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dance, monkey! Now! And make it good, too, or we won't be back!

Yeah? {*burp*}

Well then fuck you.

78 Replies to “dance, monkey! Now! And make it good, too, or we won't be back!”

  1. Jeff G. says:

    Later, gator.

  2. dicentra says:

    Bad meds day, huh? Yeah, I’ve been there.

  3. cranky-d says:

    I’ve never understood the “Play the way I want you to or I’m gonna take my ball and go home” people. There have been sites I’ve read that lost my interest, and I never made a big deal out of it, I just stopped reading.

    I guess I’m funny that way.

  4. cynn says:

    I really appreciated JG’s principled (that is to say mostly neutral) response to the latest GG dustup. I’m going to chip in some $$.

  5. JD says:

    I have never understood that mindset either. Listen folks … if you do not think that this forum is covering what you want covered, feel free to start your own blog. The idea that this place should be one-dimensional, and cater to anyone’s particular interests other than Jeff’s is absurd.

    For those of us who enjoy this place the way it is, shut the fuck up.

    Sorry.

  6. Education Guy says:

    Oh please, we know there is no dancing going on here. Just how many Fridays Weeks Months Years do you think you can fool us for?

  7. Education Guy says:

    So much for the strikethrough. Oh well, it wasn’t really that funny to begin with.

  8. me says:

    Where is the back-story that might explain this post and the comments? Please don’t tell me I have to start reading Dan’s posts to understand Jeff’s posts! Aaaaaaaaaaaa…

  9. Dan Collins says:

    No, me . . . just the comments.

  10. RiverC says:

    It is a complex thing, this ‘Protein Wisdom’. Some day, some person will place all of the posts inside of a paper codex with footnotes, and then will sell a separate one prefixed ‘Handbook to’. Then one suffixed with ‘for Dummies’, and ‘for Idiots’. Depending on how many Ace of Spades commenters buy the first book.

  11. No one makes the purple-tooth lethe like Jeff.

    All you whiners go look at some globed peonies or something.

  12. Dan Collins says:

    Turning to poison as the bee mouth sips.

  13. RiverC says:

    This is a good post number, by the way. 10101.

  14. Techie says:

    It’s been a rough weekend for Denver and Jeff. Let him heal. If it makes you feel better, I think that Brett Farve wasn’t worthy enough to be the Falcon’s backup QB!

  15. cranky-d says:

    This is a good post number, by the way. 10101.

    That means this is actually post 21, in some alternate universe.

  16. McGehee says:

    That means this is actually post 21, in some alternate universe.

    Such a universe would have to be populated by people with only one digit per extremity, which would make the whole opposable-thumb thing problematical.

    Maybe one or another of our resident trolls, who almost certainly hails from such a place, could fill us in on what it’s like there.

  17. Carin says:

    Is it just me, or has the “recent comments” thing been attacked by a bunch of spam?

  18. happyfeet says:

    ohnoes. This sounds like something even A*Teens with puppies can’t fix, but I will not let you down. Deep breath, click here – even if you don’t want to and it all feels hopeless and everything is just too dark and I swears if you can just get to the bonus real teen on dolphin action part it’s all gonna turn around I promise.

  19. happyfeet says:

    whaaaa? My link! The darkness is conspiring to thwart me. Hmmm. Try here.

  20. happyfeet, sometimes you scare me. maybe you could find some Superchick? they’re Christianist to boot.

  21. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    WTF just happened here?

  22. cranky-d says:

    The alternate Universe could be populated by the Binars.

  23. psychologizer says:

    Maybe one or another of our resident trolls, who almost certainly hails from such a place, could fill us in on what it’s like there.

    Good sex, bad basketball.

  24. Rob B. says:

    Monkeys or The Monkees? Peter Tort called and he said that the hip has been bugging him but Casey Jones is all for a reunion if the money is right.

  25. BJTexs says:

    I think that site problems + brainwash + Rockies + Broncos + Overnight Spam + challeron = pissed off host who needs to vent some serious frustration.

    We’ll wait for you.

  26. CraigC says:

    Did I miss something? Was {*burp*} supposed to be a link?

  27. Techie says:

    No, Craig, just the Val-U-Rite Vodka he “borrowed” from Ace coming back to haunt him.

  28. BJTexs says:

    For those wondering:

    See here: https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=10099#comment-270422

    And here: https://proteinwisdom.com/?p=10099#comment-270534

    Unresolved frustration will shorten your life, I’m tellin’ ya!

  29. J. Brenner says:

    “I think that site problems + brainwash + Rockies + Broncos + Overnight Spam + challeron = pissed off host who needs to vent some serious frustration.”

    No, no, no! It clearly has nothing to do with sports or blogging, but rather, with sex. The trick to understanding this is Jeff’s first post: “Later, gator”. Here Jeff is clearly emulating Sean Connery in that James Bond film (Thunderball?). Like Connery’s character, Jeff has probably just banged a hot blonde spa attendant – his post is just his hypermasculinist way of informing her that he’s through with her. Jeff is all about the cultural references.

