From the bestselling self-help book, Learn to Quote Like Jon Swift:
Last month at the world Bridge championships in Shanghai a team of women representing the United States did something shocking when they went up to the dais to receive the Venice Cup, the award for the best women’s team. One of their members held up a hand-lettered sign that said “We Did Not Vote for Bush.”
*****
The United States Bridge Federation has an excellent opportunity to show the world what America stands for by punishing these women. Some people have the wrong idea about what the Bill of Rights really means. In America you have freedom of expression as long as a private organization doesn’t own your expression. Peaceful protests are fine as long as they don’t embarrass organizations that depend on corporate sponsorship and take place on American soil behind police barricades where they can be videotaped for future use in any trials that might arise.
I mean, it speaks for itself, right? Screw context: every particle of every letter that John Swift types (and that includes the serifs, should there be any, be they smaller than the limbs of fleas) contains in and of itself the meaning of the whole.
Such a clever guy.
UPDATE: Jon Swift just can’t stop writing about me. I must have ripped his nuts off and waved them around my head like a pampas-riding vacquero out to kill condors. He’s right about striking a nerve, though: reading him’s kinda like chewing aluminum foil. NTTAWWT.
Dan,
I think he was attempting to be ironic or sarcastic. From my reading of his site, he would actually applaud what those ladies did.
Whereas: in Shanghai, you can get your ass killed for doing the same thing. And then they bill your family for the bullet.
Geez, gahrie. I should just quit while I’m behind.
Only lefties really understand irony.
How is this different than when NBA players get suspended for doing stupid but basically trivial stuff? It seems they want special treatment cause they themselves don’t think their Federation thinger is really to be taken all that seriously and that it really doesn’t matter how they represent that federation. Like if they want to go up on stage and lift up their dresses and flash some poon at the Chinese or whatever that would be cool cause of the levity. But really that would be just disturbing.
…and then the Chinese, North Korean, Cuban, and Vietnamese teams held up signs, saying “We Did Not Vote.”
It’s really disheartening to consider that Bush faces such opposition among the bridge-playing community. What’s the use?
“How is this different than when NBA players get suspended for doing stupid but basically trivial stuff?”
Not NBa, but Michael vick? traitor.
What’s the big deal? Not everyone voted for Bush 41.
andy, has there ever been a moment when you were not an idiot? Just askin’ …
“Comment by JD on 11/19 @ 8:45 pm #
andy, has there ever been a moment when you were not an idiot? Just askin’ …”
Not around here, anyway.
Michael Vick, heroic tragedian.
In military terms, the ladies are guilty of poor-mouthing the drill sergeant out of sight of the company flagpole. They cocked a snoot at the President on foreign soil in a time of war, so that America-hating foreigners would think better of them. Can’t say I’m shocked to see it happen; though the bridge-playing angle lends it novelty.
Unless those are really the Dixie Chicks, in their new career.
“andy, has there ever been a moment when you were not an idiot? Just askin’ …”
Whats really amazing is that these women did something so normal, so routine in a liberal society. They shared their political preference.
“Whats really amazing is that these women did something so normal, so routine in a liberal society. They shared their political preference.”
and some people have a real hard time with it:
“They cocked a snoot at the President on foreign soil in a time of war, so that America-hating foreigners would think better of them.”
“Whats really amazing is that these women did something so normal, so routine in a liberal society.”
Yep, thats one difference between liberal and leftist, all right.
I had a vision of Bush on the couch watching ESPN 34, remote in hand, saying “Yeah, I didn’t vote for you either, fugly.”
ha ha, see it’s funny because we didn’t let them back into the country…and… um… nope, not seeing it.
Just a couple of lefties looking for love on the international stage. Which, let’s face it, is what they want more than anything else.
They couldn’t pass up the opportunity. And why should they? It’s all about them.
Oh yeah, and cribbage or whatever.
I’m guessing this one will go into China Daily as an example of how undemocratic of a society we have.
No shit. I’ve seen crazier shit in China Daily, not least of which was China decrying our death penalty, and the inequity of our prison system.
I guess the point is that liberals will co-opt any institution they’re a part of to serve their own agenda, no matter how trivial.
Whats really amazing is that these women did something so normal, so routine in a liberal society. They shared their political preference.
Really? I thought they were in Shanghai.
