, and you made her laugh until her derriere fell off.

  50. JD says:

    Fart I dans votre direction générale, Lisa ;-)

  51. BJTexs TW/BP says:

    BJ – You have been lying all this time. You are a chick. And it was a white chocolate mocha that was divine, not a latte, you schmuck.

    racists

    TRANSCENDANT IRONY ALERT!!!eleventy11!!!

    I’m cool with my inner chick!

  52. Lisa says:

    #47, 50: LOL!!! Le LOL!!!!

  53. Lisa says:

    Go and boil your bottom, you son of a silly-person! English pig-dog!

  54. JD says:

    I am no pig-dog, Lisa. I am a capitalist running dog. Get it straight.

  55. B Moe says:

    I tole him we already gotta one!

  56. Lisa says:

    #54, 55: Hee hee!

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