h/t Glenn Reynolds
“One year the turkey took a long time to cook and I went to carve it after about 13 beers,†said Maurice Landry, who lives near Lake Charles, La. “The way I remember it, I bore down to take off the leg and the whole thing went shooting off the platter and knocked over the centerpiece.â€Â
All of these are good reasons to adopt the high-yield, low-profile carving method described here. It involves a radically untraditional step  often followed by professionals, but new to many home cooks  that makes carving easier, if less spectacular.
My wife read me that article, and I’m going to try it this year.
The first part, which he gets wrong (except for the part about beer), is that you should never cook your own turkey, unless you’re an award-winning chef. Turkey basically sucks, and it’s not worth your time to spend 6 hours in the kitchen. Buying a turkey that’s already cooked is worth the extra few bucks.
My favorite one ever was cooked with apple cider and basted a kajillion times and I can’t remember what it was stuffed with exactly but it was some kind of cranberry apple stuffing and what was the best part was that it was made just for me. I felt very loved.
Venison and elk, on the other hand…
Drudge has the prettiest turkey this year. Ok yeah I know but it would be mean to ruin it for him.
Seems to me that this tradition lives only in art and tv shows. We’ve never carved the bird at the table — it’s a slightly messy gig when done correctly.
Cooking a turkey is easy. I’m a firm believer in cooking bags; just remember to dust the inside of the bag with flour so it doesn’t stick. The meat is always juicy. Oh, and once it goes in the oven you don’t have to stand there for 6 hours; grab the wine (3 buck Chuck for us) and play Spades or Pictionary. Or watch the Lions spiral.
Ditto #5.
I wish I had read the carving method here yesterday before I started in our bird. I mostly did it that way by accident. I’ll save the picture if possible for next year. Maybe it will be a little neater.
The best turkey you’ll ever eat, of course it requires constant tending. Someone has to keep the fire at just the right temp whick means moving the fire nearer or farther from the birds (usually 3-4) and it gets basted with italian dressing every 15-20 minutes. Takes about 4-5 hours to cook but you’ll never taste better.
I’ve been doing this for about 5 years ever since I saw it on some random cooking show. You get a far more uniform product and everyone loves the result. It’s a lot easier. You do want quite a sharp knife.