The great lesson of 9/11 was that there is nothing, literally nothing, that can induce proggs to float down from their higher moral plane and take their country’s part in a time of peril. For progressives, especially of the intellectual bent, “ideas are the only homelandâ€Â. At least OBL doesn’t bite the hand that feeds him, or soil the home that shelters him.
After clicking on that photo, I can see why they have PLENTY of time to compete internationally.
You gotta grant them this, they made bridge interesting for once.
“I guess the point is that liberals will co-opt any institution they’re a part of to serve their own agenda, no matter how trivial.”
They will also continue to willfully misunderstand the First Amendment, no matter how many times it is carefully explained to them that it only protects against government suppression of speech.
I wish the 2nd Amendment was treated with as much reverence as the 1st Amendment. I also wish these ladies were forced to extend their visit to China by way of a Chinese prison, but such is not my luck.
“Really? I thought they were in Shanghai.”
And the outrage is in english.
And the outrage is in english. The language of the waterboard. The bastard tongue of the Kyoto betrayers. The braying oppressive speech of Wal-Mart shoppers.
God you people make me sick.
I just keep waiting for my homeowner’s association to pass a resolution denouncing President Bush, or torture, or poverty.
happyfeet – That comment was very insightful. Well said.
Gee, folks here are expressing their political opinion of the Bridgie Chicks, and along comes andy to complain.
andy=irony-free.
I guess, if we use Chris’ standard, we are not allowed to express our opinion unless we really and truly KNOW these ladies. And, since I have no diesire to know them, either in the biblical sense or any other, I shall refrain from expressing my opinion any more.
It’s a beautiful thing. I’m glowing all over. The irony all over the place. I especially like the international outreach, the way of saying, “Hey, look how we get to act without being shot.” The sanctimony. The pathos of needing to be liked by strangers over compatriots. The part that fills me with warmth, gives me hope for humanity and for the future, is the part where prim bridge-playing, serious-minded, team-oriented women get to act out and go all code pink.
Off topic but goody gumdrops!!! The Crow’s Nest relaunched today! spoiler: look for the link to a spicy response from Norman Podhoretz to Andrew Sullivan!!!
FWIW – I am on cloud 9 right now. Illinois basketball is on ESPN and Michael Jeffrey Jordan is in the crowd wearing an Illini shirt !!!!!!!!!!!
I did not vote for Bush. Twice.
Gee, that wasn’t so hard. I don’t imagine 50 million more would object to the rigorous effort of stating the same in a public forum. And here you are, clutching your pearls and calling for the smelling salts over one woman holding up a small sign.
Be patient. Maybe you’ll be able to make a few bucks on “Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for the Bitch” t-shirts.
“The part that fills me with warmth, gives me hope for humanity and for the future, is the part where prim bridge-playing, serious-minded, team-oriented women get to act out and go all code pink.”
And thats whats so amazing. That simply sharing their political choice to not vote for a deeply unpopular president is ‘all code pink.’
I don’t know.
Dan, are you sure that’s the womyns team from the USA? I just think they look… well, pretty much East Bloc-ish. And that would explain why they didn’t vote for Bush.
I don’t own any pearls.
Let’s see…
Attacks on middle aged women for how they look. Check!
The focus on some incredibly obscure event to validate your world view of liberal persecution? Check!
Name-calling? Check!
The unwarranted collapsing of “critics of the Bush regime” with “leftist.” Check!
I know you won’t miss me, but I find this place incredibly toxic, unfunny, and juvenile (as in I actually think many of you are virginal 12th graders.)
On the other hand, Dan, whom I know isn’t a virginal 12th grader, says this:
It’s really disheartening to consider that Bush faces such opposition among the bridge-playing community. What’s the use?
Which is funny, so I give him props, despite our earlier disagreements. This will be my last foray here, so peace out brothers and sisters! Feel the love!
gfw says – This will be my last foray here, so peace out brothers and sisters! Feel the love!
We’ve heard that before. No dialogue on the echo chambers of their own blogs, they are forced to look elsewhere for amusement. A taste is all it takes. gfw will be back.
Remind me why the hell I should care about a hack like Swift.
Ok, here’s the thing. If you agree with Jon that free speech shouldn’t mean that the bridge team spoke rightly, then why are you tearing into him for agreeing with you?
