me: “Reagan famously noted that hippies ‘look like Tarzan, walk like Jane, and smell like Cheetah,’ correct?”
YAF tour guide: “That’s true. But he was being flip. I don’t think he had anything against the long hairs individually –”
me: “– Sure. Whatever. Fuck the hippies. My point is — again we get Reagan with the chimp references. See where I’m going here –?”
YAF tour guide: “– For the last time, sir, there are no stuffed monkeys hidden on the Reagan ranch that I am aware of, nor is there any mention of a stuffed monkey in any of Reagan’s personal records or memoirs.”
me: “I see.”
me: “So that’s like, another non-denial denial, then?”
YAF tour guide: “If you say so, sure.”
me: “Well.”
me: “There you go again.”
Would those be the ones originating from the nostrils, or the ears?
Again I say if you had just snuck away from the tour and checked out the sewing room…
Jane Wyman! The Horror!!!
Cause, you know, that Nancy was just a tad overprotective…
That’s because he obviously meant something completely different when he referred to “stuffing the monkey.”
I’m betting Jane Wyman was involved somehow. That little tramp.
Ghost of Cheetah: “‘Stuffing the monkey?’ You too, huh?”
Ghost of Bonzo: “That guy’s a little off-target, actually. It wasn’t the Gipper, it was ‘Skipper.'”
Ghost of Cheetah: “Can’t say that surprises me. Not that there’s…”
Ghost of Bonzo: “Yeah.”
Jeff,
You better be careful, because before you know it, you’ll be obsessing about evil monkey ninjas.
Then you’d morph into Frank J.
Mojo Rono?
Ron Jr. totally stole the stuffed monkey one day without really thinking it through. I know cause one day he was sobbing like really really violently and he looked at me and you could see the pain and he looked down and in a soft choking voice he said that it was always the monkey it was never me. I just wanted him to look at me. So we got some ice cream and then he was all like now what the hell do I do with this monkey and we laughed. He might still have it but you could tell it wasn’t something he really wanted to have around.
Did you know Ron Jr.’s middle name is Prescott? Just like Jeb’s kid. What’s up with that?
Can you still be a Junior if you have a different name? That seems kind of like cheating.
Ron Reagan Jr wants to know if there’s anything wrong with stuffing the monkey.
Good point. Wikipedia does not give him the Junior. I got that from Google’s search suggestion thinger. Kind of sloppy, huh? On the east coast it’s after five. Apropos of nothing, that.
Comment by McGehee on 11/16 @ 1:47 pm #
Ghost of Cheetah: “‘Stuffing the monkey?’ You too, huh?â€Â
Ghost of Bonzo: “That guy’s a little off-target, actually. It wasn’t the Gipper, it was ‘Skipper.’â€Â
Ghost of Cheetah: “Can’t say that surprises me. Not that there’s…â€Â
Ghost of Bonzo: “Yeah.â€Â
It’s Cheeta you pathetic inbred Homo sapien imbecile and I’m still alive.
Yeah, you are. Cheetah’s been dead since he took the brown acid back in ’67.
Or didn’t they tell you you were like the second Darren?
You haven’t toured the Alamo yet, have you? Well, you should, because Dan Collins’ respectability is hidden in its basement.
Unsportsmanlike conduct. Late hit. Unoriginal. Off-topic. 15 yards and an automatic first down.
Off-topic? Asking silly questions of tour guides isn’t off-topic. And what has been stolen from Jeff? Not his bicycle.
And I wasn’t trying to be original. That’s kind of the point when making an allusion. Now do something with those yards, since the goalposts haven’t moved any.
But you ripped your allusion from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, didn’t you? That’s just sad.
Allusions to tour guides and stupid questions just aren’t found in standard fare, which is why I immediately though of Mr. Reuben’s Opus.
Now that was a sad allusion. That movie was almost Robin Williams-esque.
Oh, look. Would that be Jon? How about a link, there, buddy?
See, credibility all resides in your bizarre interpretation of civility, doesn’t it jon? Where it doesn’t reside is in the truth.
Meade, Jon (’03)
Librarian II
Arizona State Prison Complex- Tucson
Santa Rita Unit
Work Phone: (520) 574-0024
Email: jkarkimeade@msn.com