  30. mojo says:

    God, I hate it when somebody “psychoanalyzes” a flippin’ blog post.

    It says what it says. Deal with the perceived contradictions however you like.

    Me? I relax, have a smoke and let the insanity wash over me. In waves

  31. Rob Crawford says:

    It’s been a rough weekend for Denver and Jeff.

    Meh. It was a game. I had such a week I’m not sure if it was good or bad.

  32. Rob Crawford says:

    Unresolved frustration will shorten your life, I’m tellin’ ya!

    In which case I’m on death’s door.

  33. dicentra says:

    Hey, does anyone know what the deal is with Shire Network News? I haven’t been able to listen to the podcast just yet, and the LGF comments are too cryptic for me to figure out what the nature of the rift was.

  34. happyfeet says:

    feedme and also I too like monkeys.

    Very much.

  35. Dan Collins says:

    There’s a crackup involving a Dutch political party, and whether they’re racist or not, I think, dicentra.

  36. Dale says:

    JG, I’m torn, dude. On the one hand, it’s your shop, print what you want, critics be damned!

    On the other hand, the threats of “I’m outta here,” are getting old. I love the site, guest posters are a good addition. And Colorado’s had a tough weekend. But geez. If you need someone to say it: the pubs where we have our say, the PW main is your baby.

    Happy now?

  37. me says:

    Thanks for the links BJTexs. All clear now. Whew.

  38. BJTexs says:

    Hey, does anyone know what the deal is with Shire Network News?

    There’s a crackup involving a Dutch political party, and whether they’re racist or not, I think, dicentra.

    It involves a conference in Belgium on fighting European Islamification through immigration and multicutluralism. The prominent participation of Valaams Belang, the Flemish nationalist party in Belgium, has cauised some controversy due to the flemish collaberation with the Nazi’s and the party’s own pseudo-racist views. There is also a kerfuffle about the participation of the Swedish Democrats for many of the same reasons.

  39. Obstreperous Infidel says:

    Oh, this is due to Challeron’s comment? Or Challeron’s little comment was the straw that broke the camel’s back. Shit, I didn’t comment in that thread because Green Bay and Denver are of absolutely no interest to me. I’m not sure why anyone would bitch about a post, though. It makes no sense. Jeff, you da man.

  40. Education Guy says:

    You know what this is like? This is like back when you were in grade school and some little punk would do something that would get the whole class in trouble. Stupid little trouble making punks.

  41. N. O'Brain says:

    Come back, Shane!

  42. hindmost says:

    But…but…but… I *must* know how things conclude with the HOA hag! And in case there’s any doubt (or some wondering if I’m facetiously agreeing with some that don’t like Jeff’s posts), I’m dead serious.

    If I didn’t like the site, I um… wouldn’t read it. But I wouldn’t feel the need to make some bitchy comment on my way out.

  43. dicentra says:

    Yeah, I was just able to hear the podcast. I’m with Tom Paine and Charles. We shouldn’t make common cause with unsavories. That’s what Vlaams Belang’s predecessor did: they thought that if they collaborated with the Nazis, they’d get their Dearest Wish, an independent Flanders.

    They should have known who they were dealing with from the get-go, but they were so intent on their political goals that they sold their fellows down the river. No way should the bastards get amnesty, 60 years ago or not. People should know that if they collaborate with evil, the consequences don’t go away with time.

    Or is that OT?

  44. mojo says:

    Armadillo Aerospace?

    Gee, I hope the little guy’s all right…

  45. lee says:

    “They should have known who they were dealing with from the get-go, but they were so intent on their political goals that they sold their fellows down the river.”

    Kinda like FDR dealing with Stalin? Poor Poland, Ukraine, etc.

    That observation aside, I don’t know anything about the situation exept what I’ve read here. Just thought I should confess that…

  46. happyfeet says:

    I blame those freaky uptight orange-banner craven fuckwad people really. I think maybe I will destroy them.

  47. The Thin Man says:

    “prominent participation of Valaams Belang, the Flemish nationalist party in Belgium”

    “Valamms Belang”? Sounds like some kind of unction one might apply to a case of Trench Foot or the much more virulent and itchy Devonshire Brothel Creep.

    You see, this is what happens when countries won’t do the done thing and just speak bloody English. These foreign johnnies can be dashed hard to understand sometimes. It makes foreign travel bally tricky unless ones’ valet can get his tongue round the local lingo.

    Yours
    Sir Arthur Counterblast MC DSO

    PS

    Jeff, don’t be all downhearted. If you went away, we would have to consider FORCING you to be funny. At gunpoint. And with a car battery and crocodile clips. Or paddles.

  48. I'm Just Saying says:

    OT, but Lee, if FDR had not joined with Stalin, then the Poles and Ukrainians would not have been controlled by the Russians?

