Video here, courtesy STACLU.
Incidentally, Steve Green and I talked about this very thing on next week’s Pajamas Media XM radio show (not sure when it airs, to be honest). From what I can gather, Rhodes was mugged by 14 Ketel-One Bloody Marys — which, given that she might have been enjoying those libations in the evening — makes her mugging completely antithetical to conservatism.
I mean, what Buckleyite would be caught dead drinking Bloody Marys a) indoors, b) in the evening, and c) during the fall.
Seriously? Has Manhattan turned into Key West? Is it okay now to wear white linen pants and straw hats after Labor Day? Help me, GQ.
Now, had Ms Rhodes been mauled by several drams of nice single malt Islay (15-years or older), then I’d be more inclined to listen to some of the conspiracy theories that sprung up in the wake of her midtown face plant.
But as it stands? You’d have a better chance convincing me that Janice Joplin was poisoned by J Foster Dulles, who disguised himself as a west Texas biker and slipped some arsenic into one of the soul-throated rocker’s rum and cokes.
****
update: Randi Rhodes finally goes public (h/t Dan Collins)
Turns out she’s the one responsible for the “mugged” story — though she never said it was rightwingers who mugged her. Just that somebody struck her from behind. Though she’s not sure about that, either.
Probably because she was high on vodka and tomato juice, and, while stumbling about fishing for a cig, got one of her heels caught in a crack in the sidewalk.
Janis Joplin drank Southern Comfort. With Coke? Maybe. Depends on the kind.
Off for a bit to beat back the scourge of weeds threatening to depress the values of all the houses on the prairie.
Should they ever appear.
Sure, I did so yesterday, but you can never be too vigilant.
See, that’s why you eat the pickle and the celery.
So you guys really believe that Malkin bought that doorstop costume just to wear on Halloween? What a bunch of stooges!
I was especially entertained by the moonbats that refused to believe Err America’s statement that it was not a mugging or a hate crime.
Why is it when I see “Susan Estrich”, I always see “Susan Estrogen”?
What really happened to Ms Rhodes.
Bouncy bouncy.
Someone tell Ozzy! Not dead, just on Air America! He’ll be so happy!
Ok, seriously. How can there have been someone out there named Randi Rhodes, who is supposed to be famous, and is not dead, and I haven’t heard about it?
I have the E! channel for Christ’s sake, I even know who Hanna Montana is. How did this get by me?
I’ve been doing nothing put playing guitar hero for like a week now, if I had just known…the bad jokes…oh the humanity…
…The Mallkin(sic) Mongoloid Mafia…
So funny on so many levels…
I hope she comes back soon and interviews Franklin Foer.
So, all of that moonbat chatter about Bush, Cheney, Halliburton and Blackwater conspiring to silence Teh Left was really just that chick from Err America, with a man-ly voice getting all Kennedied up and trying to walk home? Buy stock in Reynolds Wrap, as there is an obvious rush on tin-foil.
– Tin-foil protection from Rush?
– By the by, the good folks at Google have “exorsized” their rights to censor free speech in that “special” SecProgg way, by taking down the video. “this video has been removed for noncomplience….yada, yada”, then replaced with just plain “Sorry, this video is no longer available”.
– So take that you eeeeevil Bushchimpy Neocon minions!!! Google does redact offensive Democratic videos.
– Especially when they make Democrats look like the total morons they obviously are.
Has Karl Rove yet confessed to supplying her booze funnel(tm)? Her oversized booze funnel(tm)? Naughty, naughty!
Good Allah. She thought the appropriate way to tell her employer that she got drunk and fell down, catching the weight of her fall with her Mr. Ed sized face, was to tell them that she got mugged ? For the vast majority of Americans, were we to lie to our employer, and they subsequently found out about it, we would no longer have an employer.
On an empty stomach, 14 Bloody Marys can just sort of sneak up on a person, just like that person said in the GAWKER blurb. She probably didn’t know what hit when she stood up.
But judging from a recent picture, she has the look of someone who only drinks from time to time. You know, from the time she wakes up, to the time she falls asleep or passes out.
14 Bloody Mary’s and she is taking unassisted headers on a sidewalk. A piker, she is.
JD – Maybe she’s just a social drinker who has a problem with blackouts.
So I’m checking my phone as I’m leaving Moe’s pub off 72nd and this drunk culchie to my fronts must’a stopped dead because right then, whaziz, I’m all up on her back, unreal. Said “sorry wog lady” but I had 12 messages needin’ my reply and a dinner reservation to make in Midtown. It’s New York, know what I’m saying. Whose got the time fer all these bleedin’ leprechauns.
Now that I think about it, all those times that I blacked out and fell down on sidewalks outside of bars may have been caused by somebody else. But not Blackwater thugs. Well, maybe not by Blackwater thugs. My lawyers tell me that I shouldn’t rule anything out.
Hey Dan, thanks for the update and the audio of the Rhodes lady. It also include some snapshots of her in various poses and it occurs to me that if she had passed out without trying to catch herself with her hands, those huge rubbery boobs would have bounced her back upright and she’d have gone back into Tipsy McStumblers for several night-caps. I say Blackwater. What say you?
That should have read “Tipsy J. McStumblers”. Sorry for the confusion.
