“A speedskater from Belarus has left the Winter Olympics after a drug test found a steroid level nearly 400 times the legal limit in the athlete’s body,” The AP reports.

“The athlete vanished from Olympic Village housing Monday after failing to show up for a second test.”

400 times the legal limit? 400? The IOC refuged to identify the athlete, but sources close to the investigation say he was last seen grazing in a local pasture before being “spooked” by a starter pistol, at which point he galloped off in the directions of the Rocky Mountains…

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