Of course I have. You know as well as I do my shovel is in the shop.
Like I’d risk splitting a nail. Use your heads, people!
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Recent Comments
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Getting the dents out?
She’s gonna think you don’t love her no mores.
G’night, everybody! Don’t forget to tip your waitresses!
You don’t have a hubcap or two strewn about near your trailer?
Can’t breathe. Special place. Who’s a bunny? I’m a bunny
In my castle
Happy castle
Safe and warm.
Seeing as how this is the land of the coded message, I am going to interpret this post as a call to begin head butting our disobedient spouses. The call to oppress women and minorities is, as always, implied.
Do you recommend wearing a helmet while doing this, or do you think the old ways are best?
By “helmet” I sure do hope you are talking about the dick. Because we must at all costs remain consistent in our obsessions here, EG.
But I just got my hair did, and I’m not head-bonking anyone’s wife.
Selfish.
Indeed Jeff. However, I have learned the hard way that my neighbors are not at all convinced by my reasonable explanations that I only walk around sans pants so that I can be better prepared should a “situation” arise. Fortunately the police just laugh and make me go back indoors.
I’m going to stop beating my children for the Holidays. MERRY CHRISTMAS! The dog, of course, is still in play.
Here puppy puppy …
What a dick! Crowing about how you’ve got a wife to beat when a lot of us are still single.
I ain’t got a fancy shovel, neither. Dick.
Remember to rotate your handle every 5000 whacks.
“Fortunately the police just laugh and make me go back indoors.”
Except David Caruso. Who, while thoughtfully pusing his sunglasses onto the bridge of his nose, says in hushed tones:
“HEY!!! THAT GUY ISN’T WEARING ANY FUCKING PANTS!!!”
Damn, blew another attempt at selling a “CSI: Miami” script. Back to the drawing board. Does anyone have the Crayole box with the built-in sharpener?
Or a spellchecker?
You didn’t specify type of shovel. Although we must assume it’s a nice one, not a dinky plastic snow shovel, since you’re bothering to fix it and not just replace it.
You’d better get your shovel back soon, Jeff. If you grow complacent and let too much time go by between beatings, you’re liable to come home one day to find your wife’s developed an affinity for getting slapped around by [i]spades[/i].
Oooh, nice subtextual expression of the underlying racist urge presumed to swim under the surface of polite society like sharks with frickin’ lasers on their heads, manifesting the subliminal desire of those who succeed at the game of life to celebrate the trampling of the weak, while simultaneously expressing the base sexual fear of the other.
Or maybe that’s just what you want them to think!
Would have been more effective if I hadn’t blown the html. Of course, then the html wouldn’t be lounging on my couch with an unbuckled belt and a lazy, satisfied smirk on its face.
Didn’t Slim Pickens get hit on the head with a shovel?
Benedick – I can tell by your misuse of layout code that you have the legs of a dancer.
Which is kind of like comfortable shoes, unless I’ve Malapropped my metaphors, again.
And here I thought “layout code” was an elaborate collection of pocket handkerchiefs.
Well, okay, technically emphasis is formatting, not layout.
I’ve been sick. [cough, cough]
Wasn’t criticizing your syntax, Mero. Just an oblique reference to this apparent phenomenon:
http://www.adventurersfl.com/hanky.html
I don’t wear hankies, personally. Not my personal style. I prefer to simply don the assless leather chaps and eliminate any uncertainty.
I was just playing along with the gag, Ben. :)
Oh. I assumed that was just ice cream.
Just fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay, pal?
{/Kip Adotta}
No, I have not finished eating my wife.
Chianti, or Pinot Noir?
Or is a white wine more appropriate, given the “other white meat” aspect of the endeavor?
Gott’a link?
mu
Jeff, after your shovel is fixed and you finish beating your wife, could you come over here and take care of mine? She’s onto me, but I bet she would think a stranger with a shovel would probably be coming to dig for buried treasure to give her.
Be very careful though, because she can empty pockets with just a wave of her hand.
Is this vicious enough to get me some time on Jon Swift’s blog? I’m really trying, you know.
Dan shouldn’t get ALL of the attention.