  49. happyfeet says:

    Yes. We need to get to the bottom of that.

  50. The Ouroboros says:

    Oh.. freakin great.. I got here just in time to hear the bitchin about some previous bitchin about the latest “I’m outta here” comment..

    That’s it.. I’ve had it.. I’m outta here too… until ya’ll move on to some new topic..

    ..that’ll be like later this afternoon.. Dont worry.. I wont let the door hit me on the ass on the way out.

  51. mojo says:

    We already know where YOUR ass is, Ouroboros…

  52. The Thin Man says:

    Door hit you on the ass on the way out?

    Use new Valamms Belang unction to soothe, heal and rejuvinate.

    Now with polymer-micro-spores for “baby-soft” ass smoothness.

  53. happyfeet says:

    rise to vote sir

    That’s a palindrome.

    Amaze your friends!

  54. The Ouroboros says:

    ..We already know where YOUR ass is, Ouroboros…

    That’s right.. that’s because I wear my ass on my sleeve… or sometimes as a hat..

  55. happyfeet says:

    I think he’s making a play on your name. I thought it rather clever really.

  56. lee says:

    Thanks Jeff, well, here it goes…

    Here’s how to have fun when a dick shows up.

  57. mojo says:

    Gee, my fan!

    Here, have a fish…

  58. The Ouroboros says:

    It was clever.. and of course went right over my head.. Touche!

  59. JD says:

    In case everyone forgot, timmah is a cock knocker that enjoys getting tea-bagged by small farm animals.

  60. JD says:

    The Ouroboros – I cannot even begin to count the number of jokes that go flying right over my head around here.

  61. JD says:

    I wonder if I’m Just Sayin’ is really timmah. It is the same type of rambling pretentious prose, with a touch of holier than thou mixed in.

  62. McGehee says:

    Dammit, IJS didn’t stick around to explain how basketball could possibly suck worse than it already does in our base-10 universe.

  63. ginsocal says:

    I wonder about this.

  64. JD says:

    McGehee – Pro basketball could not possibly suck more, even if they tried.

    Like college football, college basketball still has its soul intact.

  65. serr8d says:

    Damn.

    My bet is this ‘Shalleron’ poster with the sand in the vagina is a carefully-calculated-and-placed post by one Timmah. After all, he did promise to bring down this place. “Tune into the Protein Wisdom next week to see how my criticism of Jeff Goldstein has forced him to retirement…

    Fuck him. With vengeance.

  66. Challeron says:

    I’m really sorry you feel that way, Jeff; however:

    how my criticism of Jeff Goldstein

    was actually about Dan Collins, hence my original reference to the Pub.

    But, hey, if

    Fuck him. With vengeance

    is the best response I can get, from someone who can’t even spell my name (much less being aware that I am an infrequent, but fairly-long-time commenter), then this place has fallen a long way from where it used to be, back when JG was trying to teach us how language is supposed to work….

  67. Dan Collins says:

    My fault, Challeron. I understand that you come here for Jeff and his stuff. I don’t think it’s worthwhile carrying this misunderstanding forward.

  68. serr8d says:

    That with vengeance would be to Timmah, if he were so clever as to manipulate our host in such a way. Sorry if that wasn’t well written. Forward with support for Jeff would be my only desire.

  69. CelticDragon says:

    Challeron, the “fuck him” statement was meant for Timmah, one of our local trolls, assuming you were actually him posting as someone else. However, minor point of blog ettiquette, criticising a bloghost for what he posts on HIS blog is a little, how do you say, oh yes, RUDE. It’s his bandwidth, he gets to say whatever he wants, and if he wants to spend all his hours discussing the mating habits of the common armadillo, well, it’s his blog.

    And quite frankly, I’m kind of wondering just what the little fellow’s up to, and into…

  70. happyfeet says:

    I think the misunderstanding is that it’s all not really dance monkey dance but more Piano Man really. That’s what I think.

  71. Dan Collins says:

    Close. Bojangles.

  72. McGehee says:

    Well, it’s ten o’clock on a Wednesday
    And the regulars slowly come in…

  73. serr8d says:

    And, to boot, Dan Collins is doing a fine job as well. Here and in the Pub. I see no reason for criticism of anyone’s post, whether he be guest poster or host, on any blog, unless you want to run the risk of being mistaken for a troll.

    Maybe you’ve need of something besides a mere ‘pocketwatch’ palm pilot by which to read posts? I have a nice C-64 in the attic I’ll part with.

    Palmistry, though, by it’s very nature, you’re on your own.

  74. happyfeet says:

    Darleen too.

  75. happyfeet says:

    Oh no.

    I’m doing that cocker spaniel thing again aren’t I?

  76. I can\’t believe the amount of time it takes to find good posts like this. Thanks!

  77. TheGeezer says:

    As wew jump in hours and dates, I begin to wonder: has someone let the Heathkit octal monster loose?

Comments are closed.