‘CAUSE OF THE IRONY! NC
Reactionary leftist a such a bunch of whining, humorless pecksniffs.
incredibly toxic, unfunny, and juvenile (as in I actually think many of you are virginal 12th graders.
See, this is how one debates without calling people names. Y
Followed, of course, by declaring victory and running away for the 20th time.
Let’s see…
“Cocked a snoot” used, Dixie Chicks obscurity noted, fucking ugly termed “fugly.” Check!
Thor pouncing on unrelated Michael Vick reference. Check!
Constitutional amendments invoked, 1st and 2nd. Check!
WalMart, Kyoto, Waterboarding as satirical metaphors synonymous to great American evil. Check!
Feigned “Peace out” followed by signing-off-forever salutation from dumb ass hippie. Check!
I know you won’t miss me, but I find this place incredibly toxic, unfunny, and juvenile (as in I actually think many of you are virginal 12th graders.
You know, back when I was a morally superior, feminist, liberal, smelly hippy – I often had a similar reaction being around my BIL. We’d debate politics, and I’d just think he was the biggest asshole. It took a while for me to realize it, but the problem was I couldn’t counter any of his arguments with -you know – facts. My opinions just FELT right. It was frustrating, and I would get angry. And, I’d eventually just walk away in a snit.
In my defense, I was 21 at the time.
The feigned mercifulness of the leftist brain requires application of political penumbra to all matters. Now, if that calms a storm of self-doubt in its execution, the leftist brain can enjoy a cocktail with dinner, even if it means accidental exploitation of a potato-raising peasant somewhere. Unfortunately, that also reveals to the leftist that its motivation is unpure, having found selfish reward in a revolutionary act that was to be only an aid to liberating the masses.
Bad leftist! Bad leftist!
Where is a confessor apparatchik when one needs social absolution?
A math refresher:
Bridge Players expressing a dislike of Bush on foreign soil in wartime = good
Jon “the hack” Swift attempting riff off same = good
Dan (and commenters) expressing an opinion on the matter = dark night of facism
Yep, adds up to me. This new logic is awesome and is probably one of the signs of why our schools remain the best in the world.
facism = fascism. Which is more of a sign of my proof reading skills.
If you’ve been playing bridge all day, and all you are hearing from your opposing teams is “Bush…he a warmongah” or “Bush shoo haf listen to HansBrix” or “Bush luin Amelica” and “It’s your turn!!! You Bush Americans are so stupid”, the best way to stand up to them is to make a sign that says “We didn’t vote for Bush” even if some of you did.
Bridge is not a game of courage. It’s a game that helps you develop a fat ass.
JD, could you really have meant this: #
Comment by JD on 11/19 @ 9:55 pm #
“…I also wish these ladies were forced to extend their visit to China by way of a Chinese prison, but such is not my luck.”
You want people thrown in a foreign prison for saying they did VOTE for the President? You conflate the President with America, support for the President with support for America?
You really know no depth of inanity? I don’t know you, but from reading your posts, you are a truly a piece of work. On a site filled with folks who believe Republican Party = America (I’m sure there are notable exceptions), your work stands out as the vilest of the vile.
On a site filled with folks who believe Republican Party = America
Drive-by troll with no sense of humor, who poses as an expert on the site. Check.
Yawn.
Sometimes I think the biggest problem between the howling monkeys on either side of the aisle is their tendency to hold certain demonstrably human things as somehow sacred and therefore, above mockery. Unfortunately, each has different idols.
Why the fuck should I care about a bunch of bitties who felt the need to ingratiate themselves in the home of histories largest genocides by denying approval of the President? In my head, they all look like Sheila Brovlovsky. So let’s all sing “Kyle’s Mom is a Stupid Bitch” in D Minor and be done with it.
As for the “You made fun of their appearance? You BEASTS!” brigade, please take a moment to explain why only heterosexual males seem disallowed to mock a woman’s looks.
Or, barring that, make good on your commitment to leave. If your kind of input is ever needed here, I’m sure somebody has a copy of The Second Sex they could thumb through and quote at random. It would be that touch more eloquent.
I didn’t know the Bridge Federation was an arm of Bushitler’s regime. I mean, to conflate what the association may do to this women for their actions, with the rising tide of fascism in America is a bit of a stretch.
The national conversation that surrounds the episode is simply what we do. Up for debate is whether or not it was appropriate. Liberals think politics mix with everything (and then whine when there is backlash – ala Dixie Chicks.)
