Courtesy of Maxim.
While there are some obvious targets on the list (Joan Rivers, Burt Reynolds, eg), some less obvious celebrities come in for close scrutiny. For instance, Jenna Jameson and Don Johnson. And here’s how they describe Carrot Top:
Oh, Carrot Top. That crazy hair and ass-ugly face didn´t seem to make you hate yourself enough? You had to go and transform yourself to look like the ugliest woman on the planet? Hope you´re happy!
My. Rather direct, I’d say.
Not that I disagree with them, mind you — Mr. Top has the kind of cheek bones for which Oprah Winfrey would give up Mallow pies — but the writers at Maxim had better hope that CT had pec, bicep, and calf implants, as well. Otherwise, there’s likely to be a Carrot Top wilding. Which, if things turn ugly, could mean little bits of Maxim writer flecked all over the office walls.
Like a calzone filled with bone fragments exploded.
One does not tick off the Top without suffering his wrath. At least, that’s the rumor…
Carrot Top did look rather disturbing. What is with all the make-up?
Priscilla Presley looks like she goes to Michael Jackson’s plastic surgeon, and skin bleacher.
They are lying when they say they would not do Jenna Jameson.
Tara Reid’s nudity is the worst thing on the internet. If you look closely — which don’t — her left breast appears to be slant-mining silicone out of her right breast through her belly, and her abs are collapsing over the tunnels. Gruesome shit.
psychologizer – I am just not going to be able to get on board with the idea that Tara Reid nekkid being the worst thing on the internet. I once saw a picture of Rosie O’ and her furry back taking it doggy-style from Michael Moore. My eyes bled for days.
Kenny Rogers? THAT is Kenny fucking Rogers!!??
As for this one, I suspect he wants to be able to do without makeup in the Sin City sequel.
Ridiculing these people for how they look is too kind.
I think it’s more about ridiculing them for how they elected to look.
Just think of Maxim as Simon Cowell, and Carrot Top and that Hung guy.
I’m seeing a “Star Trek” movie – “The Wrath of Carrot Top”.
Ok, maybe not.
But at least I’m tryin’, huh?
A little credit over here, sahib!
That Maxim comment on Carrot Top? Sounds like they ripped it off from the Comedy Central Roast of Flavor Flav.
They busted on Carrot Top almost as much as the main attraction. Made it more fun, to be perfectly honest.
“Tara Reid’s nudity is the worst thing on the internet. If you look closely  which don’t  her left breast appears to be slant-mining silicone out of her right breast through her belly, and her abs are collapsing over the tunnels. Gruesome shit”
How could you DARE to print this without the salacious link?
What? Are you old or something?
I was horrifically mistaken upthread. The pic was Rosie O’Blowhard giving it to Michael Moore doggy-style, with a strap-on. The furriest backs you have ever seen. And cottage cheese, oh, the cottage cheese.
I was hoping they would find OJ guilty and then execute Carrot Top. Why is that thing on my planet?
This can only mean one thing…swollen testicle protester man didn’t use plastics.
JD
That was awful. You need to enable your safe search filter…
I’ll go on record to say that neither one of those two has seen their junket in years
I don’t know, Tara looks ok from the eyebrows up.
Feh. Just sic Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer on him. Or Regis.
Hell, Kathy Lee.
I could have done without the hint of carrot bottom, ya know?
“One does not tick off the Top…”
Especially if the Top is Rosie, and she has a huge spiked dildo.
Re #4. We need a special category for “celebrities that you can’t recognize after their plastic surgery”. Rogers is definitely on the list. The other candidate from this list is Joan Rivers. I saw a photo of her in a magazine with her daughter, and I didn’t have a clue who either of them were.
Many (maybe all) of these pictures can be found on
http://www.awfulplasticsurgery.com/
It’s a veritable freak show of people who’ve done some very, very sad things to themselves. Almost like a slow motion train wreck – you don’t want to look, but you can’t help yourself. I can almost guarantee you’ll spend a half hour checking it out.
jaysus h keerist…that was KennyR and Mickey Rourke?? God in heaven, what were they thinking… I mean they have tons of money and they come out looking like something from Resident Evil?
I’ve seen some amazing stuff done on people who have been flung through windshields and kissed the pavement for 50 feet or so…or have had the ravages of cancer eat away some significant parts
but who the hell do these men and women think they are fooling with the House of Wax makeovers?
Crazy thing is, I’d seen a pic of Rogers not too long ago, and he still looked like Kenny Rogers — just older and with less hair. Maybe a little tight around the cheekbones but still recognizable.
The guy in that pic I linked, that don’t look like Kenny Rogers.
I think it’s more about ridiculing them for how they elected to look.
I think maybe you didn’t read what I wrote right maybe?
The Unknown Professor – You are so right. 30 minutes was just a start. Some of those people chose to turn themselves into mutants.
I’m scarred for life. Why the fuck didn’t Bert Reynold’s realize that rugged cowboys are supposed to have lots of wrinkles – and not supposed to have a Joker grin stretched to the back of their heads?!!
I always loved the song “Seen and not Seen” by the talking heads where, ironically, the subject imagines aging as a deliberate change of look.
He would see faces in movies, on T.V., in magazines, and in books.
He thought that some of these faces might be right for him.
And through the years, by keeping an ideal facial structure fixed in his mind
Or somewhere in the back of his mind
That he might,
by force of will, cause his face to approach those of his ideal.
The change would be very subtle
It might take ten years or so
Gradually his face would change its’ shape:
A more hooked nose
Wider, thinner lips
Beady eyes
A larger forehead.
He imagined that this was an ability he shared with most other people
they had also molded their faced according to some ideal.
Maybe they imagined that their new face would better suit their personality.
Or maybe they imagined that their personality would be forced to change to fit the new appearance.
This is why first impressions are often correct.
Although some people might have made mistakes.
They may have arrived at an appearance that bears no relationship to them.
They may have picked an ideal appearance based on some childish whim, or momentary impulse.
Some may have gotten half-way there, and then changed their minds.
He wonders if he too might have made a similar mistake.
Talking Head, “Seen and not seen”
Concept also used in “Crosseyed and Painless”:
I always thought that song was about trying to “maintain” while tripping.
Understanding Surgery…
Surgery The statement is quite reliable, the desire to obtain medical transformation, adding a mini-vacation and came home with the changes, literally and figuratively. The procedures are generally not considered covered by the plan or your existing in…
breast enhancement procedures are getting more and more popular these days”-