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Primitive Cypriots Push Dwarf Hippos Past Brink of Extinction [Dan Collins]

Cypriot and Greek scientists are studying a collapsed cave filled with the fossilized remains of extinct dwarf hippopotamuses—descendants of hippos believed to have reached the island a quarter-million years ago.Paleontologists have unearthed an estimated 80 dwarf hippos in recent digs at the site just outside the resort of Ayia Napa on the island’s southeastern coast. Hundreds more may lie beneath an exposed layer of jumbled fossils.Scientists hope the fossil haul, tentatively dated to 9,000-11,500 B.C., could offer clues to when humans first set foot on this Mediterranean island.

Bastards! Fortunately, Pygmy Hippos endure.   (Is that racist?)

18 Replies to “Primitive Cypriots Push Dwarf Hippos Past Brink of Extinction [Dan Collins]”

  1. skegatz says:

    only if you call them midget hippos.

  2. McGehee says:

    They prefer the term, “little-people hippopotamuses.”

    (Which reminds me of a story I got second- or third-hand, about a newscaster giving information about a car being sought in connection with some crime. Giving the tag number, it went something like this: “B as in Baker, I as in Native American…”)

  3. B Moe says:

    Those pygmy hippoes are kind of cute, would probably make a cool pet.

    “It marks the trails by spreading feces by vigorously waving its tail while defecating.”

    Maybe not.

  4. daleyrocks says:

    If it’s not racist it must be homophobic if it’s on this site.

  5. JD says:

    Dwarf hippos. Can we go through even one day without a reference to dwarfs and midgets?

  6. Dan Collins says:

    The good news is . . . they’re extinct.

  7. slackjawedyokel says:

    Isn’t the correct term hippopotami?

    Regardless, I understand that they’re the other white meat.

  8. bergerbilder says:

    Those pygmy hippoes are kind of cute, would probably make a cool pet.

    Yeah, that would be sooo Hip!

  9. McGehee says:

    Isn’t the correct term hippopotami?

    Could be, but it’s been a while since I last set foot on any college campi. Or rode any school bi.

  10. I-I-I-I want a hippopotamus for Chri-is-mas
    only a hippopotamus will do!
    Don’t want a doll, no dinky Tinker Toy
    I want a hippopotamus to play with and enjoy….

  11. JD says:

    Fucking dwafs deserved to go extinct. Now, if they could give us some clues as to how it was done, then we could start in on the Oompa Loompas, midgets, and all of the rest of the short obnoxious people with disproportiantely large asses.

  12. McGehee says:

    JD, just how tall is Hillary…?

  13. B Moe says:

    “…the rest of the short obnoxious people with disproportiantely large asses.”

    I resemble that remark, dude.

  14. McGehee says:

    Times like this, I’m glad I’m 5’11”.

  15. JD says:

    McGehee – I am not sure that Hillary could be considered a midget. But, there are plenty of other reasons to dislike her other than her height.

  16. Larry says:

    #7: No, the correct English plural is hippopotamuses. The “real” plural is hippopotamodes because hippopotamus is from the Greek hippopotamos. It’s not Latin, though English has Latinized the singular.

  17. Dan Collins says:

    You say potamus, I say potamos . . .

  18. JD says:

    Who care what the singular or plural forms are? All that matters to me is that some dwarfs were removed from the face of the earth. Can you imagine how big a dwaft hippopotamususi ass is?

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