Here’s an idea – perhaps the Bridge association preferred to remain apolitical?!?
I have an idea for lefties (who are employeed) – why don’t you use you’re companies dime (w/o permission) to make a political statement. If you work in a shop, put up a BIG HONKING sign in the window that Bush is Hitler.
See how that works out.
An expert is spying with no ability to read?
“On a site filled with folks who believe Republican Party = America (I’m sure there are notable exceptions)”
At least you are one of the exceptions, although I’m not sure if it says anything nice about the non-Knee jerk Republicans when they apparently cannot read.
But, otherwise, great input and nice name calling. I guess it’s okay to say 4 women should be spending time in a Chinese jail for a thought crime, and not okay to say the commenters on this site lean Republican (since the first 40 comments or so all accept a connection between opposing the President and opposing America.
So, I see the difference (you’re a kook, Pirate, spy, brigand; I’m not). Thanks for illuminating the point.
Dear friend, I’m saddened by your brief analysis. For sheer stupidity, depravity and vileness I’m afraid I have to declare myself champion. By measure of volume, certainly Dan is top-ranked and JD not far behind, but they are not driven by pure spite. I nauseate my own pets and my Mom quit returning my calls long ago. Just yesterday I laced my two-year old nephew’s shoes to each other just to watch him spill, get up, and spill again. And don’t think I didn’t enjoy emptying his pockets of candy while he lay face down in a flummoxed state of outburst, I did.
On a site filled with folks who believe Republican Party = America
Evidence?
Oh, right: you’re stupid.
Now declare victory and run away, there’s a good boy.
I am the vilest of the vile !!! Yeah, me !!! And timmah is a douchenozzle.
So long as Mr Swift continues to go by, well, Jonathan Swift, and continues to throw up nonsense like this, any blogger award for best comedy that ranks lower than infinity +1 is just not doing him justice.
JD, the rest of us are green with envy. Vilissimo!
At the heart of the Leftist misunderstanding of the First Amendment is the conflation of speech with “expression,†in that the latter carries a considerably more emotional connotation and constitutes a more perfect outlet for malignant narcissism than speech alone.
What is objectionable in this case – and what the resident Leftists refuse to recognize – is that the old bags usurped an event that was about the card game of bridge and made it about themselves and their feelings with Bush as the materiel for their narcissism.
Of course, if I worked at some precious little hippie co-op “business†for the advancement of excellence in progressivism, I don’t suppose that the same arguments in support of my contrarian views would be entertained.
Hint for Pennypacker: “Leaning Republican” and “believing that Republican Party = America” are not synonyms. Really. Words have meanings.
What was that about “apparently cannot read”?
Heh.
Don’t taunt me. I’ve declared myself most-vile. I’m terrible and ugly! You’re nothing but a poseur!
I saw Vilest of the Vile at the Morrow County Fair last year. They were peforming their little known smash-hit “Don’t Trump my Spade, Bro”. They.Absolutely.Rocked.
guess it’s okay to say 4 women should be spending time in a Chinese jail for a thought crime, and not okay to say the commenters on this site lean Republican (since the first 40 comments or so all accept a connection between opposing the President and opposing America.
I guess it’s ok to TOTALLY miss the point of mentioning the Chinese jail, and believe you’ve scored a point.
Ladies and gentlemen, let us raise our glasses for a toast.
To Evil, and World Domination via a Dirigible of Doom!!!
HennyPecker – Your words waste the pixels on my screen. For someone that claims to not spend much time here, you felt no restraint to state that Dan is my hero, and Jeff my idol, or vice versa, and proclaim my inability to comprehend how to exist when my hero criticizes my idol.
You are an idiot. I enjoy Jeff and Dan. They have more talent in their pinkies than most on the Left have in their entire useless bodies.
Just another drive-by Moby completely lacking any sense of perspective and sense of humor. Imagine that.
thor: I’m terrible and ugly!
Undoubtedly Bush’s fault.
It’s impossible to miss you when you won’t stay gone. Try it, and see!
World Domination via a Dirigible of Doom!!!
Sounds great! Can I also have a Persian cat and a monocle? ‘Cause world domination just wouldn’t be the same without the proper fashion accessories.
thor – I am the vilest of the vile. Your efforts have been weighed, measured, and been found wanting.