I gotta say, if I had gone out and gotten wasted (been known to happen). Then fell down and busted my face (ditto), and had to call in sick the next day (as far as you will ever know that’s never happened), I’d probably lie to my boss.
If I was in NYC, I might say to my boss, “Sorry I can’t come in today, I got mugged”. It’s a little dramatic, but it’s believable.
If he chose to hear, “Sorry I can’t come in today, last night I got gang-raped on a pinball table by the board of directors of Halliburton then Roger Ailes came up and punched me right in the face!” Well, what can you do?
14??? Seriously. How is that possible? I would be dead.
Once, in college, a small half bottle of Tequila knocked me over in the girl’s restroom and forced me to puke.
We never spoke again.
I say, Backwater.
I drank 15 bloody marys once and then walked home. Of course, I was at the Enlisted Club at the Presidio doing some bar-bet with my pal Frank versus two Marines! Why in the world a sensible human being that weighed less than 220 and is in the US Ground Forces would do such a foolhardy thing can mean only one thing.
Randi has A Problem.
If she hadn’t blacked out, fallen down and busted her face, I’d be right with you there RWS.
I was thinking the bartender was padding the tab, but it sounds like she was pretty housed.
I haven’t heard if she had a wingman or if she’s left the team behind and gone pro.
datadave would have fired her for being too drunk to show up for work.
As a former professional, I can attest that 14 Bloody Mary’s is definitely Minor League material, and kind of gross. 2, maybe 3 to nurse yourself back into shape, but 14? Now if it was 15 rounds of cold beer with a Jaeger Bomb chaser, then maybe I would be impressed.
JD: So, what? Are you Semi-Pro now? (heh)
All of the very worse things that have ever happened to me drinking wise involved some iteration of Tequila. Shots, shooters jello things, whatever. Release of stomach contents and horrifically pained hangovers with wide swaths of memory loss are just a few of the sad results. Oh, and almost getting blown out of the water near Newport, RI by a Navy missile cruiser.
um, not good times…..
Yeah, BJ, Tequila and I haven’t been friends for many a year. Except for I was never “almost…blown out of the water near Newport, RI by a Navy missile cruiser”. That’s just plain insane. For me, it was just falling down very large stairwells. Just twice. But, both times were true works of art. Bad Tequila…
BJ – I am a retired professional now ;-)
I had experiences waking up in different states, in vacant apartments (that happened a couple of times), hurling in a cash register, jumping off the ferry from Nantucket, blah, blah, blah. I can proudly say that I was never targeted by the US Navy. Though I have to admit, the folks in the harbor in Boston were not the least bit pleased when we jumped from the ferry. They did not appreciate our elegant form on our cannonballs. No sense of humor.
It is really disconcerting when you wake up in the same vacant apartment on 2 consecutive Saturday mornings.
I am still in awe about BJ being targeted by the US Navy.
Hmmm.
News at 6: Drunk chick falls on face …
It’s hard to be sarcastic when the news itself is a parody.
JD – 14 is amateur hour in the day. Bloody Marys are not a drink I would have chosen to go for distance, too filling. They have the illusion of nutrition, but they make you feel bloated. You have to drink somethink that lets you piss it out or leave room for more to get that “proper” pants pissing buzz.
OK, OK. Just about a month after the “Stark” shot the Iraqi airliner out of the sky, my brother and I, along with some business associates, got stinking pie faced on Bro’s 42′ cabin cruiser doing Tequila shots. We decided to take a cruise up the Narragansett and see the missile cruiser anchored in the harbor just offshore from the War College.
Suffice to say that one shouldn’t sidle up to a Navy ship on high security alert witrh a 42′ boat and no running lights on!
I would prefer never to be struck with multiple spotlights and see several twitchy naval personnel with M-16’s pointed at our boat. The aiming of the 50 Cal. was just a little bonus.
I will say that it is a very effective method of quick sobriety.
Radio Equalizer
BJ – The people in my office are sticking their heads in my door wondering why in the world I am laughing so hard. Thanks.
Twitchy M-16’s and a .50 cal would be pretty damn persuasive, I am guessing.
So what do you suppose really happened to Dan “What’s the frequency, Kenneth” Rather? I vote for Tequila. Do not ever stay up all night drinking Tequila and playing cards with Japanese bar girls. You have been warned.
JD: What became a good laugh (after the fact) was the drunken clueless look on both my brother’s and my face when the hailer blared out, “HALT! YOU ARE IN A RESTRICTED ZONE AND RUNNING WITHOUT LIGHTS!” Basically the looks said: Moron, meet Clueless. The business associates were all in various stages of wetting themselves.
Certainly in the top five of the dumbest things in my life, although I will point out that it was my brother’s boat.
If that is only about to muster “in my top 5”, the other 4 should be sensational.
I’ve no way of knowing for certian but I could swear that I heard the sailer crank the 50 Cal. It was probably my drunken imagination but it sounded so real!
Persuasive is not the best description. Hot damn sobering, gut punch frightening and get the hell out of Dodge would be a better review.
I’ll give it #2 on the list only to be surpassed by an alchohol inspired idea (are you sensing a tragic pattern here?) for a buddy of mine and I to tackle some PA level 4 rapids swimming with life vests! A picture of this is in wiktionary under Friggin’ idyuts.
I was coughing up stream water for three days and have never been so scared in my life.
That is the 3rd keyboard in one day, and you didn’t even mention a taint.
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