This infestation of trolls is a feisty lot. Too bad they appear to be every bit as dense as the all of the ones that preceded them.
Spies – Does vilissimo translate to “El penga grande” ? If so, thank you. If not, tarjim alan, min fudlik.
“I guess it’s okay to say 4 women should be spending time in a Chinese jail for a thought crime,”
I guess it’s okay to read “visit a Chinese prison” and think it means “spend a prison term in a Chinese prison” and not “observe a Chinese prison, where doubtless thousands of political prisonares are being kept, and thus, hopefully, note the inappropriateness of slagging the President in a country that has political prisoners, when they stand no chance of becoming one (and rightfully so).”
It’s especially okay to then accuse people of not being able to read.
“and not okay to say the commenters on this site lean Republican (since the first 40 comments or so all accept a connection between opposing the President and opposing America.
It’s definitely okay to assume that only Republicans would object to a President, of either party, being denounced in a foreign, unfree land in time of war, because I think recent history bears that out.
I don’t think it’s okay to not close your parentheticals, though. But be not flummoxed by my wingnuttery, booga booga!
Carin – I was hoping that the inherent irony of this “dissent” on Chi Com soil, was not lost on everyone. Only the irony-impaired on the Left.
Honestly, how can we expect to get good quality trolls when we are toxic, unfunny, and juvenile? I’m gonna go visit Kos and see if I can learn how we can uplift the level of our discourse …
As a start, and we can implement this immediately, we need to start posting “FIRST!” comments.
I think “this dissent” matters even less than anything Tgobb has to say.
Which is to say that one might need cryo-cooled instruments to even detect how much it matters.
YMMV, of course.
hennyPecker – Andrew is exponentially brighter than yourself, as is a bunch of asparagus (not white asparagus ‘cuz that would be racist), toe jam, and my next door neighbor’s Shi-Tzu.
Andrew, I apologize for including you in this list. You just happened to point this out to the pecker while I was typing the same.
“I guess it’s okay to say 4 women should be spending time in a Chinese jail for a thought crime, and not”
I believe that the point that was being made here – in the spirit of irony – was that the women were making a leftist statement in a nation controlled by Leftists which does, in fact, imprison people for thought crimes.
While I do not believe that the Republican Party is synonymous with America, I have taken note of the fact that “the other side†has the tendency to embrace every constituency critical of the United States regardless of merit or relevance and consorts with any declared enemy of the United States. I do not recall any right wingers or Republicans visiting with Hugo Chavez or Fidel Castro etc., or who consider the United States the sui generis, irredeemable villain of World History.
So, um, yeah – how ‘bout that?
Well, JD, I find many liberals to be woefully uninformed about things such as History, world events, etc. Perhaps it simply went over his head.
And, in their defense, there haven’t been very many movies detailing the crimes of communism – so how would one expect them to know anything about Chinese prisons, and what occurs to dissenters there? Mention the crimes of Hitler, and they’re all over it. Mao … not so much.
SBP – certainly, we adhere to the ‘evil casual’ dress code, but there is nothing preventing you from wearing the traditional monocle and having a Persian cat.
Toxic, unfunny, and juvenile. Don’t forget vile, Carin. I have been declared the vilest of the vile, much to the mighty thor’s chagrin.
thor – The judges found that you would have won, but you cleaned up Mike Vick’s love spunk prior to your interview. However, they found your idea about BBQ’ing the bodies of tortured freedom fighters and putting the rocky mountain oyster kabobs in the buffet at the UN to be scintillating.
Alec – if you have to explain it, it kinda loses it’s edge.
Alec, it’s not that the Gauchists believe the USA is the villain of world history (That spot is reserved for the Catholic Church and Scooter Libby). It’s just that they would like us to consider the notion that we are, maybe, just a little bit, you know, baddish? I mean, everybody is, and if we copped to it, and told the world how bad we are, then everyone will be moved by our pathos and love us, just like in every After School Special we watched.
You know? OMG!
FIRST!!!!!
And, JD, no one called me vile. I’m not copping-up to that crime.
Hmmm … While thor’s vileness seems to be fixed and dilated upon his smarmy man love for Michael Vick and his monomaniacal insensitivity to the suffering of teh puppies, JD’s essential and transcendant vileness crosses gender, political and sports boundries. He has, I believe, achieved universal vileness.
Sorry, thor, but you are a one trick vile pony. JD is an entire herd of running, snorting mustangs of vileness.
Does the evil casual dress code include a gold tipped cane? Because I have always pictured the truly vile, like myself, to use a gold tipped cane, while peering thru my monocle, and laughing about the mentally impaired on the Left.
I think leftists think that the US is mediocre at EVERYTHING. Name one subject- and they would point elsewhere for excellence. From politics to healthcare to art to food.
It’s a wonder people live here.
“an entire herd of running, snorting mustangs of vileness” ha HA !!! Take that, thor.
Thank you, BJ. Those are the kindest words I have read today.
FRIST !
Your vileness ascendency has been put in jeopardy as you should know that your cane needs to be tipped with the skull of a murdered brown child.
Gold indeed!
“Comment by Carin on 11/20 @ 8:09 am #
Honestly, how can we expect to get good quality trolls when we are toxic, unfunny, and juvenile? I’m gonna go visit Kos and see if I can learn how we can uplift the level of our discourse …”
Well, there WILL be a new We ‘B Trolls opening at my neighborhood strip mall…..
Universal vileness, something you can only aspire to be, thor. Something I have accomplished, without effort, and despite much restraint.
Skip the gold-tipped cane and go right for the 1/8th-sized clone. They’re evil, they want to take over the world, and they fit comfortably in most overhead storage bins. It’s a win-win.
…and of course it’s got to be have a sword concealed in it.
To be really vile, though, you have to have that third nipple.
Andrew – Despite being the vilest of the vile, I am deathly afraid of the little people, so though an excellent idea, no so much for the universally vile.
How about illegal gold, mined by little brown children sold into servitude, and blood diamond tipped canes? Skulls are passe.
Andrew – Despite being the vilest of the vile, I am deathly afraid of the little people, so though an excellent idea, no so much for the universally vile.
How about illegal gold, mined by little brown children sold into servitude, and blood diamond tipped canes? Skulls are passe.
Seriously, who the f*ck is Jon Swift? And why should he graced with the links to his ramblings?
I mean, I don’t like the schizophrenic street person on the street corner who screams obscenities at me, but addressing him only makes him crazier.
Seriously, why do leftists get all in a snit when some of us express criticism of somebody else’s snark?
Do I have to be a Republican to express the opinion that winning a bridge tournament in a country with a bloated history of genocide and political oppression, a country that actively leans on search engines to eliminate politicaly “sensitive” material and regularly jails both political and religious dissidents does not give one a moral imperative free from complaint if one elects to take a shot at the President?
Nuance: It’s what’s for dinner!
Definitely will have a sword concealed inside. Some kind of laser too. And, guns.
Carin – They do not think that we are mediocre at everything. Torture? Killing brown people? Oppressing people? Stifling dissent? Stealing elections? The rest of the countries are pikers compared to us.
HPblahblah said “…so all accept a connection between opposing the President and opposing America.”
Bzzzzt! Wrong again. It’s just that the left has had the hubris in the last 7 years or so to say that over 200 years of politcal etiquette, cobbled together by common sense, is not good enough for them.
“WE are going to have a tantrum anywhere and any time we want to!!! Who cares what it does to America, and civility in general?”
And Jimmuh has seen fit to be the first ex-president to publicly try and rip a sitting president a new asshole, both here and abroad. Not just once, but countless times. What a boor that idiot is. I think that has happened only once before, and it was a single incident. Why should some peanut farmer (who just about destroyed this country economically and spiritually), think that his rantings are above a silent political code that has been in effect basically since day one in this country? Because, like all lefties, he is just SO FUCKING SMART. Rules of civility are suspended for the “smart ones” (i.e. = lefties).
And so is the idea that the president is in charge of foriegn policy being chewed up by chipper blades like Nancy Pelosi. 40 years ago, she would have been thrown out of Congress for kissing Assad’s ass WHILE IN SYRIA!
Because, you see, when the proggs are dealing with our enemies, then they start sounding like Emily Post.
I’ll tell you why hubris is at the bottom of their two faced dealings. Because the left knows no bounds of hubris, and wouldn’t deign to learn history if you put a gun to their heads. Russia? China? Cuba? No problem.
They are so much smarter than the billions of people who have lived before them, and certainly smarter than me.
Stupid assholes.
Fuck you childish brainless assholes that think history has no function, or that any ideas other than your own are worthless.
Stupid, stupid, stupid
You are the worthless ones.
You forgot vileness. APEX!!
He’s like, the third-funniest guy on the webs, according to the Teutonic Humor League.
Lost Dog – You forgot vile. You must include vile. And I am the vilest of the vile.
Dan, have you checked your vileness rank? I mean, JD’s sittin’ on top with thor chasing his tail (heh) but I have to believe that you are rising like a bullet!
Dream the big dreams, Collins!!!
Oooo! Oooo! Can they be mounted on shark heads?
Dan –
“He’s like, the third-funniest guy on the webs, according to the Teutonic Humor League.”
I think he was included in the shortest book I ever read: “Five Hundred Years Of German Humor”.
Or was the shortest book; “Black Yaschtsmen I Hve Known”?
BJ – The only tail thor is chasing is Vick’s. Unfortunately for him, he will have to get jailed for stalking to get a piece of that action. That ass should be about as safe as The Big Dig by the time thor gets there.
Vile, I say. Vile.
No Geezer, friggin’ lasers can only be mounted on the heads of your midget clone. This enables them to fend off Martin Buber, which is key to maintaining effective vileness.
“I’ll tell you why hubris is at the bottom of their two faced dealings. Because the left knows no bounds of hubris, and wouldn’t deign to learn history if you put a gun to their heads. Russia? China? Cuba? No problem.” (Lost Dog)
“Only lefties really understand irony.” (Collins)
For a moment I thought you were being facetious.
Is it also true that the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy?
Re: Percy D #95
Seriously, who the f*ck is Jon Swift? And why should he graced with the links to his ramblings?
Thanks PD.. You saved me the trouble of having to ask exactly the same thing…
Is this faux Jon Swift some famous person that I’ve never heard of before? Has he distinguished himself in some way? I mean besides being a runner up for a Weblog Award.. Neat I guess but not exactly a Pulitzer is it? Worst than his lack of literary chops is that he’s boring… At least Dr Ric Caric and his minions would were kinda sorta entertaining…
Can someone remind me why we care what this fellow thinks?
I mean, keerist, I doubt his own mother cares.
Has psychotherapy helped with your PRE traumatic stress disorder, semenkkkleo?
“For a moment I thought you were being facetious.
Is it also true that the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy?”
Is cleo being clever again? I can’t tell.
“He’s like, the third-funniest guy on the webs, according to the Teutonic Humor League.”
Yeah, I mean he is no comparison to Marcoott, whose clever “break something” satire, followed by 100 posts of how the pandagoofs broke/defaced property, and Marcoott’s rationalization that “right wingers get all upset about property” is the acme of brilliant blogging.
They were joking about destroying/defacing property, of course. She made this clear – satire and all.
The Irish?
No, that’s not true.
And they’re not impervious to alcohol, either…
And why bother trying to be ironic or facetious when it’s like throwing a Frisbee over the progg’s heads. How do you explain to someone about history, when they don’t give a rat’s ass, and call you a liar because they never heard of something.
With facetiousness? Sounds like a losing strategy to me. It’s like my little boy who “hated” cinnamon buns and refused to eat one because he had never had one.
Just put on the old helmet and start right in with the head butting. Why waste time?
Maybe tomorrow I will be trying facetious….
Go ahead, gang up on me, populist scumbags. What is this, a democracy, and you, the electorate?
I declared myself most-vile champion. What you got JD, other people calling you most-vile? This America or China? It’s China, amigo!
As head of the Vilest Maoist Peoples Party, I declare anyone not bestowing me as honorably most-vile to be enemy of the Peoples Republic of China. I’ll imprison you all! I’ll remove your tongues and wear ’em as neckties. I’m the Peoples! Learn it, love it and live it! You ordinary vile scum are just people.
The ‘evil casual’ dress code envisions a relaxed, comfortable, yet still presentable attire while in the office environment or while organizing an atrocity in the fiels. Khakis and a polo shirt with the organization’s emblem embroidered on the pocket is contemplated.
When meeting with clients or with meddling do-gooders, we do suggest a more formal evil attire such as the monocle, the ascot, or the futuristic uniform. The gold-tipped cane like the Vincent Price moustache may be used, but that is left up to the preference of the individual villian.
Please refere to pages 7-10 of your Employee Evil Handbook for more information or contact the the Evil Human Resources Division.
Do we get dental?
Yes, you get dental and health care*, but the retirement package is quite skimpy. Best if you set that up yourselves.
*Does not cover employer-created injuries such as burning, dismembering, shooting, electrocution or being eaten by mutant sea-bass.
“Do we get dental?”
Only for ze faangs! Bwaahaahaahaa! Bwaaahahahaha!
Do we get dental?
Do you mean like Francis Dolarhyde?
“#
Comment by Semanticleo on 11/20 @ 9:08 am #
Is it also true that the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy?”
I don’t know.
Why don’t you give it a try and get back to us?
In about 18 months or so.
I’ve reported all your IP addresses to Google-China. Good luck Googling for a recipe for tiger paw soup.
RE: The Ouroboros
Re: Percy D #95
I mean besides being a second runner up for a Weblog Award.
Fixed it for you.
So, what’s the point of linking to Swift’s site anyway?
The “argument” isn’t interesting and neither’s the writing. His “riff” off the bridge kerfuffle does nothing more than reveal his boring, tired, dime-a-dozen worldview.
(Just like his “ha ha” claim to be a “conservative” who OMG listens to Rush and Fox news! Just like all the real ones do! Because all of them do that, you know!)
Seriously, Dan, it’s not worth bothering with him.
(What happened to the decent, intelligent Left, anyway? I know some exist, because Oliver Kamm exists. Why all these angry idiots? I blame hippies.)
I’m on a roll today. It took me 123 comments to realize why “John Swift” seemed familiar.
I’m confusing him with “Tom Swift” and have been trying to figure out the pun involved in “Learn to quote like Tom Swift,” he said secondhandedly.
Or something.
(Any suggestions for a better “Tom Swifty” than “secondhandedly?” I’ll admit it’s a bit forced.)
All this discordant fuss over one woman holding up a small sign…
Donald Rumsfeld was right when he said we need to be savvier in our use of media to counter enemy propaganda, and I would add that shrewdness need not be high-tech.
A good old fashioned newsreel serves a powerful punch…
honk-shoo
Gesundheit?
“There seems to be at least one blood-sucking insect in every outhouse,” said Tom aloofly.
“Who discovered radium?” asked Tom curiously.
“I was deported from China!” Tom said disorientedly.
The first week of the voyage was uneventful. The weather was exceptionally fine, and hardly any one was seasick. The Reverend Mr. Blinderpool was often on deck, and he made it a point to cultivate the acquaintance of Tom and his friends. In spite of the fact that he said he had traveled very little, he seemed to know much about hidden corners of the world, but always, as on an occasion when he had accidentally let slip some remark that showed he had been in far-off China or Asia, he would suddenly change the conversation when it verged to travel.
“There’s something queer about that minister,” said Ned after one of these occasions, “but I can’t decide what it is.”
( quantum res change… )
“Hurry!” said Tom, swiftly.
*Is it also true that the Irish are impervious to psychotherapy8
Speaking as a person of Irish descent, who had admittedly attended therapy sessions, I can only conclude, from an Irish perspective, is the money I spent on the therapy would have been better spent getting drunk. Which, in many ways, is the primary form of therapy for the Irish. Better yet, we get drunk then we fight- works out aggression. Then we sometimes boil stuff for dinner.
Sometimes we drink dinner too, boiled or otherwise. Merely as a time saver mind you.
Sometimes we drink breakfast too.
Are you guys sure that those bridge players weren’t advertising an upcoming sex change operation? “WE DIDN’T VOTE FOR BUSH” seems a trifle ambiguous to me.
Not to be cruel, but it doesn’t look like it would take much, surgically or hormonally.
Dan, Jon Swift can’t stop writing about himself. I think Jeff’s response earlier to Jon’s email was hillarious. Anyone who cannot appreciate the humor of a manic Count Cockula is a wet blanket.
“Damn, I dropped the toothpaste,” said Tom, crestfallen.
“This haircut is way too short” said Tom, distressed.
“Horsepucky” said Cap’n Ed, a lot.
“Then we sometimes boil stuff for dinner.”
That’s not cuisine. That’s penance.
“This bathwater is too hot to sit in!” Tom said, testily.
(I’m in therapy for the scrotum thing.)